Chapter 127

Another two weeks later –Ben, Jens, Mira and Ira – At the cabin

Well, the day has finally come and it’s time for us to leave on our mission. My Farsi is practically perfect; Jens’ Russian has no American accent; Destiny has honed our martial arts skills (including those of Mira and Ira) to a keen edge; and Jens has learned to act her place as a wife. The most unfortunate part of leaving is that Destiny won’t be coming with us. We all practically begged her to come (Mira and Ira even tried to bribe her to come) but Destiny said ‘These are your battles to fight.’

I pull Thom to the side before we leave to say, “Thom, we’re leaving for an extended time. As head of security and construction on the cabin, keep up the good work.”

Thom asks, “I gather you don’t want me to know where you’re going or what your plans are?”

I smile at him and reply, “The fewer who know the better, so I’m not telling you. I will have my phone and it will work internationally and before you even try Gretchen says that you can’t trace it.”

Yeah I forgot to mention, Gretchen found us some great phones! They are Blackberry DTEK50s¹. Jens loves hers and went on about how blackberry hardened this and that and how secure they were. I didn’t care since it ran Android and also my two apps, Strelok+ and Shooter just fine.

¹ http://android.wonderhowto.com/news/pros-cons-blackberrys-new-most-secure-phone-ever-0172487/

Thom says, “Well take care of yourself and we are projecting the cabin to be finished in one more week.”

I congratulate him, “Thanks to you Thom. When we get back we will have a sit down and let you know where we were and what we did.”

Thom asks, “Should I run the Cobra and your new truck every week or so?”

I think for a moment and reply, “Thom, we’re not sure how long this will take so please run both the vehicles weekly. If we’re gone more than six months, get the oil and filters changed on both the Cobra and my new truck. Don’t forget we use Mobil 1 synthetic oil.”

That reminds me, the phone call I got at the end of the last chapter was the body shop. Jens’ Cobra was done, the name on the door was changed to her name and they did an excellent graphic on the trunk of the ready to strike Cobra. Ah and my truck? Unfortunately my old truck wasn’t repairable, but I still couldn’t stand to part with her so I had her hauled into the garage. I am now the owner of a new Dodge Ram 3500 with the Cummins diesel engine. It’s a good truck, but it’s not like my old girl! I had to settle for a fucking automatic transmission on this one plus it cost a small fortune.

Jens arrives with her suitcase, her carry on and says...

Ben’s talking to Thom who has been great help in getting the cabin finished. I come up and remind Ben, “Honey, we need to leave for the airport.”

Thom offers, “I could probably take all of you in the Crown Vic if you don’t have too much luggage.”

Ben offers, “Thom, we might have too much luggage for your car, why don’t we take my truck?”

Thom suggests, “Ben, I know you’re still breaking your truck in, so how about we take one of the vans instead.”

I prod Thom, “You know, if you brought Inga along with you, then you two could stop at a restaurant before coming back to the cabin.”

Thom shoots down my idea by saying, “Sorry but only one of us can leave at a time.”

Mira and Ira arrive with their suitcases, I look at Ben and ask, “Where’s your luggage?”

Ben says, “I need to go get them from our room.”

Ben leaves and I ask Thom, “Soooo are you and Inga going to share a room when the cabin is done?”

Thom smiles at me and says, “Not if I have my way about it.”

That was what I figured. While Inga was back because the restaurant closed and worked on our security team, Thom still hadn’t really been treating her any better.

I complain, “Thom, if Inga leaves again...”

Thom interrupts, “ ... Jennifer, Inga and I have come to an agreement and she’s not going to leave.”

Ben arrives with his suitcase with carry on and Thom looks at the luggage and remarks, “If you all are going on such a long trip, won’t you need more clothes.”

Mira interjects...

Thom has taken far too much interest in our trip which must remain covert. I reply to his question with our typical response, “Thom because of airline restrictions, we are taking the bare minimum of clothing. If we need additional or newer accoutrements, we will purchase them on the trip.”

Ms. Blaine confirms my cover story, “Mira’s correct Thom, there’s no way we can bring all the clothing that we will need.”

Thom asks another annoying question, “Don’t tell me you and Mira are leaving your Katanas.”

Ira replies...

I can sense my sister Mira is annoyed with Thom’s questions so I quickly reply to Thom’s question, “Thom you know that we cannot bring the Katanas onto the flight with us. They are in our checked luggage.”

Inga arrives in one of the vans, Thom acquires the driver’s seat, the rest of us climb into the van, close the doors and we leave.

I decide to become annoying so I query Thom, “Thom, when are you and Inga planning on cohabitating?”

