Chapter 40: Fade to Black

May-June 1978

I called Bethany on Friday for a brief chat just to see how she was doing. She asked if we could repeat the dinner date Wednesday, after Memorial Day. I told her that was fine. I asked if she wanted to come swimming beforehand and she declined as I expected. I’d ask again in a few weeks.

I called Anna to see how she was doing. She said her sister was willing to drive to get me when their parents were out of town around the end of June, so it looked like that would be the soonest we could see each other.

I talked to Becky, and planned to see her on Sunday. I was pretty sure things were going to come to a head on Sunday, or if not, then the next Sunday. She wanted the commitment. And I couldn’t give it to her. I hoped she would be OK. I would be sad, but her demands were wearing on me. I wished I could give her what she wanted, but I couldn’t. I loved her. She loved me. But it seems that fate, or perhaps her desire to force fate into what she wanted, was against us.

On Saturday, I talked to Andreas about my Summer work schedule. I’d work most days, either morning or afternoon, adjusted for my Summer school schedule. I wasn’t going to Marydale this year because of work. Otherwise, Saturday was normal.

Sunday turned out to be OK. Becky seemed in a good mood. Of course, sex always seemed to improve her mood. We were going to have to solve this soon. The undercurrent of her demands was there the whole time, driven home by our necklaces.

The first week after school ended, I just relaxed. I hung out with Larry, I did my chores and I biked. I had a date with Bethany for dinner that went just like the previous one. We held hands after the meal, and she wasn’t shaking as badly. A good sign.

On Friday, I talked to Joyce and we arranged to have dinner in a couple of weeks. As usual, she would drive to my house. We’d go to dinner and figure out what we wanted to do from there. It was totally casual.

Bethany called me on Friday and invited me to dinner on June 6th. I told her I’d love to come. It looked like I was going to be very busy this Summer.

The most important thing that happened that Friday, though, was that Larry got his driving license. He arrived at my house, in his Mazda at about 6:00. We went for a drive. We had a great time just cruising around Milford and talking. We’d let our relationship suffer a bit lately, and that was mostly my fault. I needed to rekindle this and set to work on it.

Saturday started normally at work. The broom and I spent quality time together, as did I and the table rag and the supply cooler. I made one delivery at lunchtime to the lawyers who ordered fairly regularly. When I got back, I grabbed my lunch and sat down.

I was facing the back of the building when I heard the door open. I turned to see who the customer was and saw Melanie Spencer. She looked great, as usual. She came by my table and asked if she could sit down. I had a mouthful of sandwich and waved her to the chair.

“Want something to eat?” I asked once I had swallowed.

“No.”

“Coke? Water?”

“A Coke.”

I got her one. I figured since she came to talk, she would. So I just kept eating, waiting for her to say her piece. I wasn’t going to make it hard on her. I missed her so much. But I did want an explanation. I felt she owed me one for the silent treatment I had received since Spring Break.

“Steve, I’m sorry. I should have talked to you.”

“Yes, you should have.”

“I broke up with Pete.”

“I figured because he wasn’t with you when I came to meet you for tutoring.”

“It’s been two months.”

No! She didn’t! She didn’t do that! Shit! I meant that as a deterrent not as an offer. I determined then and there that there was no way I was having sex with Melanie today or any time in the near future. It was not happening.

“So?”

“You told me you wouldn’t have sex with me for two months. It’s two months.”

“Melanie Spencer! Did you break up with Pete just so you could have sex with me?”

“I, I, uh, I don’t know.”

“Melanie, when I said that, I didn’t mean that as an offer! I meant it to keep you from doing something stupid. I knew you wanted the three-way with Michelle so badly that you would dump Pete in order to get it. I put that out of reach on purpose. And now, it’s not possible because I’m sure you know Michelle and I ended our sexual relationship.”

“Why wouldn’t you let me?”

“We discussed this. Pete was my friend. I guess he still is, but I haven’t seen him since then. He didn’t like it. I think you bullied him into it like you tried to bully Michelle into some partner swapping. But I had warned her and told her I’d back her up.”

“I know. I hated you for that. Why would you do that to me?”

“Because you were about to hurt Pete in a major way. Oh, he’d have screwed Michelle and probably liked it. She might have liked it. But he would not have liked me screwing you at all. It would have ripped his heart out. Couldn’t you see that?”

“It was just fun.”

“Sex is fun. You and I have had a lot of fun. We had fun with Michelle. But none of us were in love. Pete’s in love with you. He’s not going to accept an open relationship any more than Becky would. Becky and I won’t survive the Summer. We might not even survive the next week.”

“What?”

“She can’t handle the fact that I date other girls and have sex with other girls. She told me she could, remember? Just as Jennifer did. And look at that mess. Jennifer still won’t talk to me. Now I probably won’t see her until school starts unless she decides to come to talk to me. Sex ruined a great relationship. Just as you ruined yours with Pete over sex.”

“I did, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did.”

“I want you to come over after work, Steve.”

“No, Melanie.”

“No?”

“No. Absolutely not. I’m not doing this. I am not having sex with you. Not now. Maybe not ever.”

“What?! Why?”

“Because you aren’t taking your own damned advice!”

“But I want it.”

“Yes, you do. But you can’t have it.”

“What do I have to do?” she asked.

“Go fix your relationship with Pete. Start there. Call him. Apologize. Do whatever it takes.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“He’s seeing someone.”

“Oh hell, Melanie! What a mess.”

“I know. I ruined everything. And now even you won’t have sex with me.”

“You’re right. Go call Pete. Fix it. The man loves you. He can’t have been seeing anyone for more than six weeks or so. Do it, Melanie.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. Now go call him and don’t talk to me until you do. If he blows you off, come back. If he doesn’t, fix it.”

“But...”

“Melanie Spencer! Do you want to live your life in misery? You and Pete were awesome together. If the sex was boring, spice it up.”

“But he’s not like you.”

“You’re right. But you know what? When he drove me home, I told him that he needed to loosen up a bit and get a little wild with you. He understood what I was getting at and thought it was a good idea. But I bet you broke up with him as soon as he got back and so you never gave him a chance.”

“I did.”

“You know what? Not only should you go call the man, but you should repeat that last thing we did with Michelle. You might find him willing.”

“No way!”

“You’ll never know if you don’t call him. I have to get back to work. And I’m not coming to your house today under any circumstances. When you call Pete, tell him to call me. After I talk to him, I’ll talk to you. But not until then. Go.”

She got up and walked out. I felt terrible and good at the same time. Terrible that I had really beat her up verbally. But elated that I’d get my friend back. I hoped that Pete wasn’t too involved with his new girl.

When I got home I swam. I needed to cool off and clear my thoughts. I wrote in my journal. I shot some pool.

Sunday I went to Becky’s. I had real foreboding about this. I knew we were putting things off that had to be discussed. She wanted to make love as soon as we got to her house, so we did. It was frantic and heated and glorious. We lay in bed together, sweaty, and started talking.