Chapter 76

Flashback – Ben and Jack – Back at the base the next day

I was rudely awakened by the sound of snoring in stereo! I recognized Jack’s nasty snore but the other was new to me so I sat up in bed and then saw the Corporal sleeping on the floor. Immediately my stomach growled and reminded me I didn’t eat last night. I got out of bed, looked at the bed and was disgusted at myself: That sure as hell wasn’t a proper way to make a bed. I stripped the bed down (and was glad I did because I found a couple of used condoms on the mattress), I cleaned up the mess from the condoms, then I made a proper Marine bed and tested it by bouncing a quarter on it. The fucking quarter not only bounced on the bed, it jumped clean off the bed and hit the floor.

The noise wakened Jack and he said, “What the hell was that?”

I answered, “Just testing my bed and it passed.”

Jack complained, “It’s a damn good thing you made that bed better because last night it looked like a fucking train wreck.” I retrieved the quarter and determined it was time for me to tweak Jack’s nose a little, “Okay, I’m done with my bed, now it’s your turn.”

Jack grumbled, “Like hell it is! I’m on bed rest so there’s no fucking way I need to make this bed.”

I jumped because there was a knock on the door. I thought it might be another nurse then I heard, “This is Colonel Maggie, open the door immediately.”

I went to the door, opened it and Colonel Maggie walked in. She took one look at the room and announced, “Sgt. Blaine, it looks like you’re the only one not goldbricking this morning. Damn nice job on your bed.” I handed her the quarter I had retrieved earlier and suggested, “Would you care to test it yourself?”

She handed the quarter back to me and said, “Son, these old eyes can tell just by looking it’s a proper Marine bed. She glared at Jack and said, “Sgt. Reynolds what is your ass still doing in bed?”

Jack smiled and answered, “Sorry Colonel Maggie, I’m on bed rest.”

Colonel Maggie laughed, “Like hell you are! I just talked to the doctors and you’re released for light duty work. I have a crapload of files in my office that need to be put away.”

I had to bite my tongue because Jack hated filing almost as much as I did. I decided to help the old fart by offering, “Colonel Maggie Sir! If you haven’t had breakfast, I would love to make you an MRE.”

The Corporal said, “Colonel, Banzai does things with an MRE that are unbelievable.”

Colonel Maggie looked at me and said, “Of course I haven’t had breakfast. I refuse to eat the slop that the Marine they gave me as a so-called cook prepares. What choices do I have?”

The Corporal opened up a foot locker full of MREs and offered her a choice with a sweeping gesture. Colonel Maggie began to search through them, found a good one and said, “Okay, let’s see what you can do with the Turkey Tetrazzini.”

Jack ordered, “Banzai, how about beef pot roast for me?”

The Corporal asked, “Banzai, could I have Cheese Tortellini?”

I smiled at the Corporal and agreed, “I think I’ll join you, in your choice.”

I cleared off our rifle cleaning table, sanitized it and went to work. The Corporal watched closely and remarked, “I made some MREs for myself and Jack last night but they weren’t as good as yours.”

I moved to a different footlocker, pulled out a bunch of spices, some butter packets and a bottle of wine. I looked at the ‘extra’ supplies, pulled a fifty out of my pocket, handed it to the Corporal and said, “It looks like we need to replenish our supplies.”

The Corporal answered, “Yes Banzai, as soon as we’re finished eating. If you don’t mind I’d love to watch what you’re doing.”

I smiled at him and said, “No problem, I wish I could tell you exactly what I do, but each type of MRE requires different treatment.”

I was ready to put them in the heaters, took a look at one heater and swore, “Fucking son of a bitch! I’m glad I noticed this.”

Colonel Maggie asked, “What’s wrong?”

I walked over to Colonel Maggie, showed her the heater and commented, “Someone has fucked with this heater, if I had added the water it would have exploded.”

Then I called the Corporal over, showed him the fucking modifications to the heater and said, “Make sure you check every heater before you use them.”

He gulped and asked, “Would it have killed all of us?”

I laughed and answered, “No, but it would have covered us in food.”

The MREs were done so I passed them out while mine continued to heat. Colonel Maggie asked, “Aren’t you going to eat?”

I smiled and said, “I will after I make dessert.”

