Chapter 5: The Storm

June 1977

I woke up with the Sun, as usual, heading off to the bathroom to shower. I was missing Birgit already, so I put on the jeans and shirt she had given me. A bit much for a Saturday, but it helped me feel closer to her. I’d hate it when they eventually wore out or didn’t fit. I finished dressing and went downstairs to breakfast - Rice Krispies with sugar.

My dad and brother were heading to Kentucky to see a model train show. Mom was dropping my sister at a friend’s house where she was spending the night, and then heading over to my grandmother’s house like she did most Saturdays. Nobody would be home until dinner. Larry would come over around 10:00am, as it turned out his lesson was at 8:00am. He was the one person my mom would allow in the house when she and my dad weren’t home. It was shaping up to be an OK day, despite being melancholy.

A boom of thunder gave lie to the ‘OK’ part - at least with regard to weather.

“Thunderstorms all day today,” Dad said as he grabbed his coffee and half a grapefruit.

“I wasn’t going out. Larry is coming over and we’ll play pool and chess. The tournament is next week.”

“Have fun,” he said as he sat down to eat.

Mom came in with Stephanie and kissed Dad. She stopped and said, “Why are you dressed up?”

“Larry is coming over and I just felt like wearing the stuff Birgit gave me.”

“Well, you know the rules.”

“Yeah Mom, I know, I know.”

She gave me a hard look and then she and Stephanie headed out the door.

Dad finished breakfast and went to wake up Jeff who never got out of bed until dragged. I heard Dad pounding on the door saying he was leaving in ten minutes. Jeff came down with two minutes to spare, dressed to go. He went to the kitchen and grabbed some Pop-Tarts. The toaster dinged as dad opened the door to leave. Jeff grabbed his breakfast and ran out.

“Bye, Steve.”

At least Dad said goodbye to me.

“See you tonight” I replied.

There wasn’t much to do now until Larry arrived. I got out the chessboard, grabbed my books, and sat down to memorize possible black responses to the Queen’s Gambit opening which was all the rage with the Chess club. It seemed everyone was playing some variation of it this year. Today I was studying Alekhine’s Variation. Thunder and lightning preceded heavy rain and howling wind. A typical Ohio Thunderstorm, though 8:00am was a little early in the day. I had on WLW 700 radio for the weather. Usually, I only ever listened to the Reds on WLW, but they had regular weather reports. It was going to storm on and off all day. I flipped over to Q102.

Around 9:00am I put my book down and got up to get some juice. I noticed that the rain had slackened and there was actually a bit of sun. I was standing in the kitchen when the phone rang. It was Larry.

“Hey, I can’t make it today. Mom and Dad are heading to my grandfather’s house and I have to go with them. You could come if you wanted to.”

He’d invited me before, but I had never taken him up on it.

“You know I can’t because I can’t ask my parents’ permission. I’d get in real trouble. I’ll just hang out here. I’m not really in a mood to hang out with anyone.”

He only said one word. A statement. Not a question. “Birgit.”

“Yeah. Birgit. I miss her already.”

“I knew you couldn’t go, but Mom told me to ask. I’m sorry for changing things at the last minute, but my grandfather insisted. Keep the faith about Birgit, things will work out.”

We said goodbye and he hung up.

So much for the way my day was shaping up. I needed a break from the chess book so I went downstairs and practiced pool shots. I was getting pretty good and hadn’t lost to any of my friends in months. Granted, I was the only one with a pool table, but I actually was pretty good. I practiced for about an hour and went back upstairs.

It was raining again, but not too hard. I decided to go next door and see if Kim was around. I didn’t think my parents would find out, and worst case, we’d play some pool and then watch the Reds game on Channel 5, since they were out of town. I ran next door and rang the bell. Kim’s mom came to the door.

“She’s not here - she’s gone to her friend Jamie’s house.”

“Thanks anyway Mrs. Smith,” I said and headed home.

I got back inside, sat down at the kitchen table, and started reading about the Slav Defense to the Queen’s Gambit when almost simultaneously there was a loud thunderclap and the doorbell rang. I wondered who it could be. Larry was with his parents. Kim was at her friend’s house.

That meant it would probably be Jehovah’s Witnesses or Mormons. They usually came around this time of year. I walked to the front of the house and looked out the window. There was a car I didn’t recognize in the driveway. That meant it wasn’t Mormons or JWs - they walked. I looked through the peephole and almost had a heart attack.

My pulse was racing and my heart was pounding as I opened the door. There, in faded blue jeans and a blue fuzzy sweater was my Swedish friend, Birgit.

