Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
This one is compliments of the 'Shy One.'
As I get older I realize:
1. I talk to myself, because sometimes I need expert advice.
2. Sometimes I roll my eyes out loud.
3. I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!
4. My people skills are just fine! It is my tolerance of idiots that needs work!
5. The biggest lie I tell myself is "I don't need to write things down, I'll remember it."
6. When I was a child I thought nap time was punishment. Now it is like a mini-vacation.
7. The day the world runs out of wine is just too terrible to think about!
8. Even duct tape can't fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound!
9. Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller!
10. "Getting Lucky" means walking into a room and remembering why I'm here!
This one is compliments of Rosstester
Rajpat (father): I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Son: "I will choose my own bride!!!"
Rajpat: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter..."
Son: "Well, in that case ... ok"
Next Rajpat approaches Bill Gates.
Rajpat: "I have a husband for your daughter..."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!!"