Chapter 1

Free at last! I had a newly minted college diploma and enough cash to manage an unstructured summer backpacking trip through Europe. My goals were to have fun and discover what the world was like before settling into a job. I was 22, lesbian, and ready to explore! My super el-cheapo deadeye flight from California landed in Dusseldorf where I boarded a bus to Berlin for only 11 euros. Eight hours and 500 km later, I finally reached my youth hostel and collapsed.

It was my second night in Berlin that I went to a club that I had heard about, known for its techno dance scene and LGBT clientele. The club didn't disappoint; it was dark inside and loud, already thumping with the Friday night crowd by the time I arrived. I walked around the edge of the dance floor, glass of wine in hand, wearing a simple top, dancing flats, and a short skirt to show off my legs. The wine wasn't cheap (my spending allowance for the night), but at least it was a generous glass and it seemed to have quite a kick to it.

It wasn't long before a bisexual couple tried to pick me up. The woman looked intriguing, but a guy too, I don't know. I tried experimenting with bisexuality in college when my girlfriend Katie added boyfriend Eric. Looking back, I realize only Katie was the true bisexual. Eric was just a guy more than willing to get it on with two females at once. Anyway, we were a threesome for about a year before I realized I was just more comfortable with women only. Back at the Berlin club, I was polite enough to chat briefly with the couple and after a few minutes they got the hint and drifted off.

I continued to cruise the dance area, sipping my wine and trying to blend in; feeling a little self-conscious when I realized I couldn't see another woman wearing a bra. Should I try to find a ladies' room and go native? Should I try to take the lead, introduce myself to someone with my limited German? I was semi-fluent, enough to be comfortable touring the country by myself, but my vocabulary and conversation speed needed improvement. Initiating a social conversation with a stranger might be awkward.

Fortunately I was befriended by a lesbian couple before I had to try anything; an older woman I guessed in her early-thirties named Akira and her much younger partner Resi. We soon struck up a conversation in English at the quiet end of the club, talking mostly about me; how long will you be in Berlin, Carli (don't know, maybe a week), where are you staying (Die Jugendherberge, can't beat 24 euros a night), are you traveling with friends? I found the two attractive and fascinating. Both were well dressed and money didn't seem to concern them. After warning me of the club's reputation for potent liquor, they bought me a mixed drink I wanted to try and we talked about their work. I was genuinely impressed. Resi worked for an investment bank and Akira worked in the ER of Charite, one of the largest teaching hospitals in Europe. It was a bit hard to understand. The music was getting louder, and while Resi was fluent, Akira's English was on par with my German. But our body language was doing most of the talking for us. Akira and Resi were in very fit shape and I hoped they were admiring me with their eyes. I started to flirt, and the music and drinks were turning into a strong aphrodisiac. I had never been with more than one woman before. What would we be like as a female threesome? We drank and danced and Resi offered to pick up the tab at the bar again so we drank some more. I didn't realize I was getting a bit drunk.

Perhaps it was my youth speaking or the alcohol, but when Akira and Resi steered the conversation to sexuality, I boasted of my experience; telling the two in no way was I out of my league at the club, that the party was just getting started. Akira guided me into describing what I liked sexually, and at the end of my wild exaggerations she just laughed and raised her eyebrows and asked if I were really as innocent as I sounded? I told her hell no, I would try everything and anything; I was ready to party Berlin style! Really, she said, what if Berlin style meant sex with animals, what about bondage with a sex trio, was I ready for that? My alcohol mind raced and I flirted as an answer, bringing my wrists together as if handcuffed while smiling and giving a playful barking sound. I thought the mention of bondage and animals was a joke, and just the idea of these two challenging me so explicitly was getting my fantasies going. I gave it right back to them! "Sure, I've had anal sex with a Labrador! I liked it! A lot!" My claim was an extremely wild exaggeration of a single incident in my teenage years.

Yes, I wanted to play with them! Did I need do anything more to convince?! Akira turned and spoke rapidly in German near Resi's ear, I only caught a single word: Mullwagon. I thought that stood for garbage truck, wasn't sure. That didn't make sense. Then Resi suggested we go to their apartment for a break. Yes! I jumped at the chance. I knew what going home with them meant.

It was hot, dark, and drizzling when we got outside. I don't remember much of the scenery on the way home, just city lights morphing into a darker residential area. Very expensive car though, oversized BMW, looked new. Definitely not a garbage truck! Akira was driving and I was cuddling with Resi in the back. Her breath smelled faintly of liquor and her body felt wonderful, softness layered over hard muscle. She was very gentle with me; soft kisses while holding me, stroking my hair, shy hugs around my waist. Resi whispered my name in my ear. Such a beautiful smile, especially when the warmth touched her eyes. I was disarmed by her apparent gentleness and affection; willing to trust without really knowing her at all. Resi was treating me like a real human being, a friend, and I was starting to feel embarrassed by how I had acted at the club.

