Chapter 92

Flashback – Jack – Later in the morning

We finished the great breakfast prepared by John and I began the drudgery of filing some more fucking paperwork.

Colonel Maggie suddenly remembered, “Jack, we forgot to find you a new aide.”

I teased, “Yeah, I was wondering if you were going to remember that, but I figured with your advanced age...”

Colonel Maggie glared at me and interrupted, “ ... Jack, you might be on my good side for showing me what John can really do if he gets good food supplies, but you’d better not push your luck because I’m sure John could use someone to peel potatoes in the kitchen.”

Then she looked at some paperwork on her desk, gave me a wicked grin that I sure as hell didn’t like and said with a taunt in her voice, “He’s not a Corporal, but I’m sure he will be perfect for the job.”

I backpedaled, “Sir, I’m not sure I need an aide.”

Colonel Maggie agreed, “Oh, I’m sure you don’t! However, after what you’ve done with Sgt. Blaine, and then John, this Marine needs your personal instruction twenty four-seven. He’s a Pvt., his name is Tom and he’s one of the new recruits they are sending me.”

I looked at Colonel Maggie and asked, “He’s only a Pvt.? Not even a Pfc.? What the hell happened? I thought almost everyone exiting basic was at least a Pfc.?”

Colonel Maggie grinned and said, “Don’t you just love a good mystery? What happened in basic is for you to find out.”

I was going to continue when the two CIA agents walked into the office without even knocking or being announced. Colonel Maggie complained, “Who the hell are you and why are you in my office unannounced!”

I sure as hell didn’t like the attitude of either of them so I could tell that Banzai was going to have a royal field day with them unless they adjusted real quick! They sat down without asking, then one of them said, “HQ sent us. We need immediate transportation to the hospital so we can interrogate the prisoner.”

Colonel Maggie glared at them and declared, “I don’t fucking care if the Old Man himself sent you here - you are in my office without permission so get the hell out until your visit is properly announced!”

The mouthy one complained, “Why the fuck should we?”

Colonel Maggie opened her desk drawer, pulled out a pistol, waved it between them and said, “Because I, with the support of my good friend here, ordered you to.”

They held up their hands and the mouthy one said, “Okay we’re leaving, but just so you know, we’re in a hurry.” They left the office as Colonel Maggie called her aide on the phone and said, “Make those two fuckers as uncomfortable as possible. Then have them wait fifteen minutes before you send them in.”

She swore, “Just who in the fuck do they think they are talking to? I know for a fact they would never pull that on the General. If they think they can pull that sort of bullshit once they’re away from HQ, then they need to be educated.”

I grinned at Colonel Maggie and tried to soothe her, “Well Sir, I would say you properly schooled them.”

She laughed and remarked, “Did you see the size of their eyes when I pointed the pistol at them?”

I said, “No Sir, I was behind them and was assisting you.”

Colonel Maggie asked, “What do you mean?”

I held up the pistol I had pointed at them and replied, “They should really know better than to enter and office unannounced in a war zone. I wasn’t sure who they were so I was just being careful.”

Colonel Maggie grinned at me and ordered, “Jack, there’s an M4 behind the door. The next time they come into the office, pick it up and keep them covered.”

I saluted and replied, “Yes Sir!”

Colonel Maggie grinned and proudly announced, “Yes, Tom will be perfect for you.”

Colonel Maggie’s phone rang, she answered and said, “I told you to make sure they waited for fifteen minutes, now don’t bother me again.”

I grinned at Colonel Maggie and she asked, “Jack, what’s on the devious mind of yours?”

I replied, “I was just thinking how the shit’s going to hit the fan when Banzai meets them.”

Flashback – Ben – Back at the formerly captured hospital

George got a call from Colonel Maggie and announced, “The CIA agents are on their way. And Colonel Maggie says they are bringing some real coffee.”

That statement practically made my day! The instant shit in the MREs was crappy so I was looking forward to a real cup of coffee.

I offered, “George, I will meet the chopper when it sets down on the roof.”

George said, “Sorry Banzai, but the CIA officers requested a private room to interrogate the prisoner. I need you to set it up and move the prisoner into the room.”

I asked, “Did they ask for anything special in the room?”

George replied, “They wanted a room with water in it.”

I chuckled, “I figured as much - too bad we don’t have running water.”

