Chapter 14: Aftermath, Annie, ABBA, and the ABC-80, Part II

October, 1979, Hovås/Göteborg, Sweden

On Monday, when I walked up the steps of the school, Annie was waiting for me.

“Hi!” she said brightly.

“Hi,” I said.

She put her arm in mine and walked me to class. She’d never done anything like that before. I had no idea what could have caused this change. Something must have happened at the party after I had started drinking. But what? I’d have to talk to Bengt and see if he’d noticed anything.

After Math class, I had to leave right away to go to my Swedish for Immigrants class, but when I came back, I found Bengt and pulled him aside.

“Bengt, I had way too much to drink at your party. What happened between me and Annie?”

He chuckled, then smirked. “I can’t believe you don’t remember!”

No way. That was just not possible. I’d remember if THAT happened.

“We didn’t! I think I would remember doing THAT no matter how drunk I was!”

He laughed, “No, you didn’t do IT. You did dance close a lot with her and kissed her pretty seriously when she left. You two didn’t go into a room or anything.”

That was a relief. But clearly she thought something had happened between us. I’d have to talk to her, but I didn’t want to do that at school.

“Thanks,” I replied, relieved, but still wondering.

I had a few minutes, so I went to the room with the computers and checked the sign-up sheet. I could sign up for Monday and Thursday afternoons as well. I’d have to give them up if others signed up, but right now, only Jan and I were regulars, though Helge was starting to use them occasionally during his free period. I figured the more time I spent in the computer lab, the better, because it would distract me from the emotional issues I was dealing with.

I also found Torbjörn and asked him if he’d like to start getting together on Tuesdays after school. He told me yes, and that he would invite Elizabeth Molander and another girl in my class who was also a friend of theirs, Cecilia Sandblom. We’d hang out at his parents’ apartment, have dinner together, drink tea, and chat.

Though Jennifer had told me I needed to figure out how to handle my own emotions, I needed to build a support group here. I didn’t have Jennifer, Melanie, and Stephanie, and really, nobody could replace them. They weren’t here, so maybe a combination of Pia, Sofia, Suzana, and Torbjörn could do it.

The computer time was important, too. It helped to reestablish a pattern in my life that had made me quite happy back home. I seriously considered buying an ABC-80, but decided I didn’t need one at home given I had full access to one at school. And, in reality, I wasn’t spending a significant amount of time at home.

At lunch, Annie sat next to me rather than across from me as she had previously. I knew I’d have to talk to her privately and figured I would ask her out so we could be alone, rather than somewhere in the school. When school let out, I pulled her aside. She was one of the three girls coaching me with Swedish, so I had no choice but to try to ask in Swedish.

“«Annie, vill du gå ut med mig på fredag?»” (“Annie, do you want to go out with me on Friday?”)

“«Ja visst! Såklart vill jag!»” (Absolutely! Of course I will!)

I took her hand in mine and we walked to the tram stop. She would be going the opposite direction and her tram came first. She gave me a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek and got on the tram. I waved as the tram pulled away and then boarded one heading in the opposite direction.

The rest of the week was pretty much the same. Each day she was waiting for me on the steps to the school and we walked to the tram and she kissed my cheek. On Friday morning, I asked her what she wanted to do. She said she wanted to go to a movie called «Tjejen som visste för mycket». We’d hang out after school, have something to eat, and then go to the movie.

At the end of the school day, we took the #2 Tram to Centralstationen and went to a restaurant in the main shopping area. After our meal, we walked a few blocks to the cinema and bought our tickets. I saw the poster for the movie and realized I’d already seen it! This was the Chevy Chase/Goldie Hawn movie, Foul Play that I had seen with Bethany. I didn’t let on that I had seen it because I didn’t mind seeing it again, and I didn’t want to hurt Annie’s feelings.

After the movie, we walked around central Göteborg for a bit. I had decided to wait until the end of the night to talk to Annie so that I had a good idea of whether or not I wanted to continue a relationship.

“«Annie, kan vi ta det på engelska?»” (“Annie, can we talk in English?”)

“«Okej Steve, om du måste.»” (“OK, Steve, if you have to.”)

“It’s safer for me. I have to confess — I don’t remember a lot from Bengt’s party.”

“You were really drunk by the end of the night, so I’m not surprised.”

“What happened?”

“Well, we danced a lot, really close, and you told me you liked me a lot. Then, when it was time for me to leave, you pulled me to you and gave me an amazing kiss and said you wanted to go out with me.”

“I honestly don’t remember any of that,” I said ruefully. “I’m really sorry. I had fun tonight, though, so I wasn’t wrong when I said it. I’m sorry I drank so much.”

“You shouldn’t drink that much, but you’re funny and silly when you’re drunk, not nasty or mean or violent.”

