Chapter 1: Why Limit Yourself to Just One Girlfriend?

"Who is your dream girl? What do you have to do to get her as a girlfriend?"

Jim pondered that kind thought. As a recently minted college bachelor and master's degree holder he'd had plenty of female friends who were approaching true womanhood: everything from a couple of one night stands, to women who told him they thought of him as their brother, and on to slightly longer – a month? – relationships that included some affection and sex, but not much else.

Jim waved his hand in the air and said, "Jenny Lee, Sasha Grey, Molly Bennett, Lexi Belle, and Dani Daniels all have my attention, although the feelings between us are somewhat unilateral."

Bob laughed, "They're all porn stars and don't know you even exist, and if they did they'd think you were a perv and tell you to fuck off. Don't you have anyone closer to home that you think about having a serious relationship with?"

Jim gave him a look that signaled 'No.'

Bob said, "You want to be happy, right?"

Jim nodded.

"You have a good family, but only a limited constellation of friends that you cultivate."

"I cultivate you and Matt," Jim countered. Bob and Matt had been his best friends since the fourth grade. Living only a mile away and going to the same college had helped cement their geekish friendship. None of them could be considered a stud or a ladies man.

Bob countered, "I read this great story by Thornton Wilder called Theopolis North. In the story he cultivates a 'constellation of friends' around him. Think of it this way, there are two sets of friends in a full constellation – male and female sides, and within each of those sides you have at least three close friends your age, three younger preferably by a decade or more, and three older – again hopefully by a decade or more. Your parents and siblings don't count unless there's some highly unusual situation."

Jim used a stick he'd picked up to sketch what he was talking about on the ground beside the picnic table we sat at on the town commons; "So, it'd look like this – nine males and nine females with me in the middle?" He drew several connected 'H' diagrams. For each person, he put a little node on his stick drawing.

"Right. Can you fill in the names?"

He went to the male-near-my-own-age side of the chart and pointed at a node. "This one would be you." Jim moved to the next node, "This would be Matt." He stopped.

"Who else?"

Jim shook his head. "I can't do it. When you say 'close friends' I think of having revealing and open discussions with these friends. You and Matt are the only people I do that with. Once in a while with my sister Tracy."

Bob smiled, "Then you have your summer project lined up. Fill in most of the grid by the end of the summer."

Jim reflected on the discussion, "And I'm doing this because it'll make me happy?"

Bob cheered a little too loudly; several others walking nearby turned and looked. "Right!"

He paused and went on, "I majored in psychology because I like the idea of working with and helping people. Maybe my new job will help me do that. Whenever we studied happiness, coming at it from any angle, the number one criterion was strong and vital relationships among friends and family."

Jim countered, "I do have a strong family. I even like my manipulative and self-focused kid sister."

Bob said, "But you need bench depth. You need to talk to all the people in your constellation for broader perspectives on life. No one can have it all; each person has areas they're especially good at – for instance, my mother's friend Jane is the best networker and communicator in the world. If I want to know how to do something in that area I'd go to her. No one else in my constellation even comes close to what she does."

"I can use the Internet," Jim protested.

"Not the same," Bob countered. "You want first hand, local expertise. You want to be able to dialogue face-to-face with the person about what you're trying to do, get their ideas and perspectives, test your own for completeness and validity. Having a generation older means you can tap into their wisdom. Having a generation younger in your constellation means you get the fresh ideas and perspectives of the kids coming up behind you. Having others in your own generation gives you other contemporary perspectives. And having males and females gives you the Mars and Venus perspectives we all need for balance."

"I'll think about your crazy constellation and fill it in," Jim said. He liked the intellectual stimulation his friend often brought into their conversations. Bob also liked lists and frameworks, so the constellation was no surprise on that count. This also appealed to Jim's analytical side.

"No immediate family," he reminded me.

Bob asked, "So, back to my original question: who's your dream girl? Who'd you want as your girlfriend?"

Jim smiled. "Sheila Parkinson ... right here on this picnic table begging me to do her, and I'd also like her in my constellation."

Bob gawked at me, "The Ice Princess?"

"I'm sure she warms up once you get to know her." Jim waggled his eyebrows to indicate his lecherous feelings towards her.

Sheila Parkinson had been the prettiest girl in the high school graduating class, and probably the entire school system for the past decade. She was truly model material, but had no leanings in that direction. She'd also gone to the local college as a business major, even getting an MBA. Jim saw her occasionally on campus, plus when everyone was home for the holidays, but any contact they had was brief and superficial befitting of remote classmates.

Bob said, "She'd be a tough choice, maybe even unrealistic. She's such a cynic about everything."

"Well, she's my dream girl – at least for tonight."

"Have you ever asked her out?"

Jim pshawed, "No, but I might work up to it now that I'm working instead of studying all the time plus have a job." He patted the table; "Maybe she'd like to have a picnic with me, right here."

Three evenings later, Bob and Jim were again hanging out at the picnic table on one side of the town commons. The air was heavy with the residual heat from the summer afternoon, but the bugs weren't too bad.

