Chapter 53: Living the Dream

Police work was vastly different from military life. One of the biggest differences was that the U.S. Army was quite monolithic, in the sense that everybody trained and fought the same way. Every infantryman trained at Fort Benning. Every helicopter crewman trained at Fort Rucker. Every medic trained at Fort Sam Houston. You get the idea. The same could be said at any camp or fort in the country. Everybody did things the same. There’s a reason they called it the ‘big green machine.’ It made everything predictable and uniform.

Police work, on the other hand, was anything but predictable and uniform. The largest police department in America was the New York City Police Department, which had upwards of 30,000 officers. At the other end of the scale might be the East Asshole Township department with six part-time officers and two rusty cruisers. The general rule was that every county, incorporated city, and state could have their own law enforcement. Even colleges could have sworn peace officers on staff. In Georgia, the largest police force was the Atlanta PD, which numbered about 1,600. Some of the counties had police departments separate from the towns in the county. You also had county sheriffs, who were also peace officers, and of course, the Georgia State Patrol had another 1,200 officers. Further, while everybody had to meet the Georgia Peace Officer Standards and Training requirements, some departments had more stringent requirements. Atlanta required their police to be at least 20 years old and the State Patrol required troopers to be 21. Some departments also required a two-year college degree.

Jurisdiction could be equally confusing. In Matucket County, the Sheriffs ran the courthouse, the jail, and the patrol on Lake Matucket in the summer, while the MPD patrolled the rest of the county. Meanwhile the State Patrol could go anywhere they pleased, though they mostly patrolled I-20 and the main state highways in the county.

To make it especially crazy, each department had the right to have its own police academy for training. If you wanted to join the Atlanta PD you had to attend the Atlanta PD academy, and the State Patrol had their own academy. Otherwise, you had to attend one of the nine Georgia regional academies that were spread all around the state, and the rumor was that some were better than others. Finally, to be abundantly clear, none of them were anything at all like the movie.

Graduation was Friday, March 21, the end of our eleven-week course. We had our last test that week and finished all our hands-on training. Thursday and Friday were mostly spent doing all the finishing-up details and paperwork. My grades were surprisingly good. I knew I had done well in the hands-on stuff, but my test scores were similar to what I had done at Jefferson Community College in Watertown, mostly B+ and A- range. Like I learned back then, it was amazing what I could do when I wasn’t fucking around. I ended up ranking in the top quarter of the class. On the downside, I had the equivalent of twenty college credits, but they were non-transferable, like the A.A.S. degrees that Kelly and I had once talked about.

Our class, 2008-1, had started with thirty-six students, but we were graduating with twenty-four. Of the dozen who were no longer with us, a couple had left because they couldn’t handle the physical training, another couple left because they were complete fuckups with firearms and couldn’t be given ammunition and weapons without them killing somebody, four couldn’t handle the classes academically, and the other four dropped out because they decided they didn’t want to be cops after all. None of the survivors would be joining the same police force. Some of us had jobs lined up already around the state, and some of us were hoping to apply to various departments that might be hiring. We were a real mixed bag.

Ever see movies and TV shows with police academy graduations? Hundreds of eager young faces in a massive auditorium are getting a stirring speech from the police commissioner, the district attorney, or a deputy mayor. Very awe-inspiring! Also, totally bogus! The only departments that had that many recruits were the biggest municipal departments, like New York or Los Angeles. Much more common was the graduation ceremony at the Athens academy. The academy commander made a short speech, we received our certifications, took a class photo, and went our separate ways. We all shook hands and clapped each other on the back, and that was it. Most of us figured the photo would make its way to the back of the Sports section of the Athens Banner-Herald or the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Page 7, below the fold and between ads for a car dealership and ladies’ support garments.

In any case, that was the end of my time in Athens. Kelly and I went out to dinner at a nice restaurant to celebrate Friday night when she got back from UGA. Saturday, we packed all my gear into our cars and drove back to Matucket. I was moving back into the apartment for a bit longer. Our current plan was to concentrate on the immediate things this spring and summer. The following week I was heading back to the MPD to make my final formal application to become a police officer. With any luck at all, I would join the department the first week of April. Meanwhile Kelly had to finish up at UGA and get started at Matucket State. Her graduation was Saturday, May 10. A month later, Saturday, June 21, was our wedding, followed by our honeymoon in the Bahamas. Then and only then would we be free to start figuring out buying a house. Things looked very positive for us but would be very complicated for the next few months.

Monday morning, March 24, I reported back to the MPD and looked up Lieutenant Brownell. He was on vacation for a few days, so I ended up speaking to Captain Carson. He smiled when I knocked on his door. “The conquering hero returns!”

“I don’t know about any conquering, sir, but I’m back. Graduation was Friday.”

“I heard that. We were following your progress. Your instructors were quite pleased, Officer Tackleberry.”

I cringed at that. “Sir, that was just a one-time joke!” I protested. That was all I needed following me around.

