Chapter 12: Improving My Attitude

June 1978

I woke up early on Sunday morning, feeling good for the second day in a row. I decided I was going to go to church as well. There was something positive about sitting in church that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

After church, I did my chores and then pedaled over to Bethany’s house for lunch. Her dad made hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill and I ate two of each. Bethany laughed when I had the second hot dog after I’d already had two burgers and a hot dog.

“I’m a growing boy. I rode my bike over this morning, I’ll ride home and I’ll swim!”

She giggled, “Yeah, but it’s funny to see how much you eat. Ed doesn’t eat like that.”

“Ed’s only 12. Give him a couple of years. Puberty will do that to him. Not to mention the energy he’s going to need to put up with my sister!”

That generated laughs from everyone, including Ed, who turned bright red.

Mrs. Krajick wondered, “So, just how well is this pre-teen romance working out?”

Bethany laughed, and Ed looked like he wanted to hide under the table.

“Well, my sister seems to like him,” I said. “And she’s cute, which means because he’s a guy, he likes her. If she gets her hooks into him, he’s done for.”

They all laughed again.

“I think I want to be excused now,” Ed said.

“Come on, Ed, he’s just teasing you,” Bethany said.

“I know; but still! It’s not like I did anything but hold her hand. You held Steve’s hand and you guys are just friends!”

“Well, Ed, there was that little incident of the hug you two exchanged at my house, which I believe even your mom saw,” I teased.

Bethany giggled, “We all did. That wasn’t a friend hug, Ed, you like her!”

“I’m going to go in the other room and die now,” he groaned as he got up from the table.

Everyone laughed. It was good to see Bethany laughing.

“And you, Bethany, giving him a hard time. I seem to recall a pretty nice hug at Graeter’s from you. Ed’s nice enough not to tease you, but now that you’ve teased him, well, that means you’re fair game.”

“Steve!” Bethany exclaimed in dismay.

Mr. Krajick looked concerned, but her mom was smiling.

“Oh, that’s right. You were hiding that from your parents. Can’t let them know you like me. I’m sorry, I guess I let the cat out of the bag.”

“Stop it,” she giggled. “You’re a friend. And look at my dad. He’s uncomfortable.”

“Of course I am, Princess.”

“Daddy, I didn’t mean it that way. I asked Steve to treat me like a normal girl, even tease me sometimes. I’m tired of everyone treating me differently. Never joking or teasing. I need to feel normal.”

“Honey, we’re concerned about you. And we need to keep you safe. Steve seems like a nice young man and all, but I can’t help but worry. Your mom and I just want to keep you safe.”

“I asked Steve to hug me once last week. I never felt safer than when he did that.”

“What?” her dad gasped.

Time for me to step in.

“Mr. Krajick. I want to be clear. I have no designs on your daughter beyond being a friend. But you know what? I hug my friends. I even kiss my friends occasionally. When Bethany asked me to do it, there was nothing more than friendship.”

“Dad, I do feel safe with him.”

“Honey, be careful.”

“I am being careful, Dad.”

“Sir, I will guard your daughter in every possible way, including physically protecting her if need be. She’s my friend. I’d do anything for my friends.”

“Son, I hear you. But double-dates are a bit past friendship, don’t you think?”

“Sir, I hang out with my friends who are girls all the time. Up until May, my best friend in the world was a girl. We had a falling out, but we’re working to fix that. I hope she’ll be my best friend again. My second best friend is a girl, too. My third best is a guy, Larry, who lives two streets over. Honestly, and please don’t tell my mom, there’s more going on between Ed and Stephanie than me and Bethany.”

“I heard that!” came from the other room.

Everyone laughed again.

“Honey, please be careful.”

“Yes, Dad. I’m talking to Doctor Mercer about all of this, and Steve is too; he’s seeing her because the love of his life died. You trust Doctor Mercer, right?”

“Yes, Bethany I do,” Mr. Krajick agreed.

That seemed to end the debate. Bethany said she wanted to take a walk. We got up, and she took my hand in front of her parents and we walked to the front door and down the street.

“Thanks,” she said. “It was fun to have everyone joke around me. It made me feel better.”

“I’m glad,” I replied. “I was a little worried that it was going too far, and I’m sorry if I caused you problems with your parents.”

“The problems will come when you ask me out on a solo date.”

