Chapter 9: Melanie and Bethany

June 1978

On Sunday morning I awoke well-rested. I ate breakfast and told Mom I wanted to go to church with them. She said ‘OK’, so I went to shower and dress for church. I saw Larry but not Jennie. Larry and I grabbed some juice after service and talked briefly. He wondered if I wanted to play some chess during the week and I readily agreed. We agreed he would come to my house on Tuesday night.

When we got home I tried to talk to Mom again. She actually responded to my apology and accepted it, saying that it was time to talk. I asked if it was OK if Dad was in the room and she agreed.

We went to Dad’s office to find him and I repeated what I had said about being wrong in the way I had approached things, but that I was very, very upset and emotional and wasn’t really in control.

“That’s true, Stephen, and it’s not acceptable. Ever. It’s not to ever happen again. Do you hear me?”

“Mom, all I can do is try. I’m seeing a psychologist, OK? I’m working on it. If you want to talk to her, that’s fine, Dad signed the paperwork, so he can tell you anything you want.”

“We also have to discuss you having sex. You’re too young to be doing that, and so are the girls.”

“Mom, I’m sorry, but at this point, I don’t think that’s a discussion I can have with you. We disagree on it. And it’s part of me now. It’s been going on for over a year. Birgit was not my first. In fact, she and I only made love one time. But there have been other girls since.”

“I don’t accept that. It’s not right.”

“Mom, I know you think that. I’m being responsible. Some kind of birth control is used every single time. We just have to disagree on this.”

She said nothing for a moment. I simply waited. I knew she had more to say.

“As for refusing my punishment and blatantly disobeying me, we have to discuss that as well.”

“While I’m sorry about that, you have to understand that the love of my life had just died! Your solution to that was to cut me off from all my friends! To force me to be alone! You wanted to punish me for having sex; I got that. But you weren’t understanding the situation at all. How much I was hurting. How much I needed my friends. All of them. And most of them are girls. Pete and Larry are the exceptions, and Pete wasn’t really available because he and Melanie broke up.”

“That’s no excuse for the way you behaved.”

“But you wouldn’t listen to me! You didn’t care how much I was hurting. Birgit died, Mom! I loved her. We had planned a future together. You can read her letters. You can ask Jennifer, Melanie, or Becky. Ask Stephanie, she knows as well. Call Birgit’s dad. They will all tell you the same thing I’m telling you.”

“And why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t think you cared. I didn’t think you would understand. Your gravest fear was that I might be involved in a physical relationship with a girl and you were bound and determined to prevent it at any cost. Mom, I loved her. She’s dead. And you refused to acknowledge that.”

She was silent again. My dad finally spoke up.

“Judy, you didn’t give him any chance on Sunday. You were loaded for bear on Saturday night when Stephanie told you about Birgit.”

“Ray, stay out of this.”

“Steve, go find something to do,” my dad said.

“Yes, Dad.”

I left the room and shut the door behind me. Dad was really coming through lately. This was a great change from even a year ago. Perhaps he was seeing me grow up and deal with the issues in my life and giving me credit for it. Mom sure wasn’t.

I went to my room to call Melanie, hoping I’d find her at home. I did.

“Melanie, do you have a few hours to talk? Can you come over around 2:00pm? I have a double-date with Bethany tonight but maybe we can talk everything through this afternoon?”

“Sure. I’ll see you at 2:00pm.”

That gave Mom and Dad nearly three hours to sort things out and talk to me. I hoped it was enough. There were limits to what I’d accept. I knew I was only fifteen and that she did have some say, but telling me I couldn’t have sex was a line I couldn’t allow to be drawn. Nor could I accept her cutting me off from my friends.

I realized this put her in a bind. It wasn’t like she could take away my car keys — I couldn’t drive. I had my own money from work, in fact, more than she knew because of things like the birthday gift. She could take my phone, but I used it mostly to make dates and set up meetings. Stephanie, who had recently gotten an extension in her room, talked on it way more than I did. She could assign more chores, and I’d do them. I was seeking professional help. I’m sure she would prefer I see the priest, but that wasn’t going to happen. I was sure he had let mom know that in a way that didn’t violate his vows.

