Chapter 121

Present – Ben, Thom and Mira – At the hospital parking lot

Thom laughs at my comment about how both Mira and Ira bother me with their insistence on being with me at all times. Then he teases, “I’m surprised at the change in Mira, I thought that she wanted to have your baby.”

I glare at Thom and answer, “She scared the hell out of me! I thought she might be pregnant with my baby but I had no idea how it could have happened. I’m so thankful that the DNA test put that mess to rest.”

Thom asks, “But you never did the deed with her?”

I gave him my nastiest look and answer, “No fucking way, Thom! In addition I’m sterile from when I was held captive by the fucking towelheads. But Mira thought she had found some of my semen and had in-vitro fertilization done with it. It really ended up being the semen from the bastard who ran the fertility clinic...”

I can tell this is a touchy subject for Ben by his looks at me and figure I’d better back off before he kicks my ass. So I comment, “Well it’s too bad that you and Jennifer can’t have kids.”

Ben shakes his head, looks down and agrees, “Yeah, Jens has always wanted children. My sterility was the reason I fought marrying her for so long.”

Thom asks, “Well, what finally convinced you to marry her?”

I confess, “Thom, I’ve loved the hell out of her for years. It was Destiny who finally convinced me to marry Jens.”

Thom scoffs, “Destiny? Why the hell would she do that?”

I smile and reply, “Thom, it’s like I’ve said before, Jens and I have a destiny together and Destiny convinced me of the fact.”

Mira makes it back from the bathroom, sits in the driver’s seat of the Cobra and announces...

I do not want to waste the time we have so I arrive back at the vehicle and inquire “Mr. Blaine are you ready to continue your lesson?”

Mr. Blaine takes the passenger seat and replies, “That would be great - I was getting bored.”

I annunciate some words in Russian, repeat the translations in Farsi and Mr. Blaine repeats the Farsi words.

Thom interrupts, “Part of that sounds like Russian but I don’t recognize the other language.”

I smile at him and explain, “You are correct: The first words were Russian, then I translated them to Farsi.”

Mr. Blaine gives further information, “Mira and Ira are teaching me Farsi. But because of their unique use of the English language, it’s easier for them to use the Russian words and then translate them to Farsi.”

Thom laughs and insults, “Hell, that’s a wise idea since half the time I don’t understand what they say when they attempt to speak English...”

I am slightly miffed so I respond, “Thom, your understandable difficulty is caused of your incorrect use of the English language.”

Mr. Blaine complains, “Mira, we’re wasting time arguing with Thom.”

I instruct, “Thom, please do not interrupt the lesson again.”

However Thom asks Mr. Blaine, “Why are you learning Farsi in the first place?”

I grin evilly at Thom and reply, “Thom, if we told you I would have to kill you...”

Hells Bells! I’m not sure if Mira was teasing or serious about killing me if they told me why Ben is learning Farsi. I figure it’s probably better to drop the subject, at least while Mira is around.

Present –Liz, Jens, Bernie and Ira – At the hospital

After my last contraction, I really wanted to push. That lit a fire under the nurse who ran to find the doctor. Bernie cautions, “Liz, don’t push until the doctor says you can - you know what we learned in the Lamaze class.”

I swore, “Bernie, I’m not so sure that online class was correct, but what I do know is I have a huge desire to push.”

Bernie continues, “Liz you knew that was coming. Remember what the class said, ‘you would want to push before it was actually time to push’.”

I snap at Bernie, “I don’t fucking care and on the next contraction I’m going to push.”

Jens comes over, takes my hand and says...

Liz doesn’t know it, but I also took the same online Lamaze class that they did. I wanted to be as much help as possible to Liz during the delivery. I take Liz’s hand and say, “Liz, Bernie’s right, the class said you would want to push before it was time.”

Liz asks, “And how would you know that?”

I smile at Liz and reply, “Because I took the same online class that you did is why.”

Liz complains, “Why the hell did you do that?”

I smile at her and say, “So I could help you of course. Now don’t you dare try to push until the doctor says it’s okay.”

Liz grimaces as the next contraction starts. I know I need to do something so I begin an incantation that should take away the urge for her to push. Liz finishes the contraction and says, “Well that one was certainly different since I didn’t have any urge to push at all.”

The nurse comes back with the doctor. The doctor puts Liz’s feet into the stirrups on the table and begins to check her then he announces, “Elizabeth, things are progressing well with your labor but it’s not time to push yet.”

Liz whines, “Doctor when will I be able to push?”

The doctor smiles and says, “It will probably be another hour before you can begin to push.”

Liz swears, “Son of a bitch! I’m not sure I can wait that long.”

I smile at Liz and try to comfort her, “Liz, don’t worry, an hour is nothing compared to the nine months you’ve carried the baby.”

I’m thankful the incantation to stop the urge to push works...

I have been observing Ms. Blaine and have noticed her actions. While she isn’t doing anything to decrease the pain, she did appear to do something to remove the urge of Liz Morgan’s to push. I walk beside Ms. Blaine and whisper in her ear, “Ms. Blaine are you preventing the urge to push?”

Ms. Blaine directs her cranial carapace toward me, smiles and whispers, “Yes Ira, while I cannot remove Liz’s pain or it would interfere with the birth, I can temporarily remove the urge to push.”

I return to my location adjacent to the door and marvel that my sister and I were so lucky to have a friend like Ms. Blaine. She is not like Baba Yaga¹ at all...