“I won’t drink that much again, I promise. I did it to try to forget my problems and feel better. Unfortunately, in the morning the problems were still there AND I had a hangover with a killer headache.”

“That’s how it works! Alcohol doesn’t help. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not now, OK? Maybe later. Things are better. And I promise I won’t drink like that again.”

“Good.”

“But, I don’t really remember the kiss, so I’d like one now, if that’s OK.”

She stopped walking and turned to me. I pulled her into a hug and we kissed, soft at first, but then her lips parted and our tongues probed into each other’s mouths. Her mouth and lips were really warm, warmer than I’d ever encountered before. She broke the kiss and sighed and put her head on my chest.

I looked down at her, her long, straight blonde hair flowing over her shoulders, her thin, firm body pressed against me, her small breasts smashed into my chest. We hugged for a few minutes and then continued our walk, but now hand-in-hand. We came back to Centralstationen, and we each boarded our trams in opposite directions after exchanging another scorching kiss.

I had a very good feeling about Annie. She seemed mature, in addition to being my type. I hadn’t talked to her about my problems as yet, and I didn’t know her well enough to do so. I’d have to see her some more and see what might develop. I got home late and basically fell into bed and was quickly sound asleep.

I woke up early as usual on Saturday morning and realized that the days were quickly getting shorter. My runs in the morning started before the Sun came up and the Sun was setting before 7:00pm. By the first of November, when I decided I’d start skating, sunrise would be around 7:30am and sunset around 4:30pm. That was a far cry from July when it was light at 10:30pm. In December it would be worse — the Sun would come up around 9:00am and set by 3:30pm!

At breakfast, Anders asked if I’d be interested in going with him to a medical conference in Berlin. Patrick was going along as a mini-vacation and I was welcome to join them. We’d leave the day after Christmas and be back in Hovås New Year’s Eve morning. The trip would start with a drive to Malmö, then a ferry to Rostock in East Germany, and a drive from there to Berlin. We’d have three full days in Berlin, and then retrace the journey to come home. I said that I’d love to go.

Eva asked me a question I found amusing. Peter had written about going to his school’s ‘Homecoming Dance’ and she had no idea what that was and he hadn’t described it. I explained that it had to do with American football in High School. You played one game every week during the season, some at your school’s home field, and others at the opponent’s field. After some games away from your school, and you had a game at your home field again, you had a dance and a party to celebrate the ‘return’, and invited former students to attend. Even if people didn’t like American football, they’d still go to the ‘Homecoming Dance’.

That led to a discussion about American football and we came to the conclusion that it was silly to call it ‘football’ when it didn’t even use a round ball, it was actually against the rules to kick the ball better than 95% of the time, and you mostly used your hands to either throw it or to carry it close to your body! This was, of course, almost opposite of football as played in the rest of the world where, except for the goalkeeper inside his box, it was illegal for players to use their hands.

I spent some time talking with Suzana later that same morning. She and I were getting along pretty well and I was starting to ask her for advice about dealing with some of my issues, especially with regard to Becky and the baby. Her take was very much like Melanie’s had been — that the problems Becky would have had were so tremendous that she could see why she would do it. Suzana said that even in Sweden, with all the help you got from the government, it was hard on fifteen- and sixteen-year-olds who got pregnant and decided to have their babies.

That didn’t give me a lot of comfort, but it did help me try to see things from Becky’s point of view. I wondered if her mom would have done the same thing even if I had been there, but just found a different threat. I suspected she would have. But, with me there, Becky might have resisted, but she also might not have. I suspected with me standing behind her, she’d have kept the baby.

Doing that could have led to all kinds of other problems, especially with how Becky still felt about me. And that, I realized, might have been a problem for years to come. If Becky still had those feelings, would she have used my son to try to draw me back in? I wouldn’t put it past her, given what she had done to get pregnant in the first place.

Around 11:00am I decided to use the sauna and went and turned it on. I went and put on my trunks and sat down in the sauna. Suzana joined me a few minutes later.

“I see you have your bathing suit on today!”

“Disappointed?” I asked with a silly smile.

She giggled, “Maybe!”

I was glad to see she was getting more comfortable with me. I didn’t read anything into the comment other than teasing and there really wasn’t any hint of attraction neither from her, nor from me either. I figured that was a good thing, because it could be more than a little awkward whether things went right or things went wrong.

After about twenty minutes, we went and jumped in the pool and splashed around for a bit. I took a quick shower and then dressed for my afternoon with Petra, Sofia, and Tomas. I met them at the bus stop as usual and we spent a couple of hours at the rink, then had coffee at the usual café. On the bus ride home, Tomas and I sat together, as did Petra and Sofia.

I was talking with Tomas when I heard a good-natured argument breaking out between Sofia and Petra. It was in Swedish and I didn’t follow fully, but I got the gist. Tomas started laughing.

