Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Yes I know they could be possible repeats...
These are compliments of Lys
An Elderly Prayer -
"Dear Lord: The last fifteen or twenty years have been very tough. You have taken my favorite actor - Paul Newman; my favorite actress - Elizabeth Taylor; my favorite singer - Andy Williams; my favorite author -Tom Clancy; and now, my favorite comedians ¬ Robin Williams and Joan Rivers.
I just wanted you to know that my favorite politicians are Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, and I have a special place in my heart for Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton.
Random thoughts as we age:
- The biggest lie I tell myself is..."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
- Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes and come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!
- Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet!
- I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!
- I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!
- Old age is coming at a really bad time!
- Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!