Chapter 11: Truth and Consequences, Part I

July 1980, Milford, Ohio

On Saturday morning, Jennifer took me home after breakfast. We planned to go out that evening for dinner and a movie. I kissed her goodbye in the car, then got out, waving as she drove away.

My bubble of happiness was quickly burst as I walked inside and my mom was waiting there, anger in her face.

“Stephen, I can’t believe your father allows this immorality! And what’s worse, that those girls’ parents allow it!”

“Mom,” I said carefully, trying to keep my temper in check, “Can we just agree that we completely disagree on this point and that neither of us is going to change the other one’s mind? It’ll make life much easier for both of us.”

“You would like that, wouldn’t you? Free to do as you please, be as immoral as you please, engage in all that deviant behavior as you please!”

“I don’t think it’s immoral. Nobody is doing anything they don’t want to do. I know what you believe. I don’t believe the same things. Nothing is going to change that.”

“I’ll be happy when that little hussy moves.”

“Someday she’s probably going to be your daughter-in-law and the mother of your grandchildren. If you ever want to see them, you’re going to have to accept reality.”

“I will not have that!”

I broke out laughing uncontrollably at that point. Was my mom actually thinking that she was going to decide who I could marry?! The mind boggled.

“Sure Mom, sure,” I said when I finally got control of myself. “You let me know which girl I should marry. I do wonder how you propose to find out if they are virginal and have never so much as thought about sex in their entire lives, because that appears to be your standard. Of course, that’s a standard that you yourself couldn’t meet.”

“Do not talk to me like that, Stephen!”

“Fine. Do you have anything else to say?”

“You are impossible!” she said and turned on her heels and stormed off. I figured she was going to find Dad, but I was sure I hadn’t said anything that would warrant punishment. I wondered if I could manage to move out the day after my eighteenth birthday.

As I walked down the hall to my room, I saw Stephanie standing just outside the door that led into the living room and foyer.

“Jennifer is a hussy?” she smirked. “If mom only knew!”

“Don’t even get me started Miss ‘I-want-to-have-sex-with-my-brother’s-hot-girlfriend’!” I chuckled.

Stephanie gasped and her eyes went wide. I walked down the hall to my room and she followed.

“Did Jennifer tell you that?” she asked, blushing.

“No, Squirt. I figured it out myself. She told me about something that happened before she met me and I put it together immediately. Remember, you told me that if I did it with Melanie or Jennifer, you wanted to do it. I wasn’t sure who the other girl was, but I figured it out. I’m sure the only reason it hasn’t happened is that you don’t want anyone, boy or girl, to touch you that way before I do.”

“You’re right, Big Brother,” she said softly. “Are you OK with that?”

“Yes. I asked Jennifer if I could watch!” I chuckled.

“We want you to! And we want you to participate!” she said.

“I know,” I replied with a grin. “She told me! It’s not just OK, I’m looking forward to it!”

“Well, so much for THAT surprise,” she giggled, “though obviously it has to wait, given she’s going to be in Seattle. But I have another one.”

I groaned, “I’m think I’m going to have to talk to Dad about meeting with Larry Walsh.”

“His attorney?”

“Yeah, I need a will!” I grinned.

“Only within an inch of your life, Steve, not to death!”

“Did you swim, Squirt?”

“No. Let me get my swimsuit on and I’ll meet you in the pool.”

When I shut the door, I saw a message on my desk that Kathy Will had called. I was happy to see that. Stephanie and I swam our laps and, after dressing, she came to my room.

“Is everything OK with Jennifer?”

“Yes, everything is good. She really got on my case and pointed out my many problems. But the make-up sex was out of this world!”

“I bet! And don’t worry, I’m here to keep an eye on you for her!”

“Gee, thanks. My own personal Gestapo!”

“Somebody has to stop you from being a fucking idiot!”

I sighed, “I know, I know.”

“And Pete and Melanie?”

“That’s good as well. Melanie asked Pete and me to take a sauna with her,” I smirked.

“Oh my God! You did it? Really?! You gave Melanie her threesome? And Pete went along with it? Wow!”

For a moment, I thought about teasing her with a made-up story, but I chuckled, thinking that I was too young to be the main attraction at a funeral.

“No,” I said, with a wide grin. “Pete and I both told her to calm down.”

She smacked me on the shoulder, “You had me there for a minute!”

