Chapter 21: School, Skating and Skiing

January 1980, Hovås/Göteborg, Sweden

After Pia returned to Helsingborg, I started to get back into my regular routine. On Friday, Anders dropped me at the ice rink on the way to work. Johanna, Mikael, and Kat were not there, so I skated laps and practiced what Johanna had taught me. Åke skated over when I was done and told me he thought I’d really improved and he suggested that I think about showing up during the times when the rink was reserved for “unorganized” hockey, when anyone who showed up could play. I said I would indeed think about it.

On Saturday, I was back at the rink with Sofia, Petra, and Tomas. We had our usual good time and Tomas invited me to a party he was having in a few weeks. I told him I’d love to go, as long as Sofia was invited. Most of Tomas’ friends would be thirteen or so, and I wanted to have someone my age to hang out with, even though I suspected Petra would be around. He agreed immediately. On Sunday, Sofia and I spent the afternoon together.

I was at school on Monday morning, and fully back in my normal routine. Kat, Mikael, and Johanna were at the rink on Monday and at the end of practice, Kat asked me to skate with her once around the rink in ice dancing form. I said I was willing to try, and we ended up laughing almost the entire time because I had little ability to skate in sync with her. Fortunately, I didn’t trip her, nor did I fall, but it was a very close thing.

“Kat,” I said, “I’m sorry, but that’s absolutely not for me. Mikael will be back skating soon and you should absolutely stick with him!”

“But I liked your arm around me!” she protested, almost whining, but it seemed to me, without her normal flirty playfulness.

“I’m sure you did,” I said with a big grin, deciding that I’d probably read more into her words than was really there. “But that doesn’t make me a good skater! Mikael was right — compared to him, I’m a big lug. And I’m more of a swimmer than a skater.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Johanna said, “you have really powerful legs that I think could make you a better skater than a swimmer, if you put the effort in. But you’re right; you are not a figure skater and definitely NOT an ice dancer!”

I waved at her silly put-down comment, “I’m really not into sports that much, actually. I swim for exercise. I have a pool at home but here I didn’t have one big enough to swim laps every day, so I started jogging. When it got cold, I started skating. When it gets warm, I’ll probably run again.”

“So you’ll stop coming to the rink in the Spring?” Kat asked with a clear note of disappointment in her voice.

“For you,” I said with a friendly smile, “I could change my plans!”

Mikael groaned and Johanna just smiled. It actually wasn’t a bad idea, at least until school was out. But once school was out, I was going to be busy anyway — a few days in Stockholm, a week in Abisko and a last night in Helsingborg all crammed into about a month.

“Steve, will you come to my birthday party at the end of February?” Kat asked.

“Sure! Just let me know the details.”

I let Johanna know about my trip to Austria and she said there was no practice anyway because both Mikael and Kat would be on their own Spring vacation.

Tuesday was another typical day, though that night at Torbjörn’s, Elizabeth was once again in a silly mood. She was teasing me at every opportunity, making fun of everything I said or did. I started teasing back, and we both were laughing.

“When are you two finally going to figure it out?” Torbjörn asked.

“Figure what out?” I asked.

“That you both want to screw each other but are too afraid to say so for some reason!”

I stopped to consider what he said. Was he right? I didn’t know what Elizabeth was thinking, but when I thought about what he had just said, I concluded he was right. She was cute, fun, smart, and we got along great. I also knew she didn’t have a boyfriend.

“Torbjörn, you’re bad. Leave them alone!” Cecilia commanded.

He just grinned.

For the next hour, there wasn’t much teasing at all, and we just listened to music, drank tea, and chatted about all sorts of mundane things. When it was time to leave, I walked Elizabeth home like usual.

“Was Torbjörn right?” Elizabeth asked at the door to her building.

“I think he probably was,” I said carefully. “I hadn’t really thought about it, but now that I have, I believe he’s right. I do want to.”

“Me too.”

“So now what?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” she said softly.

“Me either.”

We hugged each other goodnight, silently, perhaps holding each other just a little tighter than usual, then I went to catch my bus.

I was really conflicted. Did I want to start something with Elizabeth? With everything else going on, especially the totally confusing situation with Karin and the fact that I’d be going home in six months, not to mention our friendship, I wasn’t sure it was the right thing to do. She seemed equally conflicted about it. The only thing to do would be to wait and see how things developed.

