Chapter 5

She had tears in her eyes. "Should I leave, Abraham, or can this be fixed?"

"Fixing would work." I replied.

She said, "You called me 'Cents' back at the swing. I would like to be worth a dollar again in your eyes. I think I need to explain more about me and my history." She looked at me very troubled. I nodded.

"Abraham, I am a virgin. Only once before have I kissed or held a man like I have held you. There is a reason. I have always felt that or been concerned that I might be a wanton. I don't want to be that type of person. I have been afraid to let go and never have. Now, I know why. I just did with disastrous results.

"I have never had a boy friend. I don't date. If I hadn't been 'forced' into our 'date' Saturday. I would have said, 'No, ' if you had simply asked me to dinner.

"I think that, underneath my bravado and ability, I am scared and a sexual wanton. I do know that you bring out a side of me that is unbelievably enticing and terrifying at the same time.

"I am a trained rape counselor and have counseled girls. I've never truly understood how an otherwise 'nice' girl could lose control without drugs or liquor. I know now. I found out that I'm not a good person or the type a good man would take home to his mother. I just." She began to sob as the tears overflowed her eyes. "I should go."

She started up but I grabbed her first. I was stronger and she fought like a wildcat for a second before sobbing some more.

Very gently, I said, "Millicent, shut up." I had stood when she fought me. I pulled her tight to my chest and let her cry. The front of my shirt was getting wet. I held her gently but firmly until her sobs died away. I wiped her tears with my handkerchief. I loosened enough for her to turn and blow her nose.

"You've had your say. I haven't had mine. I like you. I have enjoyed being with you.

"I made a promise to you that I have never made before or had even considered. You asked for that promise stating that you didn't trust yourself but did trust me. I found that keeping my promise was more difficult than I thought. You are a beautiful woman and I am drawn to you strongly.

"I understood that you were probably a virgin just not how much of a virgin you really are. I'm not in a rush over our relationship. If we are meant to be together, it will work out if we will trust each other and give each other and ourselves a little space when we make mistakes.

"I think we need to talk about what we want in a romantic relationship. If our desires are compatible, and I think they are, we will work it out over time. Personally, I think there is a lot of compatibility in very many ways.

"Now, if you still want to leave, I will not stand in your way. I would prefer you didn't."

I let my arms drop. She held on. In a very small voice, she said, "Could we sit together on the couch inside and talk."

"We could even get some lunch. I have things I can fix for lunch."

She nodded with a smile through her tears. We went inside. She went to the bathroom and washed her face. I stayed in the kitchen and made tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. She came in with a freshly scrubbed face and a better attitude.

I said, "Tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. I have unsweetened iced tea, Cokes, and beer. I want a glass of tea. Everything will be ready in a moment." I had bowls with spoons and paper plates out. I filled two bowls and brought them to the table. I cut a sandwich in half, put it on a plate, and set it on the table. I cut everything off and moved the pots. I cut my sandwich and brought it over. I seated her and then sat down myself.

She prayed for the food, the wonderful man with her, and for our talking later. I echoed her amen. We ate. She had tea but had put in artificial sweetener. "Do you ever add sugar?" I started to reply. "I know. You're sweet enough."

"You learn quickly." I smiled at her.

We finished our meal. I put the bowls in the sink with a little water. We went into the living room and sat together on the couch. She scrunched in close and pulled my arm around her shoulder. She smiled but also looked at me very seriously. It was time to talk.

"Abraham, it sounds trite but I've been hanging on to most every word you've said since you kept me from slapping you." She grinned. "I'm glad you did."

"I'm glad I did, too. You were swinging from the floor. It would have hurt."

"Abraham, what do you want in a woman?"

"Let's see.

"She should be taller than average between five nine and eleven. Slender but not skinny with nice boobs and butt. She has to like the outdoors and be a shooter." She was smiling.

"She has to have a lively personality, good brains and a caring heart. She has to have her own standard of conduct though I would hope she's passionate."

"Abraham, really. That's not what you want, is it? I thought you would like someone more like Teresa with real curves."

"No. Been there, done that. Looks aren't unimportant but it's the mind and heart that are more important. I read a book once that discussed a woman character in the book. It said that she's pretty but that's not as important as her mind. Then it said that she's smart but that's not as important as her heart. It said she has a caring, loving heart and that was all that's really important. I think that author had it right. I would like a good looking woman who is smart but I would give up both for a good heart."

"Abe, where do I fit into that view?"

I said, "Well, if I work my way up. You're pretty. Actually, you're better looking in my mind than just pretty. You have classical good looks that will last.

"Next is smarts. I think you're smart. You've done well in your profession and, from what little I've heard, you have made an effort to learn more than just what you had to learn.

"That leaves the most important thing to me, heart. The answer there is that it's very promising but I don't know you well enough yet."

She said, "That's honest enough. I appreciate it. I know I feel like I have things to prove sometimes. Being a female cop is different. It's a tough environment on occasion. My shooting was the best in the department and, at the Lee range, I was the best until you came along."

"You're still one of the best. I'm really an interloper and shouldn't count."

"Both Moss and Jorgeson think it counts. I do, too. I have to admit that I'm glad I lost because I had to dress up and spend time with you. Sunday morning, Mossy told me that I did marvelously well at Lee on Saturday afternoon. He said he was proud of me."

"As well he should be. Of the five top scores on the range, you have three of them. You are a shooter in my book. Jorgeson says that the next closest score is a forty-three with a number of people with that score. Mossy says you're a good cop. I believe him."

She said, "Thank you. Abraham, I really want you to think well of me.

"I would like to be able to tell people that we're dating. I want to show you off to my parents. My mother worries that I don't date or seem to show any interest in men. She's wrong about interest but I have never brought anyone home ever. Can you handle being in her spotlight?"