Chapter 37: Two Dances, Part II

April 1978

Saturday I worked. I was still missing Jennifer. And Melanie. I called Jennie when I got home. Fortunately, she was there. I told her about the dance and Bethany and she was quiet for a minute.

“You’re getting yourself into a situation that is really, really tough. You are going to have to be a perfect gentleman and expect nothing more than friendship for a long time. She’s really vulnerable and she’ll be really emotional. Just be prepared for that. Be her friend. Don’t even think about anything physical with her. She’ll let you know when, if ever, she’s ready for that.”

Good advice as always from Jennie. I told her I’d keep her posted. We chatted about life in general. Things were going OK with Kent. In fact, she was seeing him that night. I told her to have fun.

Sunday was dinner at Becky’s. Hiding things from her was eating at me. When she tried to lead me upstairs I told her we needed to talk. I saw tears form in her eyes as she walked with me into the great room. We sat on the sofa.

“Becky, why are you crying?”

“Because you’re breaking up with me. I can tell.”

“I’m doing no such thing. But I do have to talk to you.”

She sniffed, “OK.”

“You remember Michelle?”

She nodded.

“I saw her over Spring Break.”

“That’s why you couldn’t see me on Sunday?”

“Yes.”

“You slept with her,” she said evenly.

“Yes. On Saturday. But you knew that might happen. I talked to you about it before you and I made love the first time.”

“I know. I hoped it wouldn’t happen.”

“Yes, I know you did. And it only happened on Saturday. I don’t think it will ever happen again.”

“Good!”

I detected more than a hint of spite in that comment but let it drop.

“I did go out with her pretty much every day during Spring Break. But other than a hug and kiss when I picked her up and dropped her off, there was nothing physical. I think she needs a boyfriend, and that’s not me. But she wanted one more time with me. But what really bothers me was that Melanie won’t speak to me. She wanted something I couldn’t give her, something I wouldn’t give her. She told me she hated me and asked me to leave. I haven’t talked to her since.”

Becky got a smug look on her face. I let that go, too.

“I’m going to try to fix that relationship, Becky. Just like I’m going to try to fix the one with Jennifer.”

“Why?”

“Because they’re my friends. They’re important to me. I’m not about to give up my friends so easily, and I expect to have female friends for the rest of my life. It’s not something I will negotiate about, either.”

“Oh.”

“I have one more thing to tell you. I had sex with Kellie as well.”

“What? When?”

“A couple of weeks ago.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want to upset you. I told you I was going to do that eventually, too. It was one time, and it’ll never happen again. She wanted a good first time and for me to give it to her. I suspect some High School guy is really happy right about now with the knowledge she gained.”

“You should have told me!” Becky protested.

“Yes, I should have. I didn’t and I’m sorry.”

“Anyone else? Did you sleep with that girl you went to the dance with, too?” This was said spitefully.

I couldn’t let that pass. She didn’t know Bethany and it wasn’t likely that she would ever meet her. And I was angry enough to not care as much as I should have.

“You mean my new friend, the one who was raped and had an abortion when she got pregnant from the rape, and is scared to death to even go on a simple date to a dance? Are you nuts?” I growled.

She wilted and started tearing up again.

“I didn’t know,” she said quietly.

“No, you didn’t. But, she was an exception. Becky, I told you from the beginning that I would have sex with other girls. That I couldn’t be in a relationship like you wanted right now. But I am here. I see you every Sunday. I love you. When we make love I have the most amazing orgasms. I know you love me. But I’m not ready to get engaged, or whatever you want to call it.”

“I know,” she said. “But I want that. You know I do.”

“Yes, I do. And it will have to wait. I’m sorry, I can’t give you that right now. I can only be who I am. You have to decide if that’s enough.”

“It has to be,” she said resignedly.

I pulled her into an embrace and cuddled her on the couch.

“Becky, this is hard for both of us. I know it. If you want your dreams to come true you need to take things step by step. Let’s just keep working on it, OK?”

“Yes. Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“What about the dance the day before your birthday?”

