Jokes and Giggles
Chapter 994

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

I was sitting there at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

“Well, whatcha’ gonna do about it?” he says menacingly.

“You’ve just made this the worst day of my life,” I say. “I’m a complete failure.

I was late to a meeting this morning, so my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen, and I don’t have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab that I then took home where I found my wife with another man ... and then my dog bit me.”

“So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all.

I buy a drink, I drop a cyanide capsule in, and I sit here watching the poison dissolve ... and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing! But, enough about me, how are you doing?”


Heaven

Obama, Hillary and Trump are standing at the throne of heaven. God looks at them and says, “Before granting you a place at my side, I must ask you what you have learned, what you believe in.”

God asks Obama first: “What do you believe?”

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