Chapter 41: Christmas Break, Part II

December 1978

On Friday, Stephanie and I did our usual morning routine and then I worked on the programs for Doctor Grossi. I had figured out how to make the connections between the pets and the owners and was working on a way to create invoices. I was confident that we’d have it working well enough for him to test it by the end of January.

Joyce arrived to pick me up at 5:00pm for our date. We deviated from our usual pattern in that we didn’t make love before she cooked and we ate. Afterwards, we sat on the couch drinking hot cocoa that she made.

“I had a pleasant talk with Jennifer yesterday,” Joyce said. “She’s really nice. And she really loves you.”

“Yes, that’s true.”

“I really love you, too. And she knows that. I’m glad you’ve been totally honest with both of us. It makes me feel a lot better. She’s way more tolerant of your other girls, I noticed.”

“That’s true for now. In the future, that will change.”

“Yes, I know you’ve said that. But I still think I’m right about you. And if I was rational about it, I’d end it. But I’m not rational about it. I guess I can’t see how Jennifer can be so approving of your, well, screwing anyone who asks nicely.”

“I don’t know either,” I said. “It’s just, well, Jennifer. It could be that we were best friends before we first made love and her original plan was just to fool around with me from time to time. But then she realized she was in love with me and wanted to change the relationship. That led to a total mess, including Jennifer and me breaking up.”

“We talked about that. Becky seems to be a real problem for you. It’s like you keep being drawn back into her web. She’s the only one I’m truly worried about. I don’t know her, but from what Jennifer says, she’s not good for you. It’s funny, because Jennifer doesn’t say that about any of the other girls.”

“My sister agrees with you, by the way.”

“Then why see her?”

“I don’t know. There’s just something that keeps pulling me back to her. I was madly in love with her at one point. That’s faded, but the feeling isn’t completely gone.”

“Then just cut her off before something bad happens. Listen to Stephanie. If anyone has your best interest in mind, it’s her. And because she’s your sister, it’s not like she’s vying for long-term relationship like Jennifer and I are. She already has one.”

“You think so?”

“Yes. From what I can tell, Stephanie’s right about pretty much everything. I think Jennifer agrees with me on that.”

I wondered if Joyce knew everything. I doubted it. She had her suspicions, of course, but we hadn’t discussed it.

“She’s a wonderful sister,” I agreed. “So where are we?”

“Same place. I want to be with you. I want a future with you. I’m concerned about your ability to be faithful long-term.”

“I wish I could make you feel better about that.”

“Just be you. That’s who I fell in love with. I knew everything before we made love. You never lied. Just keep doing that and let me try to deal with it, OK?”

“Sure,” I agreed. “Say, how did things go with Connie?” I asked, as much to change the subject as to find out more.

“That little vixen told me that her goal is to get you to take her virginity in my bed!”

I laughed, “That’s just not going to happen, no matter how badly she wants it!”

“I’m half-tempted to let her. I mean, you do it with pretty much any girl who asks nicely and fits your type.”

“Come on, don’t you think that would make it worse? And she’s not really my type.”

“I said half-tempted. She’d go nuts after you did it. First off, she couldn’t tell anyone about us doing it in her bed. Second, she’d never find anyone her age who screws like you do with your laser focus. Third, it would be one time and she’d never have you again. Like I said, she’d go completely insane.”

“That’s a really bad idea, and you know it.”

“Maybe,” she said.

And then it dawned on me why she was considering it.

“Be honest. If I did that, you would use it as a reason to break up with me, wouldn’t you?”

She started crying, and I knew I was right.

“I love you,” I said. “But if being with me is that hard, why do it?”

“Because I love you,” she sobbed.

I pulled her into my arms and held her. To me, it felt like our relationship was doomed. I was afraid that she might actually be right, that I couldn’t stay in a committed, exclusive relationship. I’d failed to do that so far. And certainly, at the moment, I didn’t want to. Was I developing a pattern for the future?

“What do you need from me?” I asked.

“Just love me, please. Do your best to love me.”

