Chapter 9: Revelation, Part II

July 1977

We both just stood there staring at that picture. After a moment, I took back the other three, picked that one up, and put all four back into the envelope. I knew I had to find a place to put it where nobody could ever find it, even by accident. Where that would be I had no idea. But there was no way I was getting rid of those pictures of Birgit. I put the envelope on the table.

Melanie looked like she had seen a ghost and was ready to bolt. I had no clue what I was supposed to do. But I had an idea.

In my wallet was a phone number; a phone number that would probably cost me $2/minute to call. I decided it was worth whatever part of my paycheck necessary to make that call. Right now.

“I’m going to call Birgit,” I said. “Will you stay while I do?”

She nodded. I grabbed the phone book to figure out how to place my first-ever international call. I hoped Birgit was home. I knew it was afternoon in Sweden on Friday, so I wasn’t going to wake anyone.

I found the page I was looking for. Dial 011 then the country code, which the page said was 46 then the city code, which was 08, but it warned not to dial the 0. Then the number. I picked up the phone, punched in the 13 digits. The mechanical switches clicked and clacked, and after about 30 seconds I heard the ring tone.

“«Det är hos Andersson»,” a male voice on the other end of the line said.

Her dad, I guessed. It didn’t sound like a little brother.

“Hello. I am sorry I don’t speak Swedish. May I speak with Birgit?”

A little laugh. “You must be Steve. Birgit said you might ring. One minute.”

I heard him call her to the phone in Swedish, picking up her name, my name, and the word telephone. She said something that sounded like “Fantastic!” and was on the phone in seconds.

“«Hej Steve»!”

“«Hej Birgit!»”

She giggled.

“You find this funny, do you?” I asked.

“You must have received my gift!”

“Yes. It was, well, interesting. And unexpected. And somewhat shocking.”

“What? You can’t handle a few naked photos of me? You saw more than that in your room. Pictures like that are OK in Sweden.”

“Yeah, but not here. And sorry, but forget those first three!”

She interrupted “Forget?”

“You know what I mean! What the heck was that fourth one?”

She giggled again. “Opportunity. I told you not to pass it up.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I know this call is costing you a fortune. I’m super happy to talk to you, but just ask Melanie to tell you what she and I talked about after that day at your house.”

“She’s here. Do you want to talk to her?”

“Yes!”

I handed the phone to Melanie. She said ‘Hello’ and listened as Birgit talked for about a minute.

“No way!”

Birgit talked for another minute.

“OK. I’ll think about it.”

She handed the phone back to me.

“«Hej»,” I said.

“I love you Steve Adams!”

“I love you too, Birgit Andersson! Write soon, please!”

“I will. You too. And give me all the details. Bye,” she said, laughing as she hung up.

I replaced the receiver. My head was spinning. My lover was trying to set me up with her host sister. What was that about? It seemed like Birgit was pushing things somewhere, but I didn’t get it. Her last letter had made a point about opportunity. She must have sent the pictures about the same time. They were connected for sure.

I asked Melanie to sit down at the kitchen table. I chose that because I remembered it had helped when I talked to Jennie the last time I was at her house. It kept things formal and less threatening. I grabbed a couple of Cokes from the fridge. I set one in front of Melanie, who just stared at it, and then I sat down across from her. She sat there for a minute, then opened her purse and handed me a card.

“Birgit said to give this to you now. I was supposed to give it to you when I left, but she said since you called, you should read it now.”

I opened the envelope and withdrew the card. The front had some Swedish phrase on it that I didn’t know. I opened the card. On the left-side inside, she had written “It says on the front, ‘Thinking of you’”. On the card she had written:

I think I understand you well enough to know that you would be reluctant to have a relationship with someone else after what we did. If we are meant to be, we will be. You don’t need it, but you have my permission to be with Melanie, or any other girl you want. I want you to know that you have to go on with your life. Our hearts are in the right place, but we can’t be together right now. I’ve been hanging out with a guy and I think we’ll get together. Don’t be sad about that. Be happy for both of us. And wait to see what the future brings.

“Love isn’t easy, but it sure is hard enough.”

All my love. Birgit.

I closed the card and put it away. It didn’t say I could share it, so I wasn’t going to. Melanie still hadn’t taken a drink of her Coke.

“Are you OK?” I asked her.

“Not really. I’m kind of in shock and super embarrassed.”

“Me too, on both counts. Birgit insisted that I ask you about what you two talked about after you picked her up.”

Melanie sighed, “It’s really personal. I’m not sure I can.”

My limited experience told me that the best thing to say at the moment was nothing. She had to work it out for herself. I wasn’t sure what I wanted, but I had what almost sounded like an order from Birgit. Sure, it was couched as ‘permission’ but even at fourteen I understood that orders were often given as suggestions.