We got stuck in gridlock; Akira said close to where they lived, a couple of kilometers; some accident up ahead. Resi and I unclicked our seatbelts and I was soon lying face up in her lap, my legs sprawling across to the other side of the car, my skirt haphazard, maybe showing some panties, I didn't care. It was very quiet; the car shielding us from the outside noise; just the faint whoosh of the wiper-blades and AC which Akira kept running. Resi was looking down at me, smiling, caressing my face with her fingertips. I took a chance and nuzzled the underside of her breast with my nose. Resi smiled, sighed deeply and thought for a moment, then responded with her own caress across my breasts, lingering to feel each nipple harden against her palm. I didn't need any more encouragement. I buried my nose in the underside of her breast and breathed in deeply. No perfume, I thought, this is the way her body smells, her sweat from all the dancing. Such intimacy! I closed my eyes, tilted my head, and opened my mouth. Resi accepted my offer, leaning down and kissing me full on the lips before complimenting me on how sexy my legs looked. I just smiled. I had been training for months, preparing myself for hundreds of kilometers of summer hiking. Resi then asked if I could be honest about my sexual experience, and I opened up with the truth.

I was somewhat shy in high school; a varsity cheerleader who couldn't figure out the dating scene, was terrified by it. Touching all the other girls in the team lifting moves was a major thrill, but I never let on I was sexually aroused by it. It took life on college campus before I wanted to try anything. I knew Katie as a sophomore in my freshman year, and the year after that we started dating. It wasn't easy at first; Katie liked casual dating and I was just one of her many partners during her junior year. But I adored her, was infatuated with her, and I was persistent until we finally pledged to be monogamous with each other. I was the happiest woman on the planet! And then Katie shocked me in bed one night saying she wanted to try adding a boyfriend to our lovemaking, just for a few nights or so to show me what sex with males was like. She was very persistent, and I wanted to keep her so badly that I promised to give bisexuality a try.

Eric quickly became of permanent feature in our relationship. Katie and I would still make love alone; she also made love with Eric alone, and I tried to make love with Eric alone just once, the night Katie introduced us. (I felt Resi stiffen when I said this.) It was a disaster for me and I'm sure frustrating for Eric. But Katie said she really wanted to keep both of us as sexual partners and pleaded with me to try group sex. Feeling left-out and jealous of my male rival, I committed to make the attempt, and with the right positions, I was okay with it. I was best in the middle, my favorite was 69 with sweet Katie below me; and Eric would mount me doggie from above. I was okay in missionary too, with Eric between my legs and Katie in front of him. Even when she was turned around and kissing him, as long as I could play with her legs and butt, could focus on her, I was okay. I forced myself to think of Eric as my handy fuck machine that did a great job getting me off. And he probably thought the same of me. He didn't mind the role even though I insisted we always use condoms. Katie just used the pill. And then Katie and Eric moved to the East coast when they graduated a year ahead of me. Katie and I pledged to stay in close contact; visit each other whenever possible and remain lovers. It never happened.

"Ah, that must have hurt," Resi said quietly. She was caressing my forehead with her fingers, brushing back a few stray hairs. "Are you over it?"

I nodded. "It took a long time, but yeah. Eric and I never did connect much, except physically I mean. We both understood we had a shallow relationship. But Katie, I had a crush on her. I was way too old maybe to be so blind and give my heart so completely, but that's what I did. When I could finally look back and be a little objective, I saw things ... obvious things ... that our relationship ... things that I thought were kinky at the time were merely abusive ... much more abusive than playful. Seeing that made the last of the pain go away."

Resi had a deep frown on her face. "Perhaps more abusive than you realize. Tell me, was Katie pretty? As pretty as you?"

"Huh? I used to adore her; it's hard for me to be unbiased. She wasn't overweight. But she's not athletic like me. Katie didn't like to exercise and it showed."

"And how long between your commitment with Katie and the introduction of Eric?"

"Oh, I don't know. It happened pretty fast. A couple of weeks ... Maybe less. Why do you ask?"

"Katie's introduction of Eric to you. Surely she knew you were lesbian, not bi-sexual. I suspect Katie used you as bait; Eric was hot for you and Katie turned you into bait until her own relationship with Eric was secure. And then she cut her bait loose to drift with the tide."

I blinked. "From the very beginning!? That's horrible!"

"Carli, did you ever find kindness with anyone? What about your senior year?"