“Hi,” she said shyly.

Then she turned and waved to the car, which backed out of the driveway while I gaped. I just stood there. I had no idea what to say.

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

I stepped back and she walked into the house. I shut the door. I just stood and stared. Finally, I got enough of my wits together.

“What are you doing here?”

“I had to see you one more time. I couldn’t leave without seeing you. I asked my host mom to drive me, because Melanie can’t drive yet.”

I was still in shock.

“How did you know I’d be here?”

“Larry. You were getting together with him this morning. You said so in the car last night. On the way home, he got out to say goodbye and I asked him to not come over so I could.”

Which explained Larry’s last-minute change. Had he called me last night, I might have found something else to do. I owed him. Just being with her for a few hours would be worth anything he asked for!

“Are we just going to stand here?” she asked with a smile.

“Sorry,” I said, still flustered. “I’m just surprised to see you. Come on.”

I led her into the family room.

I sat in my dad’s recliner. I didn’t want her to get the wrong idea or be uncomfortable. I didn’t want to get my hopes up. After all, she was leaving in two days. She sat on the couch and just looked at me. I didn’t know what to say. I’d be happy just to sit and look at her for a few hours.

That made me think to ask, “How long are you staying?”

“Melanie and her mom will be back around 4:30pm. Larry told me your parents would be home around 5:00pm or so.”

I wondered what she had in mind.

“Would you like something to drink?” I asked.

“Sure, just a glass of water.”

I got up, went to the kitchen, and got her some water, dropping in a few ice cubes. I got some OJ for myself.

As I walked back into the family room, the storm picked up again. The windows were shaking from the thunder. She took the glass from my hand and sipped.

“Thanks.”

“Sure.”

I went back to sit in the recliner. I turned up the volume on the radio. I figured a bit of music couldn’t hurt. Imagine my surprise when the first song that was played was ABBA.

Birgit laughed and said “ABBA. Perfect!”

I smiled at her. She smiled back.

But Knowing Me, Knowing You was a break-up song. I guess it might fit. We weren’t breaking up because we were never together, but she was leaving.

“You know I’m leaving on Monday morning. And I had to ask you something.”

“Sure. Anything.”

“You remember three weeks ago when I called you after my going away party? And asked you who she was?”

“Yeah, but you know I can’t tell you. I shouldn’t even have admitted that it actually happened, but I couldn’t lie to you.”

“I know. But I was wondering what happened. How it happened. You never talked about any girls. You never said anything to me.”

I considered what I should say. Should I even say anything? Even though she was leaving on Monday, I had to be careful. Even a hint could ruin everything.

“It wasn’t something I planned. Someone I’ve known for a bit, but doesn’t go to our school, wanted to do it with me. I’m a guy. What was I going to say? ‘No’?”

I laughed nervously.

She smiled, “No, I wouldn’t expect you to. And I still think it’s funny that the ‘easy’ Swedish girl is a virgin and you aren’t. Would you tell me what you did? I’m curious.”

Dangerous territory. And I didn’t get why she was asking.

“We did all the usual stuff,” I said evenly. “I saw her a couple of times, but I think it’s over. It wasn’t going to work out as a long-term relationship. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I wasn’t in love with her, but I did have strong feelings. In the end, I was sad, but I guess she was right.”

Leave it to Birgit to guess right again - “An older woman. Doesn’t go to our school. I bet she doesn’t go to any High School. College girl? Much older?”

Now I was deep in it.

“Birgit, please,” I pleaded, but I wasn’t convincing.

She was going to get me to spill more than I should. But I couldn’t resist.

“She’s 24,” I said. “Someone I first met a few years ago, but she didn’t really know that because of the circumstances. A month ago we met and I was wearing these clothes. She thought I was older and...”

Birgit interrupted, “You do look like you’re seventeen or eighteen when you wear those.”

“ ... she arranged for me to be at her place and I guess you would say she seduced me. I told her I was only fourteen and she went through with it anyway. But you can’t tell anyone. We’d both get in trouble and she could get in real trouble.”

“I’m not going to tell anyone. I was just wondering how my friend went from shy and nervous around girls to confident; why he was so happy for two weeks ... and so down for a week after that.”

She noticed! I thought I had kept it hidden. I guess my emotions betrayed me.

“It was your eyes that gave you away,” she continued. “I could see that deep inside you were sad about something. I thought it was that I was going away, but I wasn’t sure. I know from last night how much you’ll miss me, and I was sure then that it wasn’t the same thing. That’s part of why I asked Larry to stay away so I could come here. I wanted to find out what was going on. What you weren’t sharing with me.”

