Mayhem in a Pill
Copyright© 2015 by Shinerdrinker
Chapter 48: I Wanna Have Some Fun
“Go ahead and close the door behind you, son.” Coach Fontana had an extra few ounces of Texan in his voice, and the reason was waiting on the other side of the office with a proffered hand. “This here is Mr. Thomasina. He is...”
“I am from the University Interscholastic League in Austin. I am in charge of investigations for the San Antonio area.” The short, obese man with an unfortunate comb-over and ill-fitting suit interrupted Coach Fontana’s introduction. “First of all, Tim, I want to say an incredible season so far, young man. You came out of nowhere and have gotten the good ole eyes of Texas focused on you and Roosevelt High School.” The man’s smile made you want to take a long shower.
“Thank you, sir,” Tim returned while sitting down. Tim looked at Coach Fontana who looked like he was trying to think of a way to burn the chair the man was sitting in after he left ... or maybe while he was still sitting in it. “How can I help you? I was in the middle of a test in Journalism.”
“Oh, don’t worry, son, I’ll talk to Mr. Baird, and you can take it later, or we will get you a retake later on today if we don’t finish up here to quick,” Coach Fontana explained.
“Well, I still don’t know why am I here,” Tim stated with a bit of cheerfulness in his voice, hoping to bring the tension down in the room.
“Timothy, there has been a grievance filed against you with the UIL.” Both Tim and Coach Fontana visibly leaned forward in their seats. “The grievance states they believe you are using some form of performance-enhancing substance and, by seeing you first-hand, I understand a little bit more about the veracity of the allegation.” The grease holding his comb-over down across his bald head appeared to be melting before everyone’s eyes. The investigator leaned toward Tim, “Is this true, son?”
“Just a second! You think I’m using drugs?”
“Oh, no son, it’s not me. I am here to begin an investigation into the possibility that you may be either accidentally or purposefully using performance-enhancing drugs to help your high quality of play. Let’s face the facts, son; you came outta nowhere and seem to be running roughshod over everyone you play, and look at you. We at the UIL want to make sure there is no one harming you or forcing you into using substances to gain an unfair advantage over the other boys.”
Tim turned and just stared blankly at Coach Fontana, waiting for the older man to start fighting these lies. He did not have to wait very long. “Okay, now hold on a second there Mr. Thomasina. There is no need for you to be throwing accusations like that at this young man who, by all I have seen and learned of the young man, has no need or use for any damned drugs for an unfair advantage over everyone else.”
“Oh, don’t get me wrong, Coach. I’m not making any accusations. I’m just informing both Mr. Murphy here and yourself that allegations have been made, forcing the beginning of an investigation, and we will be looking into these accusations to confirm their authenticity or if the person who filed the grievance is merely mistaken. I am confident these questions can be cleared up in a hurry.”
“And how do you suggest we do that, Mr. Thomasina?” Coach Fontana challenged as he sat back further into his chair. Tim worried a little when it appeared the coach was going to bow down to what the sweaty man in the suit was going to suggest.
“Oh, well, we will need blood and urine samples from Timothy here to make sure he does not have any foreign substances in his body currently. I have the proper kits with me right here,” Mr. Thomasina patted the large suitcase on the floor by his chair.
“First of all, Coach, I don’t use any drugs, performance-enhancing or otherwise,” Tim announced to both men emphatically, “and secondly, I would like to have my father here seeing as how we are talking about my bodily fluids. My dad is a nurse, and well, he is my dad.”
Mr. Thomasina’s smile fell while Coach Fontana’s grew when Tim asked for his dad to be present. “Tim, why don’t you call your dad and see if he can come down here to discuss this a little bit further. Mr. Thomasina, why don’t the three of us take a walk over to Principal Sanders’ office because, if we are going to be taking blood and urine samples from a student on school grounds, I’m pretty sure he is going to want to know what is going on as well.”
Raymond, Tim’s dad, looked at the name on the caller ID and answered the phone on the second ring. “Hey, Tim, what’s going on? Is something wrong?”
“Well, I guess it’s how you look at it. I got pulled out of class because a representative from the UIL is asking me to give both a blood and urine sample because someone has accused that I am using performance-enhancing drugs to play ball. Coach Fontana figured you might want to be present.”
“I might, at that. Are you with the coach, now?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Put him on.”
“This is Coach Fontana. Good morning, Mr. Murphy.” Tim and Mr. Thomasina were both listening to the one-sided conversation between Tim’s dad and the head coach. “Sounds good to me. Rest assured there will be nothing done to your son until you get here. You have my word on that. We will meet you at the principal’s office up in the main office area. His office is bigger than mine so we can be more comfortable. See you in a few minutes. Here is your son again.” Coach Fontana returned Tim’s phone.
