Chapter 6

In the last week, we had two close calls with exactly the thing we didn’t want ... visitors. The first time, I was in the study ordering a couple of cases of organic whole grain cereals from Amazon when someone rang the buzzer from the front gate. I clicked on the ‘SECURITY’ icon and saw a state game warden looking into the camera.

I pushed the intercom button and asked, “Yes? Can I help you?”

“Yeah, I need to ask you some questions.”

“About what?”

“About poaching.”

My heart gave a little leap because I knew Romulus and Remus were as guilty as sin. “Well, I wouldn’t know anything about that,” I lied.

“I still need to talk to you.”

“I’m afraid that would just be a waste of your time and mine. Try the people next door.”

“Look, pal, you can either let me in to talk, or I can go get a warrant to search the property. What’s it gonna be?”

I had no idea what kind of evidence might be in the refrigerator, but I knew we wouldn’t have time to hide it if I let him in now. At any rate, I didn’t like his surly attitude, so I pushed the button and said, “Sounds like a plan! Go get a warrant!”

“Have it your way! I’ll be back in an hour with the Sheriff and the paper.”

He got in his pickup and drove off. I headed downstairs to warn everybody we were about to have company.

I found Ellana in the kitchen and told her what had just happened. She didn’t seem all that upset about it. “Yes, I heard your conversation on the intercom. Appeasement isn’t your strong suit, is it?”

“Well, the guy’s a jerk!”

She gave me one of her knowing half-smiles and said, “Don’t worry, Jesse, we’ll take care of it.”

About that time, Chiam and Lothos walked into the kitchen carrying some plastic bags. They opened the freezer and took out several packages of venison, four dressed cottontails, a goose and two ducks, dropping everything into the bags and heading for the stairs.

Ellana said, “I’ll close up everything behind me. Just play dumb and everything will be fine. We’ve gone through this a couple of times before when Romulus and Remus had close calls on their hunting excursions. Remus warned us we might be getting visitors.”

“Yeah? Well I wish he’d warned me!”

“He should have. Just let the officers search wherever they want to, and don’t give them any trouble. That just makes them all the more curious.”

This was going to be my first time running interference. “Right! I’ll try to be a good little boy.”

About an hour later, I answered the intercom from the kitchen. They announced themselves and said they had a warrant to search the property. I hit the button that opened the gate and said, “Sure. Come on up.”

I met them at the front door. I guess the game warden was still a little steamed about having to go for reinforcements because he sneered and asked, “So, did that give you enough time to hide everything?”

I shrugged and said, “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about. But for your edification, you might have guessed from the gate and the wall that I’m a private person, and I’m well enough off that I certainly don’t have to resort to poaching to feed myself.”

I stepped back and waved them through the door. “But, hey! Knock yourself out!”

I thought I recognized the deputy as the one who met me at the gate that first day. He smiled what looked like an apology and looked up at the ceiling as he handed me a copy of the warrant, then he followed the game warden to the kitchen where they began their search. I trailed behind.

“So, what is it you think I’ve poached?”

“Deer. My people found where one had been dressed out, and my dog followed the trail to the fence out back.”

“Yeah? Then what happened?”

“He lost the trail. I figure you must have either tossed the deer over the fence, or loaded it into some kind of vehicle and driven it away.”

I chuckled, “Well I do try to keep myself in decent shape, but I don’t think I can throw a deer over a ten-foot fence. And as for driving it away, did you find any tire tracks?”

He just made a huffing noise and started rifling through the refrigerator. They searched the entire kitchen, including all the cabinets and the pantry, the upstairs and the downstairs, taking no notice of the vending machine. Then they went out to check the garage. After he struck out there, the warden walked back to his truck to let his Springer spaniel out, and went searching around the fence line to pick up a scent trail.

An hour later, they were back at the house. The warden put the dog in the truck and turned to glare at me. “I don’t know how you do it, mister, but I know deer are being poached, and I know the trail always leads to your property. Sooner or later, we’re gonna catch you in the act and it’s gonna be damned expensive!”

I looked at the deputy and said, “I believe in being a good citizen and cooperating with the law, but I’d sure appreciate a little more respect for my privacy. I don’t think vague suspicions unsupported by any evidence are enough to warrant this kind of intrusion.”

He laid his hand on my shoulder and said, “I’m inclined to agree, Mr. Davies.” Then he looked at the game warden and laughed, “Come on, Eddie, I think we’ve bothered this man enough for one day.”

The front gate had no sooner shut behind them than Ellana and Chiam were back in the kitchen restocking the fridge.

Jellico walked in and suggested, “Maybe we should stop taking deer for a while, let things settle down a bit. I’m sure if we shop around, we can find some game meat for sale.”

“How about bison?” I asked.

“Bison would be good. Do you know a source?”

“Not off hand, but I’ll bet I can find one online. There are ranches out west that raise them like cattle, nowadays.”

“Probably so. Just make sure it’s grass fed and hasn’t been shot full of drugs.”