Chapter 125

Two weeks later – Jens, Ben, Mira and Ira – At the cabin

I have been diligently studying both my Russian with Ben (he’s such and excellent teacher) and Muay Thai with Destiny. They have both been brutal with me. I finish my latest Muay Thai training session with Destiny and she announces, “Jennifer, the time has arrived for you to challenge Mira and Ira.”

I jump up and down in excitement and ask, “Destiny are you sure?”

Destiny smiles at me and says, “Yes Jennifer, your progress has been exceptional and shows that you have spent many extra hours practicing between our lessons.”

Destiny didn’t know the half of it! All I had been doing (well other than performing my wifely duties toward Ben) was practicing Muay Thai along with the other martial arts Destiny was teaching me and perfecting my Russian. The Russian practice was much more fun because Ben and I did ‘special’ things when I was a good student - and I was a very good student.

I find Mira and Ira engaged in their reading time and interrupt, “Destiny says that I can now kick both your rears.”

OMG, I almost forgot! Ben did talk Destiny into sparring with Mira and Ira and she promptly kicked both their rears at the same time. It was great because she used so many different martial arts on them they had no idea what she was doing.

Mira looks up from her book and starts, “Ms. Blaine, we will be happy to defeat you in martial arts competition...”

Ira completes the sentence, “ ... after our allotted reading time expires.”

I began to taunt by clucking like a chicken, “Bwack, bwack! Mira and Ira are afraid of me.”

Ira angrily states, “Ms. Blaine, do not precipitate such falsehoods,”

I continue to taunt, “Wait, didn’t Destiny defeat both of you simultaneously?”

Mira counters, “Ms. Blaine, Destiny was fortunate that we didn’t join forces against her.”

Destiny (who always seems to be in the right place at the right time) walks into the room, hears Mira’s comment and offers, “I would be willing to accept that challenge. However, I will still win.”

Ira counters, “Pride comes before a declination.”

Destiny laughs that unusual musical laugh of hers and says, “Knowing a fact is not pride. I know I will conquer both of you again because I know how you fight.”

Mira states, “Destiny, you do not know how we fight together as we are synergistic when we conjoin our individual abilities.”

Destiny yawns and affirms, “It will not matter because your technique is too structured, just like your lives.”

Ira places her book on the table and counters, “Our lives are structured so we do not waste time, unlike you wastrels of time whose life is totally random.”

I help Destiny out, “Destiny had no problem coming here at the same time each day to teach me.”

Mira says, “My sister, perhaps it is time we teach both Ms. Blaine and Destiny a martial arts lesson.”

Ira agrees, “Yes Mira, you are correct.”

Destiny says, “First challenge Jennifer. When she beats each of you I will beat both of you as you simultaneously challenge me.”

I clap my hands and announce, “I can’t wait for a maniped! Perhaps I will have one of you do my manicure while the other does my pedicure.”

Mira states, “Ms. Blaine, we will change into our GIs and meet you in the gymnasium in twenty minutes.”

Destiny and I head back to the gym and Destiny gives me some valuable advice, “Jennifer, do not be intimidated by the twins. While they have excellent martial art abilities, they have a serious weakness which I mentioned while they were reading. Their technique, like their life, is too structured. Until they acknowledge this weakness they are vulnerable because their attacks are always the same. Make your attacks random and rotate randomly through the martial arts I have taught you and you will be victorious.”

Ben comes into the gym, smiles at me and says...

I have had a busy two weeks: My Farsi lessons are almost complete plus Destiny has me busy working on the Spiritual aspect of my life. I’m in meditation and sense that Jens is going to spar with the twins, so I wander into the gym, smile at Jens and ask, “So, today is finally the day?”

Jens hops up and down like a child and replies, “That’s right, it’s going to be so good to finally kick their rears.”

I walk over, hug my wife and remark, “Jens, I’m so proud of how hard you’ve worked, not just on marital arts but also on your Russian.”

Jens kisses me (it’s one of those kisses that’s full of promise for later) as the twins walk into the gym and Mira complains, “Ms. Blaine, we are here to evaluate your marital arts abilities not to observe you playing hockey of tonsil with Mr. Blaine.”

Jens grins at them and replies, “Why should I not play since this was my allotted time to kiss my husband.”

Ira counters, “Ms. Blaine I consider that there is too much time allotted for that task.”

Jens kisses me again and giggles, “No fricken way! There’s never enough time to kiss my Ben.”

I swat Jens’ butt and say, “Go kick both their asses.”

Mira counters, “Mr. Blaine such an event is not likely to occur.”

I grin at Mira and challenge, “When Jens is done mopping the mat with the two of you, I will fight both of you at the same time.”

Ira remarks, “I would enjoy that Mr. Blaine since we still have not seen your ‘mystery’ martial art that you learned from Destiny.”

Jens and Mira approach each other in the center of the mat. They bow respectfully and Mira immediately launches into an attack which Jens easily counters.

Destiny comments, “Ben, the twins do not stand a chance - I told Jennifer of their weakness.”