“Joyce? We’ve seen each other a couple of times, mostly at Larry’s grandpa’s house. I’ve kissed her a couple of times, but that’s it. She seems to want to take it slow, like Anna.”

“Why do you need those other girls?”

“Well, with Bethany, you couldn’t go to the dance with me because the turn-about rules said the girl had to be from our school. With Joyce, she asked me to take her to her dance. You can’t go to that one, either. As for Anna, we went on double-dates with Pete and Melanie before they broke up. That was fun, too. I’m not even fifteen. I need to date. I do come to you every single Sunday. I’m not ignoring you or anything. Or hiding you. You are coming to my birthday party, right?”

“Are they going to be there?”

“No. Jennifer and Melanie were invited, but they turned me down as I expected they would. It’ll be you, Larry, and Mary. I didn’t invite Joyce or Anna.”

“Mary, the one you had sex all the time with?”

“Yes, Becky. That Mary. She has a boyfriend, so it’s over between us. The same reason I wouldn’t do what Melanie wanted.”

“She wanted you to have sex with her?”

“Yeah, I thought that was pretty clear.”

“And you turned her down?”

“I turned down a threesome with her and Michelle.”

“You?”

“You know me better than that! Do you think I would have sex with another guy’s girlfriend? Especially when that guy was a good friend?”

“No, I guess not. But you seem to have sex with lots of girls.”

“Yes. I do. But you know what, I haven’t made love to anyone other than you since that time with Jennifer when she told me to come here and make love to you.”

“Wait. You’ve had sex since then.”

“Sure. But I haven’t made love. You’re the only one I make love with right now.”

“Isn’t it the same thing?”

“Do you think me and Mary having sex was about love?”

“Well, no.”

“So there’s a difference then, right?”

“I guess. But I couldn’t have sex with someone I didn’t love.”

“And that’s fine. That’s you. It’s not me. But, before you get really upset, the day I commit to you, that’s the last day I even think about doing anything with anyone else. I’m not saying that day will come, or if it does that it will be soon, but if it does, then I’m yours exclusively.”

“I wish that were right now.”

“I know you do, Becky, I know you do.”

We just cuddled until dinner. We never made it upstairs.

The two weeks flew by. Nothing had changed with Jennifer or Melanie. I had talked to Bethany and she was going to set something up for May. I talked to Jennie again and she once again advised caution. I knew she was right.

Stephanie had been shocked by the journal entries. I told her she should learn the lesson from that and be very careful about who she was with and where they were. It wasn’t like every guy was a rapist, but there were some out there.

“You would kill a guy who did that to me, wouldn’t you?”

“No. I would torture him, then kill him.”

“I believe you would.”

“Stephanie, I have had more sex in the last year than ten average guys my age. The very idea that a guy could do that makes me sick. It’s just so wrong I can’t understand how a guy could do that.”

“That’s because you’re too nice, big bro.”

The usual Sunday dinner at Becky’s once again didn’t lead to sex. My rough calculation was that it was her period, but I didn’t ask. We did talk a lot, which was good. Things were better now that I had gotten the other girls out on the table. I should have done that from the beginning.

My dreams were mostly of Birgit. I missed her.

April 21, 1978

The day of the dance dragged. Every time I looked at the clock, it hadn’t moved. I tried to quit looking. It didn’t help. I was looking forward to the evening. And to my birthday party. I was just sad that Melanie and Jennifer wouldn’t be there.

The final bell finally rang. I flew to the bus. Fortunately, the ride home was normal. I ran into the house, tossed my books on the bed, and hopped in the shower. Once I finished, I grabbed my clothes from the closet. This dance wasn’t formal - it was a sock hop. I had borrowed a 50s suit and tie from Ralph. He had bought one for a similar dance at his girlfriend’s school and it fit well enough for me to wear.

Joyce arrived at about 4:30pm driving the used Plymouth Duster that her parents had helped her buy. It was light blue and in pretty good shape. She drove towards Loveland and we chatted. We were going to have dinner at her house, and then we’d leave for the dance. This was quite the change from the formality of the turnabout dance.

