Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Friendship, SCOTTISH STYLE...
Are ye tired of those weak 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here are a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship ... You will see no cute wee smiley faces on this card. Just the stone cold truth of a great friendship.
1 ... When ye are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the bastard who made ye sad.
2 ... When ye are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking ye.
3 ... When ye smile -- I will know ye are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.
4 ... When ye are scared -- I will shake the piss out of ye every chance I get, until you're NOT.
5 ... When ye are worried -- I will tell ye stories about how much worse it could be until YE STOP YER WHINING!
6 ... When yer confused -- I will try to use only wee words.
7 ... When ye are sick -- Stay tae hell away from me until ye are well again. I dinna want whatever ye've got.
8 ... When ye fall, I will laugh me head off at you, you clumsy arse, -- but I'll help you up.
9 ... This is my oath -- I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; Because ... you are my friend.
Friendship is like peein' in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.