Chapter 18: Bethany

August 1980, Milford, Ohio

I rang the bell and Bethany opened the door a few seconds later. We got in the car and I pulled out of the driveway.

“Where to, Bethany?”

“That depends. Do you want to eat or should we just go straight to making love?” she giggled.

“Let’s eat and talk, which is what you said we would do.”

“You still aren’t sure.”

“That’s right. What do you want to eat?”

“Let’s go to my dad’s country club! You’re dressed OK in slacks and polo.”

“I wondered why you had on a dress! But I want to pay.”

“Dad will never allow it. Don’t worry about it. It’s just something he wants to do for me.”

I drove to the country club and when we pulled up to the door, I reluctantly handed the keys to my baby to the way too anxious valet. Bethany was greeted by name as she had been the previous time and we were quickly shown to one of the romantic booths as we had sat in when we were at the country club before the dance. This time, though, Bethany sat close enough that our knees touched. We both ordered lemon chicken as we had that night.

“There is one difference between tonight and the last time, Steve,” Bethany giggled. “You can get lucky tonight!”

I nodded, but still kept a serious face, “We really do need to talk.”

“I know,” she agreed. “So talk.”

“You really threw me for a loop,” I said. “I need to hear from you what it is you want and what you expect.”

“I know you for who you really are. I knew that before you left. You remember Kathy’s party?”

“Yes, of course,” I replied.

“That night, you told me everything you had done. I knew you had been with quite a few girls. After that, what happened between you and me before you left for Sweden?”

“We made love,” I sighed.

“Yes. And what did I tell you that night?”

I thought back to that night over a year ago.

“You asked me to promise that we could explore the possibilities with no commitment.”

“I did. And you agreed. What else do you remember me telling you that night?”

“That if we made love then, we would see how we felt about each other when I came back.”

“Yes, and how you and Jennifer felt about each other. I know you don’t want to hear it, but things have changed between you and Jennifer. That was clear from what you said when we talked.”

“I know they’ve changed. I’m not denying it. I even told Elyse that just last night.”

“Then we can explore our relationship,” she stated.

“What do you expect from me? What are you looking for?”

“Just an exploration,” Bethany said. “I know you’re having sex with Debbie. I know you’ll visit Katt and you’ll be with her. Eventually you’ll see Karin and probably be with her. I accept those things. All those things, and a lot more, have to happen before I can have you. And yes, honestly, I think in the end, when all is said and done, we belong together. I knew it from that first date. I knew it when I asked you to help me. I knew it when we made love before you left. I know it now.

“I also know that for some reason, at least for now, you can’t be monogamous. Jennifer and I talked about that when she let you help me. We talked about it more when you were away. It’s simply who you are. Jennifer could accept it. Well, so can I. You’ve told me Joyce has a real problem with it, and that she’s hoping that you’ll change. Jennifer told me she didn’t think you would change, but she felt that she had a solution that would work to create a successful relationship.”

Our food arrived, and we started eating. As usual, the service was so good it was almost oppressive.

“And what do you think?” I inquired.

“I think that when you finally ask someone to marry you, you’ll keep your commitment. I think both Joyce and Jennifer are wrong. Let me ask you, did Birgit think you would keep your commitment?”

“Yes, she trusted me implicitly. And so does Karin.”

“Then you really only have two choices right now. The two girls who trust you implicitly.”

“Are you telling me to dump Joyce?”

“Oh no, Steve. That’s not my place. Not yet, anyway.”

“What about Katt and Elyse? And the other girls?”

“Tell me, honestly, besides me and Jennifer, who have you felt any kind of connection with?”

“Birgit, Karin, and Elyse,” I said.

“Birgit, well, I can’t compete with a ghost, but I don’t think I have to.”

“No, you don’t. Birgit will always be with me in wonderful memories, but I’ve made my peace there.”

“Good. With Karin, it’s two years from now before you see her. A lot can change in two years. I’ll worry about that then. You didn’t mention Katt, but I don’t see it lasting, either. Even though you say she’s changed, at some point either you’ll tire of providing emotional support or she’ll be so busy you can’t see her. I believe you told me that was going to happen before and I still think it’ll happen.

