Chapter 37: Terms and Conditions May Apply

November-December 1978

I woke up Monday as usual and got my trunks. Stephanie was waiting for me, which came as no surprise. We swam our laps, with me again outpacing her. I was sure in a few months she’d be able to keep up. We walked down the hall and she smirked and started to follow me into my room. I decided this was a chance to practice setting limits that Jennifer and I had discussed.

“Stephanie, no!” I said firmly, but gently. “We’re not ready for this yet. You’re not. I’m not. We need limits, at least for the near future. At a minimum, I’m not doing anything at all with you before you get your period. I’m OK with talking about it, and with occasional teasing, but coming into my room now with the intention to get in my shower with me crosses a line we can’t cross right now. I will rock your world when the time is right, Squirt, count on it!”

She said quietly, “OK,” and went to her own room.

Was it really that simple? She didn’t seem upset. I’d find out tonight when I got home. Now I just had to talk to each of the girls in my life and set rules and limits. I’d start with Melanie because I planned to walk to her house after school and see her.

I checked with Dad to make sure it was OK to see Melanie and take her any assignments. This would probably continue for several weeks before she went back to school. Mrs. Spencer would bring me home.

When I got to school, I stopped in the office and let them know that I would be taking Melanie her assignments. They said I could collect them at the end of the day. I sat with the gang at lunch and when we finished eating, Jennifer told me she needed to talk to me and pulled me aside.

“Kathy came and talked to me this morning. She begged me to let you be with her again. I told her that she’d have to talk to you directly because I no longer controlled your social calendar,” she said with a grin.

“You’re loving this, aren’t you? You are so sure I’ll say no that you think it’s funny that she’s going to be frustrated.”

“I would find it hilarious to see her frustrated, but remember, set your own limits and just make sure you communicate them. I suspect you really do want to fuck her again, but I also know why you wouldn’t. I won’t be upset either way.

“I love you, Jennifer.”

“I love you, Steve. So?”

“I have no idea. Probably not. But who knows? Anyway, I talked to the office and I’m going to take Melanie her assignments each day. You’re always welcome to come along, but today I want to talk to Melanie alone.”

“Defining your relationship?”

“I’m going to try, yes. Melanie is easiest of all. Well, not true, Mary is, but I don’t need to change anything there.”

“Are you sure? Ben is clearly OK with her messing around with us. It’s not the same as Pete and Melanie; not the same at all.”

“Actually, that’s no longer true. She and Ben are exclusive. She arranged a threesome with him and then they changed their agreement. Even if they hadn’t, isn’t that one clear limit I’ve set? And stuck to? Well, except that special foursome request.”

“Yes. You’re right. Sorry I suggested it.”

“It’s OK, Jen. We’ll figure this out together. OK?”

“Yes!” she said brightly.

I managed to avoid Kathy for the rest of the day. I was sure she’d find me and I’d have to decide what to do.

At the end of the school day, I went to the office and picked up Melanie’s assignments. Her mom had picked up her books from her locker earlier in the day. I hoped Melanie could keep up and finish the year properly. I suspected her teachers would accommodate.

Melanie was napping when I arrived. Mrs. Spencer told me that she would have surgery on her arm on Wednesday morning. They would be inserting three screws and a rod. Everything else looked good. She could probably come back to school in about ten days, though she’d have to use a wheelchair because she couldn’t use crutches with her broken arm.

I sat down in a chair next to her bed and just watched her for about fifteen minutes before she stirred. She smiled when she saw me.

“Hi,” she said rather weakly.

“Hey. How are you?”

“OK, I guess. I have to have surgery on Wednesday and I’m scared.”

“You’ll be fine.”

“Could you come with me?”

I’d have to miss school, but given that I was a straight-A student, I suspected I could talk my dad into it, so long as Mom wasn’t there when I asked.

“I’ll ask my dad. If he writes me a note for school, then yes, I’ll come with you.”

“Thanks.”

“Jennifer and I had a huge fight on the way to her house yesterday.”

“No, please don’t tell me you broke up again! Please!”

“No, it was foreplay.”

“What?”

