Chapter 18

Flashback – Ben and Jack – preparing to leave for Ramadi

Well, we were between the proverbial rock and a hard place. Captain fucking M pulled a fast one with the MRI technicians to hide the injury to Jack's back (Jack was sure his back was fucked) and if Jack's injury was exposed he would most likely receive a medical discharge which wouldn't give him enough money to provide for himself and Masha.

I unstrapped Jack and began to help him off the gurney as Captain M said, "I'm going to go and arrange for our transportation to Ramadi. You two make sure you're ready when I get back."

I requested, "Captain, permission to get some medical supplies for my combat medical kit."

He glared at me and demanded, "You aren't a fucking medic so what the hell do you need to get?"

I smiled at him and lied, "I wanted to requisition more suture kits because you never know when you're going to get cut."

Jack added a huge amount of bullshit that I wasn't sure the Captain would swallow, "Yeah, Banzai does a damn fine job stitching people up. Hell, he took damn good care of the Spetsnaz troops in Russia when they played mumbley-peg."

I was surprised as hell when the Captain answered, "I think I remember hearing something about that. Yeah, go for it but don't take too long."

The Captain left, Jack looked at me and bragged...

I smiled at Banzai and bragged, "Baffled his ass with bullshit!"

Banzai scolded, "Hell Jack, I didn't think he would go for that lie."

Jack gave me a self-satisfied smile, blew on his fist, wiped it on his chest and stated, "That's because my boy, you didn't know that was one of the stories I told the Marines about our time in Russia. I knew it would get back to the fucking Captain. So what the hell are you really doing?"

Banzai looked at me in wonder and answered, "I'm going to trade my Pappy Van Winkle for some pain pills to take care of your back."

I asked, "Are you sure you can make that trade?"

Banzai grinned at me and said, "Hell yes I am! It's hard as hell to get Pappy Van Winkle in the states so over here it will be like gold to anyone who knows bourbon."

I was sad to see such great bourbon go, but was thankful Banzai was going to use it to help me...

Flashback – Captain M – arranging transportation to Ramadi

I had made it back to the MRI suite just in the nick of time. The MRI technician was about to bump Sgt. Reynolds' MRI up to the radiologist because the old fart had herniated disks in his lower back. If that happened they would have given the old fart medical discharge, the fucking boney bitch would have reported it to the Old Man and I would have been blamed for it and sent back to fucking Thule.

I knew I should have ordered one of the Sgts. to arrange for the travel to Ramadi, but I wanted to get the hell out of the hospital sooner rather than later and I figured either one of the Sgts. would do something to fuck up the travel plans. Yeah, sometimes if you wanted things done right, even if you are an officer, you did it your fucking self.

I walked into the travel office, noticed they were busy as hell but being the only officer in the room, I walked up to the head of the line, looked down at the Sgt. sitting at the desk and ordered, "Is that how you greet an officer? Two Sgts. and I need to get immediate transportation to Ramadi."

He jumped to his feet, stood at attention, saluted and apologized, "Sorry Sir! We don't get many officers in here."

I looked at his name and played my trump card, "Sgt. Thompson, I was talking with Colonel Jones earlier today and I think he might be interested to know how I've been treated."

I could see the beads of sweat begin to form on his forehead while I continued, "However, if you get me transportation in the next few hours, I will be gone and can't have that conversation with him."

Sgt. Thompson requested, "Sir, might I sit down to find you transportation to Ramadi?"

I gave him permission, he sat down and began to search through his schedules like his life depended on it - which it practically did.

He had a pained look on his face when he looked up at me and said, "Sir, because of the action in Ramadi, the only thing we have headed there for the next three days are supply convoys. If I pulled some strings I could get you and the two Sgts. transported in an additional Humvee as a support vehicle."

I couldn't believe they didn't have any choppers headed toward Ramadi so I countered, "Sgt. Thompson are you sure there are no choppers headed to Ramadi?"

He looked exasperated and answered, "Sir, the only choppers coming in and out of Ramadi would be medical evac choppers and unfortunately they are not coordinated through this office. You would need to talk to Colonel Jones to catch a flight on one of them."

I knew I had tapped this REMF for all I could and after my last talk with Colonel Jones I sure as hell didn't want to talk to him again. I smiled at Sgt. Thompson and replied, "The extra Humvee will work as long as it's armored and we have your best driver."

He began to scramble and answered, "Yes Sir! You need to be at the motor pool at 1600. You will have our best driver, do you need a gunner?"

I remembered how well Sgt. Blaine did in the ambulance and said, "No, one of the Sgts. is a hell of a gunner, just make sure he has a Ma Deuce and as much ammo as we can carry." Then I remembered and continued, " ... don't forget the fucking hearing protectors for him."

Sgt. Thompson practically stumbled over himself and replied, "Yes Sir! I will make sure all of you have hearing protectors."

I thought for a moment about asking Sgt. Thompson why we would all need hearing protectors, but dismissed it and headed back to the two Sgts...

Flashback – Jack and Ben – preparing to leave for Ramadi

Banzai left with the three (that's right three) bottles of Pappy Van Winkle out of his foot locker concealed in a plastic bag. I was pissed as hell about the Captain fucking things up like this. I began to move and grimaced some so the other Marines from the flight who were still waiting for their MRIs asked, "Jack what the hell is wrong with you ... you still look like you're in pain ... what the fuck are they going to do for you?"

I put on a sorry assed face and answered, "I sure as hell hope none of you experience what I've experienced. Somehow Captain fucking M talked the MRI technician into changing my results. Yeah, my back is seriously fucked up but the MRI technician released me back into full duty."

One of the Marines asked, "Do you want me to kill the fuckers for you?"

I briefly considered it ... If Captain fucking M was gone and the MRI technician was gone things would ... No, then I would get a medical discharge and Masha and I would be totally fucked.

I said (with just a little deception), "Thanks guys for the support, but remember my Russian wife Masha that I told all of you about? Well, if the old man knew about my back, then he would force me into a medical discharge and if that happened I wouldn't have enough money to support the two and soon to be three of us. No, with Banzai's help I'm going to suck this up because pain is fear leaving the body."

That elicited a chorus of Hoooorahhhsss from the Marines.

Banzai returned and had a hell of a big plastic bag with him...

I was shocked at the trade I made for the three bottles of Pappy Van Winkle! Hell, if I had known what it was worth in this fucking country I would have brought a whole damn suitcase full of Pappy! Jack and I could have walked out of here owning the whole damn country!

Jack saw me and quietly asked, "It looks like you had some luck?"

I smiled at him and said, "Fuck yeah, you aren't going to have to worry about medicine for your back while we're here."

Then I laughed and continued, "Hell Jack, they got in a bidding war for the Pappy."

He laughed and said, "Well how about giving me something now because I feel like shit."

I reached into the bag, pulled out an OxyContin and a muscle relaxer, handed them to him and cautioned, "These might kick your ass."