Don’t get me wrong. Melanie was the epitome of a hot sixteen-year-old. Almost two years older than me, dressed in a way designed to get a guy’s attention. A killer body - long legs, flared hips, flat stomach, medium sized breasts, pouty lips, and twinkling eyes. Her hair was dark and long, almost to her waist. A fantasy girl for most experienced eighteen-year-old guys, let alone a fourteen-year-old with exactly three sexual encounters under his belt. I wasn’t going to press the issue, but if Melanie decided she wanted to have some fun, then I’d be a very willing participant.

While all of this ran through my mind, and I made a concerted effort to look at the trees through the windows so that I wasn’t staring at Melanie or making her even more uncomfortable that she already was, Melanie finally took a sip of her Coke. I just waited while she sat there. She took another, longer, drink and set the bottle down. She sighed and the words started tumbling out.

“When Birgit asked me to bring her here on that Saturday, I was curious about what was going on. I knew you guys hung out, but I was sure there wasn’t anything serious between you. I knew she liked you, but she had always kept you at arms-length because she liked having you as a friend so much. But there was something different about her that Saturday. I grilled her on the way here, but she wouldn’t say much other than that she had something to work out with you before she went home. I couldn’t pry any more details out of her no matter how hard I tried. So I dropped her off and went about my day.”

“When she called about changing the time, I could tell something was up, but I still hadn’t figured out what was going on. I knew it could be sex, but that didn’t make sense given everything she had said. I was confused until I picked her up. When I saw you two together, saw how you touched and kissed, and how she basically floated to the car, I knew something had happened, and the only thing it could be was sex. I also was sure she had been telling me the truth about being a virgin, so that made it even more surprising.”

“When we pulled out of the driveway, I asked her what happened. She told me that ‘Something that should have happened a while ago, but if it had, it might have been terrible instead of beautiful.’ I asked her what she was talking about. She told me that you guys had made love and that it was better than she could even have imagined. And that you were amazing and gentle and sweet and very, very good. I asked her what she meant about the timing and she said you had been a virgin until a couple of weeks before but an older woman had seduced you and apparently you were a quick study.”

She laughed when she said that. I blushed.

“We talked the whole way home, and then until after midnight. She told me absolutely everything step by step. I couldn’t believe that a fourteen-year-old could understand sex that way. Most guys never do, from what my college friends tell me.”

She stopped. I just waited. She finished her Coke and continued the story.

“Birgit knew that I had been with Stan a couple of times and that it wasn’t anything great. The first time was pretty much a disaster and the couple of times since have been, well, unsatisfying. She heard the same from most of her friends who had experimented. The one difference was her friend who had a much older guy for the first time. That friend described an experience that more or less mirrored hers with you. I told Birgit I was jealous and that I hoped I could find a lover like that. She smiled and told me cryptically that she thought I could, if I just looked in the right place. She wouldn’t say anything more about that, but I think we both know she must have been hatching a plan.”

She just kind of slumped in the chair.

“I am completely confused. I don’t know what to do. Birgit told me on the phone to, and I quote, ‘have him screw you silly’. I didn’t even know she knew that phrase. Maybe the Swedes use it as well. That was what she said right before I said ‘No way!’. Birgit was laughing as she said that. After I said ‘no way’, she told me she had given you permission, that I should give you the note, let you read it, and then to take both of your hands, look you in the eye, and ask you to make love to me.”

My turn. I figured there was no silence necessary now, and no secrets.

“You know how she got me? She told me she wanted to teach me a phrase in Swedish. She did, then she asked me to take her hands, look her in the eyes and say it. I did. She answered in Swedish. What she had taught me was ‘Would you like to make love with me.’ And her answer was, as you can guess, ‘Yes, I would.’ That’s what she’s referring to. I’m guessing she figured out I would explain the meaning, either before or after. I’m still trying to figure her out. Birgit told you to use something that would remind me of her. I don’t see how that helps me break the log jam, so to speak. But she’s smart. She seems to know what she’s doing. Even if we don’t.

“Yes, I did have an opportunity to mess around with a woman in her early 20s. It’s super complicated and I’ll tell you as much as I can, but I would prefer to say nothing more than I had an amazing experience and what I learned let me make Birgit feel as good as she did. And she’s right, by the way. If she had been with me even a month earlier, it probably would have ended badly. Probably about like you and Stan.”

Oops. Big mistake. She had a really hurt look on her face.

“Wait, I’m sorry, that was not something I should have said.”

She looked at me with wan smile, “Yeah, but it’s true.” The smile turned to a frown.

We just sat there for a few minutes. I looked at the clock, amazed that it was already 11:30. We’d been talking for 2 hours, including looking at the photos and calling Birgit. I asked if she wanted something to eat.

“Yeah, some fruit, if you have it.”

“We have apples, oranges and bananas. I’m having an apple.”