“I don’t think that will ever happen. I just don’t see Pete agreeing and even if he did, I think it’s a bad idea. It might wreck their relationship.”

“Well, you aren’t as dumb as I thought you were.”

“Gee, thanks,” I said sarcastically.

She stuck her tongue out at me.

“You know exactly where I want to see that now!”

“And where I want yours!” she giggled and walked out of the room.

I had some phone calls to make, but I decided to make a couple of extra ones. I called Pia first and was pleased to find her home. She was very happy to hear from me and we spoke for about ten minutes, though she didn’t have much new to say. Johan was on vacation in Greece, so she wouldn’t know what was going on with him until he returned home. At the end of the call, we each said “I love you” in Swedish, but it was clearly not meant romantically. We both realized that the most likely future for us was as very good friends.

I called Sofia next and again was happy to find her home. She was surprised by my call and worried about the cost. I told her that we’d keep it to less than ten minutes and that would be fine. She told me that she and Jöran had broken up because she realized that she didn’t want to make love with him after spending the weekend at his parents’ cottage. I expressed my concern, but she said she was happy with her decision and that she had met a guy at the ice rink that she was going to go out with. We also told each other that we loved each other, again, as best friends separated by distance, not as lovers.

My final extra call was to Katt. She wasn’t home, but Inger said that Katt was really looking forward to my visit and that Katt would call me back later.

I called Elyse and let her know that I really needed to work things out with Jennifer for the next two weeks, but that I’d love to see her after that. She was completely understanding, and we agreed on a date on the Saturday after Jennifer left. As before, she would pick me up and we’d go to dinner and a movie. She made a point of reminding me that we were taking things slowly and I told her that I did remember.

Those were the easy calls. I would wait the week that Joyce had suggested because I was very curious about what conclusion she would come to. I decided that I should talk to the rest of them face-to-face, which meant getting together. But first, I’d call Kathy. I picked up the phone and dialed her number.

“Hi, Kathy!”

“Hi, Steve! I’m sorry I didn’t return your calls. I’ve been really busy. I should have done it sooner, I know.”

“It’s OK. I’ve been busy too, trying to reconnect with people and arrange for drivers ed, and I had to talk to my old boss about my job and a bunch of other stuff.”

“So why did you call?” she asked hopefully.

“To see if you would like to go on a date, of course.”

“You know that I would! I really liked our date before you left, and I told you I liked you.”

“You don’t have a boyfriend, do you?”

“No. I realized I was making a mess of my life and was lucky I didn’t have a bad reputation like Janet used to. I dated, but I was a lot more selective about the guys I went out with and what I did with them. What about you and Jennifer?”

“She’s moving to Seattle in two weeks.”

“So you won’t be steady with her this year?” she said with a bit too much cheer in her voice.

“No, I won’t. And yes, that means I can date. But, and I want to be clear, she’s still in the picture long-term.”

“I understand. But you don’t have any commitment to her or anyone else, right?”

“That’s right. Please don’t get the wrong idea, though. At this point, it’s just a date.”

“I’m not asking for your class ring or anything! Let’s go on our date and take it from there.”

“Perfect. How about the 15th? That’s the Friday after Jennifer leaves. I won’t be able to drive by then, so you’ll need to drive.”

“See you at 5:00pm on the 15th,” she said brightly.

I had just chosen my two girls. That meant that anyone else would have to be no more than a dalliance if I were to follow what Jennifer and Stephanie were telling me. Bethany was going to be tough to handle, Anna would likely be angry enough to not see me again, and I didn’t know for sure how Erin would react. At least, I thought I was pretty sure about Debbie V.

I went to find Dad and let him know I was going out on my bike for a bit and that Jennifer and I would be going to dinner. Nothing was said about my conversation with Mom, so I assumed I was in good shape with Dad. I also let him know I was seeing Doctor Mercer on Monday morning and he was happy about that.

I also asked him about a going away party for Jennifer that I wanted to have on August 8th. I told him it would just be Jennifer, Pete, Melanie, Larry, Bethany, Stephanie, and me. And when the party was done, I’d go back to Jennifer’s house with her to spend the night. He gave approval for the party and reminded me that Mom would likely have something to say about me staying at Jennifer’s. I let him know I didn’t really care.

