Jokes and Giggles
Chapter 566

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

This one is compliments of John A.

The Mexican maid asks for a raise.

The wife was very upset about this, and decided to talk to her about the raise.

She asked: “Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?”

Maria: “Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze.”

“The first is that I iron better than you.”

Wife: “Who said you iron better than me?

“Maria: “Jor huzban he say so.”

Wife: “Oh yeah?”

Maria: “The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you.”

Wife: “Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?”

Maria: “Jor huzban did.”

Wife, increasingly agitated: “Oh he did, did he?”

Maria: “The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed.”

Wife: really boiling now and through gritted teeth “And did my husband say that as well?”

Maria: “No Señora...”The gardener did.”

Wife: “So then, how much did you have in mind?”

Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don’t really give a rat’s arse anymore ... If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal ... A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat ... A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn’t run and does mostly nothing except eat, yet it lives for 150 years.

And they tell us to exercise? I don’t think so!

Now that I’m older, here’s what I’ve discovered:

  1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

  2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.

  3. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded

  4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

There is more of this chapter...
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