“You know they are arguing about who will ask you to spend time with them tonight,” he said confidentially.

“Yes, I don’t follow completely, but I got the basic idea.” I chuckled.

“Petra, Sofia, why are you arguing?” I asked lightly.

Sofia said, “Because I said I wanted you to come to my house tonight, but Petra says it’s her turn.”

I chuckled, “I didn’t know we were taking turns!”

Tomas said quietly, “«Du har sån tur!»” (“You are so lucky!”)

I smiled at him and waited for one of the girls to answer.

“We aren’t really, but we both wanted you for the same thing for tonight.”

If I had to decide, I’d take Sofia any day of the week. It’s not that Petra wasn’t fun, but I needed what Sofia had to offer more than I needed the hard driving sex that Petra liked. Of course, being who I was, there was only one answer.

“You could share and have me together!”

All three sets of eyes went wide as saucers. The girls giggled.

Tomas whispered, “«Verkligen?»” (“Really?”)

“«Ja, det har jag redan gjort i USA.»” (“I’ve done it before in the US.”)

Petra giggled, “Could be fun!”

Sofia spoke quickly, “Uhm, no, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

I had pretty much assumed Sofia wouldn’t be up for it, but Petra, having had quite a few lovers, by my guess, was a bit more adventurous. More and more, she reminded me of Mary Harrison. I also found it amusing that back home I had several threesomes but almost none of the girls in supposedly sexually liberated Sweden were interested. Of course, none of them were Melanie Spencer, who was more or less the instigator of all those sessions. Even the time with Sarah and Jennifer had been at Melanie’s house, and I suspected she’d had a hand in it.

Petra said, “I guess Steve has to choose!”

Sofia chimed in, “Yes, you decide, Steve!”

There was nothing on this planet that would make me choose. I knew what I wanted, but making that choice could unleash all kinds of unintended consequences. It was like when Jennifer and Melanie tried to get me to say which of them was the sexiest. Answering that wrong might have really offended the other one.

“I’m sorry, I can’t choose. You’ll have to work it out for yourselves! If you can’t, then Sofia, I’m sorry, but I choose both together!”

Petra giggled, and Sofia actually stuck her tongue out at me.

“Sofia, don’t stick that out unless you plan to use it!” I said.

That left all three of them in hysterics. I guess they’d never heard that before!

They had a hushed conversation that I couldn’t hear, so I went back to talking to Tomas.

“You really had two girls at the same time?” he asked.

“Yes, a few times. And I’ve had three at the same time a couple of times, too.”

“Wow. I wish I could do that!”

“Well, maybe you should have sex with one girl first, then you can think about two or three!”

He laughed, “I guess that would be a good idea. Now, if I could just find the girl who would do it!”

“Tomas, you’ll be thirteen soon, I think you might want to wait a bit.”

“Not if I find the girl!”

I chuckled, “Well, the nicer you are, the more likely you are to find a girl who will do it with you. At least that’s what I’ve found.”

“Can you tell me what to do?”

“You mean like, how to have sex? Or how to get girls to have sex?”

“Both! My sister seems really happy after you are with her.”

“I can answer questions for you whenever you have them, but the main thing to do is just be really nice to them and always make sure you are doing what they want to do and what they think feels good. It’s easy for a guy to feel good, but each girl is a little different. Just ask her if you need to.”

“We have a party for my class in two weeks. Maybe I’ll try being nice!”

“You need to start long before the party,” I said. “Be nice to the girls all the time. It’s worked with your sister, hasn’t it?”

“Yes, but my friends will tease me if I’m nice.”

“Well, isn’t a little teasing worth it if you get what you want from the girls?”

He smiled and nodded. By then we’d come to the Hovås stop and we got off the bus.

“Well, girls, which is it? Did you decide, or do we all three do it together?” I smirked.

Petra asked, “Are you free tomorrow afternoon?”

“Yes.”

“Sofia’s parents are out, so you should go with her tonight. Come to my house for lunch tomorrow, OK?”

“Lunch, Petra?” I smirked.

“Yes, Steve, lunch!” she giggled.

I was actually happy with the result. I really needed what Sofia had to offer. And I knew, if push came to shove, I’d pick her and deal with the consequences. In the end, without trying to be crass, Petra wasn’t more than a convenient dalliance, much like Mary Harrison had been, except for that one special time.

We walked to Sofia’s house and before Petra and Tomas continued down the street, she grabbed me and gave me one of her searing kisses. We said goodbye, and Sofia and I went into her house.

She led me directly to her room, shut the door, and turned on the radio.

“I’m glad you came with me tonight,” Sofia said. “I can feel you’re still hurting and I want to help you feel better.”

“Making love helps, but you caring for me helps more. Only do this if you want to, not because you think I need it.”