“Do you want me to do that?”

“More than anything. Do you think you could ask me soon?”

“Well, I want to talk to Doctor Mercer about some things I figured out last night, and see what she thinks as well, and you and I need to have a serious talk.”

“About what?”

“About me. About you. About what asking you on a date means.”

“Well, dates are about going out, doing something fun, and getting a good night kiss.”

“Well, yes. But there’s more to it.”

“You mean sex?”

“Bethany!” I protested. “I am not talking about that. I’m not! I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t mean it that way. But that is the problem in the end, isn’t it?”

“If we went out, it might be something we have to discuss, eventually. But now that you raised it, I guess we can talk about it.”

“OK.”

“First of all, you know I date. I’m going out with Anna and Joyce pretty regularly. I’m trying to put my relationship with Jennifer back together. I am not in a place where I can date anyone exclusively.”

“I know, you told me.”

“Yes, but I want to make sure there is no miscommunication. I need to tell you some things that might bother you, OK?”

“Yes.”

“You know I’m experienced when it comes to sex, right?”

“That is pretty clear, yeah.”

“Well, I’ve had sex with lots of girls. Not all the ones I go out with, but lots.”

“Lots like how many?”

“Ten, I think.”

“Wait, you aren’t sure.”

“I could name them, I suppose. But ten seems right.”

“That’s a lot, even for a college guy. You’re only fifteen!”

“You’re right. It’s a lot. But I don’t think it’s wrong to do it. And every one of them was a willing partner. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m not willing to commit to just one person. I’m too young for that.”

“I want to know something,” she said.

Big warning signs were flashing as sirens were going off in my head.

A tear rolled down her cheek, and she whispered, “Are you trying to avoid the subject because you don’t want to have sex with me because I was raped?”

Exactly what I had been afraid of. I was way out of my league here.

“Bethany, any answer I give to that question is dangerous. For both of us.”

“I need to know,” she sobbed.

“You are a desirable young woman. Is that clear enough?”

“No. I need to hear it.”

“Yes, I would have sex with you if that’s what you wanted, and you were ready, and you understood what that meant.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. “I needed to hear that. I did. I’m still afraid that you won’t, that nobody will.”

“Talk to Doctor Mercer, please! I’m totally confused and I have no idea what to do or say.”

“Just treat me like a normal girl, OK? I’ll tell you to stop if I’m uncomfortable.”

“I can try doing that. Right now, all I want to do is keep you safe.”

“I know. You heard what I said to my dad. Can you hug me, please?”

I pulled her into my arms and held her tight. She snuggled close and sighed contentedly.

She broke the hug after about a minute or so and said, “Thanks.”

We walked back to her house, holding hands the entire way. As we walked up the driveway, she said, “Please ask me out on a date. A regular one.”

“I will, but I need to talk to Doctor Mercer first, OK? And you should, too.”

“And when we go on a date, I want it to be a proper date. Promise?”

“That’s up to you Bethany.”

“Good,” she smiled.

She went inside, and I got on my bike. I really needed to talk to Doctor Mercer. I was afraid I had made a huge mistake. But maybe I had helped Bethany. I’d have to continue to be super careful. I needed to talk to Jennifer, so I pedaled to her house. I rang the bell, and she answered.

“Hey. Can we talk for a few minutes?”

“Sure. Come on in.”

We went to the basement.

“I need to ask you something and I need a totally honest answer.”

“OK.”

“Are you really, I mean really, going to be happy with a relationship like I had with Birgit?”

“Yes, though it won’t be exactly like that. I’ll get to have sex with you more than once a year!” she giggled.

“Oh stop! I haven’t agreed to anything yet.”

“Why are you asking?”

“Bethany asked me to ask her on a real date. I’m not sure her parents will agree, and I don’t want to lead her on.”

“Go on a date with her. Kiss her goodnight. You’re not ready to commit to me at this point. I know it.”

“Did you have some secret communication with Birgit?”

“No, I just listened to you and Melanie.”

“OK. I still need to sort everything out and talk to Doctor Mercer. We’ll talk after the 4th.”

“And after you take care of Becky.”

“Do you want a home movie? I’m not sure I could get Super-8 developed with those kinds of pictures!”

“That would be interesting, to say the least. How about Polaroids?”

“You are truly out of control!”

“You just wait!” she smirked.

