40: True Confessions

Saturday night, we had another campfire. Many of the gis had been replaced with bikinis or board shorts. I noted that the bikinis weren't the skimpiest ones I'd seen all summer, and most girls wore a wrap around their waists. Apparently, while I was flying around with John, Mama Bea had a talk with Cassie, Mary, and Rose. She was such a quiet and unassuming woman, but a force to be reckoned with when needed. After all, when John first tore up our agreement, it was Bea who negotiated having him reconsider. She was sitting on the other side of John at the fire and wore shorts and a sleeveless top. John wore shorts and a t-shirt, the same as I did.

"Bea tells me we have to be up at six to work out," John said to me. "Do you think an old man can take your workouts?"

"I wouldn't call you old, John," I laughed. "We divide into groups. I'll put you with the pregnant women."

"Women? I was introduced to Doug and Doreen. Are there more?"

"You haven't met Larry and Theresa yet. They are staying as guests of Casa del Sol this weekend. I think we've convinced them to join us this fall as our ranch managers and wranglers. Theresa is due on Labor Day. Once they are here full time, it will be like having house parents. Actual adults resident on the ranch," I chuckled.

"They accept the ... social conventions of the clan?" John asked.

"Wholeheartedly. The only reason they aren't out here at the fire is because Theresa is miserable. As she says, 'Twenty-one months pregnant during the hottest time of the year.' They'll be out for forms in the morning, though. It's not as hot then," I said.

"And that is how you keep everyone so fit and beautiful?" he asked. "I have to say that when I am in town or the mall, I'm appalled at the number of overweight teens I see. Oh, I struggle to keep the extra pounds from accumulating too fast, but I'm fifty-five years old. They sent me an AARP card this year," he said indignantly. "But even at your high school graduation, I couldn't help but notice how heavy many of the kids looked. I don't see anyone overweight here, except maybe the young woman over there." He nodded toward Sugar and Lionel. Sugar certainly wasn't fat, but she was rounder than any of the other girls.

"Well, genetics and metabolism have something to do with it, but Sugar is just about as fit as anyone on the ranch. And she works just as hard. In addition to contributing to the ranch projects, she and Doreen both have full time jobs. Liz will start her first job this fall at a salon near the campus. She finished the basic course at the School of Cosmetology, but she's continuing with advanced work there while she starts her new job," I said. I was really proud of my lubricious redhead. I was going to show her really soon. "It's not just exercise. You would not believe how hard we are all working on the ranch. But we also try to eat healthily. It just wouldn't do to have a cooking show and not feed your family right."

"Brian?" Angela said coming over to me. "Forgive me for intruding. Hello, Mr. Clinton. I'm Angela."

"The tribal custom is to call the parents 'Papa.' Please call me Papa John," John said.

"That's so cool. Thank you, Papa John."

"What's up, Angela?" I asked, taking her hand.

"Is it okay to ... um ... sort of cuddle a little? I mean, I don't want to offend our guests. I just need a hug," she said. I pulled her to me and she settled into my lap. We had quite a selection of lawn furniture now and had chosen some solid Adirondack wooden pieces that we knew would hold two or three people.

"You're getting much better at asking for what you want, compañera. I don't think Papa John or Mama Bea will be offended by us sharing a chair for a few minutes," I said. It was a direct challenge to the new John and Bea. I guess I'd always managed to push his buttons. He shifted in his seat a little, but took a deep breath and looked at Angela.

"I understand you are the primary motivator in regards to the garden here," he said. "It is very impressive. Do you have any secrets you can share?"

"Do you mean about the garden?" Angela grinned. John laughed.

"Yes. Please don't share any other secrets!"

"Well, the biggest secret is migrant workers," she laughed. I hugged her to me. "At least ten cousins spend time working in the garden every day. We try to work first thing in the morning and after the temperature peaks around dinner time. Unless the weather is cooler, we don't work in the middle of the day. Oh, we'll run hoses if we need to water a section, but cultivating and harvesting aren't jobs to do in the heat. The other secret is feeding people. One taste of one of our vine-ripened tomatoes is enough to encourage people to work in the garden."