“Always,” I said. “Always.”

We never did make love. It just didn’t feel right to me. We cuddled on the couch until it was time for her to take me home. When she dropped me off, she got out of the car and hugged me tight. We exchanged a loving kiss and said goodnight.

I went to write in my journal. I had not been able to find a program that would let me write text on my Apple! I had talked to a guy at Micro Center and he told me to talk to an Apple user group. They had heard of a couple of projects being worked on, but the programs weren’t available. I had written to John Draper and asked him to ask about getting a copy of ‘Easy Writer’, which he was known in the user groups community to be working on, but hadn’t heard back.

I was struggling with the situation with Joyce. I was pretty sure we were on a downward spiral. Stephanie thought Jennifer was a better choice and in many ways, she seemed to be. But I remembered settling on Joyce in my mind not that long ago. I knew that eighteen months from now I’d be coming back from Sweden and things would be different no matter what I did.

I didn’t sleep well that night.

Saturday was typical. I swam and ate with Stephanie, went to work, had lunch with Jennifer, walked over to the drugstore to buy some condoms, and fended off Kim’s flirting advances. Fortunately, she didn’t seem to be upset, and she did say she’d gone on a date the night before.

“Oh? Have a good time?” I asked with a wink.

“It was our first date! Give me a break,” she laughed, waving a finger at me. “But if you’re free after work, then I would!”

“Sorry, I’m hanging out with my girlfriend,” I said with a smile.

She stuck her tongue out at me.

“Don’t do that unless you plan to use it!” I said reflexively.

“You know, I never did get to use it.”

I chuckled, “Save it for a boyfriend!”

At quitting time, Mrs. Spencer picked me up, drove to Jennifer’s house to get her, then took us to see Melanie. Jennifer and I had agreed our date night would be spending as much time with Melanie as she could handle. She had been doing better, but as we’d seen at the party, she faded fast at times.

The first thing we noticed was that the bed had been removed from the living room. I asked her about it.

“My Christmas present,” Melanie said. “I’m back in my room. We can go up there if Steve can carry me up the stairs.”

I gathered her in my arms and carried her up to her room and put her on her bed and pulled the comforter over her because she was wearing loose fitting shorts and a very loose fitting top with wide arms, both to accommodate the casts.

“One of you wouldn’t want to cuddle me, would you?”

Jennifer and I looked at each other. She nodded to me and I climbed into bed next to Melanie and put my arm around her. She snuggled close, her left arm with its cast on my chest. Jennifer pulled the desk chair close to the bed and sat down.

“How are you doing today?” I asked the injured girl in my arms.

“I still get tired pretty quickly, but I have a lot less pain. The physical therapy for my arm is going to suck. On the plus side, I get the cast off my leg in a couple of weeks. I’ll have to wear this brace thing for a while, but I’ll be able to walk.”

“That’s good!” I said.

“Yeah, but they say I’ll get tired easily. I hope it’s not worse than it already is!”

“Healing is tough. How’s the therapy going?”

“Good, I guess. I have to find out why I wanted to kill myself. I don’t feel like that now, but I’m afraid that I could in the future.”

I hugged her tight, and she sighed with satisfaction.

A few minutes later, her mom came to the door and told us dinner was almost ready.

“Steve, Jennifer, can you help me put on my sweatpants and a sweater? They’re in the top drawer of my dresser.”

Jennifer got them and together we dressed Melanie. When we had finished, I carried her down to the table and sat her in her chair. I sat next to her and Jennifer sat across from her. I helped Melanie with her meal, cutting her meat for her, and doing anything that required two hands. It felt really intimate.

Dessert was ice cream and Jennifer and I swapped places so Jennifer could help her. Melanie was loving the special attention from both of us, but I thought that Jennifer helping her with the ice cream really drove home that we loved her. I seemed like Melanie was making significant progress, but I also worried because I felt that she was still very fragile.

