Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
These are compliments of J & B
I know a guy who’s addicted to break fluid. He says he can stop any time. Jokes about German sausage are the worst. I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It’s syncing now. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. Why were Indians here first? They had reservations. Class trip to Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz. Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes. I use to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure. OK, one more. Venison for dinner? Oh deer!
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without alcohol,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!
And you thought I was going to get all spiritual...
Handle every Stressful Situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, pee on it and walk away.
If you don’t laugh at this one, you’re not breathing...