“As for what you euphemistically call dalliances and random deflowerings? Well, that’s just who you are. I know it and I’m going into this with my eyes wide open. I knew about those things before the first time we had sex. I’m not expecting you to be anyone other than who you are. Well, for now. I told you who I think you’ll be in the future.”

“You seem to have thought this out quite thoroughly!” I said with a smile. “What about Stephanie?”

“Didn’t you ask her what we talked about?”

“No. I felt that was between you and her. She didn’t really volunteer anything, though I think that now she sees you as a co-conspirator; someone to help her keep me from being a ‘dumb boy’.”

“She said ‘fucking idiot!’” she laughed. “Where did she come up with that?”

I chuckled, “That’s Katt’s line, though in Swedish. Stephanie got it from my journal.”

“Anyway, I really pushed hard on her about the two of you. She didn’t waver at all and insisted, quite convincingly, that she’d instigated the whole thing. She told me that if you hadn’t figured it out, then one night she would have crawled into your bed naked and, I quote, ‘made him fuck me’. So I guess my concerns were misplaced.”

“And?”

“Oh hell Steve, who am I to judge? I set out to seduce you to solve my own problem with my own ulterior motives, and I misled you about it. You never once said a thing to me about it. In fact, quite the opposite; you were more worried about me than about yourself. I’m not going to help you, but I’m not going to stand in your way, either.”

“I guess you’ve put my mind more at ease,” I sighed with a feeling of relief. “Yes, let’s explore.”

She smiled, leaned over and kissed me on the cheek and whispered in my ear, “I still have one cherry!”

“Bethany Michelle Krajick!” I chuckled. “When did you become a bad girl?”

“It’s your fault, Steve Adams. You’re the one who corrupted me by telling me about all those things!” she giggled.

“Me? You told me you would never do that!”

“I’ll tell you a secret,” Bethany said in a conspiratorial tone, “Jennifer told me just how amazing it was. She said your connection made it fantastic. We have that connection and you know it! Jennifer didn’t know that when she told me about it. And honestly, if I’m going to try anything wild, you’re the guy to try it with. Is there anything you haven’t done?”

“Well, I’ve never been with a guy and a girl. I’ve had a couple of girls suggest it, but it’s just not my thing.”

“I wonder who I could get to join us?” she giggled.

“Just calm down a bit, young lady! You could very easily get out of control and do things you don’t want to do. Let me tell you about Annie.”

I told her the story of what had happened in Sweden with Annie. She listened without interrupting.

“Afterwards, did you feel like you had raped her?”

“I’m not sure,” I replied “but maybe that’s the feeling I had, though I was sure that she had consented.”

“Well, no, that’s probably not the case. I don’t think that she consented. What happened was that she didn’t object. Those are two very, very different things. It’s something you need to watch out for. You can very easily take a young girl someplace she doesn’t want to go if you aren’t careful. You are that talented. Think about it. Take it from me; you need to always be sure. Always. And that means that if you haven’t discussed it, you ask. Do you hear me?”

“Yes, I hear you. I need to tell you about Kim, then.”

I explained what had happened with Kim Smith. She listened as she had before.

“There’s an important difference between that and Annie. You told Kim that it got even better and she asked you to show her. That was clearly consent. Sure, it wasn’t a direct ‘Is it OK to fuck you?’ with a clear ‘Yes!’ but when you offered to show her how much better it got, you had consent to proceed. Not to mention her begging you to actually do it later on!”

“The reason I brought it up is that you mentioned taking a young girl someplace she didn’t want to go.”

“I did. But it sounds like in this case you had an agreement to make out and she asked you to continue, and at the two important points, you had clear consent. With Annie, you never even talked about it. You kissed her, got her worked up and she let you do it. Those two girls are perfect examples of the right way and the wrong way, Steve. Remember that.”

“I will.”

We finished eating and Bethany signed the bill. Once again, I didn’t get to see what it cost. I didn’t bother asking because I was sure she wouldn’t tell me.