After dinner, I carried Melanie back upstairs and Jennifer helped her get ready for bed. Seeing Melanie in just panties was a treat, but sex was still a far-off thought. Jennifer got into bed with her to cuddle and I sat in the chair. We chatted for about thirty minutes until it was clear that Melanie was beat and needed to sleep. I leaned over and kissed Melanie good night, then Jennifer did the same. We went downstairs and Mrs. Spencer drove us to Jennifer’s house for the rest of our date.

I knew Jennifer wanted to make love, but I felt it was best if we spend time with her parents. We ended up playing Uno and talking with her mom and dad until around 10:00pm. I was trying to use the same strategy on her parents that I used on Becky’s, and it seemed to be meeting with success.

We did spend about twenty minutes in the basement, necking and talking before her mom took me home. Jennifer reluctantly acknowledged that we shouldn’t be quite so blatant about sex with her parents and she said her dad did really like me. I told her to be patient and let me continue developing a relationship with him.

December 31, 1978 — New Year’s Eve

On Sunday, New Year’s Eve, Stephanie and I swam and ate breakfast together. I didn’t go to church but instead stayed home and worked on the programming project. Stephanie was home just before 11:00am. Mrs. Krajick picked us up at 11:30am. My mom had tried at the last minute to stop Stephanie from going on the double-date, but Dad told her it wasn’t right to do that a few minutes before the date when she’d known about it for a couple of days. I knew something was going to happen, I just didn’t know what.

When we got to Frisch’s, I was a bit surprised to see Ed take Stephanie to a booth for two, but I realized that Bethany didn’t need Ed’s support and this way those two could feel like it was a proper date. I told Stephanie to bring me the check when they were done, and Bethany and I got our own booth.

Bethany saw my look and said, “I asked Ed to get a separate booth. I want to talk.”

“Sure,” I agreed. “What’s up?”

“Let’s order first, OK?”

We made our selections and gave them to the waitress.

“How are you doing?” I asked.

“I guess I’m a normal, reasonably well-adjusted, horny teenager!” she giggled.

I chuckled, “Good! That’s how it’s supposed to be! What does Doctor Mercer say?”

“Well, I can distill it down to a sentence that neither you nor she would ever say, but I would say you fucked me back to normal!”

I burst out laughing.

“Anyway,” she continued. “I think we’re almost to a point where I’m done seeing her regularly and will just call her if I have a crisis.”

“That’s good!”

“Yeah, I am feeling pretty normal now.”

“So, what’s up with you and Brad Green?”

“We went out for a couple of months. It just didn’t click in the end. It started out fine, but the more I got to know him, the more I realized he wasn’t the guy for me. We never got beyond fairly simple kissing.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” I said.

“Don’t be. I was asked out, said yes, and went out on about ten dates. That’s a good thing. I wasn’t uncomfortable, and I had a good time with him. He’s just not the guy for me.”

“Any other prospects?”

“Not at the moment.”

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

“Well, what we just discussed was part of it. Do you remember the walk we took after Kathy’s party?”

“Sure. I remember promising to answer any questions you had.”

“You did, but that’s not the part I want to discuss.”

“I’m not sure there’s anything left to discuss about Josh. As much as I would like to see him dead, I know that’s a bad idea.”

“No, not that, either,” she said.

It hit me before she said it.

“You said that you would offer to show me any of that stuff, or if I really wanted, let me join in with a group, but that you didn’t think any of that was my style.”

“I did,” I said, nodding slowly. “And I also distinctly recall saying that you were off-limits. I said that because I also distinctly recall you saying that it had to be a one-time thing once we finished screwing.”

She smiled, “All true. I’m not asking to change that. Well, not at this point.”

It was time to tread very carefully and make sure there was no miscommunication.

“What exactly are you talking about?” I asked.

“First, do you really love me?”

What the hell, I’d stepped on land mines so many times with Bethany that once more couldn’t hurt.

“Of course I love you,” I said. “But it’s not romantic love, if that’s what you mean. I thought that was clear.”

“It is. And I didn’t mean romantic love. I love you too.”

OK. Missed that mine. I was sure another one was in my path.