“Yeah, we fought. She demanded that I fuck her brains out. I hesitated, and she gave me an ultimatum to do it or leave forever. I agreed, but she thought I sounded wimpy. So I told her to get her cute ass upstairs, get naked, and if she didn’t, I’d rip her clothes off and either way I’d fuck her so hard she couldn’t walk. She didn’t take her clothes off, so I ripped her blouse off, cut off her bra and panties with scissors and fucked her so hard she couldn’t walk.”

Melanie started laughing softly.

“Oh my God! What did you guys fight about that led to that? And what got into you?”

“It started out as a discussion of the future, and I made the mistake of mentioning Becky.”

“So?”

“So I’m in charge now. I set the rules and define the limits. Not Jennifer. Not Becky. Not Joyce. Not you. Not Stephanie.”

“Wait, did you change your mind about me?”

“No, Melanie. But I am going to insist that you stick to the limits of what I can give you and accept the relationship on my terms.”

“That might be hard to do, because you limit it so much.”

“As much as I love you, I don’t think we have a future as a couple. You know, I think that you belong with Pete. It’s true that we limited ourselves because of Birgit, but in the end, I don’t think we’re compatible. Oh, we have some of the most exciting sex there is, and you push my limits to the breaking point, but we’re not life partners. Before we can do anything, even the things I mentioned yesterday, you have to accept that limit. Can you?”

“Yes, I can,” she said. “I’m sorry I pushed you on that. We had talked about it. I broke off our arrangement to be with Pete, just as we had agreed would happen. When I messed that up, I was scared, and I tried to push you into something you just couldn’t do. I won’t do that again.”

“Just so we’re clear, if I take you to Prom, and give you a Prom night to remember, you won’t take that as some kind of opening to try to become my wife? I just don’t ever see that happening. I know in the past I’ve not ruled things out, but now I am.”

“I accept that all we can have is a friendship. Well, a friendship where we fuck each other silly from time to time.”

“Yes. And if you truly accept that, then until I make a formal, permanent commitment to someone, and as long as you are not in a committed relationship, we can have ‘appointments’ from time to time. But remember my hard and fast rule about that. Mary and I are done. I’m not changing that. When you and Pete get back together, you and I are done except as very close friends. That’s not negotiable.”

“When?”

“Yes, Melanie, when. I wasn’t kidding about you and Pete. You belong together. He loves you. Call him before and after your surgery. Write to him. See him at Christmas. See him at Spring Break. Start working things out. I expect to get a letter from you when I’m in Sweden saying that you guys are back together, planning to get engaged, and scheduling a wedding.”

“Do you think that’s possible?”

“I’m sure of it. But you’ll have to work hard at it, Melanie Spencer. Pete has limits. Learn to live with them. You, of all people, need someone to set limits for you. And if there is something absolutely crazy you want to do, do it with me before I leave and get it out of your system. Of course, I have my limits too, so some fantasies may just have to stay fantasies. But, and hear me Melanie, it doesn’t hurt to ask.”

“I’ll try.”

“Good. I love you. I always have and always will,” I said, taking her hand.

“I love you too,” she said softly, squeezing my hand back.

“It’s time for me to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I kissed her goodbye and went to the kitchen to let her mom know I was ready to head home.

At home, we had dinner and afterwards I found Dad alone. He agreed that because I had straight-A’s, missing a day of school wouldn’t be a problem. He told me to make sure I spoke with all my teachers on Tuesday to get any assignments and find out the material that would be covered when I was with Melanie. I thanked him and called the Spencers to let them know. They’d pick me up at 8:00am on Wednesday.

After the phone call, I did my homework. I was about to pick up the phone when Stephanie came in and shut the door. I was sure she’d read the Journal.

“Big brother, are you mad at me?”

“No Squirt, I’m not mad.”

“But the stuff you wrote about me controlling you like Mom tries to didn’t sound good.”

“Stephanie, did it say I didn’t want you controlling me?”

“No, I guess it didn’t. But after what you said this morning, and after what I read there, I was worried.”

“Don’t worry. Don’t change. Keep doing what you do. I would never have taken the first step towards making love with you. You had to do it. But now that you have, I have to set some limits to keep us safe. You’re still way too young for what you want. I WILL give it to you. And you know what? I think you’re right. It will be the best I’ve ever had or ever will. Nothing will ever compare. I want it to be that good. And I want it to be that good for you. If you trust me, it will be.”

