Chapter 28: A Glimpse Into the Future

November 1978

The next week went along quickly. I was making A’s in Spanish along with all my other classes, so missing my tutoring with Melanie wasn’t really causing any trouble. We’d reached a point where it usually just involved her checking my homework and helping me study for tests. I talked to Beth and told her I wasn’t able to keep our programming date for Sunday, and she accepted an invitation from me for a make-up day a week from Saturday.

The Student Council had agreed to our proposal to do the computer dating fund-raiser. Once they had approval from the Principal, we’d get started. They would do the matches in January and there would be a special dance event in February. Anyone could go to the dance, but tickets were $20 instead of $25 if the couples were matched on one of their match sheets. I wondered how many of my friends would show up on mine. And I wondered if there might be some surprises.

Joyce and I decided to skip our Friday date and she would pick me up to take me to her Grandfather’s house, and we’d go out afterwards. I spoke with Larry, and he was OK with that arrangement. I asked him if he wanted to play chess Friday night and he readily agreed. Even though I had decided against being on the team, I still liked to play. It would give Larry and me time to talk as well.

On Thursday, I got the call I had been waiting for. Mrs. Seime called to say that I had been accepted to the program and my first choice country had been approved; I would be going to Sweden! She let me know that I’d be getting the formal acceptance letter that would include all the details about medical exams, travel documents, and, of course, an invoice.

My biggest dilemma now was whether I wanted to stay with the Anderssons or not. I had been thinking about it and I was concerned that it would constantly remind me of Birgit in ways that might be hard to deal with. Could I deal with sleeping in what used to be her room, alone? That might tear me to pieces, eventually. I decided it would be best if I simply visited them, rather than stayed with them.

I called Becky that evening. We hadn’t talked in a while and I wanted to catch up and let her know I’d been accepted. She told me she was happy for me and reminded me that she wanted me to come for dinner at some point before I left. I told her I would. She also reminded me she wanted one more time with me. I told her I’d think about it, but she shouldn’t get her hopes up.

On Saturday before work, I dialed the string of numbers that my heart had memorized. I spoke to Mr. Andersson and let him know that I was grateful for their offer, but felt it was better if I didn’t request to live with them. He said he understood. He also said that he would talk to Stig Olsen, the YFU national director, and arrange for me to see them when I flew into Stockholm. I thanked him and said I very much wanted to visit Birgit to say goodbye. He was confident that could be arranged. He also extended an invitation to visit them anytime I wanted.

I had lunch with Jennifer at work and she was coming for dinner that evening. We planned to hang out at my house and swim, play pool and watch a movie. I did clear with Dad that I could have the TV that evening starting at 8:00pm. I knew for sure that Jeff would try to interfere if he had the chance.

After dinner, Jennifer and I changed into our suits to swim. The new wild and crazy Jennifer had switched from a fairly modest one-piece suit to a red bikini that left very little to the imagination. Not that I needed to imagine what was under the suit, as I was intimately familiar with it! We took turns diving off the board, as well as chasing each other around and generally goofing off. I managed to slip my hand into Jennifer’s bikini bottoms several times, much to her delight.

We had been in the pool about fifteen minutes when Stephanie and the neighbor girls arrived and general mayhem ensued. I was horribly outnumbered and Jennifer decided that it was more fun to gang up on me than help me. Stephanie laughed when Jennifer chose sides. I knew I was in trouble, but I knew I had to be very careful what I did with these girls at this point, and I didn’t want to encourage anything because they were all still thirteen.

I was most worried about Donna, of course, because she already had designs on me. Those fears were misplaced, because, thankfully, she seemed to have remembered our talk and was being careful. The two Debbies, on the other hand, were not. This appeared to only amuse Jennifer and Stephanie more, because they knew I wouldn’t actually do anything with those girls, but had to fend off repeated attempts of hugs, frequent ‘accidental’ grabs of my butt, numerous attempts to rub their small breasts anywhere they could, and generally using their bodies as weapons.

At one point, Jennifer and Stephanie swam to the deep end and were treading water. The three younger girls actually trapped me in a corner of the shallow end, and every time I tried to climb out, they would grab my arms and pull me back. I felt this was getting a bit out of hand, so I grabbed Donna, pulled her tight to me, and quickly turned so she was in the corner and I could make my escape to the deep end.

I used the ladder to climb out of the pool. The problem was that I was tenting my trunks because of that hug. Donna’s body against mine had felt really good, and I’d had a reaction. Jennifer saw it and I thought she might drown, as she was laughing so hard. I quickly grabbed a towel to both dry off and hide the problem. I saw Jennifer whisper to Stephanie, who also laughed.

Great. As if Stephanie needed any encouragement! At that point, I decided I had been in the pool long enough and said I was going to go rinse off and dress. I went down the hall to my room, then went into the bathroom and hopped in the shower. A few seconds later I heard a giggle and the shower door opened and a naked Jennifer hopped in with me.