“I couldn’t. What could I say? Anything I said could cause so much hurt for someone who brought me so much pleasure. I wasn’t going to do it. I shouldn’t even be talking about it now. But I trust you not to say anything.”

“Thanks,” she said with a bright smile. “I appreciate it. You trusting me means a lot.”

I didn’t really know what to say, so I just nodded, while she kept her eyes boring on me.

“Was it really that great?”

“Yeah,” I said with a slight smile, “it was. Fortunately she knew exactly what to do and that kept me from making a complete fool of myself or embarrassing myself. It was amazing. I always figured it would be fumbling the back of a car or trying to find a place to hide and rushing through it. Those were the stories I always heard. Instead, it was unhurried, in a nice bed, and with an experienced partner. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.”

She just sat there and looked at me. I couldn’t read her emotions as she could mine, but something was up. I hoped someday I could read girls, but I wasn’t counting on it. My dad, at 60, was fond of saying that nobody yet had ever figured out women. I knew girls were confusing, but I figured that once I got older, I’d figure it out. But now I wasn’t so sure about that. Maybe dad was right.

She finished drinking and put the glass down. The storm had subsided and there was a bit of sun like before.

She got up and said, “Let’s go outside for few minutes, between the rainstorms.”

I got up and we walked out the back door onto the deck. The smell of the woods behind our house was overpowering because of all the rain. But it was relatively calm. We just stood there looking at the trees until she said, “It’s beautiful. I have to go out of Stockholm to find woods like this. I can’t do it every day like you can.”

“Yeah, it is nice,” I said.

We stood there for about five minutes.

“Steve, can I ask you something else?”

“Sure, of course.”

“Do you really think we’ll see each other again?”

“Well, I didn’t think so after yesterday, but then you showed up here today after saying I might be surprised. Well, I sure was. Were you already planning that then?”

“No, but when I got back in the car after saying it, I decided to see if I could make it happen. And I did. Larry was very willing to help. I was worried a bit about his mom, but she was totally cool.”

“You did make it happen. So I guess my answer is ‘yes’ we’ll see each other again. I don’t know where and I don’t know when, but we will. Perhaps I’ll come to Sweden someday.”

“Really?” She smiled again - that killer smile, and with a twinkle in her eye, said, “Maybe I should teach you some Swedish, then.”

“Oh? You taught me «Tack så mycket» and «Var så god» and «Hej» and «Hej då». What do you want me to learn now?”

“Just a phrase”, she said, turning to head back into the house. She sat on the couch and patted the cushion next to her. I sat down, careful not to be too close. She said, “I want you to say this to me: «Skulle du vilja älska med mig?»”

“Uh, I can try. What’s it mean?”

“Learn it first, so you can say it.”

“Fine. One word at a time so I can get it.”

She said the words several times, and eventually, I thought I had the hang of it.

She took my hands. “OK, look me in the eyes and say it.”

I was wondering what the phrase was. I had learned the other phrases without really knowing the words, just the sounds, so I had no reference.

I looked deep into her eyes and repeated carefully, “«Skulle du vilja älska med mig?»”

She held my gaze and said, almost in a whisper, “«Ja, det vill jag».”

I let go of her hands.

“What did I say and what did you say?”

She laughed nervously. “Well, you asked me, very politely, if I would want to make love with you and I said yes, I would.”

My mouth fell open, I was speechless, again. This seemed to be a pattern - girls, no women, had that effect on me. I regained a small amount of composure and whispered, “Are you teasing me again?”

“No, Steve, I mean it. It’s complicated, but I am sure that’s what I want. I was so worried that if something happened it would ruin our friendship. Or that it would be so terrible that we would regret it. But you’ve changed a lot in the last couple of weeks. I think you can handle this now. And I’m pretty sure I can as well.”

“Wait, you didn’t want to have sex with me before, uhm, well, when we were both virgins, but now you do? I don’t get it. And what about Larry? What about the rejection?”

She looked like she was going to cry. I think she thought I was rejecting her, but for the second time that day, I was in shock and wasn’t thinking straight.

“No!” she protested. “I liked you all along, but I was afraid. Larry seemed safer and I thought it would be fun to hang out with him, but I never thought it would lead to anything serious. I was afraid you and I would start something and I’d have to leave and it would be over. I was afraid we’d make a mess and ruin our friendship. I was afraid of not knowing what to do. I guess there goes your image of the sexually liberated Swede with all the skills and answers from birth.”

She smiled briefly at her own words, then the concern returned to her face. “Don’t you want to?”