“I trust you Big Bro. If what I saw with Vickie was what it will be like, I think you’re right.”

“What happened with Vickie will be like a boring Monopoly game, like I told her about her first time being so, well, limited.”

“You will let me tease you and stuff before then?”

“Yes. And silly stuff is fine sometimes, but you seemed to be in too much of a hurry. Just slow down and when the time is right, you and I will do what we both want.”

What we’d both always wanted, I left unsaid, admitting to myself that it was something I hadn’t truly realized before.

“Thanks,” she said with a smile.

I just smiled back at her. I knew I had given her license to try to see me naked, and I’d play the same game with her over time. There really wasn’t any harm as long as it was all in fun. It would be a long journey. Before she left, she gave me a hug. To an outside observer, it was a sisterly hug. To me, it held a lot of promises for the future.

I picked up the phone and dialed Becky’s number.

“Hi, Steve! How are you?”

“Good Becky, good. Set something up.”

“What?”

“For Christmas break. Set something up. I’ll come see you.”

“Really?” she squealed.

“Yes, Becky. But it’s on my terms. There are conditions.”

“OK.”

“You heard what I said yesterday about my possible futures. You were right. The only way I can explore the future is through some kind of relationship with you. But, and I want to be totally clear on this, I’m making no commitment of any kind. No promises of anything in the future. It can be discussed, but you can’t take it as a promise of any sort. Can you live with that? Can you live with not being my exclusive girlfriend?”

“Yes! Can I say what I think?”

“Of course.”

“If you’re seeing me, that tells me that there is still a chance. I’ll have to work on Daddy, but I’ll take care of it.”

“So long as you understand, I mean really understand.”

“I do. I also know I’m passion and I think passion wins in the end! Maybe New Year’s Eve again? I can have the New Year’s fun I wanted last year!”

“The day’s fine. As for the other, we’ll see.”

I called Jennifer to let her know I was going with Melanie to her surgery on Wednesday. She said she planned to join me at Melanie’s every day unless I needed to be alone with Melanie for some reason. She also asked when we were going to talk. I suggested we go out on Friday night and talk.

“Just talk?” she asked.

“Jennifer, except when we were split up, when do we always talk?”

“After you screw me silly,” she giggled.

“Exactly.”

Around 9:00pm I finally received the call from Don Joseph’s son, Doctor Grossi. We chatted about what he wanted and he said he’d send me copies of the paper forms he was using so Beth and I could figure out how to get them onto a computer. I’d continue to receive my extra money from Andreas, now increased to $150, would still work Saturdays, but wouldn’t have to do anything extra but work on the programs. Beth would also get $30 per week, more if she worked more than just Sundays.

The increase in cash told me quite a bit. The only reason they would send that kind of money my way was to ensure I knew just how committed I had made myself to them. Joyce had warned me, but I wasn’t concerned. I liked the cash. And I liked the thrill. Of course, programming wasn’t a thrill, but I was sure that some special request would come because of the favor I had asked.

It dawned on me that Beth didn’t have a computer. I could easily lend her my Apple, but probably not the TRS-80. That more or less made the decision as to what kind of computer we would use for this project. Unfortunately, it was the one that was far more expensive. That couldn’t be helped, though, because there was no way mom would allow the TRS-80 to be at Beth’s for a year and she didn’t have the money to buy one.

On Tuesday, as I expected, Kathy Will found me between classes.

“Steve! Jennifer says she isn’t controlling your social calendar! Did you break up?”

“No Kathy, we didn’t break up. We just changed our relationship a bit.”

“She said I should just come ask you. So can we? Please?”

“I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”

“But I only got you once that night. You made me get dressed and stop when I asked about doing it with you another day.”

“That’s because I set a limit and you were trying to break it just because I had given you a few orgasms.”

“I know. It was a mistake. I’m sorry. I want to do it multiple times in one night. Can we?”