I pulled out a book on the Civil War and started reading about Stonewall Jackson. By the time I was ready for lunch, Mom hadn’t come to find me so I went to fix something to eat, and once I had eaten, got my bathing suit on and swam 50 laps of the pool. I went to shower to rinse off the chlorine and then dressed. I was glad I had done so when I opened the door to my room and Stephanie was in my beanbag chair.

“Sorry Squirt, no cheap thrill today.”

“It wasn’t a thrill, Steve. Eww!”

We both laughed.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“Mom wants you. They’re in the office.”

I headed there and shut the door behind me. I resolved to stay calm and do the best I could to meet her partway.

It was my dad who spoke.

“Steve, you’ve shown some maturity that I didn’t know you had. You recognized that you have a problem and you sought counseling for it. You’ve been honest and forthright in telling us how you feel and about your life.”

So far so good. But I knew the other shoe had to drop.

“All of that is good, but we can’t let you off without some kind of punishment. I talked to your mom and we agreed that for the rest of the Summer, you’ll do all the chores around the house. The only exception is you don’t have to do any laundry other than your own.”

“Yes, Dad.”

“And Son, three things. First, any further outbursts like the one on Sunday and there will be serious consequences; second, all the house rules are to be followed; third, you must continue to tell us where you’re going and who you’ll be with. We do reserve the right to tell you ‘no’ if we think it’s not something you should be doing.”

I could live with that. I had always done that in the past. Since Birgit’s death and the fight with my mom, I had simply come and gone as I pleased. The house rules had to refer to Jennifer staying the night, but I was doing somewhat better now.

“Yes, Dad. Melanie is coming over soon so we can talk. I’m helping her work on her relationship with Pete.”

“Your Spanish tutor?”

“Yes, we’ve double-dated. Pete and Melanie go out with me and Anna, the girl from Turpin.”

“OK.”

“Tonight I have a double-date with Bethany. Her brother Ed and Stephanie will be with us.”

Mom finally spoke, “I don’t want your sister around girls you have sex with!”

“Well, that’s no problem because I’m not having sex with Bethany and there is no chance that would happen anytime soon, if ever. I can’t go into it, but other than a hug and a kiss on the cheek, there has been no physical contact between us except holding hands on a walk.”

“Why should I believe you?”

“I can’t tell you. Honestly. She’s seeing Doctor Mercer. I went to see Doctor Mercer the first time so I could help Bethany. When I had my breakdown, Doctor Mercer agreed to see me, too.”

Dad said, “That’s fine. I know your sister enjoyed the previous one. She likes being with you and she also felt great that she got to go on a ‘date’ when she was 11, even if it was just Frisch’s. That’s really early, but it’s nothing dangerous. And no different from going to a school dance.”

“Ray, he’s setting a bad example for her.”

“Judy, that horse has left the barn. She knows about his, well, activities. She told me that she figured it out all by herself because she found Birgit’s hair on a towel at the old house.”

“Dad, I do have a date with Anna a week from tomorrow. We’re going out with her sister and her sister’s boyfriend. Is that OK?”

“You’ve done that once before, right?”

Well, technically true.

“Yes. Nothing has happened between me and Anna but some kissing and hugging.”

“What about you and Becky?”

“I’m going to their house for dinner on July 2nd. That might be the last time. There were differences of opinion we just couldn’t get past before. She’s a friend now, nothing more. And the same is true for Jennifer. She and I were very close, stepped over a line we shouldn’t have, and almost ruined our friendship in the process. We’re trying to rebuild it. I promise you that I am not going to sleep with either of them any time soon, and probably never again with Becky.”

“Jennifer?”

“Until we repair our friendship, and figure out what we both want, no, I won’t. Right now we’re dating, I guess. She eats lunch with me most days at work like she used to before we stopped talking. We’ve gone on a couple of dates. We’ll go on more. But we have a long way to go before we even consider sex.”

“Son, you’re handling all of this in a pretty mature way. I know there are other girls in the picture, but I’m not going to ask you about them. Just make sure you follow the house rules. Understand?”

