Chapter 17: Senior Year Begins

August 1980, Milford, Ohio

On Monday morning, Stephanie and I got up early enough to swim and eat breakfast together. Stephanie was starting eighth grade, so she’d be riding Bus #8 with me. Unfortunately, Jeff was also on the same bus, but I didn’t really worry to much about that because of what I planned to do. My first order of business, when I got to school, would be to get a parking pass which Seniors could get automatically just by asking. I also knew that Mom would then insist that I give Jeff a ride, so I was going to make sure that I offered Debbie and Mary rides to school. I cleared that plan with Dad before we walked out to the bus.

The bus stopped right at our driveway, and usually Debbie C and Donna would get on the bus with us, then on the way back out of the street we’d stop and pick up Debbie V and her sister Tracy. Donna wasn’t there, because they had moved. Debbie C wasn’t there either, but that was because she was due any day, I guessed she was going to wait until after the baby was born to actually go to school. I decided I’d check on her that afternoon and see if I could bring her schoolwork, much as I had helped Melanie when she had been hurt.

When Debbie V and Mary got on at their houses, I asked them about riding with me. Both of them immediately said yes and couldn’t wait to see the car. Mary teased me, of course.

“That back seat would be kind of cramped to fool around in!” she said with an impish grin.

“I prefer beds, Mary, you know that! Or at the very least, blankets on the floor in your basement!”

Debbie V’s eyes grew wide, “You two? I had no idea!”

“Well, we used to. He’s touchy about the fact that I have a steady boyfriend,” Mary teased.

“He should be, Mary!” Stephanie chimed in.

“Hi, Steve!” Cindy said with a big smile.

“Hey, Cindy, how are things going?”

“Great! You should stop by sometime!”

I let that comment go. We arrived at school and I got off the bus at the High School along with Jeff, Mary, Debbie, and Cindy. Stephanie and Tracy stayed on for the short ride to the Junior High. Almost as soon as I stepped off the bus, Kellie Linden ran up to me.

“Steve! Hi! You’re back!”

“Hi, Kellie, how are you?”

“Good! I’ll see you at lunch and you can tell me all about Sweden!”

“See you at lunch,” I replied without much enthusiasm.

I still had no interest in Kellie and even if I had, she hadn’t been that much fun. I’d much rather be with Debbie V or Erin than Kellie.

I walked right to the office and filled out the short form for a parking pass. I handed it in and a minute later I had a sticker to put on my window. I went and found my locker. This year it was #102 and there was a short brunette by locker #101, and of course, Tim Abbott had locker #100.

I was pleased to see that my homeroom for the year was with Mr. Herbers, who taught the computer classes and ran the computer lab. As I was walking to his room, Miss Barkhurst, the biology teacher, stopped me in the hall.

“Steve, would you be willing to be a student aide for biology during your study hall period?”

I had been surprised that my schedule included study hall despite taking both junior and Senior English as well as both chemistry and physics. My original plan had been to be in the computer lab, but on the spur-of-the-moment I decided that I didn’t really need the extra computer time.

“Sure Miss Barkhurst. I have my study hall fourth period, the first two quarters, and fifth period for the rest of the year.”

She said she’d let the office know and that I should come to her classroom starting the next day. I said that I’d see her then and continued down the hall to Mr. Herbers’ room.

“Welcome back, Steve!” Mr. Herbers said.

“Hi, Mr. Herbers. Do you think I could get a key to the computer lab again this year?”

“On one condition,” he said with a grin.

“And that is?”

“I want you to help teach the introductory class at the Junior High after school on Tuesdays.”

That was the perfect day because the chess team schedule showed most of the meets on Wednesdays.

“Of course,” I said. “I’d be happy to!”

I took my seat and realized that it was going to be a very busy year. Somewhere along the way I’d need to investigate colleges, I’d need to take the SAT and ACT tests, visit colleges, work with Beth and find some time for homework. And girls, of course! The bell rang and the school year began.

