Chapter 1

I’m a weak and very submissive sissy shemale who enjoys being dominated by real men. I’m very sensitive to both physical and emotional pain, yet I crave it and actively encourage men to hurt me. I don’t know why, and I don’t care! When I got locked up I was raped, beaten, and sold to a brutal prison pimp, who turned me out as his whore. I was not allowed to set any boundaries regarding what a trick could do to me, only to make sure I was paid. I was given a quota each day and if I came up short I was beaten severely. I did my time in fear and misery, but I grew to look forward to having sex with these men. I grew to think of myself as female. Now, when I’m in the booths at the adult video store, on my knees naked, my mouth stuffed full of rigid meat, and an angry man is pinching my bare tits so hard I want to scream in pain, but all I can do is make strangling, garbled noises, tears and snot running down my face until he cums. They usually dress quickly and leave without a word, as if they were stepping away from a urinal, their needs met. Sometimes they walk out of the booth without bothering to close the door, leaving me naked and used on the filthy floor, and anyone can look in and see my humiliation. But I don’t care! I LIKE the harsh treatment and humiliation! In fact it’s only with men like that that I get my true sexual satisfaction. Later, at home, I stand bare in just my high heels in front of the full length mirror, and admire the marks and bruises men have put on my body. I get so horny just looking at myself I go in my room and masturbate for hours sometimes.

It began for me soon after puberty. I was horny all the time, masturbating constantly. I began cross dressing then too, wearing my mom’s lipsticks and high heels when she was at work. She was a dancer at a club, and was always going from relationship to relationship. Then she brought home Jose, an ex con who was a bouncer where she worked. Jose was a really cute light skinned Afro-Hispanic guy. He was full of muscles - something my mom loves in a man - and he’d walk around the apartment in just a tank top and his underwear, displaying his buff cocoa brown muscles. I’d listen to my mom and Jose having sex and jerk off at the same time.

Then Jose got fired over an incident at the club, and after that he just hung out at the apartment doing coke, smoking weed, and drinking. I’m really small and slightly built, with delicate features, and during puberty I had developed a pair of small, female breasts which, as you might imagine, embarrassed me to no end. Jose would make jokes about me needing a training bra, and my mom would tell him to stop, but she was laughing too! But until he got fired and was hanging around the house all the time, I never really had any thoughts of him sexually.

I began noticing Jose staring at me. I’d turn and he’d be looking at me, then turn his head away quickly. Subconsciously I began wearing revealing clothing. I’d change into really gay looking shorts and tank top. I know now that I was trying to seduce him, but at the time I was really in the closet. One night when everyone was out, I had put on my mom’s cute little black silk shorty robe, a pair of her high heels, and I applied some hot pink lipstick to my full, pouty lips. I had put on the stereo and was dancing to Lady Gaga and I didn’t hear Jose come in. Suddenly the stereo stopped and I heard a long low wolf whistle. I turned - it was Jose - leaning against the door jamb, his buff arms crossed, and he was smiling. “Jose -” I started to say, but he put a finger to his lip in a shushing gesture, and closed the door behind him.

I fuckin’ KNEW you were a puto, a little queen,” he exclaimed!” I turned to leave but he said: “Whoa, whoa, whoa - hang on a minute! Lemme look atchu, girl! I stood there, completely embarrassed. Lemme see you walk - can you walk in them high heels?”

Well, I could walk in them, in fact I was a natural. from the minute I first stepped into a pair of high heels, I had no problem walking - no awkward ankle turning - they were like extensions of my own feet. So I walked around the room. Jose whistled again. “You pretty, Kevin - maybe even prettier than Jeanette.” Jeanette was my mom’s name. I blushed. “Let’s have a drink,” he said, “Just don’t tell your mom ok?”

It didn’t take long for me to get tipsy. I had gone to my room and changed into a pair of really revealing shorts, and a tank top that showed off my tits. When Jose saw me he was disappointed but he didn’t push it. Just put on some lipstick, honey,” he said. So I had applied the same pink frost that I had been wearing earlier. We put on some music and I was getting drunk and losing my inhibitions, and I was dancing like a female, and when I danced close to him, he reached out and I fell into his lap. I tried to get up but he had his arm around my waist, holding me to him. Then I felt the rigid bump underneath my ass. It took me a second before I realized it was his cock! I snapped my head around to look at him, my eyes wide. He was looking back, a smile on his handsome face. So I wiggled my hips, grinding on it slightly, and he moaned. “Yeah, baby - keep doing that.”