Bob reported with some enthusiasm, "I have been working on the ten secrets to success and happiness. They may be useful in luring Sheila into your net."

Jim rolled his eyes at the stars, "Lay it on me, Mr. Psychology Major."

"I'm not done yet. I'm wordsmithing. I've been reading all sorts of lists by famous people, plus books about happiness and success – everything from Napoleon Hill to Tony Robbins to Ghandi, the Dali Lama, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Warren Buffet. They all say the same things, only sometimes they use different vocabulary."

"The first area we talked about a couple of nights ago – having a constellation of great relationships of friends and family. I still love the constellation concept, but I wanted a higher goal, so I'm toying with 'Love and care for a circle of family and friends.' I like the word 'circle' because it implies enclosure and completeness. I think it hints at a constellation being full or nearly so."

Jim asked, "So you only succeed if your constellation is full on both sides – male and female, and everyone, you included, is feeling loved and cared for?"

"I'd be overjoyed," Bob said, " but I suppose I'd be adequately satisfied when half my constellation is full, or maybe that there are nine people whom I love and care for in some significant way. Plus, these aren't goals, they're guidelines for success, happiness, and joy in life. Sex too, I suppose."

Jim laughed, "So, I will love and care for Sheila Parkinson, and that will win her over. Meanwhile, you have your constellation that you're loving and caring for. That's a lot of sex for one guy, but I still won't sleep with you."

After punching me in the arm, he said, "It's not about sex, plus you know I don't swing your way. It's about something deeper and more caring."

"OK, what other goals or guidelines are you setting."

"This may be sort of peculiar, but there's a goal to have goals."

Jim protested, "How many? How significant do they have to be?"

Bob whipped out a small tattered index card from his pocket. "I'm glad you asked me that question. I think you need goals about relationships – we just did that, your career, how to recreate or play, something about being fit and healthy, and maybe one or two other areas. Sex might be another."

I posed, "So, my goal of seducing the lovely Sheila Parkinson might be a worthy goal in your opinion because it can apply a little to each of those? I will have to work at the seduction, when I'm doing her on the table I'll be exercising and getting fit, and I'll be forming a relationship with her. The experience will be so significant, I can write a novel – and that will be my career as an author."

"Worthy, but set a timeframe. Understand each goal and the nuances of reaching it. Does the goal inspire your action? What will happen when you succeed? Are there critical things along the path to reaching it? Your goals have to be actionable and achievable, albeit with a helluvah lot of work."

"Sheila is an ice princess. That'll be a lot of work."

Bob paused and said, "Thus, the third key to success, life, or happiness – or all three – is to believe in yourself. Don't carry around negative, 'I can't do it' thoughts. You need an attitude of success. Matt always says, 'fake it 'til you make it.' Act 'as if' you'll achieve your goals, be a success, and always be happy."

Jim stood up next to the table and thumped his chest with both fists, "I will be making love to Sheila Parkinson before year's end. I have the will, the perseverance, and I will be honing my seduction skills to make that lofty goal happen for sure. The ice princess will crumble and melt at my feet."

Bob laughed and said, "And how will I have irrefutable verification of this act of passion between the two of you? You certainly don't expect me to simply accept your word that said fucking happened."

"Ah," Jim said, stalling for time and waiting for an idea. "You'll be next to me fucking Monica Young, or some other girl of your choice."

Bob burst out laughing. "Monica's as much of an ice princess as Sheila."

"I throw down the challenge; 'tis a gauntlet we must run for the next six months in our quest for love, glory, and sexual satisfaction." Jim raised his hand as though he carried the Excalibur on high.

Matt Saddler came up to the table about then. "What challenge are you talking about? What gauntlet?" He sat down.

Bob explained about goal setting, and Jim's quest for Sheila Parkinson's pussy. He further explained that he quested after Monica Young's hot box, and had laid down a challenge to him to see which of them could warm up the ice princesses to such an amorous state that they gave up their virtue.

Matt laughed, "Well, I'd like Zoey Frye, but I think she's still got prehistoric ice covering her virtue, and not a chance to break through. She'll die a spinster based on what I know. Despite that, I still think she's cute."

Bob said, "Ah, but you must believe in yourself and in your capabilities to overcome any challenge or adversity that stands in your way of accomplishing your goals." He stood and thumped his chest, "THAT is one of the key factors of success, happiness, and satisfaction with life. This is the age of accomplishment!"

Matt thought about that for a little. "I'm in. It'll be a worthwhile challenge, and besides I've got nothing else to focus on for the next forty years except my new job."

Bob said, "I'm not sure how we'll verify that said consummation occurred. We'll have to think about that. The old trust but verify axiom."

Jim emphasized, "No, no. We'll all be there together fucking the girls. Hey, maybe we could even swap around a little."

Thus, that evening, the three of them decided on a path of romance and seduction of their gorgeous but icy targets.

Jim said, "I am anything but an expert on thawing out ice princesses. Do you have any ideas on how to proceed? Do we just ask them out?"

Bob thought, "I think there's more we should know."