“You need to tip the valet $5.00 when he brings you your car,” Bethany whispered as we walked out.

I pulled out my wallet and took out five singles, and handed them to the valet after he opened the door for Bethany.

“Where to?” I asked as I put the car into gear and drove down the long driveway towards the street.

“Believe it or not, I want you to take me home.”

“What?!” I asked in surprise. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Not at all! You did everything right. But you aren’t ready for this yet. You still need to think about it. Remember, I know you pretty well. If you don’t think about it before we get into bed, it’ll drive you nuts for weeks. That’s something you have to work on.”

I turned the car towards Milford.

“Stephanie told you about my tendency to obsess about things, didn’t she?”

“She might have!” Bethany giggled.

“You two are already conspiring against me! And how, pray tell, will you know when I’m OK with all of this?”

“When you can take my last cherry and be happy about doing it,” she said, as if it were the most obvious thing. “Your reaction to my whispering that in your ear told me everything I needed to know. I can read you like an open book, in case you haven’t noticed.”

The connection. She was doing the same damned thing Jennifer used to do to me all the time. It was different, though. Where Jennifer was direct and blunt, Bethany was subtle. I much preferred Bethany’s approach.

“Yes, I noticed. Whatever this connection we have is, it makes it easier for us to understand each other.”

“It’s pretty clear what it is. It’s being in tune with each other emotionally and really understanding the other person. Think about everything we’ve talked about over the past two years, everything we’ve experienced. We know each other really, really well. That’s all it is. It’s not magical or mystical or anything like that. You and Stephanie have it, and that is exactly why you two feel that you need to break the societal taboo on incest. Ed and I have something like it, but it’s not that strong, not even close. I’d be scared to death if it was.”

“I was scared to death when Melanie first told me what Stephanie wanted. Scared out of my mind. It took a lot to get past that and overcome the taboo.”

“I think you and Stephanie got as close as you did because you were both looking for exactly the same thing. You are both strong, independent kids who couldn’t stand the control your mom was exerting, and you teamed up to protect yourselves. It might not even have been conscious on your part.”

“It was on Stephanie’s. She’s been looking out for me since she was seven.”

“Trying to help you avoid your mom’s control, as well as her wrath.”

“Yes.”

“So you developed that extra strong emotional bond, one that’s usually reserved for husband and wife, or maybe identical twins.”

“How did you get to be so smart, Bethany?” I asked.

“I’ve spent three years with Doctor Mercer, as you know. And I read a lot of psychology books. You’ll find out soon enough I read lots of other books, too! I’m pretty sure I want to be a psychologist. That’s what I’ll probably study in college.”

I let the ‘books’ comment go and asked, “Do you know where you want to go yet?”

“I’m going to apply to a bunch of schools in the Midwest, probably University of Illinois, Northwestern, University of Wisconsin, University of Iowa. What about you?”

“Far enough away from home that my mom can’t bother me. I’ve discussed with Elyse and Jennifer schools in the greater Chicago area because we all want to be in the same city. Isn’t Northwestern in Chicago?”

“Evanston, but that’s a suburb to the north. It would be cool if a bunch of us went to school in the same area, or at least close enough to visit.”

“You know the risks of Jennifer and me being at the same school or close?”

“I do. I don’t think it’s really a risk, Steve. And I honestly don’t think Elyse is a risk. Oh, you might have sex with both of them, even a lot of sex, but I don’t think you’ll end up with either of them. It’s me or Karin. It could be some unknown person you haven’t met, but I don’t think so.”

“How do you know this?”

“Women’s intuition!” she giggled.

“Wait! You give me an hour’s worth of free psychological analysis and your answer is intuition?”

“Yes!” she giggled.

I laughed and shook my head. Girls could be so silly.

When we got to Bethany’s house, I walked her to the door. I pulled her into a tight hug and we touched our lips together and I tasted peaches. She parted hers, so I pressed my tongue gently into her mouth. Our hug grew tighter as our tongues danced with each other. Bethany broke the kiss, and we both took deep breaths.

“If you thought sex with me was good before, just wait,” she said softly.