At lunch, I saw Larry sitting at the same table we had used during our Sophomore year. There was a spot open next to him that he pointed me to. Brent, Ralph, Mary, and Cindy were already at the table. A few minutes later, Kathy and Kellie came in and sat down. It looked like Beth, Bethany, Erin, and Debbie V weren’t on this lunch. I was bombarded with questions and had to make sure I took bites of my lunch so that I could actually finish it!

Larry reminded me that I needed to show up to the first chess club meeting on Wednesday so that I could meet the team and the new coach, and make sure I had all the information I needed. I promised I’d be there. I asked him about the last spot on the team and he said that they probably would end up with a Freshman on the team, most likely a kid named Bill Watt.

As all of us were heading back to class, Erin pulled me aside and asked if I had my driving license and if I did, when we could go out. I told her I’d talk to her later in the week. I still hadn’t decided exactly how to handle Erin. What I didn’t want was another situation like I had just experienced with Bethany.

I saw Bethany in German class and because Mr. Grathwohl allowed us to choose our seats, we sat next to each other in the front row. I had heard lots of good things about Fritz Grathwohl, and they all appeared to be true. He joked with the class and his first order of business was to get everyone to join the German club. He handed out a list of activities and I could see that his reputation was warranted. In addition to the usual get-togethers, he had a trip to the International Folk Festival in Cincinnati, a dinner at a German restaurant, and a ski trip in Michigan during Christmas break.

I checked the dates and the trip would be from the 26th through the 28th of December. It didn’t conflict with Katt’s skating competition in Columbus, which was good. Of course, I needed to talk to Jennifer to find out what her plans were for Christmas break. Despite the cost and the distance, I was determined to go, if at all possible. I’d find out from Jennifer on Sunday what her parents had to say.

Bethany leaned over and whispered, “Let’s room together on the ski trip!” with a smirk.

“Bethany! I thought we had an agreement! And Mr. Grathwohl is unlikely to allow it!” I chuckled.

She just smiled at me. I wondered if she could actually keep her promise to behave. I’d have to talk to her about this at some point. Hopefully, she was just teasing. There were too many complications because of her feelings for me.

When I arrived home, I went to Dad’s office and let him know that I had the parking pass and would be driving to school. I also let him know that I had offered rides to Debbie and Mary as I had said I would, and that I’d take Stephanie with me as well. Mom’s reaction did not surprise me.

“If you can give Stephanie a ride, then you need to give Jeff a ride as well.”

“Mom, I already cleared all of this with Dad. It’s my car, so it’s my decision.”

“Then your sister may not ride with you.”

“Take it up with Dad. I’m not arguing with you, Mom.”

I turned and left the room and shut the door behind me. I didn’t want to hear it, and I certainly didn’t want Stephanie to hear it. I’d worry about the fallout once they had discussed it. At dinner, the solution to the problem came from an unexpected direction. When Mom raised the issue, Jeff said he didn’t want to ride with me. Mom looked daggers at him, but Dad smiled. I guessed what had happened — Dad had talked to Jeff and neatly cut the Gordian knot.

After dinner I decided that I needed to have the talk with Bethany sooner rather than later, so I called to see if she wanted to get some ice cream. She quickly agreed. I told Dad I’d be gone for about an hour, then got in my car and drove to pick up Bethany and take her to Graeter’s where we each ordered sundaes.

“Steve,” Bethany asked with a smirk, “do you want my cherry?”

“Bethany! I thought we had an agreement,” I said, repeating what I had said in German class.

“I’m sorry. But let me ask you a question, OK? It’s something I should have brought up the other day.”

“Of course.”

“Did you still feel that same electric feeling when we had sex?”

“Not the most recent one, no. But the other times, yes.”

“Don’t count the recent one. Neither of us was thinking clearly. That was just kind of raw sex.”

“Please don’t beat around the bush,” I requested. “What are you trying to say?”

“I want to do an experiment.”

“What kind of experiment?”

