Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
At a local bar in downtown Barrie the owner/bartender was so sure that he was the strongest man around, that he offered a standing $1,000 bet.
The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and then hand the lemon to the patron...
Anyone who could squeeze two more drops of juice out of it, would win the money.
Many people had tried over the years: weight lifters, longshoremen, block layers, etc., but nobody had ever been able to do it.
One day, this scrawny little fellow came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit. He sat down, ordered a glass of draft, & started looking around the bar.
After reading the sign on the wall about the lemon challenge, he said in a small voice: "I was just reading your sign, and I'd like to try the bet."
After the laughter had died down, the bartender said: "Ok,..."
He grabbed a lemon and squeezed the heck out of it. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little fellow.
But the Crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his little fist around the lemon ... and six drops fell into the glass.
As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the guy his $1000, and then asked the little man: "Do you mind if I ask what do you do for aliving? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?"
The little fellow quietly replied: "I work for Revenue Canada."
These are compliments of Dave
President Obama walks into the Bank of America and says to a cashier, "Good morning Ma'am, could you please cash this check for me"?
"It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID"?
"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to.
I am President Barrack Obama, the president of the
"Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the
Government regulations, monitoring of the banks because of imposters and forgers, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."