“My mom will kill me, you know that.”

“Shut up and kiss me!”

So I did. Her body felt really good against mine. Her hand dropped to my dick, and she quickly had me hard again.

“Jennifer, what are you doing?”

She smirked, winked at me, dropped to her knees, and engulfed me. She was still the only one who could take me all the way. She grabbed my butt and held me still while she expertly sucked me. Her tongue danced along the sides of my dick and swirled around the head when she backed off. She had gotten much better at this and knew exactly how to get me to the tipping point. A few fast bobs and I was there, filling her mouth with cum. I could feel her swallow and she stood up.

I pulled her to me in and gave her a deep French kiss. She broke the kiss, got out of the shower, put on her bikini, and was gone. I hoped she got to Stephanie’s room without being seen, because I knew there was no way my dad could prevent serious punishment from mom for something like this.

I finished rinsing off, dried off and remembering that the girls were around, wrapped a towel around me to walk into the bedroom. Fortunately, the room was empty, so I quickly dressed and went out to the pool table. I uncovered it and set it up. Stephanie was the first to join me.

“Have fun in the shower, Big Bro?” she whispered.

“What do you think?” I whispered back.

“Well, your girlfriend looked happy when she came back to my room, so I’d say yes. Donna and the two Debbies were jealous!”

“Squirt, they’re too young!”

“For now. All of them turn fourteen in February or March. I know Donna wants it and I bet the other two do as well.”

“Like I need more trouble?”

“Trouble?”

“I know Donna has a crush on me. If I mess around with her, is she going to think I love her? And what’s up with the other two?”

“They all think you’re cute and want your body. I don’t think any of them love you. Certainly not like Jennifer does.”

“I’m not promising anything. I’ll worry about it in the Spring, OK?”

“You already promised Donna. She’s making plans.”

“Steph, please don’t encourage them, OK?”

She giggled, “They don’t need encouragement. You turn them on. You have that effect on girls. Next Spring, you are going to be very busy!”

I sighed. Did I detect a hint there? The revelation from my friends had made me super-sensitive to anything Stephanie said. Was I imagining it? I had no idea.

I looked her in the eyes and said quite firmly, “Maybe. You know Steph, I’m not a ‘dumb boy’ anymore.”

I saw a confused look on her face and then her eyes got wide with realization. She blew out a breath that had more than a gasp to it. She now knew that I knew.

I picked up a pool cue and put chalk on it. Jennifer joined us at that point. I wondered if she had waited until she saw our conversation was done or if there she and Stephanie had talked. I’d have to find out. One thing I was sure of, spending a year away from her was a good thing. Perhaps, just perhaps, she’d get over it if I wasn’t right there for a year.

Jennifer and I played pool until 8:00pm and then we went to watch a movie. We cuddled, ate popcorn, and chatted a bit. Around 9:00pm the neighbor girls left and Stephanie went to her room. My parents were in Dad’s office watching the TV there. I decided to ask Jennifer my question.

“Jen, how long were you standing outside the door when I was at the pool table?”

“Most of the time, you were talking to Stephanie. I was less than a minute behind her. I saw her whispering, so I decided to wait.”

“Yeah, I let her know I know, but in a way that didn’t make it uncomfortable. I’m sure she’ll come find me at some point.”

“That should be an interesting conversation. I’d love to be a fly on the wall. What are you going to tell her?”

“That I hope she grows out of it before she’s ready to ask.”

“Just be careful how you talk to her, Steve.”

“Yeah. She told me that all three of those girls are interested in me.”

“Well, if it’s just a fuck, then go for it. If you detect any signs of attachment, tell them I said you can’t do it.”

“Yes, Jennifer.”

We just cuddled until her mom came to pick her up. I walked her out to the car, and we hugged and kissed.

“Good luck with Stephanie and have fun with Joyce tomorrow.”

“You’re really OK with both those situations, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I am. Is Joyce?”

“Well, we haven’t talked about the first one except for her indirect comment about it, and I don’t plan to broach that subject directly unless she does. As for the second, yeah, she’s comfortable with waiting to see what happens. She knows about you, of course.”

“OK. I love you Steve. See you at school.”

“I love you Jen.”

I went back inside and went to my room, but I didn’t shut the door all the way like I usually did when I was writing in my journal. I figured Stephanie would come in if she wanted to talk. I had no idea what to say, but I’d given her the opening.

I wasn’t surprised when she came in about ten minutes later.

“You figured it out?”

“No. I had no clue. Melanie, Jennifer, and Joyce hit me over the head with what I’ve always been missing.”

“And?”

“As long as you aren’t asking right now, we’re fine.”

“No. Not now. I don’t know when, but I will ask. And?”