“I want you to give me a soft, sexy kiss. Just one. I want to see what happens. You have to be totally honest with me about it.”

I knew what she was going for at that point. She knew that if I felt a connection with her, that I’d have to reconsider my decision. The problem was, nothing else had changed, nor would it likely change.

“Bethany, what do you think that will accomplish? I know what you think will happen, but don’t we still have the same issues? That you want someone totally devoted to you and I can’t do that.”

“Isn’t that what Joyce and Elyse both want, too? Isn’t that why they are taking it slow with you? We talked about that. It’s what made me think this through and why I teased you earlier.”

She had a point. But she wasn’t taking it slowly at all. That was the difference.

“There is a big difference, actually. I’m not having sex with either of them. It’s not clear if or when that will happen. That’s taking it slow. You, on the other hand, want to take it quickly. And I’m still afraid that you’re putting too much faith in things working out the way you want them to.”

“Steve, would you just shut up and kiss me like I asked? If nothing special happens, then this discussion is moot.”

I realized that she wasn’t going to let this go and, honestly, the thought about the connection had given me pause the other day. I had one more bolt to fire. I was going to go against what Stephanie had advised me and tell Bethany about us.

“Let’s finish our ice cream. I have something I need to tell you, but it needs to be in private. If after that you still want to kiss, I’ll kiss you like you asked.”

We finished our sundaes and walked out to the car and I pulled out of the lot. I didn’t head home, but drove down Route 50 so we could talk.

“Bethany, there’s something really important about me that you need to know, and I’m afraid it might shock you.”

“What? What could possibly be as bad as what I told you on our very first date?”

“Stephanie and I are emotionally, romantically, and,” I paused briefly, “physically attracted to each other.”

Bethany gasped, and I saw a look of shock on her face, but then she composed herself.

“From the way you two act around each other, it’s pretty obvious, now that I think about it. But I’m surprised to hear you admit it,” she said. Then, as the thought formed in her mind, she reeled again, surprised, “Wait! You’re actually going to act on that attraction? Oh my God, Steve!”

“It’s something that Stephanie has apparently wanted since she was seven,” I said slowly. “I had never realized it until Jennifer and Melanie told me about it once they had figured it out. I had been clueless about my own attraction to her, thinking it was just intense sibling love. I was as shocked when they told me, as you are now. After long, careful thought, I’ve come to terms with it and I’m comfortable with it.”

“OK,” Bethany said, speaking slowly. “That’s at least as bad as what I told you after the dance, but in some ways, it’s far worse. I don’t even know what to say.”

“Which is why I had to tell you now, before anything else happens.”

“Doctor Mercer deals with incest as well, Steve. Have you talked to her about this? I know one girl who she treats that had sex with her brother and has serious problems because of it.”

“No, I haven’t, and I don’t plan to. I don’t think either of us has any problems with this. And it’s not an accidental thing nor is it a spur-of-the-moment thing. Stephanie and I talked about it before I left for Sweden. From the time I knew until the time it happens, it will be two years or so.”

Bethany sat quietly as I drove. I made a turn that would take us back towards Milford and waited for her to think things through. My stomach was queasy. What would happen if Bethany said nothing else and then told someone? Would they come after me? Would they separate us?

As we got closer to her house, I wondered if I should keep driving or simply take her home. I decided the best thing to do was take her home. I only had about ten minutes left in the hour I had promised dad. I pulled into Bethany’s driveway and stopped. She hadn’t spoken, so I figured I had to say something.

“Bethany, do you still want that kiss?”

“No, not right now. I need to talk to your sister first. I’m afraid that she doesn’t really understand what she’s doing.”

“Rape,” I said evenly.

“Yes. That’s exactly my concern. I’m not surprised you got that immediately because you know my history. Drive me to your house.”

It was an order, not a request. I backed out of the driveway and drove the five minutes to my house. Bethany came in with me and we found Stephanie in her room, reading.

“Stephanie, come take a walk with me,” Bethany said softly, but with determination. Again, it was an order, not a request.