“If, and I’m not agreeing to anything, but if we did, there are clear limits. I’m not going to be your boyfriend. Period. I’m with Jennifer. We have a kind of open relationship right now because I’m going to Sweden next year and she doesn’t want to stand between me and the scores of hot blondes I’ll have access to. But she is my girlfriend. You can’t be. Also, it’s on my schedule. I am super busy, especially with my friend Melanie’s problems. I also work. And I’m working on a project with Beth Pater for the student council. So it would only be occasional. I’ve told you the conditions, but I need to think about it myself. If you can accept those limits, then ask me next Monday and I’ll give you an answer.”

“OK!”

I was pretty sure my answer would be ‘no’, though now that she had a little experience, it might be a lot better. And I was really tempted by how her pussy had felt. But I had too many other things to worry about to think about it right now.

On the plus side, at lunch, Beth Pater changed seats and was sitting next to Brent. That was a very good sign. I’d miss the diversion, but I’d still have my programming buddy. I did get a chance to tell her about the phone call and she was very happy with the money. She was ecstatic when I told her about letting her borrow the computer for a year while I was gone.

Tuesday afternoon, Jennifer walked with me to Melanie’s to deliver the day’s assignments. Melanie was awake when we got there. She told us she had trouble concentrating for long periods of time, so it was hard to do all the work, but each day she was getting a little bit better. She just broke up the work into small bits and did them between naps.

Melanie was really happy I was going with her to the surgery, even though I’d have to sit in the waiting room while it was done. Jennifer and I just sat with her for 30 minutes. I held Melanie’s ‘good’ hand most of that time. When it was time to go, Jennifer and I both kissed her on her lips and she beamed like she usually did.

Wednesday turned out to go fairly well, at least from my perspective. I sat with Melanie while they prepped her and put in a Lactated Ringer’s IV, which reminded me of Emergency! on TV. When it was time for her to go to the operating room, I gave her a deep kiss, told her I loved her, and watched them wheel her away.

Two hours later, the doctor came out and said they were done. She’d be in recovery for a time and then we could see her. She’d be able to go home as soon as the full effects of the general anesthesia wore off. They gave her mom a prescription for even stronger pain pills for the first week following surgery. After that, she’d transition to Tylenol.

About an hour after the surgery, Melanie was back in her room and we went to see her. She looked extremely tired and was a bit out of it. The nurse explained that Melanie would be a bit groggy for another hour, and then she could probably go home. I just sat with her and held her good hand. When it was time to discharge her, they wheeled her out, and we helped her get into the car. At home, we helped her into her bed in the living room. She said “I love you Steve,” and promptly fell asleep. Mrs. Spencer took me home and said she’d stop by the school to get the day’s assignments.

Jennifer called as soon as she got home from school and I told her that everything had gone well. After dinner, I called Joyce to see how she was doing.

“I told Connie what we did. Oh boy, is she mad! I love it.”

“Joyce Abbadelli, you are naughty!” I said, scolding her with a big grin she couldn’t see, “What if she tells your mom?”

“Mom won’t believe it.”

“Your mom knows you’re on the Pill, knows you were home alone, and knows we date. She might.”

“She’ll think Connie is just making things up because she’s jealous. Mom would never think I would do anything like that.”

“Well, I suppose so, because I sure didn’t expect it! But I’m a bit concerned that Connie might decide to try even harder to get me.”

“What?”

“Well, if she’s really upset, what’s the one thing she could do to get even?”

“Oh! I hadn’t thought of that. You better not!” she giggled.

I laughed. “I won’t. Trust me. Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Are you happy with our relationship? With the limits that I’ve set?”

“Yes. I told you that if I wasn’t, I’d stop seeing you. Why?”

“Because I’m just thinking more about our conversation. And about being gone for a year. And whether I’m being fair to you.”

“Steve, you never lied to me. You were up front from the beginning. I knew the limits of what you could do then and what you can do now. I see a future for us; in fact, I think I’m the best future for you, but I’m not counting on it. I want it, sure, but I realize that you can’t commit now, and maybe not for a long time. The only way to have a chance to get what I want is to have a relationship with you, and I can only do that on your terms.”

“Well, you could make me an offer I couldn’t refuse,” I laughed. “Or maybe your grandfather could!”

