Chapter 10: Who is Jennifer Block?

July 1980, Milford, Ohio

When we arrived at Jennifer’s house, her mom was home. She greeted me, but Jennifer dragged me to the basement before a conversation could start. We sat on the couch.

“So you want to know who I am?” she asked.

“Yes, I do. Everything. Get it all out on the table, whatever it is.”

She sat quietly for several minutes, just looking at me, as if she was evaluating me. She was clearly trying to decide what to say and how to say it. I wasn’t going to rush her because I couldn’t imagine anything she could tell me that would destroy my love for her.

She sighed, “Melanie wasn’t the first girl I had sex with.”

I burst out laughing. I couldn’t help it. Jennifer had a horribly shocked look on her face.

“Jennifer Lynn Block! As if you had to hide that from me. You know I don’t care about that. Well, unless you like girls better than guys.” I held back a chuckle with a questioning look.

She wiped a single tear from her cheek.

“No, I don’t. I thought you might be upset, though, because it was before we first made love.”

I had a flash of revelation. Several seemingly unrelated things made sense now.

“Why would that upset me? Wouldn’t the fact that you and Stephanie are going to have sex after she and I do be more likely to upset me?”

“God damm it, Steve!” Jennifer giggled.

“Shoe’s on the other foot now, Jennifer Lynn.”

“How did you figure it out?”

“What you just told me made all the pieces fall into place. Both of you are talking about a threesome with me. Stephanie said that she and I were going to do everything that you and Melanie did. The closeness between you two and Stephanie’s concern that you and I would break up. Your freak out with Melanie before she tried to kill herself. The way you and Melanie made love. I totally missed how it all fit together. I only have one question, Jennifer.”

“Can you watch?” she giggled.

“Hell yes!” I said. “Watching you and Melanie was hot. Watching you and Stephanie would be out of this world.”

“We WANT you to watch! And participate. I’m not sure now when it can happen because I won’t be here during Spring Break.”

“Will you tell me who it was? You don’t have to, but I’m curious.”

“It was during 7th Grade, before I even knew you. It was Chris Jones. It lasted almost the whole school year. I was only experimenting, but she fell in love with me. It ended very badly.”

“Does anyone know about this?”

“Chris, me, and her mom. That’s who she went to when I told her I liked boys and didn’t love her. She told me she hated me and that I was evil for leading her on. But I didn’t even know that there were girls who liked girls and not boys. That’s why I understand Larry.”

“Wait, Larry likes guys? It’s not just that he doesn’t like girls?”

“Your best guy friend is gay and you have no clue? You really ARE dense!”

“No, Jennifer, I don’t think I’m dense at all. Think about it for a minute.”

“Oh! You just don’t care! I’m sorry Steve, I really am. You aren’t dense; you’re really, really smart! That’s why you didn’t freak out about me and Melanie, or about what you found out today. You accept people for how they are and don’t treat them differently if they are not like everyone else. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you all this before.”

I had another thought. I didn’t think it was possible, but I had to ask. “Have you and Stephanie done anything?”

“No!” she said forcefully. “You have to be her first everything. Her first kiss, her first touch, her first penetration.”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to upset you. Any other major revelations for me?”

“No,” she giggled. “I do have some friends you aren’t aware of.”

“Why didn’t you invite them to our lunch table? Why keep them secret?”

“Because they wouldn’t fit in to our group. And some of them don’t go to Milford.”

“What makes you say that they won’t fit in? Our group is about as accepting as can be. The only issue was when the supposed Junior Class slut joined us and it turned out she wasn’t what everyone thought! Everyone accepted her once they actually got to know her. She and Ralph even dated for a while.”

“Our group is pretty intimidating. Everyone is a great student, is super smart, and is into chess or computers. And you, Steve Adams, have a reputation for being irresistible. Some girls are afraid to be within ten feet of you.”

“What?!”

“Name one girl who didn’t have sex with you when you asked them to or indicated that you wanted to. Just one.”

“I can’t.”

“Exactly! Some girls want to keep their hymen intact, and you, Sir, shred them like Archie Griffin did defenses when he was at Ohio State!”

“I wonder if they have an award for deflowering girls like the Heisman?” I chuckled.

“You’d have won that for ninth and tenth grade, and you got a few in Sweden, too. I suspect you’ll get more this year.”

“Oh? Is there something you know?”

“Your reputation as the guy to go to for an amazing first time is still intact. There’s a whole new crop of sophomores, Freshmen and eighth graders who are available.”

