Chapter 80

Flashback – Ben – On the SURV

The pilot of the SURV suggests, “You might want to get on the M249¹.”

¹ M249 – Light Machine Gun formerly called the Squad Automatic Weapon.

I asked, “Why is that? I thought the towelheads didn’t shoot at the SURVs.”

He replied, “That used to be the case, but then they got smart and figured out that was how we were moving a hell of a lot of forces. Now we’re lucky if we don’t get strafed with AK fire and have at least one or two RPGs launched at us each trip.”

I jumped up and manned the 249 just in time because all hell broke loose. The fuckers were firing AKs at us from the bridges. The M249 made short work of most of them.

The pilot ordered, “Make sure you check our six because some of the sneaky motherfuckers wait until we pass and then jump up to fire.”

I checked our six just in time as one of the fuckers jumped up with an RPG. I nailed him just as he fired and caused the rocket to spiral off course and slam into the bank of the river. It was a stroke of luck because it blew the fuck out of a bunch of hidden towelheads waiting in ambush. I spun the M249 around and cleaned up what was left.

We started taking a buttload of fire from both sides of the river and the bridges. The pilot juked the SURV around like a drunk trying to walk home from a bar at night. I was getting concerned until an AH-1W Super Cobra gunship came down and strafed the shit out of both banks of the river in addition to the bridges. I continued to help with the M249 and together we shut down most of the towelheads.

The pilot complained, “It’s about fucking time he showed up.”

I recognized the number on the AH-1W and asked the pilot, “You got a radio you can contact the chopper with?”

The pilot replied, “Of course, do you want to talk to him?”

I answered, “Affirmative, I know the pilot and I want to give him some shit.”

He handed me the mike, I keyed it and squawked, “Shit, it’s about time you stopped RABFO² and did some real work for a change.”

² RABFO – Riding Around the Base Fucking Off

The Cobra pilot replied, “Shit if this is who I think it is, I just wasted good ammo. Hell you didn’t even need my help.”

I teased, “So you still ARMY³?” I emphasized ARMY in such a way he knew what I meant.

³ARMY Ain’t Ready for Marines Yet.

He replied, “Better than one of Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children.”

I asked, “Then what they hell are you doing flying one of our AH-1Ws?”

Sam replied, “Something ‘terrible’ happened to my AH-64 Apache and they couldn’t fix it.”

I was sure that Sam was the one who did the ‘something terrible’ because he loved the AH-1 series choppers and hated the Apache.

I laughed and closed with, “Thanks again my friend, I owe you a beer.”

He said, “I’ll take you up on that if we can ever keep you away from the nurses. By the way, I’m with you until you reach your final destination.”

I laughed and the SURV pilot asked, “Who the hell is that?”

I replied, “That’s my good friend Sam. We’ve bailed each other out of some difficult situations in the past.”

The pilot said, “Well it looks like he’s going to escort us to the landing point and then continue with you to the hospital.”

I asked, “So what’s it like at the landing point?”

The pilot said, “There’s still a hell of a battle going on for the hospital so it’s going to be bad. You’re going to have to break through enemy lines and then hope you don’t get shot in the ass getting to the hospital.”

I felt better knowing Sam was around and figured he would clear a path to the hospital for me.

Flashback – Jack – Office work

I finished off lunch and went back to work. I cleared up the first pile of folders and Colonel Maggie praised my work, “Damn, I might have to keep you as my aide.”

I pretended to be horrified, “And deprive Banzai of my excellent spotting?”

Colonel Maggie laughed and replied, “Jack, you and I both know that Banzai is so good he doesn’t really need a spotter.”

I countered, “Ma’am I do other things besides spotting for him. I help to keep him out of trouble and from making bad decisions.”

Colonel Maggie laughed and said, “Don’t worry Jack, I was just yanking your chain. But remember after this week you’re going to be training the green Marines.”

I sighed, “Yeah, I remember.”

Colonel Maggie scolded, “Jack Reynolds, get your head out of your ass! You’re perfect to train the new Marines! If you don’t believe me, just look at how well Sgt. Blaine turned out. Hell, if you weren’t so dead set against it you would be a DI⁴ by now.”

