Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
This one is compliments of John A.
The Mexican maid asks for a raise.
The wife was very upset about this, and decided to talk to her about the raise.
She asked: “Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?”
Maria: “Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze.”
“The first is that I iron better than you.”
Wife: “Who said you iron better than me?
“Maria: “Jor huzban he say so.”
Wife: “Oh yeah?”
Maria: “The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you.”
Wife: “Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?”
Maria: “Jor huzban did.”
Wife, increasingly agitated: “Oh he did, did he?”
Maria: “The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed.”
Wife: really boiling now and through gritted teeth “And did my husband say that as well?”
Maria: “No Señora...”The gardener did.”
Wife: “So then, how much did you have in mind?”
Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don’t really give a rat’s arse anymore ... If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal ... A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat ... A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn’t run and does mostly nothing except eat, yet it lives for 150 years.
And they tell us to exercise? I don’t think so!
Now that I’m older, here’s what I’ve discovered:
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded
Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.