Dinner was steaks done on the grill, potatoes, and corn. Dessert was ice cream. Joyce’s sister, Connie, was clearly flirting with me the whole time, much to Joyce’s annoyance and her mom’s and dad’s amusement. I played along, watching Joyce to make sure she wasn’t upset.

When we finished, Connie had to help with dishes and Joyce took me into their living room and said, “She’s so jealous. And I love it. I have something she can’t have and it drives her nuts.”

“So I’m your possession now, is that it?” I asked with a smile.

“You wish!”

I kind of did. I liked her. She was pretty, fun, and unattached. But she was also taking things very slow. Which was fine. I didn’t need any more complications in my life right now, and having sex with one of Don Joseph’s granddaughters ran risks I had to carefully consider, especially if things were to go badly at some point.

We left for the dance. She was wearing a cute poodle skirt, blouse, bobby sox, and saddle shoes. She had her hair pulled back severely in a ponytail. She looked like she had just stepped off the set of Happy Days!

We got to the school and went to the gym. Of course, we both kicked off our shoes, as the Don McLean song said. Joyce didn’t waste any time. The first song was At the Hop and she had me out dancing. She knew how to dance and tried to teach me. I wasn’t all that coordinated, but I more or less got the hang of it.

When we went to sit down she said with an impish smirk, “I hope you’re more coordinated in bed than on the dance floor!”

“You can find out any time you like. All you have to do is ask.”

“Maybe someday. Don’t get your hopes up for tonight.”

“I have no expectations,” I said. “I never have. I’m just having fun being with you.”

She gave me a kiss.

“You ration those pretty heavily, don’t you?” I said with a grin.

“I do. I want to take it slow. I can tell you’re OK with it. If you weren’t, I wouldn’t have asked you.”

“But the comment?”

“Oh, just me being a smart ass. You know me.”

“I do. But remember, you stopped flirting with me once I asked you out. Now you started again?”

“I have to keep you off-balance,” she said with a smile.

“Story of my life. Every girl in my life, my little sister included, keeps me off balance. She says it’s easy because I’m a dumb boy.”

“You should listen to your little sister.”

“You’re not the first one to say that!”

We both were laughing.

We danced quite a bit. I noticed that Joyce seemed to be avoiding the slow songs. I was OK with that. It fit what I understood about her. Yes, I had hugged her a few times, including in the pool, and had several kisses, she was indeed, very careful with affection.

Finally, as the dance was winding down, they played the final song - Earth Angel. Joyce grabbed my hand and pulled me up to dance. She stepped into my arms, put her arms around me, and put her head on my shoulder in usual slow-dance fashion. Unlike with Bethany, I had a reaction. And it was obvious.

“I see you do like me,” she whispered.

“Sorry about that. I can’t help it with you pressed against me like this.”

“And that’s why I don’t do it too often. I may tease, but I don’t want to be a tease.”

“Thanks for being honest.”

“Thanks for not being upset that I mentioned that log pressing into my leg.”

“You can be really bad when you want to.”

“Yes. I can. But not tonight.”

“You don’t have to tell me over and over. I know the limits. And I won’t cross any lines.”

“Thanks. You’re a good guy, Steve.”

“And you are a sexy, beautiful girl who feels very good in my arms.”

She smiled and kissed my cheek.

We finished the dance and she asked if I wanted to get some ice cream. Of course I did! We went to United Dairy Farmers and each had a chocolate cone. We sat and chatted about the Summer. I asked her if she’d like to go out again and she agreed. I offered my house for swimming and pool at some point as well. She thought that would be fun.

She drove me home after the ice cream. When we arrived, she got out of the car and came up to me. She gave me a big hug which I gladly returned.

“You can have a kiss, if you would like.”

“I would.”

“Make it good!”

I started to gently kiss her, and felt her lips part slightly. I probed gently with my tongue and found hers. Just little light touches. Of course, I was having a reaction to this which she clearly felt.