I just shook my head. We kissed goodbye, and I headed home. I went to find Dad and told him that on my way home I had stopped at Jennifer’s for 10 minutes. I didn’t want someone to see me and say something to Mom and have her think I lied.

I checked the pool chemicals, swam some laps, and then did my chores. I hadn’t vacuumed the pool in a few days, so I did that. I swept the deck and filled the bird feeders. I took a quick shower to rinse off, then ate dinner with the family.

After dinner, I called Melanie because I needed to talk to her. She asked if it was OK to come over rather than talk on the phone, and I agreed. I called Anna to confirm for Monday. Her sister would pick me up from work and bring me to their house, and we could decide what to do from there. They’d get me home before curfew.

When Melanie arrived, we went to the deck to talk.

“What have you and Jennifer been cooking up?” I asked.

“What are you talking about?”

“Wait, didn’t Jennifer talk to you?”

“She did, but about a lot of stuff.”

“I’m talking about the new, wild Jennifer. The one who seems sex-crazed.”

“You have that effect on me!” Melanie laughed. “And apparently on Becky. Why should Jennifer be any different?”

“Because she is!”

“Oh, I get it. A slut like me can be all sexy and do anything, but good-girl Jennifer can’t? Listen to yourself!”

“I never called you a slut! I didn’t!”

“No, but you may as well have. You haven’t really done anything crazy without me involved, have you?”

“No, I guess not.”

“So you associate wild stuff with me. But Jennifer is still pretty innocent in your eyes. And you seem to think it’s wrong that she wants to be a little wild?”

“I guess I do.”

She shook her head, “Wrong attitude. Even the class slut doesn’t put out for everyone, and isn’t necessarily wild. Don’t you think my parents, who are devoted to each other, might have wild sex once in a while?”

“I don’t even want to think about that.”

“Your parents might, too, you know.”

“I really don’t want to think about THAT!”

“Oh please. Where do you think you came from?”

“The stork, of course. Any other answer is just a story to scare little kids!”

We both laughed.

“Yeah, right, Steve, sure.”

“OK, but I don’t want to think about it. I don’t!”

“Listen to you. You’re a prude all of a sudden. Didn’t my mom see us with your cock jammed up my cunt? Didn’t we walk down to dinner with everything just hanging out for them to see? And the idea that our parents actually have sex bothers you?”

“Yeah, it does. But what’s with you and Jennifer and the new vocabulary? She uses ‘fuck’ and you use ‘cock’ and ‘cunt’. I’ve never heard either of you use those before.”

“Prude! Despite having more sex than most of the rest of the guys in the Freshman class combined, you are still a prude. And somewhat conservative.”

“Can we drop this, Melanie?”

“Did she ask you to fuck? Is that the problem? Is that what has you bent out of shape?”

“No. She told me to ‘go fuck Becky’s brains out’ as a ‘goodbye fuck’ like Becky wants.”

Melanie doubled over in laughter.

When she had calmed herself, she said, “OK. I can see why that bothered you. That’s a new one for her. Wow!”

“Yeah. It’s way different from ‘go make love with her’ like she said before. That’s just the tip of the iceberg of the ‘new’ Jennifer.”

“You know what, you might need me there when you have sex just to protect you! She might throw you for a loop!”

“Not yet. I have lots of things to work out first, OK? I told her I need to talk to Doctor Mercer and finish things with Becky before we can even discuss moving beyond just making out.”

“Yeah? What about me?”

“That’s actually why you’re here.”

“Oh cool! Your room? Or you have some other place we can go.”

I laughed, “OK, I walked right into that one, didn’t I? But what I meant is to talk about where we are. About us. About how we fix our friendship and move forward.”

“Simple. We keep telling each other the truth, declare ourselves friends, and then go screw each other silly,” she giggled.

“It’s not that easy, Melanie, and you know it. You violated Pete’s trust. That’s a problem for me. It makes it harder for me to trust you.”

“It hurt you that I did that, didn’t it?”

“Yes, it did. Not as badly as Pete was hurt, I’m sure, but how many times did I make the point clear? I lost respect for you. And that’s hard to get back. Before, you were my friend, confidante, and lover. I respected you and trusted you. We loved each other in our own way. We had a common bond in Birgit. All that has changed. Well, except I still love you in that special way.”

“I love you too, Steve.”