“Yes, Dad. I will.”

I knew I was dismissed so I went to wait for Melanie. Stephanie came to sit with me and asked about the plans for later.

“Well, it’s really up to Bethany’s parents, but I was thinking Frisch’s, then Graeter’s, then walk around a bit before their parents pick them up.”

“Sounds good.”

“Mom’s worried I’m a bad influence on you.”

“Oh, please! I am not ready to have sex with anyone anytime soon. I haven’t even got my period yet.”

“Too much information, Squirt!”

“Why? I’m a girl. That happens you know! Even you can’t be that dumb!”

“Yeah, I know. Sorry, you’re right.”

“Of course I am!” she said as she got up and skipped down the hall.

I just shook my head. She really was going to be a holy terror when she was older.

When Melanie arrived I grabbed some Cokes and we went out onto the deck. We pulled a couple of chairs close together so we could talk.

“Melanie, before we get to us, can I ask you a couple of questions?”

“Sure. About what?”

“Sex, of course!”

“Yes. Right now!” she teased.

I ignored her.

“How common is it that girls let guys cum in their mouths? And swallow? And do they really like it, or do they just tolerate it?”

“That’s a difficult question to answer. But I think it’s more common that girls don’t like to do it than like to do it. But since guys like it, lots of girls will do it. Sometimes they do that to avoid sex. As for swallowing, most of my friends spit it out.”

“That’s not my experience. Mostly they let me cum in their mouth and most of them swallow.”

“Well, I think you can thank Jennie for that one. I know for sure that the way you treat us has a lot to do with our willingness to do that. I LOVE to do it, but Elizabeth only does it because the guys want it. You’ve been with lots of inexperienced girls, and if I read it correctly, you get them so excited that they’re willing to try it. And once they try it and you kiss them the way you do, they’re willing to do it again. Plus you are pretty damn good at giving oral as well, so there’s the whole returning the favor thing.”

“I guess that makes sense. It’s OK, actually, because I prefer screwing to getting a blowjob, and I have pretty decent control. I needed a blowjob first with Jennie, but since then, not really. My other question is about periods. Do people do it during a girl’s period?”

“I never have. It would be super messy, I guess. I always managed our appointments around my time of the month. I think your other girls have all chosen the times, basically, right?”

“Yeah, they have. I was just curious. I can see how it could be messy.”

“I’m sure that people do, though. Same as they do that thing we did, you know? Some people like that a lot. You and I experimented but my curiosity was satisfied and you’ve now had that experience and while you tolerated it just fine, it doesn’t seem like you’re looking to repeat that any time soon.”

“No, I’m not. It was about the strangest thing I could think of, though I strongly suspect there’s stuff that I haven’t thought of and wasn’t in your book.”

“I have to agree there. You think I’m wild, but I would guess that I’m just kind of typical. My family is a bit freer with sex and nudity. Well, maybe a lot freer compared to people around here. According to Birgit, you’ll find that to be true in Sweden, so it’s good training for you. Sending some prudish American to Sweden could really rock his world, you know?”

“Didn’t you once call me a prude?”

“Yes, I did. But that’s only because you have your little quirks about words you use and how you deal with sex.”

“My mom thinks I’m out of control.

“No, you have very good control,” she said, giving me a wink.

“That’s not how she means it, Melanie, and you know it! But enough about me.” I took her hand in mine and asked, “How are you and Pete doing?”

“OK, I guess. We’re back together, but there are still problems.”

“Yeah, the problem that you want to get me alone at your house and screw me silly, or repeat the sauna/bathtub thing.”

“That’s part of it.”

“No, that’s a BIG part of it. You know I can’t do that to Pete. And you have to stop bugging him about it. Let it go. It’s in the past. It was fun, but remember that it was you who told me that we were over if you met someone.”

“I guess I did.”

“Yes, you did. And it made sense. I decided then and there that I would never get in between two people in a relationship. And that I would never promise an exclusive relationship if I couldn’t keep it. And I knew I couldn’t. That’s what caused the ultimate problem with Becky and Jennifer. Neither of them was willing to share. Birgit had the same attitude, you know?”