Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
The Psychiatrist and the Proctologist
Two best friends graduated from medical school at the same time, and decided that in spite of their two different specialties, they would open a practice together and share office space and personnel.
Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist; they put up a sign reading: 'Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors."
The town council was livid and insisted they change it.
So the docs changed it to read: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids."
This was also not acceptable so they again changed the sign to read:
"Catatonics and High Colonics" - no go.
Next they tried: "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives" - thumbs down again.
Then came "Minds and Behinds" - still no good.
Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes" - unacceptable again!
So they tried "Nuts and Butts" - no way.
"Freaks and Cheeks" - still no good.
"Loons and Moons" - forget it.
Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with this:
"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Specializing in Odds and Ends."
Everybody loved it.
The following are totally offensive and tasteless humor. Caution is advised.
1. I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard, and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.
2. After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Rick woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realized he had made it home safely.
3. Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
4. "IT'S A BOY" I shouted, "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY". And with tears streaming down Tom's face he swore he'd never visit another Thai Brothel.
5. Sailing results are in, GB took gold, USA took silver. and Somalia took a Middle aged couple from Duluth.
6. A boy asks his granny, "Have you seen my pills, they were labeled LSD?"
Granny replies, "Fuck the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?"
7. Wife gets naked and asks hubby, "What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
Hubby looks her up and down and replies, "Your sense of humor!"