"Well, no. I was super busy with all the class work ... and senior thesis ... and job interviewing..." Out of nowhere I felt something break within me, the veneer of my social defenses. I had given my word to be honest. "It was just like high school again! I was lonely!" I made a strange sound, uncontrollable, halfway between a burp and hiccup. "Sorry, must be the alcohol. I'm okay. Sorry..."

Resi leaned down and sheltered me in her arms, covering my cheek with kisses. "I've lost family too," she whispered in my ear. She finally sat back up, her hand resting nicely on my tummy, and she gave me a playful smile. "So the dog was just a boast?"

"Uh, no, that really happened..." I blinked in surprise that I didn't feel embarrassed. Resi had disarmed me with her compassion. My defenses were down, and I went on to reveal a part of me that I had never allowed anyone to see.

It happened four years ago, almost to the day. I was between high school and college, at a neighbor's house weekend babysitting their Labrador Biscuit and infant son Philip for two overnights while the parents took a much needed break. I was enjoying the work; Philip was a delight and the dog very friendly. It was late June, a beastly hot weekend, but the house had AC, and after lunch and a bath with lots of playtime, Philip was in serious need of a nap. I tucked him into his crib, hung around a few minutes till he fell asleep, and headed downstairs to the couch to do some reading. The living room was cool, quiet, and very private; all the shades drawn to keep out the sun. I told Resi and Akira I could see all the details in my mind with crystal clarity. I was dressing simply; brown sandals and a white cotton sundress with tiny purple and red flowers. Biscuit was with me on the other end of the leather couch, and after reading a short while I took off my sandals and put my feet up. A moment later Biscuit starting licking my feet.

I think I gasped at how good it felt. Oh, there had been touches and hugs from friends and family through the years, but the last time my body had been noticed with intent was probably when I was getting spanked as a child. Having pleasure from continuous stimulation was an entirely new experience for me. Reading became absolutely impossible. I closed the book and my eyes, and just lay back and enjoyed.

I was breathing deeply, floating with the sensations. The dog's tongue was large and wet, and he was licking my right foot from heel to toe, even licking between my toes. After a while I thought I'd like my left foot licked too, so I moved my right leg off the couch, my foot dropping to the rug. But Biscuit had other ideas. He got off the couch and mounted my right leg, placing his forepaws awkwardly around me, pinning my sundress to the couch around my waist while lowering his genitals on my bare leg just above my knee. He then started some major-league arching of his hindquarters, driving his penis sheath up and down along my lower thigh.

I blinked at the dog in amazement; came within a second of just shooing him off, but sexual curiosity made me pause. Biscuit was a very friendly pooch. I was sure he would stop anytime I insisted. I was in a locked house, very private, shades drawn, expecting no one, Philip starting a big nap ... When would such an ideal opportunity occur again? Probably never. This might be my one chance to be a little naughty with Biscuit...

So I let him hump against my leg. It wasn't long before I felt his penis tip emerge and rub against my leg. I took a quick look around the room; still super secure. So I lifted my other leg to straddle the top of the couch and I pulled my sundress above my hips, exposing my panties. And then I just closed my eyes and waited.

Sure enough, the leg humping stopped and I felt Biscuit's furry head sniffing between my legs. Meanwhile I was playing little mind games with my morals. "I'm just stretching my legs and keeping my body still. It's not my fault if Biscuit comes and sniffs." My wildest dreams came true. His cold wet nose pushed into my panties; then an explosion of sensations: hot breath, cold nose, wet tongue, he was everywhere! Licking my thighs, my crotch through the panties, he even licked the bare spot above my panties and below my hiked-up sundress. That tickled! I sat up bolt upright and looked around the room, feeling guilty as sin. How far did I want to take this?

I skipped to the front entrance on bare feet, my sundress falling back in place, and peered through a tiny crack at the edge of a shade. The street outside was void of humanity, arch-typical suburban desert, the driveway empty. Perfect! But the key question remained. How far did I want to take this?

"Just take a step," I thought. "And if you don't like it, you'll stop. And if you do like it, ... well, you can worry about that later." I skipped back to the couch, took another look around the room, total overkill worrying about being observed, and then I stripped myself naked and then put my sundress back on. Without the bra and panties, the cotton dress felt like a soft nightgown, and I was feeling sexy, and Biscuit was bounding all around me. I jumped back on the couch, same position as before, spread my legs and lifted my sundress so high I exposed my breasts. And then I waited.

Waited for about one second. Biscuit was everywhere! His tongue was on my legs and vulva and hips and ... I was hoping he'd go back to my vulva when ... Uff! Biscuit was standing on me, one forepaw on my stomach, another pressing down on my uterus, and the crazy dog was licking my face and breasts and leaning even harder on my tummy and it was just TOO MUCH DAMN WEIGHT so I pushed him off!

