Jokes and Giggles

These are compliments of Lys

An Elderly Prayer -

"Dear Lord: The last fifteen or twenty years have been very tough. You have taken my favorite actor - Paul Newman; my favorite actress - Elizabeth Taylor; my favorite singer - Andy Williams; my favorite author -Tom Clancy; and now, my favorite comedians ¬ Robin Williams and Joan Rivers.

I just wanted you to know that my favorite politicians are Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, and I have a special place in my heart for Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton.

Random thoughts as we age:

- The biggest lie I tell myself is..."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

- Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes and come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!

- Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet!

- I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!

- I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!

- Old age is coming at a really bad time!