“Yeah, dad?”
“Don’t let anybody stick you with anything or let them get you to sign anything until I get there. I’ll be there in about fifteen or twenty minutes.” Raymond hung up the phone and told his secretary what was going on and, if they needed him, to call him on his cell.
After a few minutes of discussion, Coach Fontana led Tim and Mr. Thomasina out of his office and toward the school’s front office. Tim stopped at his favorite vending machine just outside of the boy’s locker room and bought a Hawaiian Punch. “Oh, I’m sorry. Did either of you want one?” They both said no and continued their march to the principal’s office.
The three walked into the primary office with Coach Fontana looking for the school leader. The head secretary directed everyone into the conference room beside Principal Sanders’ office. The door opened, and Tim heard his father introducing himself to Principal Sanders as they both entered the conference room. He was quickly brought up to date on what was happening.
“Well now, Big John, you ever heard of anything like this before?” Principal Sanders asked.
“Well I have, of course, heard of players being accused of steroid use before; but the UIL usually just called from the state office BEFORE they send someone down to collect the samples themselves.”
“It’s a new office procedure. Since they were able to hire more people like me to run the investigations, the UIL could station people all over the state to perform investigations quickly and properly without having to send teams out from Austin or to send people to Austin for the tests. We’ve been using it for a couple of years. I understand that you and the school probably have no idea if this young man has broken any rules.” Mr. Thomasina explained.
“Hey, I haven’t broken any rules. I haven’t taken anything to help.” Raymond grabbed his son’s arm before he started to stand up while defending himself.
“I wholeheartedly agree with my son. He is NOT using any illegal, or matter of fact, he is not even using legal drugs. Hell, when Tim told me about the salt pills and vitamins you give the boys before a game with their pre-game meals, I had them checked to be sure there was nothing strange in them,” Raymond said to the group seated at the large conference room table.
“Mr. Thomasina, I’m sure you have run into this problem every time you have had to begin this particular type of investigations. What do you do to solve this problem?” Principal Sanders queried of the man seated across the table from everyone else.
“Well, first, we interview the immediate coaches to see if there has been an increase in altered mood, irritability, and increase in aggression or if there have been any reports of depression or perhaps even suicidal tendencies,” Thomasina advised.
“Well, I have been his head coach since the third week of the season, so the fifth week as a student at this school, and I have not seen any changes like the ones you suggest, in that time. I have also heard no reports of anything like that from any of my coaches or any other players. Tim is well-liked by his peers and even very well-respected by the older players on the team who are already turning to him as a position of authority with the team,” Big John added.
“Could you give an example of these new feelings from the older players?” Thomasina requested.
“Well, he was recently promoted to the varsity and his performance on the field during games as well as during practice has made all the players look up to him. Not only because of his outstanding play but also because of his attitude of helping the rest of his team.”
Thomasina turned and asked Tim to characterize his place among the team, himself. “Tim, why do you worry about the other players on the team? Don’t you want to get your stats and be noticed for your play?”
Tim stopped for a second, took a drink from his Hawaiian Punch, and then answered the question. “Well, it looks to me that my ‘team-first’ attitude is getting me noticed.” Everyone in the room smiled, even Mr. Thomasina. “Stats are fine, and getting mentioned in the paper or online is fun, too, but if I can get a win by taking out the side of an offensive line and set up my teammates to make plays, then they will become better players. Heck, they want to have stats and get mentioned in the paper just like I do.
“I have a couple more years here before I can graduate. In that time, I want to help rebuild this program into a program that the other schools in the state don’t just automatically put into the easy win aisle when they think about their season. I want them to start worrying about playing against Roosevelt weeks before they do. Then, we are in their heads, and there we can do some damage.” Principal Sanders and Coach smiled and nodded their approvals to what Tim had said.
“All of that is well and good, son, but still you have to admit that your rise and your skill are difficult to comprehend, especially since this is your first year of playing football anywhere, as far as I can ascertain,” Thomasina noted, to which Tim revealed the story of what happened to him over the summer.
“Well, son, I for one am glad you were okay, but now I kinda want to find another of those tapeworms to help me out,” Thomasina joked while patting his stomach.
“Timothy,” Thomasina paused. “Tim, while I believe what you are saying is all true, the UIL still needs to act on the allegation. While I can’t divulge who made the original accusations, I can tell you all that the investigation does need to go forward.”
“So what are you suggesting Mr. Thomasina?” Principal Sanders asked.
“Well, I still need to go through with at least the drug and urine tests to point out, factually, that Tim here does not use any performance-enhancing drugs.”
“Well, no offense to you, Mr. Thomasina, but how do we know you won’t do something to the samples and cause a false positive and throw my son under the bus?”