I smile at Destiny and reply, “I noticed that Jens was ready for the fast attack from Mira.”

Destiny laughs her unique laugh and says, “Yes, Mira always tries that trick. Last time that was how she beat Jennifer.”

With the opening volley of Mira’s attack blocked, she falls back to her next routine. Jens is waiting for her, takes her down hard and delivers some pulled punches. Mira kips up and remarks, “Ms. Blaine, your skills have greatly increased.”

Jens brags, “You bet they have and now I’m going to end this sparring match.”

Jens goes on the offensive where she’s practically a blur of pulled fists, elbows and knees catching Mira totally off guard. Mira wisely submits, “Ms. Blaine, if this was genuine combat you would have defeated me.”

Jens looks at me and I motion her over. She comes to me, I hug her and say, “Honey, I’m proud of you! That was excellent.”

Jens smiles and whispers, “Ben that was so easy. Once Destiny told me their secret I think I could beat them both at once.”

I caution, “Jens they fight differently as a team so first watch me fight them before you issue that challenge.”

Destiny confirms, “Yes Jennifer, Ben is correct. Watch their fighting technique when they fight together, it will be exactly the same when you issue the challenge.”

Ira announces, “Ms. Blaine, your performance was admirable, however you have yet to defeat me.”

They meet in the middle of the mat and bow. Unlike Mira but just as she had in their previous match, Ira doesn’t initiate an attack. Instead she steps back and waits for Jens to attack.

Jens smiles and fakes an attack. Ira responds to the fake attack and then Jens easily goes in for the kill. She flings Ira across the mat like a child throwing a doll. Ira lands on her back, jumps up and attacks Jens who was waiting for it and finishes Ira. Ira submits, “Ms. Blaine, I cannot believe that you defeated me.”

Jens jumps up and down, runs around the mat and whoops, “I finally did it!” She comes over, hugs Destiny and says, “Thank you so much for teaching me so well and for the advice.”

Mira asks...

I did not like the fact that Ms. Blaine defeated both of us. From what she said to Destiny I realize there is a secret they share so I inquire, “Ms. Blaine what is this advice to which you allude?”

Ms. Blaine waffles and obviously lies, “Sorry Mira, I’m not sure what you mean.”

Destiny announces, “Mira and Ira, it was what I told you earlier. Once your technique is revealed by observation, it never varies. Jennifer knew what you were going to do before you even did it.”

I incredulously demand, “Are you saying Ms. Blaine knew I would perform an immediate attack after the opening bow?”

Ms. Blaine says, “Yes Mira, I knew it was coming so it wasn’t a surprise. You do that in every fight.”

I retreat and begin a discussion with my sister...

Ira comes over and we begin a discussion.

“My sister Mira, I do believe that Destiny is correct, I do remember that you always try a rapid attack after the opening bow.”

Mira says, “And you my sister always wait for the opponent to attack first.”

I ask, “Mira, perhaps this is a weakness in our combat technique. I always assumed that practicing the same move multiple times leads to the perfection of the moves.”

Destiny, who has very acute auditory units comments, “Yes it leads to the perfection of the moves but the problem is that the combinations you use never vary. So every fight you two engage in is identical.”

I ask, “Destiny, is this how you defeated us simultaneously?”

Destiny laughs and says, “No, I defeated you simultaneously because I am better than both of you.”

Now that we have this new factoid, I look at Mira and suggest, “My sister when we spar with Mr. Blaine we will need to randomize our attacks.”

Mira agrees, “Yes my sister, perhaps we might even regain some of our lost glory.”

I look at Mr. Blaine and ask, “Mr. Blaine, you have not changed into a gi.”

He smiles and replies, “No girls I won’t need to.”

He removes his boots, steps onto the mat, we face each other and bow. This time I perform a rapid attack instead of Mira. Mr. Blaine however is not surprised as he uses a very effective arm bar on me and forces me to the mat where I have to submit before he breaks my arm. I warn Mira, “Mr. Blaine’s ‘mystery’ martial art is Aikido.”

Mira pauses and waits for an opening however one never comes. Finally Mr. Blaine falls back to Capoeira and Mira is easily defeated.

I approach Destiny and inquire, “Sensei, would you be willing to instruct both of us?”

Mira approaches and adds, “Yes sensei, we would benefit from your instruction.”

Destiny laughs and says, “Girls, I am no sensei. However I will gladly instruct both of you.”

We both bow respectfully and I say, “Thank you Destiny. It is obvious we could both use further instruction.

Ms. Blaine interrupts, “Okay girls I’m ready for a maniped, which one of you starts first?”

Mira relents, “Ms. Blaine, since you defeated me first I will give you a maniped.”

Mr. Blaine’s new phone rings...

Two weeks later –Liz, Bernie and Desiree – At the cabin

Hell, I never knew that being a mother was so much fun or I would have ... Wait that’s not right I couldn’t be a mother until Jens used her ‘magic’ to fix me and I’ve totally neglected to thank her for this.