“OK. That’s the basis for moving forward. Let’s just take it one step at a time and fix our friendship first. Teasing is OK, but please don’t push it too far. The best way to get what I think you want is to be my friend and let it happen naturally, if at all.”

“OK.”

“I have a serious anger problem I need to work through. I think I’m over being sad. Now I’m just mad at everything that happened. I talked with Jennifer and figured out a lot of things. I think once I get past the anger, I might, just might, be able to be in a long-term relationship of some kind. And it’ll probably be with Jennifer.”

“Wow! It’s only been like two weeks. Already you’ve moved on?”

“No. I just admitted to myself that I probably always was going to be with Jennifer. I would have tried really hard, but in the end, we have a connection that I never had with Birgit. Oh, that might have developed if I had been with her in Sweden. Or it might not. But now it can’t. Does that make me sad? Yes. But not crying, breaking-down sad. It does make me mad at whatever took her from me. I mean red-faced, fist-poundingly angry.”

“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to be mean.”

“Don’t worry! I didn’t take it as being mean. But I’m angry with you, you know? For what you did to Pete, for trying to use me to cover it up, for lying to me and Pete, and for your refusal to talk to me for two months.”

“And Jennifer?”

“I’m angry with her, too. For different reasons, of course. And I’m angry with Becky. And I’m angry with Birgit for dying. And I’m angry with myself for all the dumb stuff I did.”

“You weren’t kidding.”

“No, I wasn’t. I think I need a swim to cool off. Can we talk later in the week after I see Doctor Mercer?”

“Sure.”

I walked her to the door and hugged her goodbye. I put on my trunks and swam 50 laps as fast as I could. I was breathing rather hard when I got done.

“Wow, Big Bro, that was some serious swimming.”

“Just working out some anger at the world.”

“You aren’t mad at me, are you?”

“Nah. Well, maybe for sneaking a peek at me naked and spying on me having sex, but I know you need your cheap thrills.”

“Eww!”

I laughed, “No, Squirt, I’m not mad at you for anything at all.”

I gave her a quick hug and went to rinse off and write in my journal. I was pretty happy with the progress I had made. I was moving past the sadness to anger. I was telling people why I was angry. I was being as honest as I could.

I slept well again; that was real progress.

Work on Monday was normal and Jennifer and I had lunch. At quitting time, I saw Anna and her sister waiting for me. Andreas joked that I had added more girls to my harem.

I shot back, “I’m not paying them.”

He laughed, “You always pay, Steve. It’s just not always money that changes hands!”

I laughed at that. I’d have to remember that one.

I hopped in the car and greeted the girls and asked what was on the agenda.

Her sister, Gina, said, “Sex, of course. What else would I be doing when Mom and Dad leave us alone at the house?”

Two could play at that game.

“No thanks, Gina, you aren’t my type.”

She spluttered, “Not with you! Gross.”

“You couldn’t handle me. Let me know when you need a real guy.”

“Right, you’re what, fifteen like Anna?”

“Yeah, fifteen. But I’ll bet your boyfriend never gave you nine orgasms in a row, never screwed you for 30 minutes straight non-stop, never French kissed you after he came in your mouth, and never licked your pussy after he screwed you.”

Anna turned bright red, her eyes got wide, and her mouth gaped.

Gina shouted, “Bullshit! You never did any of those things.”

“I have references. Want their phone numbers? They’ll tell you. Or get Anna’s permission and I’ll show you.”

“With you? A little boy? No chance. I say you’re full of shit.”

“Say what you want; it doesn’t make it any less true. As for little, well, no; slightly above average. But I know what do to with it.”

The ride was quiet after that. I hoped I hadn’t scared Anna off.

When we arrived at their house, Gina was giving me evil looks. We walked inside and I saw her boyfriend pull up behind her car. I decided one more dig was necessary.

“Last chance Gina. Ditch your boyfriend, get Anna’s permission, and I’ll show you what it’s really all about. Or you can just have lousy sex with your boyfriend. Your choice.”

Anna laughed at that one. Gina didn’t respond. She took her boyfriend to her room and slammed the door. I had won. It served her right.

“I’m sorry about that,” I said quietly to Anna.

“It’s OK. I don’t think she’ll bother me about this anymore. I hear how long they take. But are you serious? 30 minutes? They take like five at the most.”

