Chapter 89

Present – Ben, Jens and others – The trip to the garage

Thom continues, “I hate to tell you this but we have a big problem...”

I swear, “What the fuck is wrong now?”

Thom says, “Ben, you have two terrorist vehicles ahead and closing fast toward you.”

Gretchen says, “Ben, I will try to stop one of them with the drone.”

This was something we hadn’t planned for. I think for a brief moment and order, “Everyone grab something and hold on tight, especially Ira.”

I slam on the brakes, spin the wheel as hard as I fucking can and pray like hell that this piece of shit motorhome doesn’t tip over. Amazingly it remains upright and my plan works: The rear wheels break loose, the ass end of this POS motorhome swings more than halfway around and now we are headed away from the oncoming terrorists! I floor the accelerator and we slowly accelerate.

Jens’ remarks, “Ben! That was incredible driving!”

Mira concurs, “Yes Mr. Blaine, that performance was akin to viewing a cinema.”

We notice a flash behind us and Gretchen reports, “Ben, I was successful in causing one of the terrorist vehicles to crash, however now we are without drone coverage.”

Ira reports, “Male offspring of a female saluki Mr. Blaine, the vehicle is closing and is presently at 500 meters.”

The window explodes in the back of the motorhome and Ira further reports, “They have opened fire on our vehicle may I have permission to return fire?”

I swear, “Hell yes - terminate them!”

Ira’s rifle barks and she orders, “Mira, your assistance is required.”

I ask, “What the hell is wrong now?”

Mira replies, “Mr. Blaine, it appears the terrorists have armored the windscreen of their vehicle. There are only two small slots for them to jointly occulate the road and use as firing ports.”

Ira’s and Mira’s rifles bark and they complain, “The slot is extremely small and with the movement of this vehicle it’s almost impossible to fire through the slot. It also appears as if they have fortified the engine compartment and thus firing into it produces no effect.”

Jens smiles at me, pulls up her purse from between the seats and I ask, “When did you start carrying a purse?”

Jens opens her purse, holds up a hand grenade and says, “I thought a couple of these might possibly come in handy.”

I praise her brilliance, “I could kiss you if I wasn’t driving.”

Ira orders, “Mr. Blaine, please do not play hockey of tonsil with Ms. Blaine while the terrorists continue to close upon our position.

I reply, “Jens has several hand grenades in her purse. Please make use of them.”

Mira runs up, takes the three grenades from Jens and declares, “This was a very wise idea Ms. Blaine.”

Jens praises her, “Mira, that was almost normal talking.”

As Ira tries the first hand grenade, we hear its explosion and Ira swears, “Male offspring of a female saluki! The terrorists operated their vehicle in a manner to avoid the grenade.”

Mira reports, “And they continue to close.”

Ira orders, “Mira, we will deploy both hand grenades simultaneously, on opposite paths. Then they cannot avoid them.”

Jens says, “I hope you’re right because those are our last two grenades.”

Suddenly all hell breaks loose behind us! There are two huge explosions almost simultaneously so I demand, “What the hell was that?”

Ira informs me, “Mr. Blaine, the terrorist vehicle exploded.”

Thom says, “Don’t worry about that terrorist vehicle since the predator drone following you took it out with an AGM-114.”

I asked, “When they hell did we pick up a predator drone and wasn’t it a little close to us to take it out with a Hellfire?”

Thom replies, “Don’t look this fucking gift horse in the mouth and be thankful for the support!”

Jens calms things down by saying, “Thanks Thom, we are very thankful for the assistance.”

I’m still fuming as we finally reach the garage. Thom advises, “Ben, no one has followed you or is watching you from the rooftops. Please make the vehicle exchange.”

I pull into the garage and it’s a fucking hotbed of activity.

I no sooner stop the motorhome than Jens, Mira and Ira bail out the side door. My place is taken by an FBI agent who looks remarkably like me. He buckles in and hauls ass out the other end of the garage. The four of us are quickly moved to the semi-truck. The back doors are open and as we get into the trailer I’m left speechless. The doors are closed, I feel a small jerk and realize the semi is moving.

Jens comes over and helpfully says, “Ben, close your mouth or you might attract flies.”

Mira and Ira laugh and Ira mimics, “Mr. Blaine, close your mouth or you might attract Diperta Brachycera.”

I hug the hell out of Jens and ask, “So, what’s behind all the different doors?”

Mira excitedly asks, “Ms. Blaine, might I give Mr. Blaine the grand tour?”

Jens says, “Sure Mira, have fun.”

I continue to hug Jens and reply, “I think I’m bringing you with me.”

There’s a big control panel in the middle of the room and approaching it Mira explains, “This is communication and the drone device command and control. We have full time encrypted internet access and can control up to three drone devices simultaneously. They are launched automatically from roof panels.”

Jens includes, “We also have full time video feeds for the cab of the truck and all sides of the trailer.”

Mira gives additional information, “But best of all, the panel can be flipped over, like this and it becomes a billiard table. Would you care to participate in a game?” She uses one hand to flip the table and sure enough, it’s a hell of a nice pool table. Mira continues, “It even easily moves out of the way to provide us an exercise area.”

I shake my head about the game and reply, “I’m not ready for a match right now - especially with the truck moving.”

Mira brags, “Ira and I have a wager on which one of us defeats you in billiards first.”

I laugh and ask, “What’s the amount of the bet.”

Ira walks up and answers, “A manicure and pedicure from the other participant.”