I got my bike from the garage and turned right on the street when I got out of the driveway. I decided that Donna needed a friend and there wasn’t much time before she moved. I parked my bike and knocked on the door. Leah answered and called Donna, who came out to the porch. She gave me the best hug she could with her belly sticking out, and I kissed her gently on the cheek. We sat down on the swing, holding hands.

“I thought I’d come say ‘Hi’ again. I know you’re moving soon, but I wanted to make sure you knew I was thinking about you.”

“Thanks. How is Stephanie?”

“Fine. I really let my mom have it for her stopping Stephanie from seeing you. I even managed to get grounded for three days for telling my mom to shove her morals!”

“You got grounded? For me?”

“Yes, I did. The way people are treating you is just stupid. It really bugs me.”

“Thank you,” she said, and kissed me softly on the cheek. “You’ve always treated me nice, even now. If you wanted to ‘reconnect’ again, I think I could manage!” she said softly, with a hopeful smile.

“No, I think that had to be a one-time thing. I’m sorry,” I said with some sadness. I gave her hands a squeeze and released them.

“Don’t be! It made me feel so special that you were willing to do that with me. I’ll never forget!”

“You’re moving next week, right?”

“Yes, on Thursday. A bit sooner than we planned.”

“Well, I’m not sure I’ll see you before then, so I guess I’ll say goodbye to you when I leave today.”

We talked for another twenty minutes and I got up to leave. She hugged me and I bent down and gave her the softest, gentlest kiss I could.

“Take care, Donna.”

“Take care, Steve, and thanks for everything you’ve been to me!”

We hugged again, and I got on my bike and pedaled up the street, past my house and to Debbie V’s house. I rang the bell and Mrs. Vaughn opened the door.

“Debbie’s not home right now, Steve, but you could come in if you wanted to. I’d love to talk to you!”

“Sorry, Mrs. Vaughn, I really prefer girls around my own age.”

“Are you sure about that, Steve? Older women know a lot more.”

“Mrs. Vaughn, not to be rude, but I’ve pretty much done everything you can imagine. I’m not kidding about that. I’ve done really wild stuff and all with girls between fourteen and eighteen. Remember, I spent a year in Sweden, too. And from what Debbie tells me, she’s told you just how good I am.”

She just stared at me for a moment.

“Tell Debbie I stopped by, please,” I said and got back on my bike to pedal home.

I decided to call Bethany and Erin. I could probably make lunch dates with them and talk with them about the decisions. I was able to make lunch dates with them like I wanted — Bethany on Monday and Erin on Tuesday. My last call was to Anna.

“Steve! I want to see you soon! And you know why!” she giggled.

With that greeting, I figured I’d better say something now.

“We need to talk first,” I said.

“That never means anything good,” her voice suddenly frosty.

“I have to confess something to you. I had wanted to do it face to face, but after you greeted me the way you did, it’s better if I tell you now.”

“What?” she said equally coldly.

“When I went out with you, I was reeling from a bad breakup with Jennifer. I basically decided I was going to screw every girl I could to spite Jennifer. It was a huge mistake. I reconciled with Jennifer and I realized what I had done to you.”

“So I was just a casual fuck to get back at your girlfriend?”

“Yes. I’m sorry. I hope you’ll forgive me.”

“I’m not sure I can. But I am absolutely sure I don’t want to see you again. Goodbye.”

She hung up without waiting for my response.

“Well, that went well,” I said aloud to nobody as I replaced the receiver.

“Just as well, Steve,” Stephanie said from the doorway of my room.

“How long were you listening, Squirt?”

“You had your door open. I heard you tell Anna you needed to confess! I’d say you’re doing the right thing. Did she hang up on you?”

“Yes.”

“It’s no great loss.”

“I still feel bad for what I did.”

“And that’s a good thing!” she said reassuringly.

“Jennifer is coming over later. You’re welcome to hang out with us and if she’s OK with it, you could go out to dinner with us.”

“Spending the night at her house again tonight?”

“Probably not. I don’t want to overstay my welcome with the Blocks. It’s not like Jennifer and I don’t have a place to make love!”

“True. Let me go ask Dad if I can go.”

She went to find Dad and was back a couple of minutes later.

“Dad said ‘OK’. Good thing Mom wasn’t around. Can I ask you about some stuff in your journal, Steve?”

“Sure, Squirt, what do you want to know.”