Chapter 83

Present – Jens, Ben and others – The plan

I pull Ben to the side and suggest, “Ben I have a great plan that should work.”

Ben still argues, “Jens, the only logical thing is for me to leave...”

I interrupt his crazy thought with a kiss, pull away and protest, “ ... Ben, you’re not thinking correctly! Even if you leave, the cabin and I will still be a target.” Then I lay out my plan, “So, we’re both going to leave. We’ll rent or buy a motor home, fill it with weapons and leave like we’re going to Disneyland. And since the terrorists seem to monitor Samantha’s reports, we will get her to do a big report on it.”

Ben gets with the plan when he thinks out loud, “I wonder if we can get a motorhome like they had on the movie Stripes.”

I giggle and ask, “Was that the motorhome that was more of a tank than anything else?”

Ben smiles and responds, “Yeah that’s the one. I wonder if they make any armored motor homes?”

Thom walks over and interrupts, “I couldn’t help but overhear your discussion. I think it’s a great plan and I have a suggestion which might make it better.”

I reply, “Well Thom, don’t leave us hanging, what is it?”

Thom says, “Don’t waste your time trying to find an armored motorhome. I will talk to TSIFFTS and we will get you and armored trailer and semi to pull it. But first, rent a normal motorhome and have Samantha do a video of you leaving in it. We will make the switch to the TSIFFTS asset later when we’re sure we’re not being watched. In fact, I will even make sure it’s disguised as a normal semi-trailer.”

Ben asks, “How hard are those to drive? And won’t I need a CDL?”

Thom says, “The corners are the tricky part because it’s easy to cut them too close and run into shit. But hell, it’s armored and if you do that you will just tear the hell out of whatever you run into while scratching the paint on the trailer. Oh yeah, backing up is a real bitch so always try to pull into places where you don’t need to back up. Yeah, you’ll both need CDLs but we can get you two CDLs with no problems.”

I ask, “I know most of them are setup as mobile command centers, do you have one that’s more like a house?”

Thom replies, “Jennifer, they are modular so all we need to do is tell the TSIFFTS what you need and they will configure it.”

Ben asks a very practical question, “Just how armored are they?”

Thom replies, “They will withstand any rifle rounds including a fifty caliber. Shit, they will even take a hit from an RPG without a problem as long as it’s not the wheels that are hit.”

Of course Ben has to ask, “So what happens if the wheels are hit?”

Thom replies, “The trailer either tips over or you drag the shit out of it. But hell, unless someone spills the beans, no one will know where the fuck you are.”

I ask, “Who is going to take care of making sure the cabin is built and then keeping it safe from the Muslim terrorists?”

Thom offers, “Jennifer and Ben, if you would allow me to stay here, I will gladly take care of that for you. I just need all the details first. The second problem we have is that you two are very recognizable.”

I look at Ben and Ben says...

Thom has been a shitload of help since I’ve been back - I can’t believe all he’s done. The semi from the TSIFFTS is a great idea but I’m just not sure I can drive one of those rigs. I look at Thom and say, “Thom, I’m not sure I want Jens and me to be the only drivers, and I’m also not sure what to do about disguising ourselves.”

Thom smiles and says, “Getting a couple drivers for you will be no problem at all. And Ben, if I remember right don’t you have a couple of ‘extra’ passports.”

Jens giggles and says, “I know about Erast Fricken Fandoren, but who is the other one?”

Ben smiles and answers, “Paulo Roberto Fernandez.”

The light bulb appears above her head as Jens finally realizes, “Ben, you rented the campground in Glacier National Park under Erast Petrovich Fandorin because you wanted me to find you!”

Ben smiles at me and says, “Of course I did. Don’t tell me you’re having a blonde moment!”

I giggle and say, “I guess I never thought about it until now.” Jens pauses and suggests, “Ben, I think I might have just had another blonde moment. Why don’t we take that trip to Russia to get your elbow fixed?”

Thom shoots down my new blonde moment by saying, “Unless the surgery is life threatening, I sure as hell wouldn’t go to Russia. Think for a moment about all the Chechen terrorists blowing the fuck out of everything.”

Ben interjects, “Thom’s right - I had a huge run in with them when I was there.”

I can’t resist teasing Ben so I smile and ask him, “Was the huge run ins name Tatiana?”

Ben blushes but I save him, “Don’t worry my love, I have forgiven you for all your past indiscretions.”

Mira and Ira walk over and Ira orders, “You are not travelling anywhere absent our participation.”

Mira reinforces the order, “That is correct. We are your personal protectors and any travel plans must include us.”

Thom gives them a strange look but then says, “You know, with the right clothes and hairstyles, they could almost pass as your daughters.”

Jens heatedly complains, “Thom are you saying I look old enough to be their mother?”

Realizing the quicksand which confronts him, Thom quickly backpedals, “No, I was just thinking out loud and you’re right, it’s crazy.”

Thom continues, “Now let’s go over the configuration you will need...

Present – Bill, Samantha and Inga – Stacy’s place

Bill walks up and teases, “I should have known I would find you two chow hounds here.”

Vic laughs and responds, “Like hell, we know you actually came here for a plate of your own. Let me go get Inga for you.”

Vic leaves to get Inga and Bill asks, “Where’s Inga???”

I reply, “The old guy who almost broke Stacy’s nose came in the restaurant, they talked and Inga ran crying to the kitchen.”

Bill swears, “Damn, how did he get in here! I need to have a talk with the rest of my security team and ban him from this building.”

Vic and Inga walk out of the kitchen and Inga sets down a plate of Beef Bourguignon and apologizes, “Sorry about that, I needed to powder my nose.”

Bill says, “Like hell you did! I heard what really happened and I will make sure he never comes in here again.”

Inga bites her lip and pleads, “Bill, please relax about this. Believe it or not, I still might want to see him.”

Bill whines, “Women, who can understand them?”

I say, “I understand us perfectly.” Then I look at Inga and ask, “Don’t you understand us?”

Inga laughs and agrees, “Of course I do and the process is rather simple. I wonder what their problem is.”

Bill finally notices my wine and says, “Alright, the liquor license finally came through!” Then he says, “Samantha, when you’re finished eating I would like to go over the plans for your castle and the new offices.”

I’m not exactly sure what’s going on. All I know is that I’ve spent what seems like too much money on my castle. I remember that Stacy told me to be frugal but the remodeling seems to be costing a small fortune.

I smile at Bill and suggest, “Well, I’m done. If I eat anymore I will have to exercise even more. How about we head up to the new offices and look at the plans.”