Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
This one is compliments of Needle Noddle-noo
Sven was recounting his war experiences on the local radio station.
"So, dere I vas, flyin' ever France, mindin' my own business. Suddenly, one o' dem Jerman Fokkers dives at me out of the sun. guns blazing. Well, I [description of aerial battle] and got behind him and shot that Fokker down."
The radio announce broke in and said, "For those in our audience who are unfamiliar with warplanes, the Germans in World War One flew a plane known as the 'Fokker'. The Red Baron is probably the best known flying ace who flew one. Back to you, Sven."
"Ya, Ya," said Sven. "Dat's right. But dis vas WWII, and dem Jerman Fokkers vas driving Messerschmitts."
This one is compliments of Cor
An elderly lady goes to the doctor.
'Doctor there is something strange happening, because lately I pass a lot of wind, luckily it is sound and odorless.'
The doctor nods his head knowingly and writes a prescription. 'Use these pills for two weeks and come back'.
After two weeks the lady comes back complaining, 'Doctor I don't know what you did, but now my wind is smelling horribly.'
'Good, ' the doctor replies, 'Your sense of smell is back, now let's see what we can do about your hearing'.
This little ditty is compliments of Gary...
Do you know why Santa Claus doesn't have any children of his own?
He only comes once a year and then that's down the chimney.
This one is compliments of Dennis
The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. We always hear the rules From the Woman side. Now here are the rules from the man side.
These are our rules!
Men are NOT mind readers.
Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down ... We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.