“A banana would be great,” she said.

I thought I detected a hint of playfulness, but I wasn’t going to respond at this point. The conversations were so deep I thought teasing or innuendo was a really bad choice.

I munched on my apple as she peeled the banana, looked me in the eye and suggestively put it in her mouth. And then bit down - hard. I winced.

She laughed, “Sorry, I just needed a bit of humor. Don’t take it the wrong way.”

“No, that’s fine. I’m walking on egg shells here. I think you are too, so the joke was a good thing.”

She just smiled. A bigger smile than since she first got here. A good sign she was managing to get herself together.

I finished the apple, she finished the banana (without any more teasing) and I tossed the core and peel. When I sat back down she said “So, now what?”

“I don’t know,” I said slowly. “I think we’re both confused.”

She agreed and said, “Well, do you have any idea what we should do?”

Hmm. Loaded question. I suspected if I asked her upstairs she would go. But would she regret it? Would I regret it? Would it totally mess up my relationship with Birgit however it went? Would Birgit get pissed if I refused? On that last one, I didn’t think so. She’d just push me again. Eventually it would happen, either by her urging or my urges. I was already feeling it a bit, which made me realize I needed to be super careful in how I answered. It had to be Melanie’s decision. And one made with a relatively clear mind.

I said, “Well, applying my chess logic to the situation, there are moves and counter-moves. In the end, they all lead to a decision to have sex or not have sex. In between here and that decision are a series of complex questions, possible different outcomes and potential re-evaluation. That’s the logical answer.”

She smiled.

I continued, “The emotional answer is to decide to go upstairs and fuck like bunnies.”

I couldn’t believe I said that word. I couldn’t remember using it since I was little (and getting in trouble, of course) and most certainly not in “mixed” company. Now she laughed.

“Sorry. Perhaps I should have used Birgit’s words, since that’s what she wants us to do apparently - go upstairs and screw each other silly.”

She considered this for a moment and said, “I don’t know. Do you think I could talk to Birgit again?”

Another $20 phone call would be hard to explain, but I had the money. I’d just tell my parents I needed to talk to her, that I was really missing her and that we got disconnected so I called her back.

“Sure.”

I got up, got the number and the phone book, handed it to her and said that I would wait outside on the back porch.

“No, you can stay.”

She dialed. It was actually a quick conversation. Birgit answered, I heard her laughing when Melanie said hello. Melanie said “You’re sure you’re OK with this.” and then “No, I’m not sure.” and finally “OK. That might be a good idea. Thanks. Bye!” and hung up.

Man, I wished I could have listened on the extension. But I wasn’t going to pry. I just waited. She came back and sat down.

When she didn’t say anything, I asked, “So? Do you want to tell me?”

Another slight smile. “She told me that yes, she was OK with it, and asked if I had decided to do it. That’s when I told her I wasn’t sure. Birgit said, ‘Why don’t you kiss him and see what happens. You can always stop.’ Which is when I said that it might a good idea.”

I smiled and said, “A good idea? As in you want to? Or as in something to think about? No pressure, I’m just making sure we’re totally on the same page here. The last thing I want to do is have either one of us do something we’ll regret. And frankly, that’s my concern at the moment for me.”

She looked at me intently, “Wait, you are afraid of that? You’re a guy. Guys will do it with pretty much any girl who offers!”

I smiled again and said, “Well, I think Birgit told you that I’m not just ‘any guy’ didn’t she?”

“Wow. I really didn’t believe her. But I guess she’s right. Holy Toledo!”

She stopped for a moment, and then asked quietly “How long until someone comes home?”

“Late afternoon, which for my parents means after 4:00pm.”

She stood up and said “I need the ladies room.”

“First door on the right in the hallway.”

She went in and closed the door. I quickly went upstairs to empty my bladder and was down before she came out. I decided to move us to the family room since I didn’t think we needed the formal separation of the kitchen table. But I felt I should take a neutral position and was sitting in my dad’s recliner when she came out.

She sat on the couch and looked at me with those twinkling eyes. She had clearly brushed her hair and put on lip gloss really accentuating those pouty lips.

“That good idea? I want to.”

I nodded and got up, walked over to the couch and sat down next to her, close but not touching.

She turned her head, and since she and I were the same height, I simply turned my head and we both leaned in slightly for a gentle kiss. A slight taste of strawberry from the lip gloss - delicious, and so was she. That first kiss led to a second, a third and a fourth. Nothing fancy, just soft kisses on the lips.

She pulled back a bit and sighed, “That was nice.”

All I could say was, “Yeah.”

If she looked at my lap she’d know how much I liked it. Her lips were to die for. I found myself involuntarily comparing them to Birgit’s and Jennie’s and I had to say I liked Melanie’s best. But I didn’t love her like I did both of them. Wait, did I just say I loved them both?