The rest of the week was pretty normal with skating, school, and spending time with Sofia. Elizabeth and I saw each other in school, but neither of us said anything about Tuesday’s conversation. It seemed that both of us were trying to figure out what we should do and that neither of us had a clue as to what the right thing was.

I also spent a lot of time that week in the computer lab with Helge and Jan. I had completed my slot machine game and was working on trying to make a hockey game, but it seemed that the computer just wasn’t fast enough to get five skaters, two goalies and a puck moving on the screen at the same time. It was only block graphics and letters, with the puck represented by a lower-case ‘o’. I tried everything I could think of and sought help from both Helge and Jan, but in the end we agreed we needed a faster computer to do what I wanted.

The next week was pretty much typical, though on Tuesday night, I asked Elizabeth if she wanted to talk and she said yes. When we left Torbjörn’s, we walked a few blocks to a café and ordered coffee.

“Now what?” I asked, as I had the previous week.

“I still don’t know,” she replied. “It’s complicated. I want to, but I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”

“Exactly,” I agreed. “I want to as well, but I’m also not sure it’s a good idea. I don’t want to mess up our friendship, or create a bad situation for the group.”

“I don’t want that either, and I don’t want to get into a relationship that I know has to end in a few months.”

“Well, that pretty much leaves us where we are, then, unless you’re all right with something very casual. Just two friends who happen to have sex. I’ve had a relationship like that before. But even that’s a risk, because you can never predict your emotions.”

“I’m not sure about that, honestly. It would be fun, I suspect a lot of fun, but I’m just afraid of what I might feel for you afterwards.”

“Then leave it as it is for now,” I suggested. “It’s for the best. But please don’t stop the flirting and teasing — I enjoy it and I won’t take it the wrong way.”

We both smiled and nodded, and enjoyed the moment of just two friends sharing a connection.

We finished our coffee, and I walked her back home, hugged her goodnight, and then took the bus home.

Friday night was Tomas’ party. Sofia was there with me, and of course Petra was there as well. I danced some with Sofia, but it seemed every girl at the party wanted to dance with me. I tried to keep Sofia close out of self-defense, but it didn’t really work. For a few of the slow dances, the girls were really dancing close — Mary Harrison close. Given that they were all twelve or thirteen, The ABBA song, Does Your Mother Know kept running through my mind.

It didn’t get any better as the night wore on. I had three separate offers to go into one of the bedrooms from young girls, not to mention a very explicit request from Petra that caused Sofia to roll her eyes. I turned them all down. Petra was more than a little put off when Sofia asked me to spend the night with her, and I agreed, knowing that it was not an invitation for sex.

I did notice as the night wore on that Tomas was constantly surrounded by a gaggle of girls, all of whom seemed more than a little interested in him, much to the chagrin of the other guys at the party. It looked like my talking with him had paid off. Towards the end of the night, when many of the guests had left, Tomas came over to where Sofia and I were talking with Petra.

“I’m happy to see you’re putting my advice to good use,” I said. “You had those girls eating out of the palm of your hand!”

He smiled, “It’s pretty amazing how being nice works. Now it’s just a matter of being as good at it as my sister and Sofia say you are.”

“I had a couple of older women teach me. Maybe that’s what you need!”

Tomas’ eyes darted quickly to his sister and Petra stiffened, her eyes popping wide open for a split second before she composed herself. Both of them quickly blushed.

‘No way!’ I thought to myself, but I couldn’t say anything. I wondered if Sofia had noticed, but there was no good way to ask her. I just let it go.

When the party broke up around 1:00am, I walked back to Sofia’s house and we slept in each other’s arms. It was comforting to do that, and to be honest, let me get a good long look at her gorgeous body. Our relationship had moved past that, and she put on a long sleep shirt before she got into bed with me, but that didn’t stop me from admiring every curve.

When we woke up, we were spooned together, with her back and butt pressed against me and my arm around her.

“Thanks,” I whispered. “I appreciate you doing that for me. It’s comforting.”

“For me, too. I wish it could be more, but I think we’re in the right place for us now.”