"All your secrets are people? No special fertilizers? No hybrids? Weed-killers?" he laughed.

"We haven't tried to certify any of our food as organic, but we don't put anything in the garden but seeds and labor. This fall, we'll turn the soil and add our compost. You've noticed that we have a dozen horses out there in the pasture? Larry has helped me organize raking the pasture for compost. Each time he trims the pasture, we rake it. That picks up both the grass trimmings and the horse-apples. The big bins you see along the fence are compost. The trimmings and all household food waste go into the compost bins. When we turn the soil, we'll compost it as well. We could get cattle manure from a neighboring farm, but they feed supplements and give hormones and antibiotics to their cattle. We're not actually certain how much of that passes through their system into the manure."

"Are you an agriculture major?"

"Oh, no. I'm pre-med in biology. I just love things that grow." She wiggled subtly on my lap and I pinched her butt gently.

"Hi, Daddy," Cassie said. "Are you asking Angela how to grow better grass for your airstrip?" Cassie was wearing shorts and a halter top—not exactly as exposed as most of the girls in bikini tops. She perched on her father's knees.

"That's a good thought," John said.

"I feel lonely over here," Bea said. "Where is Josh? I can scoot over."

"Right here, Mama Bea," Josh said from behind her. He sat next to her on her lounger.

"That's better."

"Thank you for the hug, compañera," Angela said as she started to extract herself. "And thanks for being so interested in the garden, Papa John. If you want to come out in the morning for a guided tour, I promise not to work you too hard." She got up and Mary slid right in behind her.

"Hello, novia," she said, kissing me. "Hi, Papa John and Mama Bea. Are you adjusting to our chaos?" She leaned across me and gave Cassie a gentle kiss. Hmm. I wonder if the three of them have a plan. I wasn't real sure how comfortable John and Bea were with the three-way relationship of Josh, Cassie, and Mary. I was sure they'd be appalled to find out it was four-way.

"It seems to me that there is more order and ... intention in your chaos than would appear at first glance," John said.

"The earth was without form and void until God said, 'Let there be light, '" Josh said.

"There is something we want to tell you, Daddy," Cassie said.

"Oh? Does it have to do with the ring you are wearing?" John said. I looked at Cassie's left hand and saw the sparkle there. When did they do that?

"Well, it could have," Cassie said. "It's not really mine. I just borrowed it to get the conversation going." She took the ring off and handed it to Josh, who put it in his pocket. "He has to ask my father's permission before he can ask me to marry him," she said.

"And what makes you think I'd give this scalawag permission to marry my daughter?" John said. "I'll have to think about it for a couple years." We all laughed.

"That's okay," Cassie said. "We aren't in a hurry. But I'm not giving you grandchildren until I'm married. Think about that, too." That got us going. And jokes about being too young to be grandparents but already having an AARP card flew. I was glad it seemed to be light-hearted. I think John and Bea fully expected Josh to propose right then and there. "Mom and Dad, before Josh ever gets around to asking your permission, we need to tell you some other things."

"Honey, I know you've been ... active together. I've put aside my judgment. I've done my best to raise you in the love of God and love of family. The way God guides you is not mine to judge."

"Thank you, Daddy. I've always loved you and Mommy. And I believe I've grown in faith even more with a partner who shares it with me. We live under two different systems," Cassie continued. "We recognize that according to the church and the state, a marriage can only exist between one man and one woman. That's why Josh will ask your permission to marry me and he will become my husband and I his wife. But our clan recognizes that unions may exist among more than two people and that even unions of the same sex are possible. We talk about our compañera, or boyfriends and girlfriends. We are what any other boyfriend or girlfriend would be. Kind of exploring. But we also have cónyuge within the clan. Cónyuge have made a long term, intimate commitment to each other. Except for all the church blessings and state licenses, we consider it the same as a marriage, but we don't use the same words so people don't get confused. When two or more people agree that they are on track to become cónyuge but aren't ready to quite make the commitment, we call them novia. It is the same to us as being engaged and being someone's fiancée. Mommy and Daddy, I want you to meet my novia, Josh and Mary," Cassie said. John was nodding as if he'd known this was coming. Cassie took a deep breath. "And Brian." Bea gasped and then started to giggle. John looked at her and shook his head.