Jens complains, “I already lost to both of them because they are really good.”

They proudly show off the manicures given by Jens.

Mira continues, “The room at this side of the trailer is the necessary room.”

We walk over to it, open the door and I ask, “A real bathtub and a shower, what in the hell?”

Jens says, “Yeah, we splurged on the tub but I thought it might get some use.” She hugs me and I understand what she means.

Mira says, “We have a huge amount of water storage and can filter the water for reuse if necessary.”

I look at Mira and ask, “Even the water from the toilet?”

Mira explains, “There is no water in the toilet since it is an incineration sanitary device.”

That makes me happy because the thought of drinking my own piss, even if it is filtered doesn’t appeal to me.

We leave the bathroom, cross to the other side, Mira opens the door and says, “This probably will not interest you, but it is the kitchen.”

Jens giggles and tells the twins, “Boy are you wrong! Ben is a heck of a cook and loves to practice his art.”

I look at the range and ask, “Don’t tell me that’s a Jenn-Air range?”

Jens hugs me and says, “Of course it is! And before you ask we have the griddle and the grill attachments.”

I rub my hands together and say, “I can’t wait to try out the grill.”

Jens further states, “Yeah, Ben can cook things on the grill that most people only dream of cooking on the stove.”

Mira continues, “We have a fully functional refrigerator completely full of food items. Plus a freezing unit which contains much meat.”

Jens adds, “There’s even some wild game in it.”

I hopefully ask, “Please tell me there’s antelope in it.”

Jens hugs me and says, “Of course there is - I want some of your chili.”

Ira states, “I do not believe that your chili is as spicy as Ms. Blaine has indicated, it would not even be edible if it was.”

I tell Ira, “Don’t try to influence me to make chili tonight. I will make it when I’m ready.”

Mira walks to the front of the trailer and says, “The door on the left is your bedroom unit, the right is our bedroom unit. They are both quite sound proof.”

I open the door to our bedroom and it looks great especially after I notice mirrors on the ceiling.

I question, “Where are all the weapons?”

Mira laughs and says, “You walked past them when you entered the trailer.”

We walk back and along both side walls just inside the doors are cabinets, Mira opens them and says, “The weapons are located in the cabinet by caliber, with the larger calibers being furthest from the door.”

I ask, “Is that a fifty caliber?”

Ira confirms, “Yes Mr. Blaine it is. You have a sharp eye.”

We walk across to the other cabinet, Mira opens it and says, “These are all the bladed weapons.”

I notice their Katanas, plus other knives and throwing stars. One particular knife attracts my attention, I reach in, pull it out, look at Jens and comment, “I thought this was destroyed in the cabin fire?”

Jens smiles and explains, “Girls this is the Ka-Bar knife that Ben carried when he was a Marine. And Ben you are right it was destroyed in both fires so I had the leather handle replaced both times.”

I fight back some tears and say, “I thought this was lost forever.”

Jens suggests, “Ben, why don’t you wear it now.”

I smile at Jens and say, “Not tonight, but later I will.”

Ira challenges, “Mr. Blaine, I would love to challenge you in a martial arts competition.”

I reply to Ira, “Not tonight, but soon we will spar.”

I hug Jens, look at the girls and say, “You all have done a wonderful job with the trailer, I can’t think of anything else we would ever need. Now tell me why we’re only staying gone for two weeks?”

Jens smiles and says, “Ben, the FBI has found more terror cells which are looking for us. We’re really not sure when we will be returning to the cabin. We will definitely not return until long after Thom has the cabin rebuilt.”

I reply, “Well, that’s fine with me. Now there’s only one thing missing.”

The girls give me a puzzled look and I ask, “Where’s a Barcalounger for me?”

Mira giggles and says, “Mr. Blaine, did you not see the one in your bedroom?”

Jens adds, “Ben, we each have one.”

I smile and say, “Hell, I might not want to ever leave this place.”

Present – Samantha and Stacy – Stacy’s release

Bill and I made sure that Stacy’s release from the mental hospital wasn’t made public since I didn’t want my BFF to deal with a media storm. We took one of the Summers Enterprises nondescript vans to pick her up and I went inside to wait for her. It was longer than expected but Stacy finally came out accompanied by a doctor. The doctor saw me and said, “Make sure that Ms. Summers continues to take her medicine.”

I replied, “Yes Sir! I will make sure she takes all her medicine.”

Stacy hugs me and says, “It’s good to see you Sam.”

I hug her back and reply, “It seemed like you were in here forever.”

Stacy comments, “You should have seen it from in here - it was terribly boring. The only thing I had to look forward to was Bill’s report each day.”

We walk outside, Stacy sees the van and asks, “Why no limousine?”

I reply, “We wanted to keep your release private so we felt the van would be better.”

Stacy admits, “Yeah that’s probably a better idea.” She takes the front seat and I take one of the back seats.

Bill says, “It’s good to see you Ms. Summers.”

Stacy says, “It’s not as good as being out of there! There are some crazy-assed people in that hospital. I think if I had stayed any longer I would have gone crazy.”

Bill asks, “Do we need to pick up any prescriptions on the way home?”

Stacy shocks us when she says, “Fuck the doctors and fuck their prescriptions, now that I’m out of that nuthouse I’m not taking any of their shit.”

Bill asks a logical question, “Ms. Summers, unless you are taking your prescription medicine you will fail the monthly drug tests, you will violate your terms of release and they will put you back into the clinic.”