“Careful there, Steve. He called you «figlio mio» so you might not be that far off. But, remember, I said I can deal with grandfather. It’s me you have to worry about!” she giggled.

“I love you, Joyce!”

“I love you too, Steve! When can I see you?”

“How’s a week from Friday? This week is crazy! If that doesn’t work, then the following Saturday?”

“Friday is good. I’ll pick you up at 4:30pm.”

“Plans?”

“What do you think? Screw, then dinner, then screw! Get me hot enough and I might even suck you again! But don’t count on it!” she giggled.

She was pushing her self-imposed limits there. If she really wanted to explore outside her comfort zone, I’d help her. I wouldn’t push, but I’d help her.

We both laughed and said our goodbyes.

On Friday, Mrs. Block drove Jennifer and me to David’s Buffet and said to call her when we were ready to be picked up. We ate a lot, but kept the conversation light. The serious conversations almost always happened after one of our ‘connection’ lovemaking sessions. It seems like that was the way for us to get into the right frame of mind. I was pretty sure it had to do with our connection, whatever that was.

And that connection was what constantly pulled me back to Jennifer. It’s what kept me from walking away when she gave me the ultimatum. It’s what kept me from having sex with her until we were truly ready. I had been afraid that the connection would mask the problems, that we’d just bury them in sex.

An unbidden thought popped into my mind. Would Stephanie and I have a connection like that? I laughed silently and thought, yeah, like that. Except more like touching the surface of the Sun! And that alone told me that my limits were even more important. A single touch at the wrong time could ignite a fire we could never put out.

Jennifer and I finished eating and walked arm-in-arm to the apartment. As was typical when we had big issues, we didn’t talk at all on the way, or even when we got inside. We took our clothes off and got into bed. At that point, the connection took over.

It was amazing. With Jennifer, I would be instantly hard and she would be instantly wet. Our bodies were so in tune that no physical foreplay of any kind was necessary. And there was very little that we did alone other than make love. It was on rare occasions, usually pre-planned, that we did other things. For us, this kind of sex was the ultimate expression of our relationship, and everything else seemed to fall away. Oh, we’d play, but in the end this was us. Two connected souls pouring themselves into each other.

There was a slightly different pace today and slightly different needs. Rather than staring slowly and taking our time, my first thrust was deep and hard, met by the bucking of her hips. Through the connection I heard her saying ‘Fuck me!’ without uttering a word. I began thrusting hard into her pussy, the smooth walls creating a delicious friction. When she thrust her hips at me, she ground herself on me before I pulled back for the next stroke. Our hearts beat in time with each other, our breathing was ragged, but in unison; our motions fluid and in complete sync.

Our mutual orgasms overtook us simultaneously, me buried deep in her filling her with my cum, her pussy grasping my dick as tight as her arms and legs grasped my body, her heels digging into my butt, her nails into my back, our muscles taught as we groaned loudly together. I saw stars. I was dizzy. The intense pleasure washed over both of us. We clung to each other, bodies touching along their whole length, sweat making us slick.

I kissed her gently, and we moved to cuddle. Once our hearts and lungs adjusted to our relaxation, it was time to talk.

“Jennifer, that orgasm was even better than the one at the end of the foursome. I think you drew blood!”

“Sorry about that! But it was so intense I couldn’t help myself. And it was exactly simultaneous. How do we do that?”

“We didn’t, well, we didn’t try. It’s the connection. Our souls touch somehow and our focus is unwavering. I’ve said before, nothing approaches this. It’s not as crazy as sex with Melanie, nor is it as uncontrolled as sex with Becky, but those don’t hold a candle to this. And Joyce is in a completely other dimension of simplicity and innocence.”

“So where are we?” she asked. “We both know our sex life is grand. That was never in question.”

“True. And with your occasional fantasies as outlets, along with the odd threesome once Melanie recovers, I think your urges can be satisfied.”

“My urges?” she giggled.

“Jennifer, we both know that you need an outlet for fantasy from time to time. The bondage thing. The dalliance with Melanie. That pseudo-rape the other night?”

“Caught that, did you? It had been a strange fantasy, it also just happened to line up with what we needed.”

