Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
I was standing at the bar of Terminal C at Toronto Airport when this small Chinese guy comes in, stands next to me, and starts drinking a beer.
I asked him, “Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate, or Ju-Jitsu?”
He says “No, I don’t. And furthermore, why the hell would you ask me that? Is it because I’m Chinese?”
“No”, I said, “It’s because you’re drinking my beer, you little prick.”
This is compliments of J & B
This genius is probably building something in his garage that will change the world as we know it. Read on.
The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student. (?)
The answer by this student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?