Chapter 4

To think that something like that could not happen to us would be like thinking an ice cube would not melt in the desert. I had to ask myself how I felt about things. About how I really felt. The answer was easy for me.

I had known Charlene and Sam for many years, Jane even longer, if there would have been any doubt it would have voiced itself long ago. Mona and Mel were sort of a new experience. Looking at them though, any man would have to be insane not to think they were living dolls.

They say beauty, though, is skin deep. The true mettle for all of us would soon have to be proven.

It was going to be our first night so-called, sleeping under the stars in the RV. We were six hours outside Naperville and we would stop at some park in a few hours.

What do they say about the best laid plans, ‘gang aft... ‘ something or other? We were going along just fine until it happened.

Bang, no smoke, mist, shining light, thunderstorm, Nada Dam Ting! We just ran out of road and were stopped. By stopped, I mean everything went deader than the proverbial door nail or knob or something like that.

“Why did we stop?” This voiced by a chorus of shrill squeaks in the RV.

Looking outside not much seemed different except there was no longer any road. As a matter of fact, no signs, lights, gravel sides or anything that might say there had ever been a roadway there.

Things seemed greener but nothing to indicate that we were anywhere else but Earth. That cloud passing by was not to wish upon, it started to rain. There would be no ‘parade’ today folks.

A voice came from somewhere saying we had three wishes. “A house, car and husband, if you please.” came forth, at least from Charlene and Sam, I just had to nod my head, my big head, in agreement to that.

“Close, but no cigar. Now, say the magic words and your wishes shall be granted.”

Whoever he was, he needed to brush up on his ‘Groucho’ (Julius Henry Marx ).

With his comment about wishes my imagination turned to ‘Genie’, just for a moment mind you. An al-jinn?, Djinn, Jann, or djinni would probably have been more appropriate, listening to the sound of his voice.

Everything just seemed to fade to black. When I woke up, it seemed to be morning. A new day was dawning. I looked outside expecting that this dream or nightmare or whatever would be over and things back to normal ... if anything with five girls could be normal! But, alas, poor Jack, no such luck.

I suddenly had this urge, you know the one, the one we all get in the morning. What to do?

I ran outside. While watering a tree, yes there were trees, a small stampede followed me outside the RV. I guess girls were built similar to guys, they just didn’t do it standing up.

Based on the barrage of questions posed to me, I now had a pretty good idea what that ‘Inquisition’ had been like. I had only one thing to say in response, ‘What?’ I hoped I would float, no sink, no, what the Hell, was that test anyway?

“Before anyone says anything or makes any wishes, I just wanted to let you know that we are not in Kansas any more, and there is no Yellow Brick Road that I can see. It also may mean having a few beautiful wives like you will not be much of a problem. We have a few bigger fish to fry.”

Saying wives, beautiful and no longer a problem, seemed to be all that was heard.

“Speaking of frying fish, do we have any food inside, or do we dine on nuts and berries if we are lucky? I am starving.”

The mad rush into the RV resulted in the discovery of our feast. One can of ‘Cheez Wiz’, two cans of tuna, sixteen crackers, one banana, two apples, a bag of trail mix, one box of golden raisins ... and, the crowning glory, a jar of ‘Jiff’ peanut butter. Yes, we were well equipped to survive. Survive for like 23 seconds maybe.

The term, ‘roughing it’ had taken on a whole new meaning!