“I’m not always as dumb as I seem. But let’s not do that one again, OK? Way too close to Bethany. It was fun, but I draw the line there, OK?”

“Yes. Good, actually.”

“So, on those limits, I’ve been thinking all week about them.”

“And?”

“We’ll start with the biggest issue — Melanie.”

“That’s the biggest one? Not Joyce or Becky?”

“Yes. I’m sure of it. I need to know how far you want to take that relationship. So far, there’s just been a little play here and there, and with that one exception when you were trying to turn me on, I’ve always been directly involved. I’ll set limits for you, but I need an idea of what you’re OK with so I can set them correctly.”

“I don’t know, I guess it’s just experimenting. I get so hot that I’m willing to do just about anything.”

“And that’s the thing. That’s what freaked you out. Let me ask this, are you comfortable with one-on-one sex with Melanie with me just watching? I guarantee if you let her, you’ll end up in a 69 making love to each other.”

“That kind of scares me.”

“OK. Then I know where to draw the line. The two of you can do stuff with me, and it’s OK if you do stuff with each other while you’re doing stuff with me. But nothing without me. That will keep you in your comfort zone, I think.”

“OK.”

“Remember I promised to fulfill any crazy fantasy you had without restrictions?”

“Yes!” she said brightly.

“One modification — it applies only to you and me, no third person. As soon as someone else is involved, both our limits have to apply. If you want to change them, that’s fine, but they can’t change when we’re with Melanie. Only when it’s just you and me together and we’re talking. That way you can move the line, but not just because you’re overly excited.”

“That would make me feel safe. I want to explore, but I need limits. Melanie has none.”

“No kidding. I talked to her about that. That she would have to come to terms with limits with Pete. He’s never going to be like her, or even like me. I suspect he’s more like Joyce than like you or Becky; conventional and safe, but willing to push the edges of his comfort zone a bit. You and I veer out of our comfort zones. For you, it’s frightening. For me it’s exhilarating, but I have to watch out not to get sucked into one of Melanie’s crazy fantasies that go beyond what I can handle. I need your help there, Jennifer.”

“My help?”

“Yes. This has to be mutual. I can’t dominate you. That’s why I asked you what your comfort zone was and helped build limits around it. You have to do the same with me. I want strong-willed, self-confident girls. I do not want submissive girls. Understand?”

“Yes.”

“That means you get to set limits, too, Jennifer. And if I can’t deal with them, then we either have to discuss modifications or agree to end our relationship. Some things have to be non-negotiable, at least in the short term. Long term, everything changes, of course.”

“That makes sense,” Jennifer said. “A partnership.”

“Yes. That’s exactly it, a partnership. Going forward, I’ll decide who I sleep with and when, but I will always tell you, in advance if at all possible. That should pretty much always be the case because as you say I think way too much about whether or not to do it.”

Jennifer laughed, “So true. So fucking true. But don’t change that, OK?”

“But you have a responsibility, too. And that’s to tell me if you are uncomfortable with anyone I propose to be with. I can’t promise to always agree with you, but I’ll always listen. It’s subtly different from before. You don’t have a formal veto, but you can, and should, object when you feel you need to.”

“Are you going to be with Becky?”

“Are you objecting?”

“I asked first!”

“I asked her to arrange a visit. I’m going to see her on New Year’s Eve. I made clear the conditions and the limits.”

“OK. As long as she’s agreed to them, go have the New Year’s fuck you turned down last year!”

“You ARE bad, Jennifer!”

“What about Kathy? She’s got it worse for you than Melanie ever did.”

“Yeah, and I don’t think she’ll be able to live within the limits I gave her. She’s supposed to ask me on Monday and I’ll give her a decision. I think she’ll promise to stick to the limits but like Becky before we broke up, I don’t think she can. So my answer for now is going to be ‘no’. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to really show her what it can be like, such that they’d have to carry her home, but no.”

“Good decision, I think. So Becky has changed?”

“Yes. Once we broke up, she could accept me as I was and nothing more. I don’t detect any real hints of her trying to pull me back into a relationship, but I’ll keep an eye out.”

“OK. And others?”

“Well, I’m seeing Kim tomorrow. Speaking of which, given that we’re here, I need to do laundry!”