Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
This one compliments of larry
A Little SEC Humor
A guy from Tennessee passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow, but she can't touch it till she's 14.
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
Q: What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Tennessee?
A Tennessee State Trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-64 and says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?" and the truck driver replies, "'Bout wut?"
Did you hear about the $3 million Tennessee State Lottery? The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
The governor's mansion in Tennessee burned down! Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss too. Both books - poof! – up in flames and he hadn't even finished coloring one of them.
A new law was recently passed in Tennessee. When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.
A guy walks into a bar in Tennessee and orders a mudslide. The bartender looks at the man and says, "You ain't from 'round here are ya?"
"No," replies the man, "I'm from Pennsylvania."
The bartender looks at him and says, "Well, what do ya do in Pennsylvania?"
"I'm a taxidermist," says the man.
The bartender, looking very bewildered, asks, "What in the world is a tax-e-dermist?"
The man says, "I mount animals."
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's okay boys, he's one of us!"
Adult Fairy Tales
CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her.
As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2:00 am. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin." Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 am. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 am, Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied. "Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!" " I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."
The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!"
Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly,. Peter, Peter, something or other..."