Chapter 13

“I don’t feel pure,” Faye was lying with my arm round her, in bed. She wasn’t really committing to the cuddle though.

“Alice meant you’re a pure person, as a person, I expect. I think you are too.”

“I didn’t realise Alice slept with them all as well. I mean, I knew about two of them, or three I suppose, or ... I don’t know. It seemed different.”

“Yes.” I had to think about that myself. I’d been wondering if someone else’s cum might dribble out of Faye’s pussy. I knew that could sometimes happen a day or even two afterwards, though up to now it had always been my own. How different was it if some dribbled out of Alice’s, compared to Faye’s?

Anyway I mustn’t pause too long: “So you see, it’s not about just sleeping with different partners, is it? Boys have lots of partners anyway and nobody thinks anything about it.”

“I suppose.”

“It’s about status,” my thoughts clarified. “Alice did it on her own terms, choosing, and in a way you did too, being there. So it’s not really different. You did the same things, but with your different personalities it ended up feeling different. Alice had more control, that’s all.”

“I suppose so.”

I cuddled her lightly for a minute or two. All the perfumed talc on her was a bit overwhelming, but I didn’t dare suggest another shower. It felt great to have her back anyway, and it did make stroking her very smooth. I found my finger tracing the gorgeous shape of her lower back as it rose onto her ass.

“Jack called me a slut. And then Dennis did too. But Jack thought it was funny.”

“So what’s the relationship ... connection between status and calling the girl you’re with a slut?”

“I don’t know ... but you’re going to make me find out.” She smiled, and for the first time pulled us together.

I kissed her cheek, which didn’t have too much talc on it. “How much status does a slut have?”

“Not much.”

“So what does he get out of it? Calling you one?” My hapless teen didn’t answer, though I could sense her thinking about it. “Hmmm, okay ... well take Jack: how long would he expect a high-status girl to stay with him?”

“Like Alice? Not long. I think she just tried him, kind of thing. Once.”

“Okay...”

Faye thought about it. “I suppose, if he makes her have less status, she might stay longer?”

“Exactly. If he sees himself as low status.”

“He wasn’t very nice.”

“No. So calling you a slut, and using you, was about him, wasn’t it? His feelings of being inadequate. Not about you. And then because he’s big and aggressive he influenced the others, who’re quite young and perhaps not especially strong characters.”

“They could never have done that to Alice though.”

“You’re a different person to Alice. You can’t be someone you’re not. You’re gentler and less confident and you always will be. You have to work within that. So if you can’t scare them off, what can you do?”

“Leave, I suppose. But I didn’t have anywhere.”

“You understand about self-image? Self-esteem?”

“Vaguely.”

“Everyone depends on the people around them for their opinion of themselves, to some extent or other. So these guys can make someone feel too worthless to leave. Like it’s not safe or even possible to leave. It’s a trap.”

“It did make me feel worthless. They didn’t even ask, in the end. They just assumed. Though I didn’t say ‘no’, really.”

“So if you ended up in that house with Zack leaving and Jack arriving, what would you do, next time?

She though for a few seconds. “I’d call you. Or someone. Alice, or Childline or something. I’d do something, not nothing.”

I kissed her cheek again and she snuggled into me.

“You’re amazing,” she murmured.

“You’re amazing,” I squeezed her, “anyway now you’ve had that experience and come out the other side and learned lots of things. From the boarding and the party and the house. I still think how you put your phone through the letterbox.”

“I was thinking of you. Imagining what questions you’d ask me, when you said ‘keep thinking’.”

“I’m so glad to have you back, here with me. I really missed you.”

“One thing...”

“What?”

“I can tell you anything, can’t I?”

“Yes.”

“I ... I might not cum any more.”

Christ. “It’s an emotional thing, not just physical. They’ll come back, but if they don’t I’ll still love you.”

She pressed into me and I rolled onto my back and helped pull her on top. I was betting she’d still have done this only with me. I cuddled her intensely, with no erection. I was trying not to think about what she must have experienced.

“Is it okay if we don’t do it?” she asked. “You were right, to say not. Just for a bit.”

“Of course.”

So we talked a bit more and eventually she had the little cry she needed. Cooling, tickling drops ran down the side of my chest. Then she fell asleep lying on me. She was heavy, but eventually I fell asleep too.

In the morning she was most of the way back to the old Faye. She followed me down to make coffee, in her thin, short robe, and then to and fro between the cupboards, kettle and fridge. She wasn’t embarrassed at her dependency, and I took care to encourage her with smiles and fondling.

“Your hair’s grown,” I admired it. Straight, brown, down to the bottom of her shoulder blades now.

“I ought to get it done really. Not shorter, just whatever.”

“We can book you in with Bridget.”

“It would be good to see her again.”

We crossed from the fridge to the island and put the toast in. Back to the fridge for the juice, butter and marmalade; took it to the table. I put my arm round her broad, strong body and she turned into me and pressed against me. I nuzzled her hair with my nose and ran my hands up and down her back, through the thin robe.

An annoying noisy motorbike roar grew from down the road, then stopped outside the house. I went to open the door, in my long, warm robe.

“Oooh sexy,” mocked Alice, in her sexy leathers.

“How long before you get your six hundred?” I ushered her in.

“Too noisy am I? You need your secret headmaster haven.”

She took off her helmet, boots, gloves, pack and jacket and came through to the kitchen. No makeup, but her face was still cute.

“Hi Faye.”

“Hi Alice.”

“Breakfast?” I waved Alice towards a chair. Nobody knew whether to kiss or not. Alice sat down smiling but without kissing anybody, while the energy in the room switched from peaceful to electric. Alice seemed blithely unaware it was too early for visiting.