He laughed. “So, I heard. Just don’t forget that this isn’t combat, so you don’t get to shoot the suspects under custody.”

“No sir!”

“All right then. Got your certificate? Nothing is official until the paperwork is done. Go see Caroline Upgrove and get started on that. Remember, you are still not an MPD officer. That won’t happen until you get sworn in by the County Council President, and he’s in Atlanta for a conference for a couple of days. Figure Thursday or Friday at best. Until then, keep the gear we assigned you but don’t even think about using it.”

“Understood, Captain. Do I come back to work here as an admin until then?”

He shrugged. “You can, or you can just goof off for a few days. Check with Caroline. She runs this place anyway. In the meantime, you can go out and buy some uniforms. She’ll have the list of approved vendors. Just do what she tells you.”

It was obvious that the interview was over. “Yes, sir, I’ll do that.”

“Congratulations, Grim. I’ll let the Chief and Captain Crowley know you’re back and made it through. You know, of course, that you’ll start under Captain Crowley, in Patrol. Everyone starts out in Patrol. Now, go see Caroline.”

That was true; everyone did start out in Patrol, in any police force. Patrol was the guys in the blue uniforms and the cruisers. Every detective, every SWAT guy, every administrator, every lieutenant or captain or whatever started out in a blue uniform riding around in a patrol car. Some of the cops hated it and some loved it, but that’s the way you started. I was kind of looking forward to it. I’d have to see what it was like, but I could see myself working my way up in Patrol if I was good.

I thanked him and left. Caroline welcomed me back and had me sit down. She plopped a pile of paperwork in front of me and said, “Congratulations. Now you don’t just get to file the paperwork, you get to create some of your own!”

I laughed. “My lifelong ambition, Caroline. I’m living the dream!”

“Glad we could help.” Then she showed me what I had to fill out and put me to work. Even though this was my application to become a police officer, I had already managed to get all the supporting documentation and she had that in a folder for me. Now it was just a matter of getting things in the proper order and checking off all the details.

By lunch, I was ready. I took the pile back to Caroline and said, “Here you go. Do me a favor and check it to make sure I didn’t miss anything.”

“That’s the plan.” She pushed it over to the side. “Listen, Grim, unless you really want to come back and file papers for a week, take a few days off. Matucket is running short of mass murderers and serial killers this week. We’ll call you and let you know when the County Council President plans to swear you in. Feel free to invite a few guests. Anybody in mind?”

“Just Kelly and my family.”

She nodded. “It’ll probably be this Friday or next Monday. Go home and take a few days off. The criminals will still be here waiting for you when you get back.”

“Thanks, Caroline.” I stood and left.

I got back to the apartment just as my grandmother was pulling into the driveway with some mulch and fertilizer in the back of Grandpa’s pickup truck. “Grim, what are you doing home so early?”

“They need to process the final paperwork and didn’t need me to file anything.”

“Well, good! You’re just in time to help unload this and spread it around the garden.”

I grabbed for my phone. “Sorry, Grandma, they’re calling me back in!”

“Nice try! Change your clothes and come on back down here,” she scolded me.

I laughed and made a standard protest but went up the stairs to change. Five minutes later, I was back down at the back of the pickup truck. “I knew I should have stayed in town.”

“Then you’d have been doing this after you got home,” she replied.

“Hmmmm.”

She snorted out a laugh. “You think I’m tough, wait until you get married. Kelly will be even tougher! I know that girl.”

I laughed. “Not to be rude about it, Grandma, but working for her comes with some fringe benefits that I’m not going to get around here.” I waggled my eyebrows at that.

“Get to work, you scamp!”

Mulch and fertilizer took up the rest of the day for me, and I resolved to find someplace else to be the rest of the week. Tuesday morning, I drove back to Athens, only stopping off at the station to make sure they had my phone number. By now it looked definite that I would get sworn in on Friday afternoon and report for duty Monday morning. At that point, I would be handed off to my FTO, my Field Training Officer, who would ride around with me until he passed me or failed me.

Kelly and Megs welcomed me back with a few curious questions, but otherwise it was not a problem. I stayed there a couple of nights, and then Thursday Kelly and I drove back home. She planned to attend my swearing in, as did Mom, Dad, and my grandparents. Mom wanted pictures, of course. Grandpa had a more practical take on it all. “You give me a ticket, boy, and your rent will increase by the amount of the ticket!”

“Hmmm ... slave labor for Grandma and paying your tickets too? We are definitely moving out!” I replied.

My swearing-in ceremony wasn’t much fancier than my graduation ceremony at the Academy. It was on Friday, April 4, and supposed to be at 2:00 in the afternoon. We all got there at about 1:45, me in my new uniform, properly wearing my duty belt, sidearm, and gear, and my family dressed in either suits or dresses. We brought them in the back way since that was easier and went to a small conference room on the second floor. On the way through Caroline told me, “Figure on 2:30 now. Councilman Walker called and is running a few minutes late.” Walker was the President of the County Council.