“What we did that day was screwing. It was therapy. I hope that idea doesn’t bother you.”

“Of course not! I knew that from the get-go. That’s more or less what I signed up for when you demanded that I ask you out on a date. And you just told me that Doctor Mercer basically implied that I screwed you back to normal. That could never bother me. Besides, it was great!”

“Steve Adams, you did not quote me accurately! I definitely said ‘fucked me back to normal’!” she giggled.

“You know I don’t like that word and what it implies!”

“I know. I used it to bug you. The same reason Jennifer uses it, I bet.”

Yeah, and Stephanie, too. I sighed inwardly. Girls!

“In any event,” she continued, then took a deep breath. “Given that ... first, do you think you would be able to make love with me? Not fuck or screw, but make love.”

That was dangerous territory, but I knew what she meant. Not like the therapeutic screw, but something deeper, more loving. And I was pretty sure she didn’t mean it like Jennifer or Joyce, nor would she take it the wrong way like Becky would.

“Please think carefully about what you are asking,” I said gently.

“There you go again, treating me with kid gloves! Would you please stop that? You treated me totally normally and fucked me silly. Can you just treat me like a normal girl, dammit?! You have sex with girls who fit your type and ask nicely. I’m your type. And while I haven’t asked you to do it yet, now I am asking nicely if you could.”

I sighed, “Yes, I could make love to you.”

“So you could show me all that stuff?”

She’d only get angry if I gave anything other than a straight answer.

“ALL of it?”

“Well, no, not the group sex thing or walking down the hall in my house naked or having my mom see us having sex! But everything else?”

“Yes, if you want that! I’m pretty sure doing it with you would be out of this world!”

“Doing what?” she asked firmly, but with an impish smile.

I sighed, “Making love to you, doing all the other stuff like oral sex, heck, anal, if you want it. ALL of it.”

“Uhm, I think I’ll pass on that last one, if that’s OK with you!” she giggled.

I chuckled, “OK, that might have been a bit over the top.”

“No, it wasn’t. Now you’re treating me like a normal girl!”

“So, what is it you’re asking for?”

“Nothing right now,” she said. “I have these, well, urges, and don’t have any outlet. You’re safe.”

“I thought it was a one-time only thing? I know you aren’t asking now, but are you sure about this? I thought you wanted to save all those experiences for a boyfriend?”

“I don’t need to anymore, I guess. Once I let everyone know I wasn’t a virgin, it wasn’t all that important.”

“And now you’re horny?” I smirked.

“That’s your fault, Mr. Steve Adams!”

“Oh no, you don’t! You sought me out for one specific purpose, Bethany Krajick. You got what you wanted and were happy about it!”

She laughed, “That’s true, isn’t it?”

“It is. And if you want to do it again, then ask when you’re ready. Just like the first time.”

“So you would do it?”

“Yes, I would. I need to talk to Jennifer, though.”

“Inviting her? Hmm, now THAT could be a lot of fun!”

My eyes were as wide as saucers and my jaw dropped.

She broke up laughing, “Got you!”

“You’ll pay for that one!” I laughed. “Maybe I’ll turn you over my knee and spank you!”

“Oh would you? Please?” she giggled.

“You’re bad, Bethany Krajick!”

“You have no idea!”

I laughed.

“If I do ask, it’s a one-time thing, OK?”

I chuckled, “Until the next time you’re super horny and don’t have an outlet!”

“Now you’re treating me like a normal person!”

We finished our meal and the four of us sat together to eat ice cream at Graeter’s. Bethany called her mom to pick us up, and we were home about 2:30pm. Vickie would arrive at 4:00pm. My parents would leave around 8:00pm for their dinner and New Year’s Party. Jeff was already at his friend’s house.

When we got home, I went to my room and Mom called Stephanie to talk to her. About twenty minutes later, she came to my room and was clearly upset.

“She said I’m not allowed to go on any more double-dates with you. Period. She says that you’re a bad influence. She told me that I’m way too young to be involved in ‘that kind of thing.’ To me it seemed like she thought I was getting ready to have sex with Ed! It’s not fair!”