“Me too. Don’t get me wrong, when you changed last night, the thought crossed my mind.”

“Oh, it crossed mine too!” Sofia said wistfully. “It crosses my mind every time I see you! But you can’t be what I need in a boyfriend.”

“I know. You’re a fantastic friend. I hope we can keep in touch after I go home.”

“Of course! I’ll write to you. And maybe you can come back some day. Have you thought about it?”

“I have, actually. I have lots of reasons to come back. It would be really cool to come back to see my class graduate from Schillerska. That would be two years from now, so it could happen. It’s something I would love to do.”

“You’re welcome to stay with me for a few days then! I can arrange it with Mom and Dad for sure.”

“They’re OK with what we’re doing?”

“They are. Dad thinks we’re having sex, but Mom knows we aren’t. But we’re together enough that Dad thinks you’re my boyfriend, and it’s easier to keep it that way!”

I chuckled, “I can see how that would be the case.”

We got up and dressed and I walked up the hill to the Jonssons’, where I quickly showered and joined Patrick for breakfast. Anders came to the table about ten minutes later and looked pretty hungover. Anders provided more than enough motivation for me to feel good about not drinking to excess.

After breakfast, I was hanging out in my room when Suzana came in and shut the door.

“Can we talk for a minute?” she asked.

“Sure; what’s up?”

“Mom and Dad had a big fight last night. Dad was drinking as usual. I’m afraid!”

“Did he hit her? Or threaten her?”

“Oh no, he was mean, but not like that. I’m afraid they’re going to divorce. I didn’t hear the entire fight because I went to my room and turned on my music pretty loud, but they talked about splitting up.”

“Wow!” I exclaimed.

That surprised me, and for a moment I wondered that if it came to that, what would YFU do?

“I know his drinking is pretty heavy,” I continued. “And he can be mean when he’s drinking, but he’s always been pretty nice otherwise.”

“He’s a great dad when he’s sober, but he’s been drinking a lot more lately. Mom’s not happy about it, as you can imagine.”

“I’m not sure what any of us can do. They have to work that out for themselves. But I’m here for you whenever you want.”

“Thanks,” she said softly. Then she perked up, “By the way, did you see that the US and Sweden play in ice hockey on February 12th?”

“I did. I’m happy they aren’t in the same group as the Russians and Canadians. We might have a chance to advance to the medal round!”

“Maybe. But Sweden will beat the US for sure.”

“Sounds like we should make a bet. How about 20 crowns?”

That was about $5.00 and I was sure it wasn’t too much for her.

Suzana crinkled her nose and smiled, “Sure. I know you have the money! I’m happy to take it from you.”

“Don’t be too sure. Herb Brooks is an amazing coach.”

“We’ll see!”

“Isn’t the 12th also your birthday?”

“Yes, it is. So I’ll get a present from you plus 20 crowns!”

We both laughed.

The conversation had ended on a much happier note than it had started on. I needed to remember to buy her some kind of gift as well. I was a bit concerned about the situation and wondered how that would affect my last six months. I’d hate to move, especially if I had to leave the Göteborg area. For now, though, I’d just see what happened.

On Sunday, Suzana and Patrick took me to a small hill and, using Peter’s skis, taught me the very basics of putting on skis, skiing a straight line and stopping. Our trip to Austria was coming in a week, and they figured it best if I knew at least a little before we got there. Anders had said, during one of his sober moments, that he had arranged for lessons for me that would last all day the first two days. I was looking forward to it.

The next week flew by and on Friday I took the train to Helsingborg to be with Pia. We had a fantastic weekend together, staying at her place. We did have lunch on Saturday with Rolf and Sinikka, and coffee later that day with Putte and Kathy. Pia and I made love all night again on Saturday, as had become the norm for our visits. It seemed we were trying to pack a month’s worth of lovemaking into every weekend we were together.

February 1980, Hovås, Sweden and Katschberg, Austria

I returned to Göteborg, and another typical week followed. On Friday around 5:00pm we packed up the car and started our trip to Katschberg, Austria. The total driving time was about sixteen hours, and Eva and Anders would switch driving duties every couple of hours. We’d have to take two ferry boats — one across the Öresund between Malmö and Copenhagen and another across the Baltic from Denmark to West Germany.