“Yeah, it was a special situation. I can’t really promise that. But it did happen.”

“But all those other things? You really did those?”

“Let’s go sit down and talk, OK? I owe you a serious apology.”

She grabbed a couple of bottles of Dr Pepper from the fridge, my second favorite drink after Coke. I sat at the kitchen table to make the conversation less threatening.

“First, I’m sorry I was so harsh with your sister. I was pretty crude in what I said, and I shouldn’t have done that. I’m still working through all my issues with Birgit and my friends. By the way, Melanie and Pete split up.”

“Oh, that’s sad. They were great together.”

“Yes, they were. But she made some mistakes and now they’re apart. I don’t know if they can get back together or not.”

“Because of you? You didn’t do it with her, did you? She was practically begging.”

“She was. And no, I would never do that to Pete. I have way too much respect for him.”

“Good. I’m glad. I wouldn’t have been happy with you if you had done that.”

“I wouldn’t be happy with me either! But I do need to say that I do have sex with other girls. Just not Melanie. I can’t remember if I ever said that directly to you, but you need to know that.”

“Yeah, I know. You’re pretty experienced, from the things you’ve said to me and what Melanie said. Not to mention what you said tonight to Gina! Was all that true?”

“Yes. I’ve done all that and more.”

“More? What more is there?”

“A lot. Don’t worry about it, OK? It’s nothing really important.”

“But isn’t some of that stuff really gross and disgusting?”

From my perspective, it wasn’t gross or disgusting, it was just really, really strange; to innocent Anna, me saying that it was OK, might push her away forever. She knew I’d done it, but didn’t know my opinion of it, beyond ‘strange’.

“I don’t think so. But nobody should ever do anything they don’t want to.”

“Can I ask you some questions?”

“Sure. Just be sure you want the answers, OK?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess. You mean I might be freaked out by some things?”

“Exactly.”

“So you’ve had blowjobs. And the girls let you shoot in their mouth?”

“Sometimes, yes.”

“And then what do they do? Spit it out?”

“Actually, I’ve never had that happen, but yes, they could spit it out. But every time I’ve cum in a girl’s mouth, she’s decided to swallow.”

“Really? You’re not just messing with me?”

“No. I’m not messing with you.”

“And you really lick a girl like you said?”

I decided to use her language rather than be blunt or crude.

“Yeah, I really like doing that. I like it more before I shoot in her, but either way is OK.”

“And you really can give a girl who many orgasms?”

“Well, that was a special time and a special girl. But usually I’m able to give girls multiple orgasms.”

“So you’re better than that idiot Rick! I’ve heard Gina complain to her best friend that she only gets one, and sometimes none.”

“Then I was right. Rick doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

She sat there obviously contemplating. I decided to make things easier for her.

“Let’s go to Wendy’s and get some food, OK?” I suggested. “Then we can decide what to do. There’s a mini-golf course by Wendy’s, if you want. Or the bowling alley is close enough to walk.”

“Sounds great! Let’s go!”

I sensed a note of relief in her voice, making it clear that I’d made the right decision.

I took her hand as we walked to Wendy’s. She squeezed mine a few times as we walked. We talked about our Summers and about the next school year. We were both looking forward to being sophomores. I told her I looked forward to playing against Turpin in chess and hoped I would face her.

“You just want that strip chess game!”

“I think our chess coaches might object if we started taking off our clothes during a tournament!”

We both laughed. I felt that was a good sign that she wasn’t upset with me for what I had said to her sister. Once we arrived at Wendy’s, we ordered our food, and after it was prepared, I directed us toward a booth. When I sat down, she sat down next to me instead of across from me and sat super close. We ate shoulder-to-shoulder and continued chatting. She hadn’t finished her Frosty when I finished eating, but she said she’d finish it on the way back to her house. That ruled out bowling or mini-golf.

I couldn’t hold her hand, but I decided to test the waters. I slipped my arm around her waist and we walked that way while she finished her ice cream. We passed a trash can, and she dropped her empty cup and spoon into it, and then put her arm around me. We walked the rest of the way to her house with arms around each other.

At her house, she grabbed two bottles of Dr Pepper from the fridge and said, “Come on.”

I followed her to her into her room. She’d changed things a bit and there were two beanbag chairs. That was less awkward than sitting on the bed, I thought. She shut the door, turned on the radio and then sat in the red beanbag chair, I sat in the blue one.