George naïvely asked, “Why did they want water?”

I laughed, “Because they are going to water board the shit out of him!”

George complained, “Hell they did that to me during my SERE¹ training before I was deployed. I hated it.”

¹ SERE – Search, Evasion, Resistance and Escape – Defined in an earlier chapter.

I teased, “Hell, what they did to you isn’t even going to be close to what they do to the fucking terrorist.” I further stated, “Well, they are going to have to do without water because we sure as shit don’t have running water. So I hope they bring their own tools.”

I set up a room for the fucking CIA agents with three chairs and a table, then I went up to the prisoner, shocked the fuck out of him so he passed out. I untied him, moved him into the room and tied him to a new building support. I finished just in time because I heard the chopper coming to the roof.

I dashed up to the roof, watched as the CIA fuckers got off the chopper ran up to one of them and asked, “Where’s my coffee?”

The chopper spooled up and left and one of the agents said, “It just left with the chopper. Now Sgt. take us to the Lieutenant.”

I swore, “You stupid mother fuckers! You left my coffee on the chopper because you were too stupid to know better! I should throw both your asses off this roof.”

I could see the fear in their eyes as they backed up. George showed up and the one agents said, “Boy are we glad to see you! I want to report this Sgt. for threatening us: He wanted to throw us off the roof.”

George asked, “Banzai is this true?”

I replied, “Hell yes it’s true! The stupid fuckers left my coffee on the chopper.”

George said, “Excuse us a minute.”

He pulled me to the side and said, “Banzai, don’t agitate these agents or I will have to tell Colonel Maggie.”

I glared at George and said, “Listen George, I’ve had more run-ins with CIA agents than I can count on both hands and every fucking time I’ve been bent over by them. Just keep these two stupid fuckers away from me or so help me God I will throw them off the roof.”

The talkative agent timidly came up and asked, “Excuse me, did the Lieutenant call you Banzai? You aren’t by any chance Banzai Ben?”

I glared at him and answered, “That’s what my friends call me, however you and your friend can call me Sgt. Blaine.”

The agent continued, “We’ve heard of you and I would like to apologize to you for not taking your coffee off the chopper. I will make sure the next incoming chopper has a whole pallet of coffee on it.”

He leaves, goes back and talks with his partner. George asked, “Banzai, what was that all about.”

I grinned at George and said, “The CIA agents who fucked Jack and me over in the past had a bad habit of disappearing. I guess they were warned about me.”

George gasped, “Don’t tell me you killed them?”

I smiled and said, “No I didn’t. They just had unfortunate and terminal accidents brought about by their poor judgement. Listen before you judge me it was during missions for them where they failed to provide extraction for us.”

The agent returned and asked George, “We would like to use your communications equipment, then we would like to see the prisoner.”

George took them to our C&C room.

Flashback – Jack – Later in the morning

Colonel Maggie got a phone call, she answered it then hung up and began to laugh. I looked at her and asked, “What’s so funny?’

She grinned bigger than I had ever seen and said, “That was the mouthy CIA agent. Apparently he left the coffee I sent for Sgt. Blaine on the chopper. He asked if we could send a chopper with a whole pallet of coffee on it.”

I laughed and said, “I guess Banzai put the fear of God in them.”

The phone rang again, Colonel Maggie answered it and I heard her as she said, “Lieutenant, I’m sure that Sgt. Blaine was kidding. Don’t worry because we’re sending a chopper with a whole pallet of coffee on it so that should smooth things over.”

She hung up the phone and laughed, “Sgt. Blaine threatened to throw the CIA agents off the roof. I guess they had heard of him because they apologized to him and then asked for the pallet of coffee. Jack, you weren’t kidding when you said Sgt. Blaine got cranky without his coffee.”

I asked, “So what are you going to do?”

Colonel Maggie smiled and answered, “Send them a whole pallet of coffee of course, and charge it to the CIA.”

Then I remembered my problem, “Colonel Maggie, I have a new problem at home.”

Colonel Maggie asked, “Don’t tell me your wonderful wife is having problems again.”

I felt like an idiot when I said, “Sir, I forgot to set up my bank accounts so Masha could access them.”

Colonel Maggie laughed and taunted, “Jack I can’t believe you implied I had problems remembering because of my advanced age. How could you forget this?”

I confessed, “Sir! I never had this situation before and it slipped my mind.”