Matt said, "You need to meet my Aunt Alice. She's not really my aunt, but I've called her that the last fifteen years of my life. She's only ten years older; she's hot; and she gives good advice. She also doesn't tell my parents squat about what we talk about."

Jim perked up, "How hot, is she?"

Matt smiled, "Very. I suspect she's what my mother calls a loose woman. We should go see her and ask her about ice princesses and a plan of attack."

Sheila Parkinson, Zoey Frye, and Monica Young sat in a rough triangle on loungers beside Sheila's swimming pool. They each wore what might be called 'nice' bikinis or more appropriately two-piece suits. While their bodies were obviously spectacular, the suits revealed little, and any photo of them from any angle would be rated 'G' – suitable for general audiences of all ages.

Zoey spoke, "I had an epiphany last night."

"Did it feel good and make you warm all over," Sheila teased, obviously hinting about a self-induced orgasm.

Zoey blushed, "I gave myself one of those too, but afterwards I was thinking about my reputation in high school and college."

Monica teased, "You mean 'goody goody.'"

"Yeah, I was – I am, and I realized it's seriously impacting my social life in a negative way."

"How's that?"

"I've rationalized that I was a student that always needed to study in school and college. Consequently, I spent most Fridays and Saturdays doing just that. My grades were great, and my social life sucked. The girls that ... gave it up seemed to be out two or three nights every week, and they were having a ball. They were happy. They might not have gotten straight A's, but they had a social life par excellence. They lived balanced lives; I didn't – I don't."

Sheila said, "What's wrong with good grades?"

Monica nodded in support.

Zoey said, "Nothing in and of itself, but for me it was a rationalization. I heard from one of my friends that more than one guy had labeled me an 'ice princess:' not only don't I put out, but I'm about as frigid as the North Pole. Those comments hurt me. Besides, we've graduated and questing after good grades can no longer be our rationalization for not going out."

Monica protested, "But you've been my role model."

"And when did you go out last?" Zoey countered.

"A department Christmas party about six months ago," she said in a downcast tone. "It was terrible. All these old farts lusting after young co-eds, like me. I only made a brief appearance."

"And would you have liked to go out more?"

"Yes, I guess."

"I guess. I guess. I guess," Zoey teased. "We're all ice princesses. We send out messages that say 'stay away, ' 'we're not social, ' 'don't even try, ' and lots of other things. What did you do over the spring semester when a guy asked you out?"

Monica said, "I turned him down."

"Why?"

Monica blushed, "I figured he wanted to ... you know, have sex."

"So? Why didn't you?"

"I ... I ... was scared a little. I've only had a couple of encounters, and they weren't very good."

Sheila nodded, "Me too. There was never any chemistry or excitement in the men I dated, so I gave up the sport, plus I got badly burnt one time."

Zoey rolled her eyes, "Let me read you a passage from a book I'm reading. She reached beside her and picked up a book. The title caught Sheila's eye – '21^st Century Romance for the Modern Woman.'

She read aloud,

'The woman maturing into her twenties today is often a product of parents and grandparents raised in a less permissive and less understanding era concerning sex and relationships, and the true nature of females. She must cast off these outmoded ways of living, and adopt a new, more contemporary code of conduct for both sex and romance. Already enlightened women are having more satisfying sex than ever before, and coupling it with both romance and recreation.'

"What's that mean?" Sheila asked sarcastically. "Are we supposed to pick up strangers in bars and fuck their lights out?"

Zoey looked incensed, "No, but we have to loosen up. We could always invoke the three date rule or even make it longer, but we always hold out the promise of more to come."

Sheila said, "I got called a prick tease for doing that. After that I got in what I thought was a serious relationship that wasn't. It was after that when I adopted my chastity vows." She folded one arm across her breasts, and covered her pussy area with the other hand in comic gestures.

Zoey said, "Let me read you one more paragraph." She frantically flipped pages in the heavily dog-eared book, stopped, and spoke.

Over eighty percent of the happiest women in our survey rated their sexual experiences as far exceeds expectations. One woman, age 27, summed it up, ' When I have an orgasm with a date, it sends me into orbit. I mean I've never felt such intense pleasure. I never want it to stop. I've become insatiable, and my dates love it, and they love me.' Like many others, this woman has adopted a more open and accepting attitude about sex, and derived extraordinary joy and orgasmic satisfaction from the experience.

Zoey looked at Sheila and Monica. "Does that sound like sex is a bad thing? I think in an effort to protect our virtue and reputations, we've lost sight of the goal."

Sheila said in a serious tone, "Just what is the goal?"

"Sex. Romance. Love. A social life second to none. A circle of men and women friends who adore us and whom we adore. It's all the stuff we don't have now, in other words."

Monica nodded. "So what do we do? Online dating? Put up signs down at the post office?"

Zoey said, "I'm not sure, but let's agree to do something together."

Alice Ames answered the door in about as sexy an outfit as one could imagine, but still get credit for wearing clothes: cut offs that showed a lot of gorgeous ass cheek when she turned, and a thin short-sleeve shirt with the tails tied together under her generous breasts.