I finished making the Recon cookies grabbed my MRE and asked, “I haven’t heard anything, how do you like your MREs?”

Jack answered, “Awesome as always.”

The Corporal added, “This is Nirvana.”

I look at Colonel Maggie and she said, “This is the best food I’ve eaten in a long damn time. Sgt., it’s unfortunate that you’re needed elsewhere otherwise you would be our new cook.”

I smiled at her and responded, “Very fortunate for me because while I like doctoring MREs I don’t think I would like to be a full time cook.”

I said, “Now for the pièce de résistance!”

I handed everyone a Recon cookie and said, “Enjoy your dessert.”

Colonel Maggie remarked, “Perhaps I spoke too soon, I might make you the cook anyway.”

I reminded her, “Is it easier to replace a cook or a sniper?”

She laughed, “A cook of course and I do think ours is going to be reassigned. In fact Jack, I want you to start training him with the new recruits.”

Jack frowned and said, “When is that happening?”

Colonel Maggie said, “Remember, you’re on light office work this week but next week you start to train the new recruits. By the way, if you give him hell, it won’t bother me at all.”

I asked, “So when can I get the hell out of here?”

Colonel Maggie says, “As soon as possible, because the nurses are still fighting over you.”

I smiled and asked, “Should I gear up and am I going back to work with George?”

Colonel Maggie responded, “Yes you need to gear up and you are going back to the work with who you and Jack lovingly called ‘the Butterbar’. You’re going to be his first Sergeant and continue to teach him the ropes.”

My curiosity was piqued so I asked, “What happened to the Captain?”

Colonel Maggie laughed and answered, “By now he’s probably freezing his ass off in Thule.”

Jack laughed and commented, “It couldn’t happen to a better Captain.”

I dumped my pack on the floor and began to go through everything while Colonel Maggie ordered, “Sgt. Reynolds, when the fuck are you going to get to work?”

Jack got out of bed and I could tell (only because I’ve known him so long) that his lower back was hurting. Jack replied, “As soon as I take care of my necessary things.”

Colonel Maggie said, “Good, I expect to see you in the office in an hour. Sgt. Blaine a SURV is leaving in thirty minutes, make sure you’re on it.”

I sassed, “Yes Sir!”

She threatened as she left the room, “Keep it up and you will be our new cook.”

I went over to Jack, handed him one of the pain pills and said, “Don’t take so many of these this time that it makes you go crazy.”

He popped it in his mouth, swallowed it without water and said, “Thanks, I think I have a handle on it now. I need to take them on a schedule, not just when I feel pain.”

I affirmed, “That’s correct Jack, if you take them on a schedule they will work better and hopefully you won’t get addicted to them.” I asked, “How is your back?”

Jack said, “It hurts all the fucking time and it’s not from the surgery.”

I tweaked Jack a little, “Just make sure not to carry too many files and hurt your back more.”

He swore, “Son of a bitch, I hate office fucking work!”

I tossed a good handful of salt onto Jack’s open complaint, “Don’t worry, next week you will be training recruits.”

He swore, “Dammit Banzai, don’t you need to be leaving or something?”

I finished my pack, made sure the UOP pack was ready, checked my rifles and said, “Well you guys have fun while I’m gone. Corporal, why don’t you get another cot in here so you don’t have to sleep on the floor?”

I just hoped like hell I could make it to the SURV without being attacked by a nurse...

Flashback – Masha – The next day

I began to make a healthy breakfast: We were having organic steel cut oatmeal with raisins in it, with a lightly fried piece of ham. No more of these huge breakfasts with loads of sugar and butter.

I finished as Louise came to the kitchen table and I said, “Perfect timing.” I set the food in front of Louise, she looked at the oatmeal and immediately asked, “Do you have any sugar for this?”

I suggested, “With the raisins in it you might find you don’t need any sugar. Why don’t you try it first?”

I am happily feeding Linda and she obviously loved the oatmeal. I watched as Louise took a bite and commented, “I’m not sure how you and Linda can eat this without extra sugar.”

I replied, “Your American taste buds have been indoctrinated to sugar because virtually every item you sell in the store has added sugar in it. At first Linda was the same way, she wanted sweets things all the time. It took about a week but as you can now see, Linda enjoys natural food.”