Thom mutters something about hell freezing over and Ms. Blaine counters, “Thom we all know better than that. I bet it happens while we’re on our mission.”

Mira also annoys Thom with an old joke we had learned, “I think that Thom is so old he can no longer get it up.”

Thom swears, “That’s a fucking lie and I wish you all had never learned that term.”

Mr. Blaine is uncommonly quiet so I lean over and whisper, “Mr. Blaine you seem preoccupied.”

Mr. Blaine looks and me and replies, “Sorry Ira, I was meditating on our mission; trying to see if we would encounter any unforeseen circumstances.”

I was certain that situations would arise, but nothing that the four of us could not terminate to our advantage.

We arrive at Denver International Airport and Thom asks, “Which airline are you taking.”

Mr. Blaine informs him, “Thom we’re taking United.”

Thom follows the signs, pulls up to the terminal, we exit the van and Mr. Blaine says, “Thanks Thom, we will let you know through Gretchen when we’re coming back.”

We walk into the terminal and Mr. Blaine orders...

I see the restrooms point and say, “Okay, it’s time to change our clothes.”

Yeah, we had been wearing ‘normal’ travel clothing and that had to be fixed because of our destination. The girls went into the women’s restroom while I went into mine, found an empty stall and began to change. This was going to be one of my least favorite things to endure on the trip. I put my ‘normal’ travel clothes into my carry-on bag, came out of the stall and hated the looks that the other passengers gave me. But it was going to be worse later.

I exited the men’s room and Mira ordered, “Mr. Blaine, come with me into the family restroom so I can apply the rest of your costume.”

I followed her into the family bathroom. Mira did an excellent job applying the rest of my costume. As we exited the bathroom, I heard Jens giggle a little. I berate her, “Jens cut it out or you will stay here.”

I walk toward the ticket counter and the girls follow respectfully behind me. I swear I could feel the eyes of the other passengers burning with hatred for me. I walk up to the ticket counter, hand them my itinerary and diplomatic passport, put my checked bag onto the scale and the claims attendant asks, “Are the three behind you traveling with you today.”

I reply with my best Farsi accent, “Yes they are my wives.”

To her credit, she didn’t even give me a dirty look however she does ask, “I see you’ve reserved the entire center aisle of all four seats.”

I reply, “That is correct, we must sit together.”

She hands me my boarding pass and offers, “If your wives approach I will give them their boarding passes.”

Jens says with a damn good Russian accent, “Sorry Ms. we cannot approach our husband. We will come to the ticket counter after he leaves.”

I leave and wait while Jens, Mira and Ira go to the ticket counter. The ticket agent hands them their boarding passes and they walk to where I am waiting.

I lead the way to the security checkpoint. If we’re going to have a problem, it will be there.

But because of our diplomatic passports, we walk right through security and toward the gate for the flight. We find four unused, adjoining seats and take them.

People intentionally avoid us, other than a few children who point at us until their parents scold them. I hate like hell to be wearing the clothes I’m wearing and look the way I look but it is a necessary evil which I must get accustomed to.

Finally the boarding call is announced for our flight and we move to the line for people needing extra time to board.

Because I show the ticket agent my diplomatic passport, she nods her head and doesn’t challenge me. We board the airplane first, even before the women with children or the disabled people. We store our carry-on bags in the console above us and take our seats, with Jens being the closest to me.

She leans over and whispers, “Ben, I can’t believe they let us through security looking like this, it’s a joke.”

Ira pulls Jens, headscarf and scolds her in Farsi which Jens doesn’t understand but she does shut the hell up.

Jens fixes her headscarf, I close my eyes and begin to meditate then I hear Mira complain loudly in Farsi. I open my eyes and some man had bumped into her. I jumped up and yelled at him with my Farsi accent, “Do not touch one of my wives again you infidel!”

The flight attendants come over and one of them suggests, “Sir perhaps you would be more comfortable in first class?”

I counter with my accent, “No, I decry the decadence of first class and will not have my family subjected to it. What we do require is that the infidel men on this flight not touch my wives.”

The flight attendant nicely asks, “Please sir take your seat.”

I sit down but not before giving the man that bumped into Mira a dirty look.

The fasten seatbelt sign comes on, we fasten our seatbelts, the pilot comes on the PA and announces, “Good day ladies and gentlemen, I am your pilot Hank. We are lucky today to have some very special guests traveling with us, they are Valentin Sedankina and his three wives Dasha, Miranda and Irina. Valentin is a dignitary from Kazakhstan so please afford them every courtesy possible.”