“Oh.”

“That’ll be fine. We can wait,” assured my father.

“Yeah, uh, Caroline, this is my family.” I introduced everybody to her, explaining, “Caroline has pretty much been my boss while I worked here.”

“And still will be if you’re smart. Otherwise, your files will mysteriously disappear,” she answered.

We waited in the conference room for the high and mighty to show up. That happened about 1425. Councilman Walker came in, all smiles, followed by Chief Jefferson and Captains Crowley and Carson, and Lieutenants FitzHugh and Gibbons, who were the two Patrol Lieutenants. There was also a photographer. A small group of onlookers was in the back of the room, but I didn’t think it was because of me. I think it was because there was a sheet cake from Piggly Wiggly with the MPD logo on it on a side table.

Walker dutifully greeted everybody with a big smile and a firm handshake. Right off the bat I noticed that his campaign photos must have been edited - his toupee was pretty noticeable! I kept my mouth shut, though. In any event, after everybody said hello to everybody else, it was time to get the show on the road. Chief Jefferson and Captain Crowley stood in the background, while Kelly held Mom’s Bible for me. Then I had to place my left hand on it and raise my right hand, while Councilman Walker swore me in.

“I, Graham Wendell Reaper, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend ... the Constitution of the United States of America and the Constitution of the State of Georgia; ... that I will faithfully perform all the duties of my office; ... that I will faithfully observe all the rules, orders, and regulations of my agency; ... and that I will faithfully enforce the laws of the State of Georgia and the ordinances of my local jurisdiction ... I do further swear or affirm that I am not the holder of any unaccounted for public money due this state or any political subdivision or authority thereof; ... that I am not the holder of any office of trust under the government of the United States, ... any other state, or any foreign state ... which, by the laws of the State of Georgia, I am prohibited from holding; ... and that I am otherwise qualified to be a police officer according the Constitution and the laws of the State of Georgia ... I do further swear or affirm that, as a police officer, I will faithfully serve and protect, to the best of my ability, all citizens regardless of race, color, or creed ... So help me God!”

Before I took the oath, I had to check with Captain Carson on a few details. The only part that was a potential problem was the section where I was swearing that I was not the holder of any office or trust under the government of the United States. The idea behind that rule was that I couldn’t work for both the MPD and some other agency at the same time. However, at least until my contract with the Army ran out in 2011, I was still theoretically in the Individual Ready Reserve. He simply nodded and replied that this wasn’t the first time that came up, and that both Federal and state laws protected me as a veteran in this regard. It wasn’t unusual, for instance, for a police officer or fire fighter to be a member of the Guard or Reserve. He pointed out a later section of the oath,” which, by the laws of the State of Georgia, I am prohibited from holding” ; the laws of Georgia didn’t prohibit me from any possible military duty.

Anyway, that was pretty much it. The photographer took pictures of me with the Council President, the Chief, and the other officers, and with my family. Councilman Walker made sure to get his photo taken with lots of potential voters, and then grabbed a piece of cake, as did the rest of us. Walker was hoping the photo would be on the front page of the Matucket Times-Dispatch, but several other people solemnly swore that we would be lucky if it made the bottom of Page 47, right underneath an ad for suppositories. An accompanying press release was issued welcoming me to the force.

Monday morning was my first official day as a sworn peace officer in the state of Georgia. I was to go through six weeks of training with my FTO on the day shift, after which I would become a regular patrol officer. Then it would become complicated. There were 168 hours in a week, all of which required police presence. A traditional Monday through Friday eight-hours-a-day shift just wasn’t going to cut it. For one thing, the three regular shifts, days, evenings, and graveyard, would each get 40 hours a week. What do you do on the weekend? A single 48-hour shift? Leaving aside the impossibility of a single group of officers staying awake for 48 hours straight, that meant that this group would end up earning 8 hours of overtime pay. The result was that nobody was happy.

The MPD had a strange sort of hybrid system that covered all the hours of the week. We had three shifts - days, evenings, and graveyard - but everybody worked four ten-hour shifts, and then took four days off. To make that work, the officers on each shift were split into seven groups, with each group starting a different day. The net effect was to rotate your workdays through the week over a seven-week schedule. Even better, the ten-hour shifts allowed a two-hour overlap at each shift change, so that somebody was always out on patrol

That only affected the officers on Patrol, since they were the guys driving around in the cruisers fighting crime and battling evil. The command staff - the chief, captains, and lieutenants - only worked weekdays, 9-5. That was pretty much the same with Investigations, since the detectives generally did their jobs by asking people questions, often visiting them at work, and dealing with various businesses and government outfits. They weren’t going to be doing that at midnight on a Saturday. Services had their own strange schedule, but they were generally the smallest of the three divisions, at least as regards sworn officers. They needed officers to man records and the evidence vault, as well as supervising the impound yard and motor pool. The clerical stuff, however, was pretty much weekdays 9-5.