Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 306
This one is compliments of Gary, his wife didn't like it, and he has the black eye to prove that:
Getting a word in edgewise with a lot of women is like trying to thread a sewing machine needle while the motor is running.
This one is compliments of Johnnymax, a contrast to the MS Windows joke. a variation came to mind.
Wife texts husband on a beautiful day after a fruit picking weekend: "Apples driving me nuts, what to do."
Husband texts back: "put in cider maker and crank up the pressure."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer gone flat now."
These are compliments Bill L
British humor as it used to be: absolutely politically incorrect.
It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use water cannons on rioters. They are putting some Tide washing powder in to stop the coloreds from running.
Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London. Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.
Riots in Birmingham last month caused over £1 million worth of improvements.
Muslims have gone on the rampage in Manchester, killing anyone who's English. Police fear the death toll could be as high as 8 or 9.
Years ago it was suggested that, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." But, since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works great!
Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque...
They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.
During last night's high winds a Muslim family were killed by a falling tree.
A spokesman for the Birmingham City council said,
"We didn't even know they were living up there."
Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crimewatch is being shown 5 times a week now.
I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low.
I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony, shaking a carpet.
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