Thomasina sat still, deep in thought, for a few seconds. “You could always go to Austin and have the test done there. We would have to get it done today. We would not want Tim to do something to change the results by taking any masking agents.”
“Okay, then. Set it up. I’ll drive Tim straight to the offices in Austin, and we’ll get the test done there,” Raymond accepted. He then turned to his son and put his hand on his shoulder. “I hope you didn’t have any tests today because it looks like you get a free day off.” Everyone snickered, even Thomasina.
“That’s fine, but I wanna come back for practice. I don’t want to miss that.”
“Okay, you have an excused absence for the day, but practice without going to school that day is something that we can’t have. I think that would break UIL rules. Am I right, Mr. Thomasina?” Principal Sanders checked.
“Unfortunately, you are correct. If you’re absent from the day of school, then you can’t participate in any extra-curricular school activities.”
Tim looked defeated. “It’s alright, son. I’ll give you the day off, but I do have some film I was going to show the defense about our next opponent. I’ll forward a copy of the video to you and tell you what to watch out for,” Big John offered with a crooked smile on his face.
Mr. Thomasina called the head office and got the address of the lab the state used to run the tests. They had a nurse there to oversee the taking of samples.
About two hours later, Tim and his father were back in the family car returning to San Antonio from Austin. The highlight of their visit to the state capital was the reaction of the nurse when they were about to draw blood from him. He was wearing one of his Polo shirts that tightly tugged around his bicep. He sat down in front of the nurse, where she had all the tools to extract some blood. She explained how the hardest part of taking blood was finding a vein. Tim smiled and flexed just once, and several large veins popped up out of the skin all around his arm. When the nurse turned around with a prepped needle to extract some of Tim’s blood, not having seen Tim flex, she gasped loudly and almost dropped the needle.
“Well, how about lunch?” Raymond asked his son as they drove back home to San Antonio. “Are you okay?” Raymond needed to ask, a little stronger to get Tim’s attention.
“Huh? Oh, yeah. Sorry, dad, I was thinking about who would have done this to me?”
“Don’t worry about that, Tim. Look, I know you are smart enough to have known that eventually, you would get onto someone’s bad side with the more and better you played each week. Sooner or later, you were going to piss off just the right guy, and they were going to use their ways to push back. A couple of weeks back, I talked to Dr. Johnson from the Booster Club, and he told me a couple of horror stories about these colleges when they start coming after you to sign with their school. It’s something I’m not looking forward to, but I have been talking to a few others. They are giving me ways to make sure that I can keep looking out for you.
“The more I think about it, maybe that was someone getting the ball started by putting out whispers that you are juicing. The test results should shut all that shit up quick, fast, and in a hurry. I’m figurin’ on taking this all as a sign of you doing the right thing and pissing off people who are not used to not getting their way.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right, Dad. Hey, what do you say to some lunch? I’m starving.”
Raymond laughed and rolled his eyes. “Yes, son.”
“No, shit! Damn, did you get the results back yet?” Johnnie Boynes asked on the phone after practice.
“Oh yeah, Coach Fontana called and said the results all came back negative. No foreign substances were in either my blood or urine samples.”
“Was there ever any doubt?”
“Not on my end, but Big John didn’t back me immediately, but when the guy, this investigator started talking about taking blood and urine samples right then and there, he was like ‘hold up a minute,’ and he moved us all to the principal’s office and had me bring my dad down. After the meeting, we drove up to the UIL office in Austin and gave the blood and urine samples.
“Right after, we came back home, and I could have gone back to classes right after lunch, but the principal told me to take the day off, so me and my dad went to lunch, and he decided to call it a day, too. We all sat at home and vegged in front of the TV. My mom was pissed cause we would not let her watch her shows, but I went to my room and looked over the film, same as you guys, and watched for what they were going to hammer down your throats this afternoon. What happened in school that I missed?” Tim requested.
“Not much. Oh no, hang on, Troy Williams and Cindy Diefendorf got into a huge yelling bout before practice. I didn’t hear any of it, just the kids all oohing and aahing to everything they said. They didn’t even try to move out of everyone’s way. Rumor has it that Troy thinks Cindy was cheating on him, but she said she didn’t, and then the coaches broke it all up and told everybody to go their way. I haven’t heard anything else,” Johnnie explained as happily as a high school kid talking about rumors could be.
“Well, I guess we’ll find out more about it tomorrow.”
“Ah, bullshit! You know it, and I know it. I know it has to have something about her calling you. You never told me what happened after that. Now come on bitch, inquiring minds want to know,” Johnnie said impersonating a California Valley girl.
