Chapter 7

Before I went to my son's room, full of butterflies and uncertainty, I did two things. First, I showered and trimmed my pussy. I left a small, short patch above my slit, and a thin ring around my labia, clearing away most of the hair from my Mons and around my anus.

Second, after rinsing, drying, putting on a sexy bra and white cotton panties, and then wrapping a robe around my naked body, I went to Kira's room a moment and retrieved a couple of condoms from the pack she'd gotten at the clinic. As much as I might want to feel my son without protection, I was still fertile as far as I knew, and I had no wish to take a chance of becoming pregnant. My pussy was already drooling from arousal. Just thinking about my son putting his penis in me had me shivering and feeling a bit nauseous. Jackie was there to give me courage as I sat a moment on Kira's bed.

Don't worry, Penelope. He's already hard and fantasizing about you. He looked for your panties even though he felt guilty about it. He still has the pair from before and he is inhaling your scent. I know I loved smelling you, Penelope. It always made me want to taste you.

I whispered to my sister. "I'm scared, Jackie. I'm so nervous."

That's okay, Sis. You'll know what to do.

"Why are you doing this, Jackie? Why are you encouraging me to become intimate with my children."

Do you really have to ask? Don't you remember what we shared? Don't they deserve what we had?

"But it's incest, Jackie. Yeah, we had something I loved ... but to most people, it's harmful and awful."

Only if it is abusive and there's no consent. Your son and daughter are old enough to know what they want. Let them learn how to be adults in this. They are going to be together. Let their first time together be wonderful.

"My first time wasn't great..."

Mine was worse.

"You never really told me about it..."

I'll show you.

I floated into a room that was decked out in sports posters and pictures of bikini-clad women hung on the wall. I heard giggling and saw that my sister was on her back with a boy named Ira sitting on the edge of the bed. Ira was Jackie's first real boyfriend, at least the first she let touch her in intimate places. He wore a ratty t-shirt and hadn't shaved in days, his blue jeans almost as ragged as his hair, a smirk on his face as he listened to my sister laughing at his joke.

Jackie wore a loose white blouse and a tight red skirt down to her knees, white stockings rising up to her thighs.

I remembered that skirt.

Before my sister and I began to become intimate, I always wished I could wear something like that and as look hot as Jackie. Only much later would I have the confidence to do so, but at the time, my older sister was my idol in many ways, the way she looked so great in beautiful clothing but one small aspect of my early affection for her.

She would have been fifteen. When it had really happened, I was thirteen, just a few months into puberty. While I was awash in confusion about my body and boys, my sister was an eager teen ready to take her relationship with Ira further.

I watched as she stared at the back of his head for a while. The way her legs rocked on the bed showed her excitement, her eagerness, her nerves. How Ira could have ignored my beautiful sister in that moment, staring at a baseball game on his television, I couldn't understand. I'd never known Ira well, Jackie usually sneaking around to be with him. Our parents forbid her to date anyone, and they would have been horrified to know their daughter, my sister, was about to give her cherry to this boy.

"Come on, Ira ... kiss me..."

"In a minute..." He cheered as the screen showed the home team scoring another run in a rout.

I could see that Jackie was bored and disappointed that her offer of a kiss had been ignored.

"Ira ... You can put it in me ... if you want."

"Really?" He turned back finally. "I thought you wanted to wait."

"I did. I waited," Jackie said, a smile coming to her face, "I'm ready."

"Finally ... was starting to wonder if this was going anywhere..."

"What?" Jackie said, looking at him with narrowed eyes.

"Just sayin'. I mean, my last girl, she put out on the second date." He said the last two words with emphasis, as if he was proud of the fact. "We've hung out, what, a dozen times?"

Jackie looked like she was trying to control the hurt his words had caused. "Yeah, well ... you make it sound so damn romantic..."

"Aww, Babe," Ira said, sliding next to Jackie and moving his hand down my sister's stomach. "Don't be like that. You're ready when you're ready. Great. Let's do something..."

Jackie didn't react much when he started to unbutton her blouse, letting Ira fondle her small, perky boobs a minute before he lost interest and gave her a sneaky grin. "Ready for some fun?" he said with false sincerity.

Jackie shrugged. I couldn't believe he was ignoring her obvious signs of uncertainty. What an asshole. He pushed her skirt up over her waist, Jackie moving her hips just enough to let him uncover her panties, a pair of purple bikini-cut cotton underwear which made my imaginary body grow aroused to see.

He chuckled. "You've only let me see it once, you know ... always keeping me out of there ... finally..."

"Hmph," Jackie grunted, staring at the ceiling. I wanted to scream out for her to stop him, to not let this prick have her wonderful gift. But I could only watch. Jackie wanted me to see this, so I swallowed my hatred, my disgust, and my sadness for what was occurring as best I could.

Ira pulled my sister's panties down and off her legs. Since Mom hadn't allowed us to use razors, her bush was full. Ira looked at it a moment, then laughed. "Nice fro."

"Goddammit, Ira," Jackie said, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed and reaching for where Ira had tossed her underwear onto the floor.

"Babe, Babe," Ira said in a soft voice which made me gag, putting his arm over Jackie's shoulder and holding her while he patted her like a dog, "don't be like that, Babe. I'm sorry, just ... forgot about that. I like it, you know I want you ... come on, you wanted to a minute ago ... come on."

"I dunno, Ira..."

"Please ... just this once. Just let me put it in for a minute."

Jackie was quiet a moment, then growled, "fine."

He pushed her back again and was between her spread legs quickly. On his knees, he pushed down his jeans to his thighs and leaned over Jackie's body. "You're gonna love this part..." he stated through a grin.

