Chapter 4

Flashback – Ben and Jack – A new mission

Jack finally realizes many of the rest of the Marines hate us, but after some thought he says he has a plan so I ask, "So what do we do to fix this?"

Jack rubbed his hands together - which was usually a sign that he had figured out something really good. He replied, "These are Marines we're talking about so we don't have to dazzle them with brilliance..."

I helped Jack to finish the famous quote, " ... We're going to baffle them with bullshit."

Jack chuckled and said, "Damn I trained you well! So, what we need to do is start a serious campaign of dis-information."

I asked, "So we're going to counteract what was shown on the television?"

Jack answered, "Exactly - and it will be easy as hell to do. We'll tell everyone that what they saw on television was Russian propaganda. You know that none of the Marines really wanted us to have a good time in Russia so they will swallow this story hook, line and sinker."

I had a serious question that I had to bring up, "Okay, but what about Masha?"

Jack laughed and continued, "That's a piece of cake, I will tell everyone I knocked her up and did the 'honorable thing'."

I thought for a moment then added an additional question, "Okay, how are you going to handle it when the other Marines laugh at you and say you should have left Masha in Russia? And they will probably call her a bitch."

Jack smiled at me and answered, "Of course they will - but it won't bother me because I know the truth. Now if you're finished with all the questions let's get started."

Flashback – Captain M – A new mission

I made it back to my seat, sat down, immediately jumped right back up and yelled, "What the fuck was that, it felt like a bee bit my ass!"

The boney bitch looked over and sarcastically complained, "Captain, why the hell are you making so much noise? What is your problem?"

I took out my flashlight, checked my seat and found some fucker had put a thumbtack on it. I wanted to swear but I controlled my temper and just stated the facts, "Some fucker on this bus is playing games. They put a thumbtack on my seat."

She laughed and answered as her voice dripped with sarcasm, "Well Captain, that's to be expected because you're not very well liked – in direct contrast to my wonderful relation to the troops."

I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing because she was the most hated person on this damn bus.

She unfastened her seat belt and announced, "I'm going to the head." She marched up to the front head, bypassed all the waiting Marines, banged on the door and demanded, "Stop beating your meat and get the hell out of the head."

The Marines in the line laughed as a private flew out of the head and profusely apologized, "Sorry Sir."

I figured that turnabout is fair play so I set the fucking thumbtack on the boney bitch's seat, after I first wiped my ass on it. I hoped she got a fucking infection and died.

She took an inordinate amount of time in the head, I was sure she was probably jackhammering herself with her vibrator because she was addicted to sex. Some of the other Marines in the line start to get desperate and moved to the head at the back of the bus.

She finally opened the door and the next Marine practically ran her over getting into the head. She shouted over her shoulder at him, "Sorry about the smell, I had Mexican food last night." The other Marines in the line laughed at her comment.

She came back to her seat. I was watching out of the corner of my eye as she started to sit down but as she was almost down she stopped, flipped on the overhead light and exclaimed, "Ah ha! It was a good thing I was smart enough to check my seat because there is a thumbtack on it. This wouldn't by any chance be your thumbtack would it Captain?"

I feigned innocence, "I don't know what you're talking about."

She gave me that ugly-assed fucking smile of hers and countered, "Well Captain, I think you do so let me return it to you."

She jabbed the fucking adulterated thumbtack into my arm and I swore, "You bi..."

She interrupted, " ... I would be careful, Captain, about finishing that word unless you want to be sent back to Thule."

The fucking boney bitch had me by the balls and she knew it! I never finished my sentence but decided I needed retribution, not just on the Sgts., but also on the boney bitch. And if I could kill three fucking birds with one stone that would be even better...

Flashback – Masha – At home

It was another boring day where I was trapped in my wonderful house. I sat in the kitchen drinking my tea and pondering how I could extricate myself from this terrible situation.

I looked at the big brown folder that Ben left me which was setting on the kitchen counter. It contained the supposed 'monetary wedding gift' and I decided it was time to open it. I was shocked when I opened it, looked inside and immediately pulled out several maps. The first map was of our neighborhood with our house marked and the routes to several stores highlighted. Beside each route Ben had even written the distance in kilometers. I noticed one of the routes was labeled 'bus stop'. I quickly opened the second map and it was a bus route with a time table for the whole city; a note fell out which I held in my hand while I studied the routes. Once again, because of Ben's thoughtfulness I would not be a prisoner in my wonderful house.

I finally read the note:

Masha,

The buses only run from 0500 until 2300, if you are out and miss a bus take one of the yellow taxis home. However be careful of the buses as many of them are used by weird people.

