Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
These are compliments of KP
This could be a repeat but is worth another glance ... Jack
THE WEDDING TEST
I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.
There was only one little thing bothering me ... It was her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view.
It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.
She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door and headed straight towards my car.
Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!"
So the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.
Tarzan & Jane are swinging through the trees one day, with Tarzan repeatedly making his jungle call.
Suddenly he lets out an almighty ear-splitting shriek.
He turns to Jane and says "Jane, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times ... GRAB! THE! VINE!!!"
-- and two that go together
Q: Why do elephants paint their balls red?
A: So they can hide in apple trees.
Q: How did Tarzan die?
A: Picking apples.
Some have asked what I've been doing in retirement. Well, I applied for a building permit for a new house.