⁴ DI – Drill Instructor

I laughed and said, “No way! I’m not ever going to wear one of those stupid campaign hats.”

Colonel Maggie laughed, “I think you would look great in a campaign hat, besides you are getting a little old to be out in the field.”

Colonel Maggie worried me with her last comment. Hell, what if she was serious?

She began to laugh and I felt better until she said, “Damn Jack, I’ve got the perfect Corporal to be your aide.”

I didn’t like the sound of her laughter at all so I asked, “So, who is it?”

Colonel Maggie continued, “Well, he’s a bit more than a Corporal, he’s an E5 (Sergeant).

I gave her a jaded look and she continued with the laughter, “I’m going to make the old cook your aide.”

I started to complain but Colonel Maggie held up her hand and said, “Jack, it’s going to be great! I want you to give this bastard so much shit he hates the day he was born. Hell, run his ass ragged all day and night.”

I asked, “I suppose I don’t have a say in this?”

Colonel Maggie laughed, “You supposed right.”

I had one more hope, “What about when Banzai comes back since they are the same rank.”

Colonel Maggie said, “We will deal with that when it happens, but get used to it Jack - starting tonight he’s your new aide.”

Flashback – Masha – That evening

We sat at the table, Louise helped with the plates and silverware while Gwen remarked, “Something smells wonderful?”

Louise said, “We’re having Yankee Pot Roast tonight, but more important than that, Linda called me Mama today when I came home.”

There were congratulations all the way around, especially for me teaching her so well. Once again Brenda asked, “Masha, couldn’t you watch our children too?”

I smiled at her and declined, “Sorry but with Louise moving in, I’m not going to have as much free time and I know I need to reserve some free time for myself.”

I distracted them from further asking by setting the roast pan on a trivet on the table and opening the lid. There was a chorus of Ah’s and Louise remarked, “I still don’t understand how Masha can watch Linda all day and still make a meal like this.”

Gwen asked, “What about food for the children.”

I replied, “I almost forgot - they are eating our food.” I grabbed the blender container off the counter and put a mixture of vegetables and meat in it. I then walked over to the blender base and pureed the food. I came back, put a little on some small plastic plates for the children and said, “Let’s see how they like this.”

Linda was doing her best to eat as Louise helped her. The other two children weren’t so sure about the food.

Louise informed her friends, “Masha discovered that the main ingredient in most baby food is water and felt we were paying a high price for water. She said this is how they did things in Russia and I think it’s a great idea.”

Brenda said, “Masha I hate to tell you this, but Tina only eats fruits.”

I was concerned about this, but hid my concern and replied, “There’s a full bag of baby food on the counter and you are welcome to find some fruit for her in there.”

Louise asked, “No wine tonight?”

I smiled and answered, “That’s correct, we are doing Taebo and because of that, we will not have wine.”

Dinner was over and I hated watching Tina eating just fruit for dinner. I could no longer tolerate it so I looked at Brenda and asked, “Brenda, aren’t you concerned that Tina only eats fruits? It’s not a balanced meal.”

Brenda passed the buck, “Yes I am, but my stupid babysitter started it and I can’t find a way to stop it.”

I began to think of some possible solutions and changed the subject, “Okay, it’s time for a workout.”

Gwen said, “After a meal like that I hope I don’t throw up.”

I had noticed she’d eaten too much but didn’t say anything because she would learn. I replied, “Well if you do then you can clean it up.”

We all laughed, I took them to the garage and Louise asked, “With three of us learning, which practice dummies will we use?”

The children were all in the rolling baby chairs and having great fun in the garage (I had made sure before I ever let Linda into the garage that anything dangerous was out of reach).

I replied, “Louise you will use Major Mike as always, Gwen and Brenda will each take opposite sides of the heavy bag, once I put on the floor strap. I placed the floor strap on the heavy bag, so it wouldn’t swing, put Brenda on one side and then spent some time showing her how to punch so she didn’t hurt her hand. Then I did the same with Gwen.

Louise was ready so I looked at the women, started the music and ordered, “Keep up.”