Take care and enjoy yourself

Ben

I looked again at the maps and knew what I was going to do. There was a market close enough to the house (3 km) for me to walk there and buy some essentials. I quickly finished my tea, ran into the bathroom and took a nice shower, dried off, put on my makeup a nice blouse and a skirt. I was not aware of the price of things in America because Jack and I had only been to the market once, so I just in case I put five twenty dollar bills in my wallet, put my wallet into my favorite purse, put on my jacket and departed, with the map in hand, to go shopping.

It seemed strange to me that I was the only person walking on this wonderful sidewalk since by this time the sidewalks in Moscow would be packed and many times we were jostled while we walked. But I wasn't going to complain because it was a sunny and slightly warm day. I did get slightly concerned when a police car slowed as it drove past me; I was worried that they would harass me for a bribe as done by the road police in Russia. However, they kept moving and my heart rate returned to normal.

I finally arrived at the market, went inside and for several reasons could not believe my eyes...

Flashback – Jennifer – out for dinner

So far Daddy's strategy of eating out for every meal was working great. I stopped having gas and diarrhea and also stopped getting constipated. The hardest meal to eat out was breakfast, but Daddy (did I mention sometimes he was a genius?) had a plan for that. He told mother that I had an early exercise class at the base gymnasium. We would stop by the base McDonalds and get Egg McMuffins and coffee for breakfast. Then so wouldn't have to tell a lie, I would go to the gym until it was time to go to school.

Mother did pack me lunches for school each day, but I threw them in the trash and used the money Daddy gave me to eat the school lunch. The school lunches were nothing to brag about, in fact they were terrible most days, but even at that I still didn't have the stomach problems as before.

The first day was almost over, we thought we were home free when Daddy picked me up and said, "Jennifer, mother said she was tired and didn't want to eat out tonight."

I complained, "Rats Daddy! I was finally feeling normal."

Daddy interjected, "Yeah so was I."

I thought for a moment, clapped my hands and excitedly said, "I know Daddy, let's pick up Chinese takeout on the way home."

Daddy grabbed my hand and said, "Jennifer sometimes you are brilliant." It made me feel wonderful.

Only one more day until we got the lab tests back and then we would know...

Flashback – Alexi – At 'home'

This was becoming a routine: We were all in the car 'mother', 'father', myself and Chow Mein (locked in a pet cage located behind the back seat of our hatch back Lada). We were traveling to yet another pet psychologist. 'Mother' fired the last one when he made the mistake of saying that the problem wasn't with Chow Mein, it was with the family, specifically my 'parents' and especially my 'mother'.

I brought a little catnip mouse that Chow Mein loved to play with, had tied it to a string and taunted her by pulling it past the outside her cage. She would thrash around and try to get the mouse which of course she couldn't reach. She finally got frustrated and did an incredibly surprising thing! So I quickly hid the mouse and string in my pocket while 'Mother' asked, "Alexi, did you break wind?"

I complained, "'Mother'! I certainly did not. I think Chow Mein got sick in her cage."

'Mother' screeched, "'Father' pull the car to the side of the road immediately!"

'Father' complied. 'Mother' jumped out of the car immediately after it stopped moving, ran to the back of the car, opened the hatch looked in the cage and began to cry, "My wonderful baby girl Chow Mein, what is wrong with you? You have soiled your cage and yourself."

'Mother' took the cage out of the car, sat it on the ground, bent down and peered into the cage.

Chow Mein began to yowl as I came to the back of the car. When I showed her the mouse from my pocket, she yowled even louder and thrashed around in the cage. 'Mother' turned and almost caught me with the mouse, saw me and demanded, "Alexi why did Chow Mein become angrier when she saw you?"

I presented my best lie and initiated travel to my next goal, "'Mother', perhaps Chow Mien has gone crazy because she is jealous of me. If it would help, I would gladly go back and live at the laboratory."

'Father' had joined the fray with everyone looking at Chow Mein in her cage and said, "Alexi that is crazy, now that you're home we are never letting you go back to living at the laboratory."

'Mother' looked at 'father' and questioned, "Husband are you sure?"

I interrupted, "Really, I seem to be causing problems so I would be glad to be back living at the laboratory."

'Mother' looked at 'father' and said, "See husband, I told you he wouldn't mind."

I added one condition, "The only problem I had staying at the laboratory was that it got very boring at night because there was nothing to do. If I did go back to living there it would be nice if we could go out for dinner or a movie twice a week."