Did I want to? Was she kidding? I wanted to in the worst way. But here again, I was going to start and end something quickly. Like with Jennie. But different. This one had different possibilities. But she’d be gone on Monday. 4,000 miles away. Letters only. And going to Sweden was a pipe dream, at least for now. I considered what to do, and what would become a pattern in my life, the little head told the big head what to do. And this time the heart was with the little head. I just looked at her, and simply said, “Yes.”

The spell was broken by the insistent ringing of the phone.

I got up to answer. It was Dad - he and Jeff were heading to meet my mom after the train show. They were having dinner at grandma’s and he wanted to be sure I knew so I could make dinner for myself and not wait for them. They would all by home around 9:00pm. He’d call if they were going to be later. I said “no problem” and hung up the phone.

“My dad - they won’t be home until after 8:00pm, at least.”

She got a big smile, grabbed the phone, called Melanie and asked her and her mom not to come at 4:00pm, that they should come at 8:00pm instead, got confirmation, and hung, up the phone. She turned to me and said, “Show me your room.”

I got up, took her hand, and led her upstairs to my room. She hadn’t been here since having girls in my room was a complete non-starter with my mom. Fortunately, I kept my room neat and clean. No clothes on the floor or anything like that. But I had forgotten one thing - right smack in the center of my bed was Mussy Dog.

Mussy Dog was a stuffed animal that had been with me since I was six months old. It had been some kind of premium from a bank my parents used. Birgit looked around the room, saw my pictures of Apollo 11, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin, a Richard Petty stock car model, and one of the battleship Missouri, and my poster of Pete Rose. My prized “Joe Morgan” signature bat from ‘Bat Day’ was standing in a corner.

Of course, she looked at the bed and started giggling, “A stuffed dog? Really?”

Sigh.

“Yeah! I’ve had that forever. I don’t sleep with it, but he does stay on my bed during the day.”

I thought that might have killed the mood.

“That’s cute!”

Even though nobody was home, I shut the door. I then pulled the shade most of the way down. There wasn’t a lot of light since it was still raining, though the occasional flash of lightning would cast an eerie glow into the room. My standing lamp had a dimmer switch, so I put it on about halfway. I was stalling somewhat, even though she had initiated this. I was both sure and unsure. It was my dream come true but I was afraid I’d make a mess of it. That I’d cum too soon. That she wouldn’t like it.

Birth control. I didn’t have any condoms and didn’t know how I could get any since the nearest drug store was a couple of miles away. And even then, I wasn’t sure they’d sell them to me. I figured kids could buy them, but I never had, so I didn’t know for sure. A million things crossed my mind.

I must have had a cloudy look on my face. Birgit stood in front of me, took my hands, and without a word gently kissed me on the lips. Just a short but exhilarating kiss and then she sat on the edge of the bed. I started to say something, but she put her finger to my lips and quietly and somewhat shyly spoke.

“I’ve never done much besides kissing. I did let one boy touch my breasts over my clothes. I’ve seen guys naked, of course, in the sauna, but I’ve never seen an erection. I’ve rubbed myself but nothing has ever been in my «fitta». I’ve been on p-piller, I mean birth control pills, since I was 13. My mom didn’t want me to get pregnant when I started experimenting and didn’t trust boys to be responsible. I’m nervous, but I’m sure I want to do this. Please, will you make love to me?”

How could I resist that? But I was already so excited that I thought the jeans would rip. I was super afraid that I wouldn’t make it good for her. My total experience was two Saturdays with Jennie. And she led me through every step of the way. Now I had to take the lead. With an innocent girl who was counting on me to make it great for her. What if I disappointed her? What if it ended disastrously? A thousand pictures ran through my mind. Many of them bad, but a few of them very, very good. And what to say? She was looking expectantly at me, so I couldn’t delay.

“Birgit...” was all I said.

I took her hands and stood her up. I pulled her into a tight hug. I knew she could feel my erection pressing against her leg. She hugged me tightly. But I could feel her shy away from the lump in my pants. I chalked it up to nervousness and inexperience, but I hoped it wasn’t a sign of reluctance or fear that might change her mind.

If that happened, I would respect what she wanted. I fully understood that ‘no’ means ‘no’. I’d just take it slow and see what happened. We had many hours before she was being picked up, so there was no rush.

I ran my hands over her back, feeling that soft fuzzy sweater material. I was a bit surprised she had worn it on such a warm day, but then I realized with the air conditioning on in the house, it made sense. I was wearing long sleeves as well, come to think of it. She gently pulled back slightly, maintaining just the barest of contact between her small, firm breasts and my chest, and looked up into my face.