“Gina’s still in her room with Rick. I laugh because she pretends like they’re doing it the whole time, but I’ve listened and I know they spend most of the time talking and stuff.”

I laughed, “So you think I really got to her, then, huh?”

“She’d be completely beside herself if I actually had a better experience than she did.”

“Well, if it’s with me, I am pretty sure you would. Of course, she’d never believe you even if you did. At least she’d never admit to believing it. She’s lying about how good Rick is, right?”

“Yeah, you’re right about that, I’m sure.”

“Please don’t compete with her. When you’re ready, do what you want, when you want, with whom you want. Don’t pay any attention to your sister.”

“Can we talk about something?”

“Anything you want,” I answered, wondering what she was thinking.

“You remember that night when we were with Pete and Melanie and we were making out?”

“Of course.”

“I really liked what you did, but I wasn’t comfortable with them being in the room. I would have let you go further if we were alone like we are now.”

I took the hint and pulled her to me. I kissed her gently and then when her lips parted, pressed my tongue into her mouth. I shifted to wrap my left arm around her as she battled my tongue and she managed to get her tongue into my mouth. I ran my hand across her back and down to her butt. I squeezed one cheek, and she pressed her body closer to me.

I moved my hand to her hip and ran it slowly up her flank, under her arm, and then moved to cup her breast over her t-shirt. I rubbed her nipple with my palm and she moaned into my mouth. I carefully slid my hand down her side to her hip and then down her bare leg to her knee. I moved from outside her top leg to the inside of her bottom one, as she lay on my left.

Ever so slowly I moved my hand to her inner thigh and made brief contact with the crotch of her shorts. She twitched at the contact but didn’t stop kissing. Exploring further, I pulled her t-shirt out of her shorts and slid my hand underneath to touch her flat stomach. I waited briefly while we kissed and slid my hand up to cup her breast through her bra.

I squeezed her breast in my hand and then tweaked her nipple between two fingers. Her kissing became a bit more frantic and forceful. Remembering what I had done last time and where she stopped me, I moved my hand to her back and managed with a little effort to unhook her bra, one-handed.

I quickly moved my hand back to her luscious breast. It felt firm and warm under my hand, and her nipple was pressing hard into my palm. I broke the kiss and sat up slightly. I looked her in the eyes and watching for any sign of protest grabbed the hem of her t-shirt. I gently pulled it up, and she shifted and raised her arms so I could pull it over her head. I did the same with her pink frilly bra.

Last time, the lights had been out. Now I had a view of her beautiful breasts. They were about the size of a half grapefruit with light pink areolae and nipples.

“You’re beautiful!” I whispered as I lowered my lips to her nipple. I kissed her then opened my mouth and took her into it. I gently suckled on her breast while my hand gently held it. There was a hint of some kind of lavender body spray or perfume that was intoxicating. She sighed deeply.

She had said she would let me go further, so I moved my hand from her breast and moved it down her torso until I came to the waistband of her shorts.

I broke the kiss and looked her in the eyes and said, “Is this OK?”

She exhaled hard and nodded.

I kissed her gently several times as I slipped my hand under the waist of her shorts and slid my fingers over smooth panties, feeling the softness of her pubic hair under the material. I continued down until I felt the ridges of her labia under her panties and found a small wet spot. The heat was incredible.

I moved my fingers up and down between her legs. This was a rare experience for me. Usually my partner and I would already be naked before any serious intimate contact happened. This was a total turn-on. I was amazed at how hard I was. I increased the pressure slightly, and she started slowly moving her hips up and down. I could feel the wet spot spreading. I wanted to touch her!

I pulled my hand up to the waist band of her panties and pushed my fingertips underneath, waiting for a negative reaction. When I didn’t receive any, I moved my hand in one continuous motion over her soft pubic hair and onto her slit. I cupped her mons in my hand and applied a small amount of pressure.

I lowered my head to suckle her breast once more and began moving my fingers up and down her damp pussy. She was moaning softly and slightly moving her hips. I wondered if I could move to the next step or not. The worst that could happen was that she told me to stop. I released her breast, pulled my arm from behind her and shifted so I could plant tiny kisses on her stomach. I kissed along the waist of her shorts and brought both hands to her hips.