“Nothing to tell. It turned out there is a girl on the Patriots who needed help with her homework, and she thought trying to make it sound like a sexy hook up would be the best way to get my attention.”
“Yeah, I don’t buy that. I buy her not fuckin’ an ugly cuss like you, but her trying to score some big D for a girlfriend of hers?” Johnnie said. “Nope, don’t fuckin’ buy it.”
“Well if they are breaking up it’s got nothing to do with me. I’m too busy trying to dodge drug screens and other shit like that,” Tim announced.
“Ha. Friggin’ ha. You probably don’t even take aspirin for a headache. Only bad chemicals you put in your temple would be a couple of punches from the Hawaiian isles.”
“Now that is the clean truth,” Tim agreed with his new best friend. “So no one’s upset I missed practice today?”
“Naw, man. Now if you would have missed class on Friday and, as such, could not play Friday night, well then you’d have a couple of upset mutha fuckas, but you aren’t planning on missing tomorrow are you?” Johnnie needled.
“Nope. I’ll be there with pretty pink ribbons in my hair.”
“Shit. You’d probably start a new fashion trend. Bitches all over Roosevelt are tying pink ribbons in their hair just like that beautiful Tim Murphy,” Johnnie joked.
“Ha. Friggin’. Ha. Asshole.”
“See you tomorrow.”
“Mañana.”
Tim put his cell phone down and fired up the desktop to watch the videos from Big John again.
The rest of the week was uneventful. The next day, Troy Williams and Cindy Diefendorf were hand-in-hand and in direct defiance of the school’s PDA rules. Tim decided the two must have figured it out between themselves, and he was happy about being out of that particular drama.
Tuesday was back to usual, and football practices were what he needed to get past it all.
On Friday, Roosevelt was playing against the Johnson Jaguars. Johnson was a newly opened school within the district. The school had only been participating in varsity football for three years, and this was the fourth and their first senior class to go through their complete high school experience as one school. The school was a lot like Reagan in wealth, but they had not yet had a reputation for being stuck-up, and they had not done anything as a school to earn that reputation. They already had a reputation for quality play. They had not yet gained their first win, but they had not been blown out of any games either.
Tim was walking the field before kickoff, made his way to the center of the field, and looked up at the stands. Even though it was still a good half hour until kickoff, the stands on the Roosevelt side was filling up quickly. He saw his sister first as she was at the fence line watching the cheerleaders. Then he saw his parents looking at him, so he waved, and they waved back. He decided to tell his parents about his decision to go out after the game instead of going straight home, so he quickly jogged over before the coaches yelled at him. When they saw him jogging over, Raymond got up from his seat, handed his nachos over to his wife, and made his way down to the fence separating the stands from the field. “Hey, I wanted to let you know I’m probably going to go out after this win so no need to meet me afterward at the locker room.”
“Okay, I’ll tell your mom, but you tell your sister. She loves being congratulated by everybody after the games for being your sister,” Raymond said as he pointed to his daughter coming toward them at her fastest speed.
“Hey, Tim, you better get back out there, or they are gonna yell at you,” the precocious fourth-grader said when she reached her brother and father.
“I will in a sec, but I wanted to tell you I got invited to a party for the football team tonight, after the game, and I’m gonna go, so you guys don’t have to pick me up.
The little girl was disappointed. “But you are still gonna win, right?”
“Of course.”
“Oh good, I promised everybody that you were gonna win so don’t make me a liar.”
“I’ll try not to, but don’t go promising something you can’t do yourself.”
“Okay, but I’m pretty sure I’m faster than these, um, who are these guys you are playing tonight?”
“They are the Johnson Jaguars. You know what a Jaguar is, right?”
“I think so, but I’m not sure. What is it?”
“It is a big, scary and fast cat with big claws,” Tim described as he reached for his sister and tried to fake eat her hand when he grabbed it. She exploded in laughter, and she was instantly over not being able to see her brother after the game.
“I’ll see you guys later.” He let go of his sister, took a couple of steps back, and waved to his mom, who was still up in the stands. Then Tim turned around and jogged back to the locker room rather than continue his stretches.
“What was that all about, Ray?”
Raymond took back his nachos, half as much as were there previously. He sent a perturbed glare at his wife. She just smiled with a small dollop of cheese sauce on her lip. He kissed her on the other side of her mouth and then swiped the blob off her lips with his finger. She was slightly embarrassed and grabbed a napkin from the small pile they had with them.
“Tim is going to a party with some of his friends from the team after the game tonight, so we don’t need to pick him up after the game. Carmen already told him he needed to win since she promised her friends he would win.”
The fourth-grader was sitting on the other side of her mom and happily chewing on a corn dog. She had slathered it with ketchup, some of which made it into her mouth.
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