Both Resi and Akira laughed heartily when I got to that part of the story. I couldn't believe I was bearing my soul to them like this, but the car seemed a magical protective cocoon where secrets could be safely shared. My head was in Resi's lap, her right hand resting on my stomach very gently, and her left hand was slowly stroking my forehead. And her eyes! She was gazing down at me and her eyes were full of laughter and compassion. No one in my life had ever looked at me like that. "So what happened next?" she asked. Before I could respond, Akira started driving and asked us to put our seatbelts back on. We were in private underground parking a few minutes later.

We went through so many layers of security, I joked about where were the retinal scanners, and then I found that their apartment was as fabulous as their car; so cool and dry, delightful after being in the weather outside; and quiet, delightful after my noisy night at the youth hostel. Resi and I began to make out on a large couch; very light and playful, no talking, just experimenting with all the different ways two hands could touch each other, fingers exploring fingers, palms, and wrists. It felt like the first movement of a courting dance. Then Akira came out of the kitchen with three small glasses, two filled with tea and one containing Berliner Weisse, a sour white beer she thought I might like to sample. So Resi and I took a break and we all sipped our drinks and chatted about the city and my summer plans. I felt both relaxed and excited, a strange feeling. I started cuddling with Resi again and she cuddled right back. Akira dimmed the lights and joined us on the couch, sitting on one end while Resi and I got horizontal, lying facing each other.

I loved kissing with Resi! Her eyes were glowing with happiness. Tips of our tongues touching and retreating, noses caressing noses, I loved the smell of her. I felt Akira taking my shoes off and glanced to watch her do it. Resi's feet were already bare. And then Resi pressed her body against mine, her hands holding me tight on my lower back and the upper curve of my butt.

Time drifted. I was floating on a wave of being slightly drunk and sexually playful, slowly building a base for deeper arousal. Akira was massaging my feet and legs, from mid thighs on downwards, wherever I was bare but not going under my skirt. She would occasionally hold my foot and kiss and lick my toes. And then she got serious; big wet laps from heel to toe, then penetrating between my toes with her tongue. I liked it! We looked at each other and grinned. "Woof!" said Akira. "Woof, woof!" I said back.

But my real focus was Resi. I opened buttons on her blouse, kissed her neck, her exposed upper breasts, no bra, one more button would reveal the nipples. Resi smiled contently, waiting for me to do it. I felt a tug on my hips. Akira was pulling my skirt off. I undid my belt and arched my hips to help her, felt the fabric slide down my legs, felt Akira's hands stroking me, from mid butt across panties and down the back of my thighs. It felt nice! Resi leaned close and kissed my throat. Then she got up, pulled Akira to stand with her and they started undressing each other. After a moment Resi coaxed Akira into dancing.

It was a private dance; very intimate choreography. In addition to undressing each other, the two were expressing in motion their sexual desires, positions offered and accepted or sometimes passed by. My heart twitched in envy. Katie and I never did anything like this; it never occurred to me to try. I began to learn what Resi and Akira liked in their lovemaking just by watching. And unexpectedly, I began to feel a little embarrassed, and it took a moment to figure out why.

What I was doing at the club, seeking a one-night stand of sexual pleasure, I knew my actions would not survive moral inspection; that I might in later life be ashamed of the choices I was making now. But Akira and especially sweet Resi didn't seem to be treating this as a one-night stand, and I couldn't figure out why. Instead, I was being offered trust and compassion, and I was at a loss how to respond. What could I give them in return?

Meanwhile in the dance, Resi had stripped Akira down to panties while Akira finished what I started with Resi's blouse. The sight of topless Resi took my breath away; pert teenage-looking breasts and a smile that was all eagerness. And their dance, so beautiful, so intimate. Resi held up one leg to the side in a classic cheerleader move, her foot above her head, and Akira spun around Resi's butt and snapped a full hip thrust into the exposed crotch. A short time later Akira performed the same leg maneuver, but in response Resi simply kissed the back of Akira's neck. They were describing their likes and dislikes in the dance, I thought. If I read the dance correctly, Resi had offered to submit to domination and Akira accepted the offer, and Akira had offered to submit to domination and Resi declined.

Resi surprised me by taking my hands and pulling me to the "dance floor". She gracefully removed my top and bra, caressed me within the dance for a moment, and then performed the high leg maneuver. Wearing nothing but panties, I kissed her neck in return, my hands around her waist while rubbing my hips gently around her ass. "I'm not sure," I whispered, just to be sure I was understood. Resi nodded and smiled.