"Uh-huh," Jackie replied, "go easy ... I've never done it before."

"I know. You'll love it. Promise."

Jackie's screech made my stomach lurch. There was pain there, hurt, surprise. Ira had pushed into her body just a second after nestling the tip of his broad, short penis in her vagina. He tore through her hymen with no concern for her discomfort. Ira grunted as he held his weight over her. "You're gonna love it," he repeated, as if my sister hadn't squeezed her eyes shut tight and her hands weren't pushing against him trying to make him slow down.

His hips pulled back and slammed forward. She screamed. "Easy, Babe ... Mom's downstairs."

"You go easy!" she said, starting to cry.

"Oh, I'll go easy ... just hold still, almost there..." He'd only been inside of her ten seconds and his movements said he was about to cum.

Jackie bit her lip and stifled her painful cries as Ira thrust three, four, five times. He grunted again and held still against her. Seconds later, he scooted back and tucked his already soft cock back into his pants. Jackie lay there a moment, legs spread, blood and semen leaking from her vagina. She was crying softly, covering her eyes with her arm. Slowly she closed her legs, but she didn't get up.

"Aww, Babe. It hurts the first time. You'll do better next time. Promise. Come on, let's go get some food."

He stood and left the room without another look back at Jackie. I watched, heartbroken, as she cried softly and then calmed herself. Slowly she sat up and collected her underwear. Jackie used them to wipe away the red mess leaking from her pussy then wadded them up and put them in her purse. I saw her pull a pad and a fresh pair of panties from within, attaching the pad to the crotch, then pulling them up to her waist, still sobbing softly.

Jackie breathed heavily and wiped her eyes, then put on lipstick and eyeliner after she stopped her tears. I watched as she stared at herself in a small mirror beside Ira's bed. I wondered what she was thinking as she saw her reflection.

I hated myself, Penelope. I hated myself.

"Oh, Jackie," I cried, tears on my cheek, "oh, Jackie ... I'm so sorry..."

Don't be. It was awful, but it kinda got better.

"Why'd you stay with him? Why'd you let him treat you like that?"

I thought I loved him. I was young, Penelope. He was my first real boyfriend. I thought that was normal, I guess. I didn't think I deserved better.

"But you were always so confident! How could you think that?"

I was good at fooling people. Even you. I thought I deserved to be treated that way. Maybe because I'd let him feel my boobs a few times, and once I'd let him touch my pussy. I liked his attention, when he gave it, and even after that first time ... I wanted to be with him. I thought I needed him.

"Jackie ... I never knew."

It's why you meant so much to me, Penelope. It's part of why I needed you. You loved me without condition, and I adored you. After Ira, being with you made me feel good again, and compared to being a sad slut for him, you made me a goddess. You were so innocent, at first, and I loved teaching you some things. I wanted your first time to be better than mine. I'm sorry it didn't work out that way...

"It's ok, Jackie. Mine wasn't nearly so bad. Not great, but nothing like that asshole."

I heard my sister's laughter for the first time in forever. It made me feel light and warm. Thanks, Penelope. You always knew how to make me feel good, you know. I love you so much, Sis.

I took a couple of deep breaths.

I think the time is right for going to Dexter. If you wait much longer, he's going to cum without you there.

"Jackie ... after seeing that..."

Now is the moment, Penelope. I showed you that to prove what you already believed. Your son and daughter deserve to do better than either of us. They deserve a first time together free from the pain and the awkwardness and full of love. Help them, Penelope. Go to your son. He is willing and wants to learn. Be his first woman, so that he can be a good first man for Kira...

"Ok," I said softly, my head clearing as I felt my sister's light touch on my shoulder. "I love you, Jackie. Don't leave me again. Please. I need you."

I'm not going anywhere, Penelope, but you have always had a strength you didn't realize, a strength to do more than cling to my skirt like you did when you were little. I could see it then, I can see it now. Stop doubting yourself. I love you.

I listened at my son's door a moment. I heard nothing from inside, but I trusted that Jackie knew what she was telling me was true. I decided to call out, "Dex?" I paused just a second. "Can we talk a moment?"

I knew I was interrupting his masturbation. I waited patiently. "Give me a second..." called my son from his room. I heard his bed squeak and the sound of a zipper being raised. He opened the door a moment later, his hair disheveled, and I could smell the hand lotion he'd been using. He hadn't thought to put on a shirt. His jean-shorts showed that his penis was still hard.

I smiled at him, nervous but resolved. I didn't think about what I was doing or what to say. It was too strange and crazy to do anything but go forward and make it up as I went. "Can we sit?" I said, sweeping my hand towards his bed.

"Uh," Dexter said, looking nervously back into his room, "my ... room's messy ... uh..."

"That's okay. Come, please." I moved past him and sat quickly on the edge of the bed. It was still warm from where he'd been laying there, masturbating, just seconds earlier.

I patted the bed and smiled again. "Sit."

Dex settled silently, looking at the floor, scratching where his short, scruffy beard had been growing for a few days without being shaved. It made him look rugged at fifteen, older, and I had to admit I found him very attractive.

It was an odd moment, sitting on my son's bed while sexual thoughts of him rushed though my head. I wasn't sure where to start.

Start by asking him about Donnie.

"What?" I said without thinking.

"Huh?" Dexter replied.

He can't hear me, Penelope. Ask him about Donnie.

"Nothing. So ... how's Donnie?"

Dexter nearly choked trying to answer. "Uh, Donnie ... he's ... he's good. Yeah, good."

"Do anything fun while you were there?"

"Uh ... not really ... not really."