“Like I said, don’t ask now. I’m still a bit freaked out by it. No, strike that, a lot freaked out by it.”

“Don’t be.”

“It’s not that easy, Squirt.”

“Sure it is, if you aren’t a ‘dumb boy’ like you said.”

I just shook my head. She smiled and left, shutting the door behind her.

At least now, I could write in my journal about it. Maybe that was the best way to communicate my confusion and my serious reservations to her. It was safe, given I could be very sure of what I wrote, versus a conversation that could quickly go off the rails. One thing was certain, I was glad my friends had clued me in. I would have had a complete freak-out if Stephanie walked into my room one day and made her request out of the blue.

I knew we’d talk about it. She probably realized she had work to do if she wanted me to say yes. I wasn’t sure any amount of talking was going to make me want to do it. I had a dream that night that disturbed me more than any of the terrible dreams I had about Birgit.

Sunday morning I swam more laps than usual. For some reason, I just felt the need to exert myself more than I normally did. I showered and ate breakfast alone. Mom, Jeff, and Stephanie went to church. As I watched them leave, I knew that I would never see my sister in the same light as I had even a few days ago.

Joyce arrived around 11:00am to pick me up.

“I wish I could cook for you today,” she said after we kissed.

“Me too,” I agreed.

“Could we, you know, after dinner? If I can get you home on time?”

It was funny, in a way, just how innocent Joyce was. There was something appealing about it. Jennifer had her own style of innocence, but it was fading because of her new outlook on life.

“Yes, of course. I love making love to you, Joyce.”

“So now it’s making love. Is that a change?”

“I guess it is, yes.”

“And a change to our relationship?”

“There’s way too much time between now and when I’ll be ready to commit and settle down. But I can definitely see you as a potential permanent partner in the future.”

“Good. That will make it easier when you are gone.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t really want to get involved with anyone else at this point.”

This was sounding familiar.

“Why? Joyce, I’m not objecting, I’m just curious.”

“You know I’ve dated, right?”

“Yeah, you’ve said that.”

“Well, I need to admit that I’ve had sex with another guy twice since we first did it.”

That was a revelation, but it didn’t bother me the same way it had when I thought Jennifer had done it. I wondered what that meant, but I had to turn my focus back to Joyce.

“And it didn’t even come close to measuring up. Not about the physical part, but about how we relate to each other and how you focus so completely and totally on me. I don’t think you’ve thought of yourself for one single second when you’re with me. Even when you talk about other stuff, it’s always in relation to me or to us, never to you. Everything just pales in comparison.”

“What you do about that has to be about you, OK? I can’t make any promises to you.”

“I’m completely aware of that,” she said. “I also know that a fifteen-year-old and a sixteen-year-old have no business talking about marriage and family and stuff like that. We’re way too young. But I have this strong feeling about you. I need to keep the possibility alive so that when the time comes that I can commit, then I can say yes if you decide I’m the right one.

“Of course, I’m biased, but I think I am, for all the reasons we talked about before. I know you aren’t anywhere near saying that kind of thing to me. I just hope that if you ever decide that it’s not me, you’ll tell me right away. It’ll be much easier for me to deal with it than if you all of a sudden spring another committed relationship on me.”

That presented a concern, of course. I had made the offer to Jennifer, and she had basically turned me down flat. For much the same reasons that Joyce was saying she couldn’t commit, but wanted to keep the possibility of a future together open. I had to say something, though.

“That sounds very similar to Jennifer. She and I have had similar conversations, and she’s said quite clearly that she’s not ready for any kind of permanent commitment, at least until I come back from Sweden, and even then she doesn’t think she will be. I guess if both of you are comfortable with this, then I’m OK with it, too. So yes, making love is just fine. And so is moving to the next stage of the relationship as well.”

“Can I ask you about other girls? You still see other girls, right?”

“Yes. Jennifer calls them ‘dalliances’ and she’s OK with them, though she’s drawn some bright and clear lines. One example is a long-term crush of mine that she said I could be with one time but never, ever again. It’s a complicated story and I doubt that one time would ever happen.”

“The cheerleader, right? You mentioned her at some point.”

“Yes. But let’s just say she’s not what I thought she would be and leave it at that.”

“And the girl you’re going to the Sadie Hawkins dance with?”

“No clue. None at all. I don’t know her very well, but she was apparently fourth in line for the turn-about last year. Speaking of dances, how do we handle this with you and Jennifer?”

“Well, if you come to mine and take her to yours, then there’s no conflict, is there?”

“I should have thought of that. I guess I need your permission at this point to see anyone other than Jennifer, the same as I have to get her permission to see anyone but you.”

“I don’t know how to answer that.”

“Well, maybe think about what kind of circumstances or types of girls or activities would bother you and we can figure it out from there. Just think about it and maybe we can talk on the way back. Or another day if you prefer.”