“I know,” I soothed. “There isn’t much I can do about it. Maybe she’ll relax a bit when I’m away.”

“Don’t count on it! I think she’s going to be even worse, actually. She said that she’s going to find a way to control you.”

“As long as we follow her rules, Dad will help.”

“He doesn’t help me like he does you!” she whined.

“Squirt, you’re four years younger than I am. I’m sorry, but this is something we’re just going to have to deal with. I know it’s tough.”

“Yeah, but you’re running away for a year to a place she can’t control you. Then you have one year and can go off to college.”

“True. And once I do that, I’m moving out and not coming back to live with them.”

“I’ll miss you, you know?”

“Squirt, I’ll see you as often as I can, don’t worry about that.”

“Next year is going to be difficult not seeing you every day.”

“I know,” I said. “I’ll miss you, too. I’ll talk to Dad and see if I can get anything changed. I doubt it because they almost never overrule each other on stuff like this. Dad is decent about making sure that things he approves don’t get changed, but once she’s made a decision like this in advance, he usually sticks to it.”

She came and hugged me. All of a sudden, she was a little girl who needed her Big Brother. When she broke the hug, she left, so I called Jennifer to talk about Bethany.

“Yes, that’s true,” Jennifer confirmed. “She talked to me at the party.”

“So?” I asked.

“So, it’s up to you!” Jennifer said. “I’m not in control of it any longer. Make your own decision and tell me what you decide.”

“Stop it! Remember the partnership thing? I’m asking for your advice.”

“And you’ll make up your own mind? You’ll do what you think is right?”

“Yes, I will.”

“She’s a very different person now than when you first met her. She’s confident and more outgoing. She’s not afraid of contact with guys — she actually put on a bathing suit at your party and swam. She interacted with everyone the same way we all did. In other words, she’s pretty much normal.”

“She did describe herself as a normal, reasonably well-adjusted, horny teenager!”

“Yes, and she told you why, didn’t she?”

“Yes, she summed it up by saying that Doctor Mercer said I had screwed her back to being normal.”

Jennifer giggled, “That’s not the word she used when she told me, but yeah. She’s also smart, an outstanding student, her personality is pretty strong given what happened to her, and she’s pretty self-confident, enough so to approach you for the possibility of sex and be pretty sure you won’t turn her down.”

“In other words, she’s my type, I have a history with her, she feels safe and she asked nicely.”

“Yes. Now draw your conclusion and make your decision.”

“She’s horny and wants to screw. I enjoyed doing it with her as therapy. I like her. So, I should say yes when she asks.”

“That’s up to you.”

“And you would tell me if you objected for some reason?”

“Yes. Like I did with Becky. Like I did with Kathy. I’m pretty sure Miss Bethany Krajick has an itch she needs scratched. Once that’s done, she’ll be your friend. Eventually, she might have the itch again. Or she might not.”

“That’s what I was thinking as well. You know she joked about a threesome?”

She gasped, “Bethany?”

“Yeah. I was surprised as well. I’m sure she was joking, but it does show that she really is recovering.”

“If she asks, I’m game!” Jennifer said giddily.

“Of course you are! You are so bad, Jennifer! Bethany can NOT be the possible third you teased me about, right?”

“I’m as surprised as you are that she even joked about such a thing. She’ll never ask though, it’s not her style.”

“I agree with you. It’d be right up there with Joyce asking.”

“Now THERE’S an idea! Maybe that’s how we settle this!”

I chuckled, “Jennifer, you’re edging out of control!”

“I know. But the thought of conventional, conservative Joyce, who thinks that sex in her sister’s bed is naughty, in a threesome with you and me, is just too good of a mental image to pass up!”

“I repeat, you are bad, Jennifer Block.”

“I love you Steve. Now go fuck your cousin’s brains out, OK?”

“I love you too, Jennifer. I will!”

Vickie arrived just after 4:00pm and she and Stephanie went to Stephanie’s room to hang out. I shot some pool and played a video game for about an hour.