“I thought you wanted me to cut back!”

“No, that’s not what I said. I said you should go back to how it was before when you were careful to not lead anyone on.”

I thought about that for a moment, then looked at her, smiling. “We’re getting off topic here.”

“Well, you know I play chess and that I get good grades. Now you know I’ve had sex with Chris Jones, that I want to have sex with your sister eventually, and that I have some friends who are intimidated by our group or by you. There isn’t much more to tell.”

“What do you want to be when you graduate from college?”

“An Engineer. I’m not totally sure what kind yet. I love math, chemistry, and physics. But right now, I’d say an electrical engineer. I have a year to figure that out for sure.”

“Could you get a scholarship from Boeing if you studied aeronautical engineering?”

“They have a bunch of general scholarships that I can apply for just because dad works there.”

“Cool!”

“How are you paying for school?”

I decided this was one place to follow Joyce’s advice. Jennifer did not need to know that I was sure that Don Joseph would pay for my college if I asked him to.

“Well, my dad would certainly pay for it, but I don’t want the hassle that will cause with my mom. I want a clean break. So I’ll earn money from my programming. I can probably get some scholarships, too. I’m going to study computers and that’s really an up-and-coming thing. You keep turning this back to me!”

“Sorry, but I just don’t have much else to tell you.”

“Can I ask you something, Jen?”

“Sure. Anything.”

“Would you have sex with a girl while you are away from me?”

“I don’t know. I’ve only ever been attracted to Melanie and Stephanie, and in both cases, you are part of the package. Like I said, Chris was experimentation, and I wasn’t so much attracted to her as I was curious. Does that make sense?”

“It makes sense to me.”

“I guess I might if I met the right girl in the right circumstance. It would certainly scratch the itch without me breaking my promise to myself that I not have sex with any guy but you. But I’d have to make it clear that I was planning to marry you, of course.”

“Of course. Stephanie won’t have it any other way!” I chuckled.

“No, she won’t.” Jennifer laughed, shaking her head.

“Was that the other girl you would bring to bed from time to time?”

“Maybe!” she giggled.

“Damn! The two of you have this all mapped out. What about Stephanie getting married and having kids of her own?”

“Oh, some day she will. But until then, she’ll always be available to you, no matter what. You already know that, if you think about it.”

“I guess I do. What else have you two conspired on?”

“Getting you to come back to me, obviously.”

“Obviously. It worked, I guess.”

“You guess?”

“You still haven’t let me kiss you!”

“Oh that! Really, you’re fixated on sex when we’re trying to fix our relationship.”

“If I remember correctly, girlfriend of mine, we talked better after we screwed ourselves silly.”

“Is that all you want from me?”

“No, it’s not. In fact, if you just want to be together today and not have sex, I’m fine with that.”

“Of course you are. You fucked everything in sight for a week!”

“I can see that really bothers you.”

“Yes, it does. If we fight when we’re married, are you going to screw every woman in the neighborhood? If you get upset, are you going to look for a comfort fuck? That is what you do, Steve.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“You aren’t denying it.”

“No, I’m not. You’re right.”

“So why should I let you touch me? How long did you wait before you started fucking other girls? I bet you started calling them as soon as you left me after you found out I was moving.”

I didn’t say anything and just looked at the floor. She was right.

“And so you come back to me, say you’re sorry and I’m just supposed to spread my legs? Is that how it’s going to be? You can do whatever the hell you want and then fuck me whenever you feel like it?”

“Jennifer,” I said softly.

“Don’t you dare deny it, Steve Adams! Stephanie asked me to take it easy on you, and I did earlier, but you can’t deny what I’ve said is true. That is what you expect!”

“What do you want from me?”

“I want you to stop acting like a fucking idiot when things don’t go your way. You’re not a fucking toddler! You’re an adult, well, close to one. Act like it.”

“I thought you didn’t care who I had sex with.”

“It’s not the who, it’s the why. You did it to spite me, Steve Adams, and you know it. I dare you to deny it. Go on, deny it, and see what happens. I’m warning you, though, that you won’t like it. And don’t give me that pathetic wounded puppy look!”

“This could have all been prevented if you had just told me in March!”

“Bullshit! The exact same thing would have happened, though your rampage might have been tempered by the fact that you were in Sweden. Your real problem is me moving, not me not telling you. That was just an excuse. A lame one, but it was your excuse.”