"I should have known," John sighed. "I did know, at least in part. Brian told me at your graduation that you would be Josh's first wife." He looked at me. "Don't blame me," he said to me. "I tried to protect you from this."

"Daddy!"

"Cassandra, my baby girl, I won't try to understand and I won't try to use all the terms associated with this. I will not refer to my sons-in-law or my daughter's wife. When you are ready, I will simply refer to you all as my daughters and my sons," he said. There was a tear on his cheek as Cassie hugged him. She turned to her mother and when she left her father's lap, Mary took the spot and hugged him. I got up and kissed Bea on the cheek and she gave me a ferocious hug, clamping me under one arm and Josh under the other.

"I thought I'd only get one. Now I get three!" she said happily.

John stood up and I faced him. I offered my hand and he ignored it. Instead, he pulled me into a hug. While we embraced he whispered to me. "Help me, Brian. There is something else I need to say."

"What do you need?"

"Just stand with me and don't judge until I'm finished." I nodded. We all settled back down and John pulled Josh and Cassie to him on either side. He put their hands together and held them. "There is one other thing," he sighed. "I don't want you married in our church."

"Daddy!" Cassie cried. I could see her try to pull her hand away, but John held it tightly. He needed my support and I simply had to trust that he had a reason for this. I laid a hand on top of theirs and when she saw what I'd done, Mary joined me.

"I've left it," John said. Oh my god! I never thought I'd hear those words from John Clinton. "I don't plan to go back there again, and I don't want to miss my daughter's wedding. Maybe Rhonda's father would do your ceremony."

"Daddy, what happened?" Cassie said. The tug on her grip lessened and she came back into her father's lap, dragging Josh with her. Mary and I kept our hands on them.

"I dared to disagree with Rev. Clark. In my opinion, he's become more and more irrational in his preaching. A few members left before me. When I confronted him with what I thought was a non-Biblical approach to a subject, he tore into me. He told me that I was a corrupter of youth and that my own daughter was a testimony to it. I couldn't let that pass. I'm afraid the words that passed between us can never be retracted, nor would I. Sadly, there are a number of newer members who have been attracted by his increasingly charismatic stance were all too willing to join in his castigation. I won't go back and they will never see another penny of my money. They've gone too far."

"I'm sorry, Daddy. I never meant to bring shame to you," Cassie cried.

"Oh, my darling daughter. I. Am. Not. Ashamed. Of. You. I am not ashamed of my daughters or my sons. I am ashamed of the church I supported and the people with whom I worshipped."

Our evening gathering went late. I tossed another log on the fire at ten and most people were still hanging around. Jennifer brought out her secret stash of Girl Scout Thin Mints and marshmallows and we made s'mores. After it got dark and had cooled down some, Larry and Theresa came out to join us. Cassie, Josh, and Mary moved on and others of the clan came to perch on my lap and even on the edge of John's and Bea's loungers. It was really beautiful as they met some of the IU folks and even a few of the high school seniors for the first time. I stayed in my Adirondack lounger for the most part and welcomed everyone who came to visit. It seemed like it was a 'pay respects to Patrón' night, though no one called me that, thank goodness.

That wasn't the reason I stayed in my Adirondack. John had asked me to stand by him and I somehow thought he wasn't finished. I had no idea what else might be on his mind, though. By eleven-thirty, people started heading to bed. Bea got up and said she was going to see if the bed was as comfortable as it looked. John didn't make a move to get up. There were still a few couples and a group of girls hanging out, but we had relative privacy so I took a breath to steady myself and put a hand on his shoulder.