Jokes and Giggles
Chapter 326

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

Friendship, SCOTTISH STYLE...

Are ye tired of those weak 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, here are a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship ... You will see no cute wee smiley faces on this card. Just the stone cold truth of a great friendship.

1 ... When ye are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the bastard who made ye sad.

2 ... When ye are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking ye.

3 ... When ye smile -- I will know ye are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.

4 ... When ye are scared -- I will shake the piss out of ye every chance I get, until you're NOT.

5 ... When ye are worried -- I will tell ye stories about how much worse it could be until YE STOP YER WHINING!

6 ... When yer confused -- I will try to use only wee words.

7 ... When ye are sick -- Stay tae hell away from me until ye are well again. I dinna want whatever ye've got.

8 ... When ye fall, I will laugh me head off at you, you clumsy arse, -- but I'll help you up.

9 ... This is my oath -- I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; Because ... you are my friend.

Friendship is like peein' in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

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