All of a sudden, I thought of Lotta, Mikael’s beautiful, innocent girlfriend. I wondered if I would have made a different decision if I had known about Jennifer moving. I realized I probably would have, with terrible results.

“It actually might have been worse in Sweden, Jennifer,” I said, feeling totally chagrined.

“Worse? How?”

I told her about Lotta and her offer and why she had made it. And what might have happened if I had been in the same mood I’d been in here.

“You’re right, that would have been unforgivable. Taking thirteen-year-old’s virginity to spite me would have been the lowest of the low. At least here it was only girls you’ve fucked before.”

It would have been even worse than Jennifer was saying. I would have had sex with Lotta to spite Jennifer, while Lotta would have had sex with me to spite Katt! She probably would have ended up feeling like a cheap whore, and I, well, I wouldn’t have been much better than Josh Benton raping Bethany! Could I really have let myself go that out of control? I shivered inside; yes, given what I’d been doing the past week, yes.

“I know.”

“I know you know. But what are you going to do in the future? That’s what matters. If every time something bad happens, you’re going to find the closest girl to fuck, tell me now. It’ll save a lot of heartache down the road.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Are you really that fucking dense? Either you get control of yourself or you don’t. You’re the only one who can fix this and you have to want to fix it.”

“That’s what Doctor Mercer said. I told her about the situation and she told me that she couldn’t help me unless I wanted to fix the problem.”

“No shit, Steve! How the hell can a straight-A student who is fluent in two languages, has traveled across most of the US and lived in Europe for a year, be so fucking stupid? I’m surprised you can tie your own shoes, let alone figure out how to fuck!”

“Jennifer, come on.”

“No! It’s up to you. Fix it or don’t. But tell me now so I can get on with my life and find someone who’s just a bit more stable.”

“Is that what you want?”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Steve! Would I be sitting here wasting my time if that’s what I wanted? If that’s what I wanted, I’d have been ecstatic when you didn’t talk to me instead of crying almost non-stop for the past week! Stephanie and Katt are right, you really are a fucking idiot, Steve. It’s decision time. I leave in two weeks. We can work on our relationship or I can go to Seattle and start a new life with new friends and hopefully find someone who fucks half as well as you do but has their head screwed on straight.”

“I don’t like ultimatums.”

“Maybe not, but it seems that you only get your head straight when someone gives you one. I’ve done it. Stephanie’s done it. Katt has done it. Joyce has done it. Hell, even Becky has done it. You only respond to someone giving you an ultimatum or clubbing you over the head. I’m really getting tired of it, frankly. This didn’t have to come down to an ultimatum. Well, on second thought, maybe it did, because that seems to be all that you understand!”

Just then, Mrs. Block called down to let us know lunch was ready.

“Saved by the bell, so to speak!” I chuckled.

“Not a chance! Either you decide to fix it or I take you home right now and you can explain to Stephanie that you did something really dumb today. The outcome of that will make what Pete did to you look like a friendly pat on the back.”

“How will you know I’m serious at this point? You’re offering me a pretty stark alternative.”

“Because the one thing you have never been able to do is lie to me.”

“Jennifer, for you, and for Stephanie, I’ll fix it.”

“Not good enough.”

“What? How is that not good enough?”

“If you don’t want to fix it for YOU, you won’t fix it. You’ll go through the motions trying to do what you think we want you to do, but in the end, you’ll fuck up royally.”

“I love you and Stephanie. I’ll fix it. For me. And for us.”

“Let’s go have lunch, then you’re going to fuck me, silly.”

At that she leaned towards me, her lips puckering, surprising me with what should have been a simple peck on the lips. Instead, that little peck turned into a soft kiss, just a pushing and holding of our lips together that made us both tremble, taking our breath away. We sat back, looking wide eyed, but not saying anything. We both had felt something in that kiss. Was it back?

After a moment to recover ourselves, we went upstairs to the dining room to eat. Mrs. Block asked us if we were working things out and we said that we were. She was happy about that and reminded me I was welcome to visit them at any point.

“Jennifer, may I make a phone call, please?”

“Sure, you can do it here or from the extension in my room.”

“Here is fine.”

I picked up the phone and dialed Doctor Mercer’s number. The receptionist put me on hold for a moment, and then Doctor Mercer came on the line.

“Doctor Mercer, I’d like to see you.”

“Have you changed your attitude?”

“Yes, Doctor Mercer. My girlfriend Jennifer beat some sense into me today after my sister beat some sense into me last night. I need to talk to you about it.”