Chapter 8

My brother was quiet for a long time after I’d kissed him. I tried not to get impatient, sitting there next to him, waiting. Finally, he said, ‘Dot, are you sure?’

Before I was able to answer, he continued.

‘I just don’t want us to do something either of us will regret,’ Alex said. ‘I don’t want to hurt you, or scar you emotionally, or anything. Once we do it, we can’t undo it. Maybe we should think about this. I want to you to be sure.’

‘Are YOU sure?’ I asked, adding, ‘that you want to, I mean.’

Alex closed his eyes. ‘Yesterday, when we were about to—when I was about to go in you—nothing on Earth could’ve stopped me, except what did, or if you’d told me no.’ He turned to look at me. ‘I still feel that way, but it all happened so fast yesterday. I’ve been thinking about this for years—maybe you should at least take a day.’

You know, it didn’t sound like bad advice. My big brother was still trying to look out for me, trying to save me from myself—or from him. I nodded slowly, disappointment clouding my thoughts. Fuck! I’d been so pumped to be able to come home and finally, finally get what I’d dreamed of, what he’d dreamed of ... had imagined, on and off all day, what it’d be like to have his cock slide into me, as it was about to yesterday. But Alex was right. This was a huge thing, probably bigger than losing my virginity, because if we went through with this it would be crossing a huge societal taboo. I’d be fucking my brother. And I knew, if we did do it, that we wouldn’t stop at once. If the hunger in Alex was anything like it was in me, we’d be fucking like bunnies all over the house every chance we got. So, now was really the time to stop and re-evaluate, before we opened that can of worms.

I rubbed my eyes tiredly, cursing under my breath: ‘Shit.’ Then I looked up at my brother. ‘Alex, you’re right. This is a really big decision and it wouldn’t make sense to jump into it like we almost did yesterday. I should take some time to think about it rationally.’ I shook my head, muttering under my breath, ‘But I’m just so fucking horny.’

Alex stifled a laugh. ‘You are? Oh Dot, that’s funny.’

‘That’s funny?’ I looked at him, eyebrows questioning. ‘Well, I’m not of that opinion. Excuse me, I think I’ll go blow off some steam in my room for a bit.’

‘Just a second.’ Alex held up one finger, gesturing for me to wait, crossed the two steps between us, and then swept me up into his arms, making me squeal. He was carrying me to his room.

‘Alex!’ I protested, but he covered my mouth with his. By the time he pulled away we were in his room with the door shut, and he was lying me out on his bed. ‘What are you doing?’ He was unbuttoning my school blouse to kiss my neck and the small swell of my pale breasts. ‘I thought we just agreed I should think about whether or not having sex with you was actually a good idea!’

He stopped kissing me and propped his head up on one hand. ‘That’s right, Dot. I guess I should ask first. I still think you should think about that. But if you’re needing, can I make you feel good right now? We don’t have to have sex for me to bring you pleasure. Do you think that’s okay?’

It made me blush to think what he might do, but I nodded. ‘Yes. I would like that.’ Suddenly I felt all shy, but I returned his gentle kiss as his fingers continued unbuttoning my blouse until it was all the way off, lifting my torso so he could unlatch my bra and bury his face between my freed breasts, licking at my nipples in a way that made me arch up under him and moan. Then he kissed down my stomach, returning to my breasts to gently bite and suck until there was a red mark left behind—my first hickey.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, he got to my skirt and unzipped it. I shimmied out of it, and lay there, on my back on his bed, while my brother gazed down at me for a moment. ‘Boy you’re a treat,’ he murmured, leaning back down over me to kiss my mouth. It felt dirty, to be almost naked when he still had all his clothes on.